Depression shows itself in many ways. Been there myself, and I'm an extremely busy person. That 'busy-ness,' I finally realized, was one of the ways I was coping. The busier I was, the less I had time to deal with, even realize, my feelings. I was skating along the surface, not understanding how thin the ice could be.

Therapy and medication are the best solutions for you, my dear. (And I speak from experience.) Unlike friends or loved ones, a therapist is dispassionate and trained. And - most importantly - on your side. Depression physically is often a chemical imbalance in the brain - the right medication can help.

A warning: therapy hurts. But those hurt feelings are in there and have to come out.

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I wish I could be of more help but I am with you for moral support. Try, try, try to get your diabetes under control and maybe that will help but get the professional help that you need. we are here to support you.

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Remember, clinical depression isn't always a 'sadness'. It takes a trained professional to diagnose it. I went through a bout of it several years ago and I was fortunate to obtain professional help. Listen to your doctor and follow what he or she prescribes. Usually, you can beat something like this fairly quickly. We're all rooting for you.

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It is possible that you may be depressed and still be unaware of it. Not all depressed people sleep all the time. I have been dealing with depression and panic attacks for a long time now, and I don't sleep alot, I just think and worry alot; even when I am busy, my mind is still going. I whish I did sleep alot, then I wouldn't be thinking so much. I don't understand why your doctor thinks that you are killing youself. Are you not doing what you are supposed to be doing in regard to your diabetes? I know it is hard to keep it under control. I am on the pump, and I can't keep mine under control all the time. It is either high or bottoming out. I was at 52 just a little while ago, so I had some ice cream, probably shouldn't have done that, but I did. I can't see any difference in that than eating a small candy bar. Just needed to get it up quickly. But, my advice to you, is listen to your doctor; take the medication and see how you feel in a few weeks. My doctor put me on Cymbalta for awhile. It didn't agree with me,so I stopped taking it. You may do better with it than I did. We are all different,and medication affects each and every one of us differently. Don't let them put you on Abilify. You can read my posts on my expericnecs with Abilify. We are here for you, so if you get down and out and need someone to talk to, just get on here and vent. You never know when you just might get lucky and get a lot of your questions and concerns answered. Hang in there, and keep us posted on how you are doing. Will be praying for you. Sue

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I think you are on the right track. Try the medicine, and keep that appointment with the dietician. Follow that advice (hard as it may seem), and get your levels down. It won't happen overnight, and you will hav e some set-backs, but we all do. Just let it go and get right back on track. We are all with you, and there are many knowledgable people on this site. We are all pulling for you. Best wishes.
Jim

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I know there's a fine line here and I hope I can walk it.

Depression is a very real, very debilitating condition. Denial is a very real, very debilitating reaction to having a serious condition. You should definitely take a careful inventory of yourself, your moods, your actions and reactions. You should look hard for signs of depression and/or denial. It's probably best to have some professional help while taking this careful inventory.

However, your doctor cannot tell you what and how you are feeling. Just because your doctor went to medical school doesn't mean he has some crystal ball that allows him to spend 15 minutes in an exam room with you and declare you clinically depressed.

Trust yourself. Be honest with yourself. Depression meds are powerful medications and will bring many changes to your mood and your behavior. If you need them, they can be a great blessing in your life. If you DON'T need them, you absolutely should not be taking them.

That's just my two cents.

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I just read your posting and can feel your pain and confusion. Depression manifests itself in a lot of ways. Sometimes it is masked by keeping so busy we don't have time to feel because feeling is to painful and makes us feel very sad and blue. We can overeat, undereat, sleep to much, sleep not enough.

For almost eery symptom there is an opposite that is just as true. Your lack of interest is another indication that something may be amiss.

I don't know you and am new to this discussion group but have had depression and sometime it pops its ugly head now and again. Medication and therapy have helped but it sure is hard work.'

No matter what you are the one that decides what is right for you. If you trust your doctor and feel you meet some of the symptons don't be afraid. When you come out on the other side of the darkness you really will feel better and will enjoy life again. Your child will feel the difference. She can sense that something is wrong even if she can't put words to it. Children are really smart.

So are you. You'r asking the right questions. If you have any trusted friends or family members you feel you can questions of talk to them. See if they have noticed a difference, let them help you.

There are so many people here to support you during your down and up times. They are sincere and so am I. Just call on us.

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You got to remember just like you take care of the family you got to take care of yourself too. I had that problem always putting everybody before me. But when your down sick or something everything falls apart. Im sorry your experiencing being depressed, Im there with you long distance with hope and prayers that you will be just fine. Do work or the diabetes we all want to stay as well as can be, to be around here for a long time to come. So remember it's only one you and your worth it!!!

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BLC, no one was more surprised when the psych told me I was clinically depressed, I just thought I was having a mini meltdown. Lots of things happened with-in a 4 month period and finally caught up with me. He put me on Citalopram and within 3 weeks I started to feel like my old self. I have been on short-term disability since 10/5 and will go back to work 11/17 unless something major happens. I have been seeing a therapist (social worker who cannot prescribe meds) who has helped a great deal and the psych couldn't believe the difference in me in the month since he last saw me. I was proactive. That first day of the meltdown I went to therapy (saw the psych 2 days later), and have been working at having more positive thoughts instead of worrying about EVERYTHING. Used to call myself the "designated worrier" (like DH in baseball). It is something like Roger said, and I think I can adapt his "lists" to my situations of self-esteem" and assertiveness, especially in regards to work. My husband was also put on Citalopram and he started to notice the difference after his 6th pill! Take heart, give yourself permission to feel better and know your extended family is here for you! Hugs

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i know how you feel i guess i am depressed too. in february i lost my job and my father then i was diagnosed with diabetes. to make matters worse my ( then) primary care dr., sent me to a surgeon who said i need a total hip replacement- then the first dr found a problem with my heart. since then i've lost my insurance and can't pay for the meds i need i make too much to on unemployment to qualifiy for the states medical plan. like you i try and keep busy so my mind doesn't think i don't sleep much now but i sure am back to my normal (unhealthy) eating habits. it's a struggle to get by. my friends are all former coworkers and i have no significant other so it's rough but everytime i fail i just pick myself back up hang in there and God bless

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