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Type 1

Diabetic Connect Member mbeauprey

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17 year old daughter..

by mbeauprey
October 23, 2009 9:48 PM
15 Replies
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How can I get through to my daughter how important it is to care for your diabetes..


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Diabetic Connect Member Harlen
Harlen
Harlen replied October 23, 2009 10:36 PM 

Realy you cant.
But you cant take her to see dialysis pationts and see what happens to them that do not take care or ask her if she likes her feet where they are you can lose them ask if she likes ti see for the eyes can go as part of not taking care of it.tell her of the pain in the feet that has no obvious cause.These are the some of the things that she can look forwerd too.
When we are yung we feal that nothing can do use any harm this needs to be shown as not true
I wish you the best
Good luck

Diabetic Connect Member alanbossman
alanbossman
alanbossman replied October 23, 2009 10:44 PM 

You could reminder her that by not taking care of her diabetes. That high bs counts can lead to your feet being amputated,go blind, have a heart attack, damage your kidneys. If this does not work, I dont know what will

Diabetic Connect Member BLC
BLC
BLC replied October 23, 2009 11:13 PM 

How high are her sugars running?

Diabetic Connect Member ptsparkle
ptsparkle
ptsparkle replied October 24, 2009 2:07 AM 

I agree with the previous three. Also, patience and long sufferi8ng. If there is a V.A. hospital, take her there for a tour of some amputees, diabetic or not.
Does anyone know of a support for teens?


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Anonymous replied October 24, 2009 2:26 AM 

I haven't seen scare tactics motivate too many adults to make positive changes to care for themselves so I can't imagine why it would work with a teen ager whose developmental task is to rebel to begin with. I personally would try to find a resource of a supportive adult for your daughter to talk to who she respects and who won't lecture her but will help her explore what stands in her way of taking care of herself...does her self image need some boosting? does she need ways to fit in with her peers (who probably don't have diabetes)? Is she struggling with depression or fear? In short I'd try listening to her - directly if she would talk to me or indirectly by using that supportive adult if she would be more comfortable talking to a third party...Take care and my best wishes for you and your daughter.

BLC replied October 24, 2009 2:33 AM 

I agree

Diabetic Connect Member kdroberts
kdroberts
kdroberts replied October 24, 2009 2:42 AM 

Last edited 28 days ago

You need to get her around others in her situation. Check out you local diabetes associations to see what they have, summer camps, get togethers, that kind of thing, you wont really get anywhere with scare tactics or 'tough love.' It's very different for a kid with diabetes and adults really can't relate, although some may be able to if they were diagnosed young enough and are still relatively young.

It's a hard position to be in and I don't envy you but the more you can inform her (without being pushy) and support her the more she will want to take control of things.

hbkunkel replied October 24, 2009 11:18 AM 

I agree. Check with your doctor to see if there are any teen age support groups around for her to go to. If not, check to see if there are any diabetic camps around that run programs during the school year to help her out. I can understand your frustration. Good luck.

GiGiB replied 3 days ago 

I agree. I remember at the age of 12 going to a 2 week diabetic camp. It was great to meet other kids who had to do the same stuff I had to. I have learned the hard way - after 37 years of having type 1 (I went thru my rebellious state in my late teens)and almost going blind. I am now at the point where I dont care who know I am diabetic. The American Diabetes Association has a lot of events and I suggest you email them and ask about teen support groups.

I hope we all helped!
GiGi

Diabetic Connect Member imsuzie2
imsuzie2
imsuzie2 replied October 24, 2009 9:57 AM 

KD beat me to it. Try to find teen support groups in the area. Might find something on dLife.com for that. Their TV show dLife on Sundays on CNBC sometimes show kid and teen support groups talking. Good luck. S2

Diabetic Connect Member kristyns way
kristyns way
kristyns way replied October 28, 2009 3:13 PM 

To 17 yr old daughter..i dont know if yr daughter is type 1 or 2... and thats personal.. i can tell you i definitly side with you that its hard for young adults to try and stay positive and focused.. my daughter was diagnosed at age 7/12 yrs old... she is now 16yrs.. she still!! does care or want to give it some thought at the harm it can do if she doesnt help herself..ive gotten drastic over the years ( within age appropietness) to inform her of the important things she needs to do ... at times being forcefull... seems like my daughter could have used freinds with the same desiese .. to talk and share things with... i dont know if your daughter has this other than dad or others ... seems with mom... that speech has withered along the years... ( i need new ammo) i believe there are things said just right and by some one these two girls? that can trigger some aknowledgement that this could? be seriouse ... i hope we can share ( if youd like ) some possitive reinforcement ..you or i can think of ... thank you.... kristyns way

Diabetic Connect Member John Crowley
John Crowley
John Crowley replied October 28, 2009 3:57 PM 

I do agree that scare tactics probably aren't the way to go. I also have learned that even teenage patients with pretty good control will struggle at times. My son has been busier than ever to begin his senior year. It took a big jump in his A1C to get his attention and help him realize that he needed to put more effort into diabetes.

I know one concept that has helped us with our son has been making sure he doesn't feel like his blood sugar number is somehow a measurement of whether or not he's a good kid. If he runs high or low, we're careful not to ask questions like "How could YOU let this happen?" or "What's wrong with YOU?"

We try to ask questions like, "Do you know what could have caused you to be high?" or "What could we do to make sure we handle a day like today better next time?"

The point is to use the blood sugar numbers as a way to learn and keep improving. Even though my son is very mature and self-sufficient, we try to let him know all the time that we're in this together.

Reassure your daughter that the reason you're so concerned is that you want her to be able to achieve anything she wants to achieve in the future. Acknowledge that diabetes is a royal pain in the butt. But the pain today is worth it to keep all her options open in the future. I know when our doctor let my son know that the doctor has the power to take away his driver's license, that was a fine example of losing opportunities in the future :-).

Diabetic Connect Member LAVON
LAVON
LAVON replied November 4, 2009 4:18 AM 

I UNDERSTAND , IT TRUELY IS HARD TO BE BLUNT TO THE POINT TO YOUR VERY OWN .IT IS NOT LIKE PUNISHING THEM FOR TALKING BACK.OR PUTTING THEM ON RESTRICTION FOR SOMETHING THEY DO WRONG . THIS IS THERE LIFE ONE AND ONLY ONE THEY HAVE . I HAVE A 14 YR OLD WITH TYPE 1 DIAGNOSED AT AGE 10 IT HAS BEEN CHALLENGING . I WISH YOU THE BEST I WILL BE IN TOUCH REALLY SOON .GOD BLESS YOU

Diabetic Connect Member Sally Thomas
Sally Thomas
Sally Thomas replied November 11, 2009 7:26 PM 

Having "been there done that" I can understand your feeling of frustration. When I say been there done that I mean I was a rebellious 17 year old who couldn't care less about what I was "supposed" to do. I fully agree with everyone that has said to find support for her. I really benefited from diabetic camp-I wasn't the odd one there. We were all the same. I was really blessed with having a diabetic educator who reached out to me and helped me along the way as well. If she and I hadn't clicked, there's no telling how much trouble I would have gotten into. I wish you the best of luck. And I know this sounds not very promising at this point, but sooner or later she will come around. Once again, good luck!

Diabetic Connect Member Sue Turner
Sue Turner
Sue Turner replied 4 days ago 

Last edited 4 days ago

I feel for you; looks like you have your hands full, and I know that you are very worried; that is your child. I wish I had some good advice for you; I know how teenagers can be, and they think that they have all the answers, and that they are indespensable. I don't think the scare tactics would work, I don't know, it depends on the individual and their personality. I know it would scare me to death.

I was just diagnosed a yr., and 1/2 ago at the age of 61 with type 1 diabetes, and I have grown children, in their 40s, and they think that mom is same as always. They really don't, at their age, realize the seriousness of this disease. If I say I can't do this or that, or eat this or that, they shrug it off and give me a look like I am just being rediculous.

Believe me, when I was first diagnosed, I was terrified. I still have my moments of being terrified even when I know that I am doing the best that I know how to do.

All I can say is try your best to educate her, find some support groups for teens, and hopefully she will get the message regarding the importance of taking proper care of herself.

Good luck, Sue T.