Frustration

I see how things are going here. I got into a deep funk last night. (yes I grew up in the 70s) Check am I cursed. I needed to vent. Maybe a boot in the ***. I have had so many things go wrong that has made me mentally unbalanced. I only have this group to turn to for help. Family and friends are stand-offish. They think if they ignore the whole health trouble it won't hurt anyone. But sometimes we need someone to vent too.
Please don't do anything to harm yourself. You and all of us at DC are a one of akind. Unique and special.
God has plans for us. We don't always know what it is, but it is necessary.
Enough soap box. have a wonderful weekend.
Guardian stone

I can't really say I know how you feel but I've been just diagnosed with Diabetes and not knowing which kind yet, when I found out I wasn't all the concerned because I wasn't aware of what the consequences were till it finally hit me. I am only 29 years old and don't know how I will continue to live my life and how it will affect my partner but after many hours of feeling sorry for myself I've decided that I will beat this diaease, I will change my life style and exercise a lot so that I can control this. You have family and friends who care a lot about you and you should let them down or have them worried.

I can only imagine how you must feel.Frustation is a perfect description. Do you have another app. with the endochronologist?Are you eating many carbs,sweets? They can really elevate your bs levels.Depending on your weight,you may be insulant resistant. Just a few thoughts. Wish you and yours the very best. Keep in touch with us and bring us up to date on your progress. Till next time,Pete

Thank you all for your helpful input. The change that the endocrinologist up in Denver is actually working fairly well in keeping my bs in check (it's basically been hovering mostly in the upper 100's, which is amazing for me); I even had one reading of 96 - I had to retake it to see if it was really right (lol). Unfortunately though, my pain issues are getting worse and worse and so are my sleep disorders; besides having sleep apnea and narcolepsy, I'm a chronic insomniac and have gotten about 5 hours of sleep in the last 96 hours. I also haven't been able to find any recourse to help with the almost $300.00 that I have to pay for my meds every month. Both of these things have effected my depression immensely and I'm struggling to find a reason to "keep on keeping on." I made a stupid remark in Facebook yesterday that I thought everyone would better better off if I just dropped dead, including myself. Both my kids read it and were very upset (and I had turned off my phone and computer because I didn't want to talk to anyone, so they had to go through the night wondering if I was going to try to end my life. It's very unfair of me to do that to them (or to anyone else). Sooooooooo, I'm here, I'm alive and I'm struggling - that's about it - guess I just have to keep reminding myself that nothing lasts forever.

Paula

Oh and the donut hole issue, my mother comes into that in October every year, we get her printout of her out of pocket costs and send it in to the drug companies that have patient programs and can get about half of her meds covered until Dec 31st. Plus she hits her doc up for samples. She has medicare D but being in the donut hole makes a difference in getting the help.

If your BGL is staying that high I wonder if you are insulin resistant as well. Maybe trying to improve insulin sensitivity would help with that. getting your BGL in more normal numbers would probably help alleviate some of the other issues.

I have found Alpha Lipoic Acid to be helpful with dealing with nueropathy. I still have some numbness between my toes and on the pads but the shooting pains and tingling is long gone. I'm taking 600mg daily and am thinking of upping it to 1200, I have heard from others who take as much as 1800mg daily.

One of the things I have noticed in the last 6 months is that I don't have the joint pain I had before, prior to dx with diabetes I had thought it was arthritis setting in but the joint pain has abated considerably.

I'm taking a number of vitamins and supplements and it seems to make a difference for me but your mileage may vary. YMMV

You've got a full plate of issues, I hope you can find the help and support you need here, lots of good folks on this site.

Hi Paula,

Illness is challenging to say the least! The one thing that coming to this site can provide for you is compassionate connections with others who are experiencing, or who have experienced devastating experiences with complex diagnoses along with having to deal with diabetes. Sometimes hanging out with others who 'know' through experience what it is like to go through what you are going though can give us a degree of encouragement, and sometimes, even inspiration to hang in there and do the tedious steps toward healing. Our level of health determines the quality of life we are able to manage/ maintain… of course it matters when we can't figure out what is making us sick. Unfortunately age is not a factor in whether or not we get ill. The sad reality is that life is not fair, and young people get sick as well as old… and in some cases, old people are in better health than some younger persons… what we want to achieve is our optimum potential at any age, for being well. The word dis-ease means not at ease… your body is desperately trying to find homeostasis… There may be a central theme that is going on which if found out, might help restore balance… I know in my case, I was living with an undiagnosed case of Lyme disease for over a year, and was so ill and constantly getting worse without a clue as to why… I did so many things right, followed the right regimens etc… Until that factor was found, everything was worse… I have sleep apnea, fibromyalgia, neuropathy, ashma, arthritis, and diabetes. I serverely fractured my back in a bicycle injury about the same time I got Lyme disease,and prior to all this I was nearly killed in a terribel car crash that was followed by five consecutive suregeries… along with an emergency apendectomy. The combination of so many things just kept me ill… I suffered depression for a period of time, and I know what it feels like to just want to stop the pain… while I was recovering from Lyme disease,I had a kidney infections, as well as two months of pneumonia…Life happens while we are making other plans… We can fret and wear our selves out with frustration, or we can find others who are compassionate and sympathetic to our pain… and if we are lucky, we will meet those who have a sense of humor and they will make us laugh about the obsurdity of this chaos, and stimulate us to look for our best interests, even while we continue to hurt… There is an old Albanian proverb that says, " If you're late, don't hurry, you're all ready late." Why not turn that into.. If you are suffering, don't add to it, you are already suffering… there are lots of things we can do to soften the blow… listening to soothing music was something I chose to do on the days I could not move without pain… It really did help me move out of the serverity a lot sooner… Sometimes I would light a beaufiful candle and spend some time remembering the things I felt grateful about… there were times I would allow myself to be angry, and intensity the pain until I could cry it out… releasing pent up emotion around disappointments… Sometimes I accepted gentleness from a treasured friend. there are so many choices we have to make in life… Sometimes it is good to be interupted so we can refocus our direction… That is what pain is… an interuption… it forces us to redirect our attention… when we listen to it… really listen to it and ask it what is it that it is trying to tell us… we find out things we might have been in such a hurry about before… I know I did… I hated the interuption that pain brought to my life… but I love what it taught me about my personal truth… It is never the same for everyone… so your challenge is to discover what your life wants to express… When we embrace our challenges instead of resisting them… we get there sooner… Perhaps you can begin by taking as good care of you as posible, and give yourself deep sympathy and compassion, cry when it hurts, but don't be mad at pain… comfort it… comfort it every chance you get… feed yourself well… with gentleness and kindness… one thing that I have learned through my trials absolutely is that my body responds to kindness… from others and in self-care too… Best wishes to you Paula for comfort in this challenging place in your life journey… take care…

I feal for you. I know how you feal ben there done that.Your Doc may be right.onece I got my Bs under contole a lot of the things that where happening to me stoped being as big a problem for me.And I was able to cut my meds down a lot Hang in there life is good and it will get better.Eating right helped me a lot too.We all get to fealing overwelmed from time to time we are here for you
with all my hart I wish you the best
Harlen

Thank you for your support Harlen. I really appreciate it. I've been hurt pretty badly by an online "friend," so I'm extremely cautious about who I share my e-mail address with. I would need to get to know you a lot better before I could share that. However, I'm more than willing to connect with each other and others in the same boat through this discussioon group.

Again, thank you for your kind words.

RoseAngel (Paula)