Now is when you have to get your chin up. You are a burden only if you think so. Many of us have incurable life threatening and shortening diseases. You can't let it take you down. This board is a listening device to help you talk it out. Good luck, you deserve it.

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Isn't it awful that one day can make some things seem so much worse than others. I was in your shoes last year. At my 30th birthday party I was so miserable I didn't even care if I made it to the next one. I had been to the doctor that day as it was the only time I could get in. It was awful. Felt like a house of cards was collapsing around me. After an emergency therapy session with the psychologist I got to feeling a little better. Even today I have some severe bouts of depression. I sometimes can't accept that at my Age I am totally dependent on others and that the life I was planning is over. I have to start each day with the reminder that it could be soooo much worse. PLEASE remember that each life is precious and has a purpose. It may seem a rough road and happiness totally unreachable but believe me there are good days ahead. You are obviously looking for help and that is the right direction to be heading. I pray that you find some strength and purpose in the journey ahead. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that the days ahead are less stressful. One thing that I would suggest is getting in contact with some type of support group or even just someone to talk to. Sharing your burdens with someone else will ease your anxiety and hopefully provide hope for a better future. GOD BLESS...Keep moving forward as it's the only thing you can do to get back on track.

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I am in pain 24/7, unable to care for myself and rely on home health care services to help me care for myself. I have tried to take my own life in the past and it isn't worth it. I'm glad to still be here mainly for my kids sake. From now on when I ever get that urge to end the pain, you need to think of how it would cause pain to those in your life. This is what keeps you going. No matter how bad the pain gets at times you need to hang on for family and/or freinds in case there is a cure some day. As new things are comming out all the time. just hang in there and think of more of what it would do to others, family and freinds if you don't. Take Care, David

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Last edited 7 months ago

I feel this way occasionaly it will pass. concentrate on things you can control and make a goal to work towards.

i am currently mentoring a freinds son who is going through tough times. it helps me get through mine.

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I have never wanted to give up on life but I have given up on diabetes before. I have a leg condition that could very well cost me my leg if things don't change, I am going blind in 1 eye slowly but surely and being an out of control diabetic sucks because now that I decided to take care of it again nothing is working yet and it just makes it worse.
My 7 year old daughter keeps me going though. In September of 08 she was diagnosed with Hypothyroid Disease after gaining 56 lbs in 4 months time. She was put on a medication that took the place of her failing Thyroid and she will be on that the rest of her life....another 70 years give or take.....in November she started showing signs of having diabetes and sure enough February 6th 09 she was diagnosed as a T2 leading to T1, or, Double Diabetic, she was put on a strict diet, everything had to be counted she had to learn to check her own blood sugars as directed by her Endo and take more medication on top of the Thyroid medication....oh I forgot, before the Thyroid condition she was diagnosed with severe allergies and was taking 2 pills a day for that.....at the end of February she was again hospitalized for more tests, they diagnosed her a couple different times with different conditions and then came to a final decision that she has Addison's Disease...this effects the adrenal glands that sit on the kidney's.....more medication.
As of today at just 7 1/2 yrs old, she takes 21 pills per day to control all of her conditions, she gets up every morning, takes her own fasting blood glucose tests, knows which pills are to be taken before meals, during meals and after meals and goes to school and is a straight A student who not only deals with all of her medical conditions but, she's lost nearly 14lbs since Feb. 6th, doesn't complain but on occasion about the junk food and sweets she can't have like "normal" kids, and even managed to take 3rd place in the school spelling bee just 1 1/2 days after being released from the hospital. She was involved in the school dance team right up through the final recital, she is active in 4-H having her own animals to feed and take care of on a daily basis....and I'm talking 2 birds, 2 guinea pigs, 10 rabbits and a shared job of taking care of 32 pigs...daily, school or no school.
Now, you may wonder why I brag on my daughter like this, well, because I can, simply put....and to show others that if a 7 (and 1/2) year old can "deal" with a boat load of serious medical conditions then we as adults have no right to pity ourselves, and please don't get me wrong I've done it myself...the whole "why me Lord" depressed feelings and the wanting to give up.
Some say my daughter was put on this earth to lead by example and well, I know for me she does exactly that.
I am sorry that you are going through so much and that the doctor's report today wasn't the greatest in the world, but, as I learned to do, try to remember that no matter how bad it is for you, there is always someone worse off out there....some of them may even be members of this site. But if you choose to give up on life then it can never get any better, you have to want to live and you have to have the willpower to fight the diseases and illnesses that plague your life and prove that you can overcome, or at the least manage them. Just my advice and opinions and I am by no means trying to make you feel worse than you already do, but, a little tough love never killed anyone.

Hugs & Much Luv,
~Robin

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First of all happy Birthday,We all have days that are bad so you are not alone,You have to look for the good in the bad.by this I meanthat no matter what goes wrong there is a good that comes from it like when my son got my only car impounded and lost it to the state of Calif.that was the bad now the good part was I had to start walking every where and I lost 30LBSand I can even run now so you can see how it all works out in the end things do get BETTER keep your chin up and open your eye's and you'll find what you need around you good luck. James

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Last edited 7 months ago

It is heartbreaking to hear your comments. Life can definitely be cruel at times - and often it seems that the problems, pain and frustration will just never get better, much less go away. At some point in our lives, we all go through varying degrees of sadness, helplessness and hopelessness.

As you are on this site more, you will see some who are dealing with monumental health, financial and relational issues. I've experienced that in the past as well, and I just thought at times I would never be happy and at peace again. But here I am feeling so very blessed, even though my life is not perfect by any means. Compared to many others on this site and with whom I come in contact through my volunteer work, my problems are so small.

Medical expenses can certainly drain you. I watched a once very wealthy family member lose everything because of medical issues and the expenses she faced over the years. In today's economy, we see more and more people without jobs, therefore without health insurance....just struggling to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads, much less take care of their health issues.

I pray that you are able to take advantage of counseling, because you really do need that help, it seems. It is also my hope that you have a relationship with the Lord, as that is the thing on which I rely to keep me sane and able to keep on keepin' on. I believe in the power of prayer, and I believe in the wonder of God's love and the fact that He can and does work miracles. Don't give up. Allow your friends,relatives,clergy and doctors to know you need help in getting through all of this. Allow them to comfort and encourage you. There's no shame in needing help, you know. We all do at times. The shame would be to give up.

None of us can see into the future or know what tomorrow may bring, so just keep remembering that each day holds new opportunities and new possibilities. This may be the month or the year when your problems begin to improve. Medicine is moving forward at such a rapid pace that I don't think you should accept the fact that any health issue is beyond help. New improvement and discoveries are always in the pipeline, and who knows when you will benefit from some new discovery or innovation.

I'm sure there are people in your life that love you very much and would be devastated if you harmed yourself. Please get help, and please know that even those of us who are "strangers" care very much about your happiness and well being. I will be praying for you. Keep letting us know how you are doing. It's good to talk with others about what you're experiencing. And as much as we hate to see others suffer, it somehow helps to know that there are others who are experiencing multiple hardships in their lives, just as we are.

God bless you! I expect to see a post from you every day, so don't let me down!

Oh, and Happy Birthday!

Diane

P.S. Sorry about the length of this post. I usually dislike such long, wordy posts. But your words really touched me, and I just felt the need to speak to you.

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Happy Birthday first off, btw...you share my 16yr old now sons' b-day. I knew I had to write one to say a little something, two well I just this am have gone thru the same exact thing. I contimplated overdosing with my and Ty's pills...and there's a lot. Anyhow what hold me back though I wanted to share was thinking of the ones you love...my first thoughts of course our my children and what I would do to them. I just don't think I could go there again. There may be someone in your life you may not want to put that kind of thing thru right? I know times are hard, oh believe me...but those moments are what make us stronger I think, at try to think, lol. Good luck to you, and I do hope to hear from you soon...or IF you have to check into a hospital...you may not want to go to that level, I never did but I have gone numerous times now and there are those weridos yup, lol BUT there are the everyday people just struggling...give it a try IF you feel that need...good luck..Love Sheila

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sorry, btw ya all Thank You, I needed a little reminder myself, pick-me-up kind of thing...its what helped my day, for real! Love ya all, Sheila

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Hello,
Please remember that you are a precious and sacred creation of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. There is noone that has ever filled his soul the way that only you can...
Count your blessings.... Keep in thought all of the beautiful things that are in this world. Being with you is a priviledge because you are made in the Lord's image...
Ask for the guidance of Angel's... you cannot ask for it without recieving it.... Ask for the comfort of the Holy Spirit... he will come to you and hold and caress you throughout this process.. your lonliness with be filled with peace.
There is a lot of love in this world. It is even strong within yourself. Treat yourself like you were your little sister... love you
Your Friend, Leigh

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Years ago I had a good friend who had survived the Holocaust. I didn't know this about him when I first met him. His name was Joseph and he was in his seventies when I met him. He was a truly beautiful person who was so filled with compassion that it amazed me. He was so caring, even toward people who were mean to him. I was about thirty years old then and was operating my first business. I was so fortunate that he took me under his wing and mentored me in meaningful ways. One day I asked him, " Joseph, why are you so kind to people who treat you like dirt?". His eyes so full of infinite wisdom gazed back at me and several moments passed before he spoke, then he told me his story. I wept in hearing it. His story changed my life. It changed the way I saw pain for ever... In telling me his story he wove the threads like the master he was and he showed me that when people are cruel for any reason, or join with others in projecting cruelty, they are the ones lost to fear. Fear is a terrible jailer. people who are locked behind invisible bars of superiority are the real prisoners of hate. He told me, that as long as you kept love in your heart, you are free of anyone's projections of shame. He explained that the admonition that Christ made to love ones enemies was not for the benefit of the enemy, it was to keep their hate from destroying your capacity for love. I was so blessed to have such a fine friend at a time when I was so impressionable and on a mission to 'save the world'. His words cured me of that. His friendship lingers with me today although he has been gone now for many years. The signature we leave in how we choose to live our lives matters... His mattered to me. Because of him, when I am around people who are hurtful and insensitive to others I see the blanket of fear they wrap themselves in. then I look for the real person underneath that blanket. Sometimes I find them, something I don't... but I refuse to go under that blanket with them... Joseph told me that trying to rip that blanket off them is deadly business... but if you will ask them why they need to hurt you with the things they do and say to you, maybe they will think about it. It's okay to tell them they are hurting you, You can ask them to stop. If they won't stop. You have to consider your choices available in self-care, but more pain, even inflicted on yourself is not the answer...Stop the pain by not participating in the patterns that perpetuate it. When Joseph died, his funeral was packed with hundreds of people, some of them were people who had treated him with less respect than he deserved while he was alive... but he changed them. I saw by the expressions on their faces that his model of kindness changed them on a very deep level...He was truly loved because he truly loved.... His kindness lives in my heart today... Some people are simply miracles, how they deal with the level of injustice and remain centered in their heart amazes me no end. I want so much to leave the world a better place than I found it... and remain open to the miracle of friendship... I won't say that I have never wanted to end it... I think pain can make any of us consider it... but working through our lessons and finding our core essence is so beautiful is like mining for gold in dense rock mass... and that is what pain is in my opinion... dense rock mass that hold threads of gold, waiting to be mined... work it baby... find your gold... hugs, j

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I am so sorry that you feel this way but know you are not alone. My daughter at 18 was diagnosed with thyroid problems, diabetes and Addison's disease. She sometimes seems as if she has given up, but her family, especially Mom will not let her. We have to remind her how much she is loved and how sad we would be if she were not here with us. Oh, yeah she also has a 2 year old who keeps her busy and an estranged husband who has tried to take care of her, but for reasons beyond control, he is no longer there..So she does not need the extra worry..because of Addison's, her body does not make cortisol, so she takes pills for this and the thyroid, and insulin shots, many a day. Lost count on how many times she has been in the hospital in the last 4 years. So, hon you definitely are not alone. Just remember there is always someone worst off than we are. I know it is hard but keep the faith, as hard as it may be...prayer does work...and I will definitely pray for you and All of the people who are at this site. Best wishes and much love....Kathy

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Last edited 7 months ago

all i can say is that i'm sorry for the problems you have, really i am. but look at the bright side, your alive and still here and you have friends here also, we are all in the same boat with health problems and we learn to deal with them all. with me i always look at the bright side of everything, that i'm still alive and kicking. i know it's late but happy belated birthday to you.

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