Your Thoughts on This Family

if they were given real treatment such as counselling, wholistic therapy and were thought how to look after themselves in a more healthier benefical way then the goverment woulnt wouldnt be funding for thier bad lifestyle choices which is keeping this family in the rut that they are in! It all begins with education and awareness! Money doesnt solve everything!

That is the approach we would like to think works, but sadly it does not for everyone. Some simply refuse to be educated or to change their lifestyles. They're set in their ways and have accepted the way they exist. I see people on a weekly basis who are like that. They have no desire or incentive to do better for themselves. Sad, but true.

Its like that saying!!

Give a man a fish and hell feed for a day;

teach a man ti fish and hell eat for a life time!!

or this family could use a good aul traditional kick up the arse to get them movin!! i know thats what i need!!

roshy, I've enjoyed your contributions often… your witty humor and caring words have often touched my heart… I can't imagine you ever needing a kick in the arse… I think you are a person motivated with hugs and kind words… You have my admiration… and respect… hugs, Jocelyn

thank you!! that means alot to me x x

hugs and kisses

you sweet thang!

I have appreciated reading through the comments on this topic. I think it is always good to bring our assumptions up for discussion. We are fortunate on this site to have a compassionate foundation for positive communication about the many levels of understanding that we move through in our developmental growth toward improving our quality of health. Sharing opinions can be an amazing spring board for discussions that clarify and inspire. We have have passionate triggers, and it flavors our relationships with the beautiful dramas of our varied personalities. Like a great big garden of joy… As research continues the obvious is finally justified…but it seems our beliefs, values and assumptions are formed by our collective experiences. I'm so happy to read a passionate response on a topic, even if it isn't fully revealed in the beginning. The really good ones, like this one happens because the originator is wide open for a discussion… I don't know enough about the people in the report, but their story certainly resonates with the International topic on 'FAT'. I didn't get fat until after I was seriously injured. It turns out that the shock to my system shut down my natural ability to function with a normal metabolism. My life was interrupted. I had excellent medical coverage. I was considered affluent, and with all the so called advantages, I still lost control of my life, so to speak. I was caught in a downward spiral. My body had always been my strength, my only sure thing… when I lost that… well, the journey was like the dark night of the soul for me… Still there were periods of my recovery where I didn't really care about anything. Cycles of recovery I guess you'd have to call it. No one can be up all the time. So weather it was chance or choice that I've come through is a mystery to me, but I have and I can't take all the credit. So many people along my path, even the mean ones contributed energy to my journey… The means one sometimes made me mad enough to get going again… and the kind ones blessed me when I needed a cushion more than chiding, I guess the point I would like to contribute to this exciting discussion is that we are human. We are all in this together, and we can help but have opinions about how each other choose to live. That has to be because we care… Life is not fair on the surface of things… but it is just… it is just what it is… and whether we know it or not, even our complaints are usually anchored in fear or caring. People who act maliciously are the scared ones. When I run up against them. I usually asked them questions. I ask them if they are afraid of becoming like 'that' or if someone made fun of them at some point in time and maybe they want to " get even' , but I ask them to be accountable. Once when a group of people in a restaurant was making fun of my niece who has cerebral palsy. I wheeled her chair over to their table and introduced her. I told them who she was and what had happened to her. I told them that she was intelligent and that they had hurt her feelings with what they were saying about her in her ear shot. I told them I was glad that they weren't delivered into life by a drunk doctor who was in a hurry to go to his golf game… The most amazing thing happened. They each got up and gave Katie a hug. They spoke to her kindly and told her how sorry they were about what had happened to them. And when Katie said in her labored speech that she liked them now. I saw tears on their faces. I have noticed that mean people need evidence of compassion the most. But some of them are resistance to it and I kick their butt too… I'd like to recommend a book. The tittle is The Power by Sue Ellin Browder. She talks about eleven ways women gain weight. medication weight is just one of them. I'll jump over to the book section to make a formal recommendation of this book. I love you guys… take care… Jocelyn

I've noticed in other discussions how beautifully you express yourself, and this is another sample. There is so much truth in what you write, and so much warmth and understanding.

There certainly are many reasons/causes for weight gain, as there are with the other end of the spectrum - extreme weight loss. We do need to keep this in mind as we observe those around us. It is never acceptable to be unkind to those people. More than most, they need and deserve our caring and support.

While I do feel that those who can should make an effort to improve their health, I realize that there are other factors that are part of the problem -such as lack of health insurance, financial difficulties, etc., and that just points out once again how desparately we need health reform as soon as possible.

As the originator of this discussion, I appreciate too the sensitivity all of you have exhibited and the mature manner in which the topic has been discussed. The discussion was never intended to be insensitive or hurtful to anyone who is overweight.

LadyDi, your are bright and beautiful in your enthusiastic contributions… I love reading your contributions too, and the many others who contribute to the company we so lovingly share… I'd like to share with you that learning to express myself did not come easily for me. Out of fright for getting up in front of a group, I cried and wet my pants in front of my fifth grade class when trying to give a current event assignment. The kids laughed and ridiculed me.I had to go home out of shame. It was so hard to go back to class again. I didn't speak in front of a class again until I reached the seventh grade. At that time I was blessed with the kindness of a brilliant teacher who touched my life/my heart and changed the direction of my destiny. My speech class was required or I never would have taken it. We had three months for the term and in that period of time we had to write and hand in our in class assignments, but we had to choose three of them to deliver in front of the class before it ended if we were to pass. The last week of the class arrived and I had not delivered even one of my assignments. My teacher called me up after class the first day of that last week and asked me which of my three assignments would I be using. I told her none of them. She said… it's required in order to pass the class, and you have a strong B. If you finish you assignment you'll have earned an A. I said I'd rather get an F than stand in front of the class. I can't do it. She said calmly, we can talk about this tomorrow. Please consider your choice tonight. The next day she called me up after class again and asked me which of the three would I be doing. she said that I could do them all at the same time, and they could be the really short ones… Then she asked gently, May I ask you what happened that makes you so unwilling to stand in front of the class? Reluctantly I told her what had happened in fifth grade. She looked at me with the most compassion I had ever experienced from anyone in my life and she said. That was just wrong… That teacher failed you. I will not fail you. Then she said. Go home darling, and decide which of the three you want to use. I felt stunned… had she not heard me? I told her. I just can't do it.. I am so sorry… She said. We can talk about it tomorrow. Sure enough the next day came and again she asked me to stay after the class. She had a big smile on her face and she said. " I have solved OUR problem. You don't have to stand in front or this class and I have chosen just one of your beautiful speeches for you to deliver tomorrow. You can deliver it at the Speech Contest on Campus… I've already entered your name. And the best part is I'll be right there with you. I was horrified. I couldn't move… Me stand in front of the entire school and give a speech.??? This isn't happening I thought! I'm having a nightmare… I'll wake up. I have to wake up… But it was real, and she was standing there smiling at me as it it was the most delightful event instead of the horror it was…I just couldn't..I would not do it… Then she hugged me and said. so softly, " I BELIEVE IN YOU> I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT> I will not leave you alone. I will not fail you… I was in a daze. I walked home and felt determined not to go to school the next day. When morning came and it was time to go to school I felt faint and scared, but all I could think was She believes in me and she said she would not fail me… So I forced my frail body to move and I showed up at the auditorium with my three line speech in hand on time. I had tears in my eyes and she hugged me tightly and said, I knew you wouldn't fail me. I am so proud of you. Then, there behind the stage curtain, my name was the first to be called. I couldn't move.. She gently gave me a push through the curtain and I stumbled onto stage and somehow made it to the podium. Without looking up, I raced through those impossible three lines and then ran off the stage. The audience was roaring with laughter. I was crying and nearly fainted into my teacher's arms… She said. they are not laughing at your my shy violet… You made them laugh. They are laughing with you because they think you are a comedian and that you did that on purpose… When I stopped shaking, and my tears were dry… that smile on her face was bigger than ever, and the beauty of it lingers with me still today, and her words that followed remain in my heart and mind… She said… You will never be afraid to speak to anyone again in your whole life… I promise… Well that came true… I went on to earn my first degree in communication as an older than average student, while raising three little kids after a divorce. I became a popular lecturer and Presenter and gave work shops on self-worth. I developed one of the first Balancing Work and Family programs used by the State of Oregon, and I have lost count of the many people who have blessed my life through my work. I owe it all to this beautiful and insightful and totally dedicated TEACHER… Thank you for your validation. I just wanted you to know the compassion you feel in tone was planted in my heart by this woman who took the time to love me when I was a lost little girl…

I LOVE your story! Thank you so much for sharing it. I'm sure you've been a similar blessing in the lives of people you have touched over the years. Teachers have such an important role in our lives, and some, like the one who inspired and encouraged you, are more special than even they may realize. I have a number of friends who are teachers, and they are all very special people. Most are now retired, but knowing them personally and the wonderful, loving people they are now, I have no doubt they have dramatically impacted the lives of many students over the years.

Your story is an inspiration, for sure. And it shows once again that we are tougher and more capable than we think we are, but sometimes it just takes the right person to encourage us and give us that little "nudge" that we need.

On a personal level, I could not help seeing the role of Jesus in my (our) lives. When we think we cannot do something, or that we cannot make it through particular situations that come our way, Jesus is always there and always loves and believes in us.

The earth is such an amazing contridiction of terror and beauty isn't it? A magnificent classroom for soul development… I appreciate being on the receiving end of your lovely attention…Thank you, and I'll pass it forward… everyone loves positive attention… yumm, yours has touched me like the wamth of sunshine througyh a gentle breeze… freely give, freely receive… admonition from the Great Teacher… have a fun day…

People out there can really be cruel, and some without understanding that they are being so. My late husband was approached multiple times where he worked by "well intentioned" people about losing weight. One time he left his desk for 5 minutes and someone left pamphlets about weight loss on his desk.

-here is the thing. Do skiny people think that we don't know that we are fat?

-We all know what we look like and, it's just that each of us has our own situation and we have chosen to do with it as we please. We can take the medication and accept who we are "I'm fat and happy and proud of it" type of mentality or we can wallow in self missory and make our conditions worse with strees and worry that we are not fitting into what society thinks is acceptable.

-The media makes being Obese into such a big deal and everyone is so obsesed with loosing weight that there have become an awfuly lot of really ILL skinny people, because they are not managing their weight correctly either. But hey they are skinny so it's ok right?

-if the media wants to help out they need to quit making obesity a stigma.

Eating disorders are definitely a problem as well, but we have seen a lot about that in the media as well. That too is a huge problem and can even cause death, as can being overweight. Both have an effect on health costs.

The weight is not what the real issue is, but how healthy one can be at that weight - thin or overweight. Far too much emphasis has been placed on appearance over the years, causing women and girls to sacrifice their health for being thin. That's very sad. Both situations are serious and hard to overcome - require a lot of love and support and a doctor who can properly counsel them and guide them to make the needed changes.

I don't know enough about this family to comment. I do know how people are horrible and treat people who are very obese. My best friend in the world, Ron, is well over 400lbs. Before I got sick last year, he picked me up for lunch. We sat down to have lunch and this lady and her two daughters (about 17 and 19) were sitting where I could see them, but thank God, Ron couldn't. They were not small by any means, none of them. They pointed at him and poked fun at him through our entire lunch. Needless to say, my blood was boiling. Ron got up to pay the tab and I payed the 3 idiots a visit. What I didn't tell those 3 "ladies" well, I told them off in a very loud way. They just sat there and never said a word. They don't know him and I was furious somebody was that shallow. He has tried over and over to lose weight and he just can't. He has several medical conditions that prevent him from any weight loss. Under his large frame is the funniest, nicest, most caring person I've ever met. People in this society judge others way too fast. I was ticked, and will do it again in a heartbeat if I come across more idiots like those people. Angie

Good for you, Angie! There's just no excuse for that type of behavior. A lot of people will miss out on loving and loyal friends by allowing their outwardly appearance to dictate whether or not they accept them as friends. We can all stand to improve ourselves in some way. It's never easy, or we'd all be in good shape. He's so lucky to have you for a friend (and so am I)!

I just had to tell you Wow I wish I had you here on my side !!! That was a great thing you did on your friends behalf. I myself am at the highest weight I have ever been so I understand. People can be very cruel. Un fortunatly weight problems are there for all the world to see. Food is the hardest addiction to break. Its legal you can do it anywhere,you have to food shop and you have to cook and you have to eat. So if food is your addiction you really cant get away from it. Now if I was an alcoholic and was walking down the street and was not drunk at the time no one would know my problem. Do you have to go to a bar??? Do you have to go to a liquor store to live.?? Absolutley not but most people dont think about all that . I wish people would realize its an awful problem and I dont know anyone who enjoys being fat. So on behalf of all overweight people who have been made fun of I thank you so much for what you did for your friend you go girl !!!!!

much love to you

dyanne

amen sister… lucky to have loyal friends…

Thank you VERY much! You are right, I didn't even read about those people, everyone is different, not everyone cares or even tries for that matter. lol, I still can't believe I fell backwards earlier w/ my chair here, lmao I was so not awake. Now my bum hurts, ha ha

Don't ask where that came from, lol…loosing my mind here alone, well Ty is here by catching up on some rest.

Well, I may be wrong to some but I am sorry it's me and if people don't like me for who I am, not what I look like then heck w/ it THOUGH I do agree with peoples concerns for overweight people's health, etc. And I agree with not having someone just sitting around/laying around not trying to do anything about things, to change and make things better. In my case, I do weigth 398lbs! I HATE it! I am miserable yes! I am ashamed yes! But I am me, and going to work on ME= Sheila = better person! It's gpomg to happen, hell that's one reason why I am here on this site, become healthy. As far as getting this bad, I dunno, MANY medical things..thyroid, I dunno and like she said above medication can cause increase in weight, if that's the case let me leave you with this thought…I just counted to be sure, I am on 30 medications total…24 are actual medicine rather than inhalers, nasal spray. So, take your pick on medicine cause weight gain, lol Thank you all! I do hope you all don't hold my weight against me, that would hurt. Sheila

You have gone through so much (and continue to) that my heart goes out to you. But you are being proactive in trying to do something about your health. Perhaps these people are too, altho I must say it doesn't appear they are - no real effort anyway. I never hold someone's health against them, especially when I have no idea what has caused their problem or the details surrounding their current situations. I believe we all have to look at individuals for who they are inside, first and foremost.

This story just emphasizes to me an overall, staggering problem we have currently. It points out the fact that being overweight has an effect not only on the individual, but on society and the health industry as a whole.

Good luck with your continued efforts, Sheila. You appear to really be tryng, and that's all anyone can ask of you. Most important of all is that you are working on YOU - YOU will be healthier and have a better quality of life by improving yourself. Good for you, and God bless you!

the only weight I see is the one people have in there HEART,and that is all that counts

As an obese person myself I would wait to see if there were a medical reason for the weight. Personally I take a couple different meds that make it hard for me to keep the weight off. I'm 6'1" and weigh 335 -340. I don't overeat although strangers have been known to walk up to me and tell me if I cut the sweets the weight would fall off. I don't eat sweets. There might be a reason for the weight.

You bring up a good point - many medications do cause weight gain. How much probably has to do with the dosage taken and the person's own body. Thyroid problems can cause one to be overweight, and it is believed that genetics plays some part as well. Kids who have overweight parents are at least 10 times more likely to be overweight than their peers who do not have overweight parents.

However, families also share diet and lifestyle habits that may contribute to obesity. Separating genetic from other influences on obesity is often difficult. Even so, science does show a link between obesity and heredity.

In the case of this family, they are saying their weight issues are genetic. That may be true. The health problems they have are all consequences of being overweight, however.

It is terrifically hard to lose weight for most people, regardless of the situation or cause. Especially once it gets to the point of obesity. There are many ways to deal with it, however, and improvement can usually be made with the help of professionals and determination and effort on the part of the individual.

See, this is why I hate the media. Firstly, why are these people in the news to start with? Secondly, if AOL are going to Americanize the story then why can't they report the facts? The family doesn't get $43,000, they get about $31,000. Still a lot I agree but a far cry for $43,000. About $6000 of that is from the daughters, one is on unemployment but looking for a job and the other is a student hairdresser and gets money from a hardship fund for students to pay for her training. A great deal of the parents money comes from support for diabetes, epilepsy and asthma treatments. So, when you look at it without spin, $7750 per year per person on average doesn't seem too crazy. It's actually skating close to the 2009 average US poverty line for families of 4 and as people say to me all the time "it's so much more expensive in Britain than it is here."

I think they are a bunch of idiots and they could be doing a lot to help themselves for sure but it's annoying when one piece of pointless journalism gets taken and all the facts reworked to presumably forward somebodies agenda.

You are right, of course. I hesitated to even post this since I really didn't have more information to go on. Not sure where you got yours, but that's good to know. You are correct about the media. They know how to sensationalize anything to increase readership (viewership). Thanks for filling in some of the gaps for us.

http://tinyurl.com/cgryzx

Thanks, KD. Interesting. Not sure I do feel much better after reading that.

You know, I read this earlier today. My mouth dropped. I guess they have an entitilement mentality in England. They make about $43,000 a year in government subsidy and want more. Without being judgemental, All I can say is WOW. You should have seen the picture of the family. I couldnt tell who was the mother, nor the daughters. They all look old. I feel for them. Been there myself. I hope they get the help they need (and I dont mean more money).

I did see the photo. I don't begrudge anyone the help they need and deserve, believe me. After reading KD's comments below I am a little less upset, I guess. As I volunteer with a program that assists those in need and sees so many who are unable to get the help they need and should be getting, it bothers me to read stories like this. For those of us who do work hard to maintain our health and do work hard to take responsibility for ourselves, it is difficult to read things like this. If nothing else, this story emphasizes how our individual health impacts overall health costs and society as a whole.

I would hope, too, that they are getting help for their weight problems and any health issues they may be facing.