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OT I'm so stressed and scared
by sparkysmomMarch 20, 2009 2:38 AM
20 Replies
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Last edited 7 months ago
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LadyDi |
LadyDi replied March 20, 2009 5:30 AM
Last edited 7 months ago I know this must really be upsetting to you. You have so much to deal with youself that you certainly do not need this as well. Hopefully her doctor will be able to give you some guidance about what your options are. Try not to worry until you've spoken with him or someone else who knows the ins and outs of having her placed in a nursing home, if necessary. In the meantime, know that I'll be praying for all of you. Once you've seen the doctor, please give us a report. |
vgarrison |
vgarrison replied March 20, 2009 6:43 AM
I know there isn't much I can do from where I am, but I am a Home Health Aide. I deal with alot of Dementia patients in my line of work, if you need any ideas or advice let me know...I will be glad to do what I can.
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Deleted User |
Deleted User replied March 20, 2009 12:28 PM
Jackie, wow you have been hit with a lot at one time. You can only do what you can do. I'm finding out that 90% of what I worry about doesn't even happen. Just try to be positive as hard as that can be. I wish I had a magic answer, but I don't. Just know you have plenty of friend here to support you. Vent all you care to! I will be thinking about you! Hugs, Angie
Jocelyn replied March 25, 2009 12:52 AM this is so true... do you have a disability counselor? Senior centers are often good resources for getting the right information on emergency support... There is a place in this area called 'LOVE INC" that comes to help in decision making stressful times, and also pitches in while more permanent arrangements are being made... People care... let as many people know your need as you can and get your network building... love, Jocelyn |
lipsie |
lipsie replied March 20, 2009 1:00 PM
Jackie,
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BeckyJ |
BeckyJ replied March 20, 2009 3:58 PM
SOOO sorry to hear that your MIL is having a rough time of it. Also concerned about you. Hopefully the doctor will have some advice for you on the situation. Also you may want to contact the local Department on Aging in your area. They can assist you with any questions you may have and also if it is necessary for your MIL to go to a nursing home they can help you with possible funding options. Just remember that God is on your side through this and will see you through. God bless and my prayers are with you all. |
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olbeck |
olbeck replied March 20, 2009 4:28 PM
yhere is so much stress in life,i moved my mom in 2 years ago, she has started going downhill, but, i am herefor her and love her ,just take one day at a time,ask the lord for help,thats all we can do. i wish you the best of love and hope. |
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Blooter |
Blooter replied March 20, 2009 4:56 PM
First let me say I am sorry about the stress you are under. Second your MIL may be suffering from a UTI that is common in the elderly and will play havoc with their mental status. This can come on in just a matter of a very short time, but can also be taken care of quickly. Also if she is on Medicare and needs nursing home care they will cover most of the cost so please calm down, take a deep breath and know there is help. Good luck to you and your MIL |
highlandcitygirl |
highlandcitygirl replied March 20, 2009 5:39 PM
i am so sorry that you are having to deal with such a stressful situation! i pray that you will recieve comfort, peace and help at this time. i am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. |
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sparkysmom |
sparkysmom replied March 20, 2009 5:44 PM
Thanks Everyone. The Dr is sending her to get an assessment for dementia next Tuesday. I am in contact with the family and we are trying to work something out where I am not the only one having to deal with her. |
Nancye37620 |
Nancye37620 replied March 20, 2009 6:10 PM
Last edited 7 months ago I know this is a terrible time for you! Please be strong and try to focus. Don't let the added stress cause you to become ill. Added stress can be so hard for a diabetic to deal with. When you speak to her M.D. ask him to assign a Case Manager to work with you and your family to assist with all options. Most Case Managers at all Hospitals know programs available to assist in the special needs of each patient. Once you have someone to help you plan,it will be easier. There is help for you it just takes a caring professional to lead you in the right direction. If you don't find someone you trust and can work with don't hesitate to ask for a change of managers or even a second opinion if you want another M.D. opinion. It is your right to the best care for your family. Also search online for special programs for dementia patients. There are some great sites that may offer assistance also. I will keep you in my prayers.
daniel velazco replied March 20, 2009 10:00 PM Please don't get yourself all stressed out. As a lot of us know when your Diabeties gets out of control it can cause other medical conditions and lord knows we don't want that happening. Just
sparkysmom replied March 28, 2009 12:01 AM Thank You for the advice. Her dr said to wait til after we get results from a CT Scan they are doing tomorrow. My Internist said if hers couldn't help to let him know and they would try and help us. Our next DR appointment for her is on the 7th of April. |
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Frustrated mom |
Frustrated mom replied March 24, 2009 7:56 PM
I know this is not good for your stress level...In your state is there any assistance for the elderly? Maybe they could help. I know every state is different I will keep you in my prayers. I am not sure that I could take care of my MIL mentally, physically or finacially...1st thing please take care of yourself...
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sparkysmom |
sparkysmom replied March 28, 2009 12:03 AM
I just want to say how Thankful I am for all of you. Your prayers and advice will help me through this time. I Thank God for the people that put this site together and for all the wonderful people who have joined it. I will be here as I am able,
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sparkysmom |
sparkysmom replied April 6, 2009 2:19 PM
Sorry I haven't been arouind much. MIL is makiing me nuts. I'm afraid to leave house for long. Dr did CT scan and memory test. We get results tomorrow(Tuesday).
Splender replied April 6, 2009 3:45 PM Sorry to hear that you are having so much stress put on you like this. You really do need a little quality time with hubby. You also need a little time to be by yourself to re-group and get yourself together. I hope they will let or should I say keep her much longer. In fact have you thought to tell him that your doctor wants you to have less stress so your prolems especially your diabetes is too bad to have her back in the house? If you have to use your medical problems to have her family take over caring for her----there's nothing wrong with that. I would especially since your so tired and run down. If you can please let me know what happens and if you are going to see what you can do about your stress problems. If there is anyway I can help even if it's just listening to you vent I'll be happy to be there for you. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF YOU KNOW WE ALL LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOU!!!!
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Jaynie |
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I was out all day shopping and doing chores that have gone undone since I have had the flu crud stuff. Around 3 I got a call from Hubby's Aunt. She lives over on the other coast and is in a total panic. My MIL had called her 3 times today and was making absolutely no sense. Aunt called paramedics and then me. I tried calling MIL and she was totally incoherent. I rushed home. The paramedics were here when I got here. They talked to MIL and told me to call her DR and have her tested for dementia. Dr will see her tomorrow. Now I am in a total panic. I don't know what to do. I can not take care of her. I'm not using my diabetes as an excuse but I have multiple other medical problems. In our state if there is a living child that child has to pay for nursing home costs. We owe everybody now. My medical problems have put us so far in the hole I'm afraid to answer my telephone. She has lived with us for over 20 years. Her other son and DIL won't do anything to help. They had a falling out a few years ago. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm just so scared and stressed right now.