Like "It sounds to me like you are defeating yourself at every turn in the road. There is help out there and you need to talk to your health care physician ASAP. Sugar destroys your cells and your pancrease cannot keep up with the insulin it makes when you use too much. No matter how you try to control your blood sugar levels, it won't work until you get yourself out of denial and start to understand that diabetese isn't a death sentence but it can be without control. God Bless you Sir, Freddyg "