Like "You know, you can not talk to her that way! This will only make her eat more. She needs POSITIVE reinforcement from you and husband. Something is going on in her life that is making her unhappy. I'm sure stress from work and school and trying to balance that with her family life is part of the problem. I can't help but think that you and her hubby are adding more, by all the weight comments, even though you may mean well. She knows she is overweight, but hasn't hit that aha moment. You can't force someone to do what they are not ready to do. This being said, her husband can tell her how he feels, that he is worried and loves her and wants her to be around for along time. He can then offer to help her by dieting and working out with her (you to) and if she says no, then he needs to decide if this is a relationship he is willing to stay in and then discuss it with her. My hope is that you all can go to counseling to fix the issues and become a happy and healthy family again. Best of luck."