Like "Loss is such a personal thing. No one can tell you your grief it ready to let go but you. I don't think that haning on to it is healthy, but each of us has to do that in our own time, so maybe you are coming to that realization now. There are days when out of the blue I will have a memory of my brother or my dad...and wham! Tear fest. But not for long. Some things that help me are remembering great times we shared, special moments. Looking at what we shared, not what I miss. I was very close to my dad. We did a lot of father daughter type things and he confided in me a lot. We were cut from the same fabric in life, and I really wish he had been alive to see some of the great things I have done. Then again, I'm glad he is not here to see my messes either. LOL!! My mom has a "game" she does called pennies from heaven. Shortly after my dad died, when she found a penny, she said he was looking out for her. Then after my brother died, she started finding two pennies at a time...and when her mom died, three pennies at a time would show up. So she finds great comfort in that. The one thing that helped me the most to get past the heavy emotions of it, was to talk about the death of each that I have lost. All were very differnt and two were very traumatic. I share with people often about them, and sometimes it is hard to do without tearing, but I make myself get thru it and then eventually is gets easier. I use it to help other people too. I had one friend tell me that she was amazed at how I could see the beauty in the death of my dad. I never had really seen it that way, but she was right. As hard as it was, it was a learning time for me and it an odd way, it too was beautiful. I wrote poetry to each and that expressed my feelings best. But once it is on paper, it helps remove it from the emotional iceburg...letting it rest. The last thing I will share is that every person makes a hole in our heart that is shaped like them. When they are gone, nothing else can fill that space, because it belongs to only them. So we carry with us that space that reminds us of the love we share for those people. So maybe instead of remebering the things that make you miss her, recall the way she made a special meal or the way she smelled on a summer day. Maybe it is the color of her eyes or her laugh that would make you smile. Remember a life lesson she taught you and share it with someone. The connection is going to be there, that just means that you had the blessing of loving someone. That is nothing to be sad about, but to be thankful for."