depressed (as usual)

By phatgirl Latest Reply 2015-02-22 17:44:41 -0600
Started 2011-02-09 23:41:09 -0600

I am not healthy enough for any weight lose surgery.And I have not yet lost ANY weight!!! I hate myself!!!! I hate my life!!!! I feel like giving up people! I have no family or friends close to where I live. I have NO ONE!
I have told my story on here to all you wonferfull people sooooo many times it isnt funny.I'm 48 amd feel 98! I cant hardly walk! what good am I?????I'm just TIRED!

20 replies

Sopies Grandma
Sopies Grandma 2015-02-22 17:44:41 -0600 Report

We have all been where you are at. I just recently came through a hard time like what your talking about. You are stronger than you think or feel you are. don't give up, hang in there. maybe you can find some counseling, I will keep you n my prayers and my thoughts.

melissa5786 2011-02-17 08:53:37 -0600 Report

You are a very special person. And we all have the moments when we think about everything we're going through and think it's never getting better. You have to start believing in yourself and understanding that you are important.

Maybe seeing a therapist will help you. I don't think it could hurt to make an appointment and see what they have to say. And once you get your emotions all sorted out you can get a trainer and nutritionist to help you come up with a plan of action to start your weight loss.

And of course we're all here for you on this journey. Things will get better.

joni55 2011-02-16 22:57:50 -0600 Report

Perhaps it might help to see a therapist. I see one and she helps me a lot in getting through the tough times.

MAYS 2011-02-16 22:31:20 -0600 Report

We all have our moments of uncertainty in life, try not to let it get you down.
To correct the problems of today, there is always tomorrow, think about it!

Let's work on your confidence first, you are special, but you must believe it in order to live it, look in the mirror, the person that you see is the most important person that matters right now!

Where does it start?

Have you looked into this community for a little support?

Life, learning, and success all take a little time, very few things happen suddenly, take some time, plan a course of action, and go forward.

You can do it!


angelhart0464 2011-02-14 15:57:04 -0600 Report

i understand where you are coming from phatgirl , sometimes i wake up and feel like im a 100 years old and i cant get out of the bed , but sometime you have to will your self too get up even if you dont want too but if you watch what you eat and drink a lot of water it will make a difference and do a lot of praying but please dont give up just keep trying and praying and i wish you good luck i will keep you in my prayers

Waheed11 2011-02-14 15:19:09 -0600 Report

You just won a new freind … me. here many things in his life that could make us feel much better … our ability to love! Think of someone you love.

MewElla 2011-02-11 07:55:49 -0600 Report

You are not alone…we are always here for you. You have to remember we all take our dips and dives as we walk through this journey called life. But we have to keep giving ourselves credit for the little positive steps we do each day. They don't have to major milestones, you just have to keep your baby steps moving and each day you will see what a great thing you are doing for yourself. Trying to lose weight is very frusterating I can agree with that…but I want you to know you are very important to a lot of folks, and especially to the people on this site. Don't give up, keep trying in whatever style you can and you will be uplifted..I said a prayer for you today to find some peace…Take care, I will be checking on you again soon.

granniesophie 2011-02-11 06:16:29 -0600 Report

I understand about hating yourself, believe me, I do. I was an emotionally abused child-grew up being told I was worthless and watched my younger brother being treated like a god. I turned to food-it made me feel better And so, I have days where I still hate my life and myself, and then I got diabetes! And I had to learn a whole new way of being.
People tell me all the time that I am good and I do good things-I have a hard time believing them.
Trust me-you are a good person, you are just your own worst enemy. Take small steps to find something good in you everyday. You can do it. Just smile at someone else-that counts as something good.
Everyone is right about support groups and maybe some counseling.

I have an idea that no one has mentioned yet-do you have an Animal Shelter of any type near you? If you do, go volunteer. You don't need to do anything much-just go into the Cat Room, sit in a chair, and just pet kitties. Let them sit on your lap and purr. Unconditional love. They don't care what you look like, or what happened to you that day (tell them, they listen). They love the attention and you will feel better and needed. These creatures have no homes and just small kindnesses make them feel better. They will make you feel better too! Small steps. Please try this if you can.

I am going to send you a friend request too-lets be friends-you are not alone.

kalihees 2011-02-11 05:18:44 -0600 Report

Life has it's ups and downs. Everyone goes through them, not just the inflicted. I have my bad days and my goods days and then all the days in between. What you have to remember is that you need to love yourself before you can expect the same from others. Hating yourself will not get you where you want to be.

I am a 300lb woman and when I hate on myself all I do is wallow in food and feel sorry for myself. Food makes me happy- at least I tell myself that, but all it really does is mess with my blood sugars and make my mood worse.

My advice is that if you are serious about loosing the weight and being a more happy you- that you look online for a support group or even a fitness group in your area. Water Aerobics are great for people with a hard time getting around. The YMCA offers Water Aerobics classes very inexpensively and if you cannot afford them they have scholarships for at need people that you may qualify for.

BTW I am looking at your picture and see a very beautiful woman :)

WendyFR 2011-02-16 21:23:11 -0600 Report

Kalihees is right. Everyone struggles with weight. It's a life change and you just have to believe your worth it and I know you are.

Harlen 2011-02-10 20:09:36 -0600 Report

I hardly know you and I like you so you must be a good person.
We all get down from time to time I to am 48 and yes some times I feel 98 too
You have me as your frend you just need to chat with me any time
Best wishes

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-02-10 18:06:01 -0600 Report


I am sorry to read that you are feelilng so frustrated and depressed right now. And I can understand why you would be feeling this way, feeling like your weight is so out of control. That is a lot to deal with.

But I wanted to see if I could give you some support and maybe make a couple of suggestions.

I know you are frustrated, as anyone in your situation would be. But the self-hatred isn't helpful. It's a way to make yourself feel worse, to punish yourself, to keep yourself stuck. I don't think you want to do that.

I would encourage you to have some compassion for yourself. Change your self-talk. Instead of beating up on yourself, telll yourself that you are trying as hard as you can. Remind yourself daily that you are a worthwhile person, capable of loving and worthy of being loved. Remind yourself that you have some health challenges that you want to overcome, that you are looking for solutions, that you are determined to move forward in creating a better life.

Look for alternativves. If you can't get the weight loss surgery, what can you do? Are there healthy diet programs that you might get involved with that would help you to better manage your diet? This might be worth a conversation with your doctor, or a CDE, or a nurse, and some research on your own. Of course, I would recommend only moving forward wiht a strategy that your doctor is comfortable with. What I am saying is not to assume that there is only one solution to your problem, but that there might be other alternatives.

Don't limit yourself. Look for some new ways to take more control in your life, starting with your self-care.

Now, for that loneliness. It is a terrible thing to feel alone and isolated, to not have people nearby to spend time with. This might be a time to find some new people to bring into your life. I am just tossing out some ideas here. Are you involved in any religious activities? This might be a good time to connect with some spiritual support as well as meet other people. Have you looked into support groups related to weight loss or diabetes? Are you feeling well enough to do an hour or two of volunteer work that might get your around other people as well as give someone else a helping hand?

There are a lot of wonderful people here on Diabetic Connect and we are here for you. I suspect that there are also a lot of supportive people in your own community, but you need to find your way to them. That might take a little work. But the results would be worth it.

And I also have to say that you might want to consider talking to a mental health professional. It sounds like your self-image is really suffering right now. And depression is always a reason to reach out for a professional. So I would encourage you to consider reaching out to a counselor, maybe thorugh your local mental health agency. With some digging and persistence, you can get help in improving your outlook. I would really encourage you to do this right away. Don't go through this alone!

Don't hate yourself, don't hate the world. You are a worthwhile, caring, lovable person. And the world is also filled with good. Give yourself a push, or a few pushes, to get back into your groove.

Keep us posted!


PetiePal 2011-02-10 15:37:10 -0600 Report

It's tough in the beginning. If I remember you were only recently diagnosed. Do your best to try and make the diet changes early on. What kind of physical activity or exercise CAN you do? Can you lift like dumbells or maybe a stationary bike etc?

-You AREN'T alone. We're all here for you.
-Don't hate yourself and don't hate your life! It's not OVER so don't focus on the negative things too much!

It might help to find a local support group if you can that meets monthly or bi-weekly. Depression is not uncommon for diagnosed diabetics. A therapist may do a lot in itself.

Dawn Boucher
Dawn Boucher 2011-02-10 14:09:16 -0600 Report

I can relate to not being able to get around I have very painful knees with degenerative joint decease and I too suffer from depression and anxiety. You are a good person and you are worth something especially to me and God and my roommate. Take care and don't give up would love to hear from you.

QueenJeanne 2011-02-10 13:01:06 -0600 Report

Believe it or not. Everyone of us have had this same situation. I was at that point just a few months ago when everything was off the charts. I had to work at adjusting one thing at a time before everything started falling into place. Blood pressure was out of wack. Blood sugars were out of wack and so was my cholesterol. I attacked each one separately and slow every one of them began to fall into the proper ranges. It takes times and with diabetes one must have patience and a support group that will keep an individual on track. You will be okay, phatgirl, don't like this negative name, but when you feel more positive about you and your progress, please change the name. You are a beautiful woman and God does not make junk and the community will not trash you. Keep talking to us.

realsis77 2011-02-10 10:45:44 -0600 Report

Please know your not alone. You have a whole community of people here on dc that care about you! Your loved. There are many people here to help you. Don't be so hard on yourself. At times we can be our own worst enemy and don't get trapped in a cycle of self are a worthy and beautiful person that God made and God dosent make junk! Remember that! Reach out and people will reach back! Your not alone. Your a beautiful creation from God. Your special and unique. Your loved and don't forget that! Change those old negative tapes that play in your head to positive ones. What helps me is daily aspirations positive thought be your own best friend not your worst enemy! Remember you are worthy of the best in life and your a perfect creation just the way you are! Your special and important. If you ever need a friend to just talk with I'm here for you! I wish you the very best you deserve it! There are books you can buy with daily positive quotes and there wonderful to help get rid of negitive self talk. Fill your mind with positive thoughts! It really works! God bless you and remember you have many people who care for you here on this site!

GabbyPA 2011-02-10 07:50:21 -0600 Report

It is not easy to hear things like this. My heart is hurting for you. Is there no group near by that can give you a lift? I now virtual is not as good as face to face, but we are here to encourage you. Is there some accountability we can share with you so that you have a reason to be here and report on progress?

It is silly little things, but I have a "No Popcorn" pact with one of the members here. We were both eating way too much of it, and we promised not to eat any. It has been fun and funny....she mailed me some popcorn kernels and a VERY expired coupon for popcorn. We try to make it fun.

My husband got a therapy ball and I have been using (not as much as I need to) for some stationary exercises. Could you get one and we could share the exercises we do every day?

What makes you not healthy enough for the surgery? Can we work on that together to help you get to that point? How much weight do they want you to loose before they think you are ready mentally for the surgery? Can we work on that together. Drop me a private note and we will see what we can do on a buddy system.

Alicia 1777
Alicia 1777 2011-02-10 07:34:03 -0600 Report

Don't beat yourself up. Even though right now You may feel that nothing is going right, but just hang in there. Just think one day You will look back on this day in disbelief because You will be at a better place in Your life. I will keep You in my Prayers and continue to uplift You. Just remember to hang in there.

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