Forgive me for not being there lately!

By Bertlette Latest Reply 2011-02-10 18:31:15 -0600
Started 2011-02-08 06:22:28 -0600

Hello my diabetic friends, I have been away from the site for about 7 months or even a little longer then that, I have been and in and out of the hospital, thank God it had nothing to do with my diabetes. I'm feeling much better now, but I had tragic in life my husband died January 1, 2011 of heart failure, to my knowledge he was never sick, he and I was separated for 4 years but we kept in contact weekly, he was my first and only love and I was his, even though we were separated we love each other dearly and there wasn't a week that went by that he didn't ask for my forgiveness and he wanted to be back in my life as husband and wife! Yes, I had forgave him years ago for his indiscretions he was 45 and I'm 47, to have to bury a man that I wasn't finish loving, it wasn't easy preparing his funeral, but my stubbornness and my pride took over for not taking him back, I loved him and if I could do it again, he would be here with me. All I'm trying to say to you beautiful people that I met on this site is, life is very, very short and if your in a situation similar to mine, put your pride to the side and work whatever issue you think is so serious, because really" it's not it's just a situation ", I truly miss my husband, he always worried about me dying and leaving me but he was the one God took home!!!! Thanks you guys for listening I just wanted to vent this to all my friends on d/c!!!!!

10 replies

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-02-10 18:31:15 -0600 Report

So nice to have you back. I am sorry for your loss. I hope that you will forgive yourself. We are all human, and we can only do what we can do at the time, that's all we can ask of ourselves. You showed compassion toward your husband, and I hope you will show that same compassion toward yourself. I hope you are getting a lot of support during this time, grieving takes whatever time it is going to take. Stay in touch!

realsis77 2011-02-09 15:13:18 -0600 Report

Wow he was soo young! I'm soo sorry to hear that you had to go through this! How terriablly tragic. How are you doing now? I can imagine how terriable painful this loss must have been for you! I lost my father a few years ago so I understand grief. Also remember they will always live on as long as we carry them in our hearts with us daily. I am truely sorry for you and will be here for you if you ever just want someone to talk too ok? I will keep you in my prayers. Remember you have a big family here on dc who cares for you and will support you any way we can! I am glad to hear you are doing better and that your out of the hospital now. You have really been through sooo much and my heart goes out to you! Remember you are not alone. Try and remember the good times you have had with your husband and these memories will get you through these rough times. Remember to reach out when your feeling sad and hurting. You don't have to go through this alone, ok? You have many people who care for you here on dc. Please keep us posted on how your doing as your in our hearts and thoughts. I pray God comforts you during this time in your life! And remember to keep us posted on how your doing ok? Your friend, lynnette…

imsuzie2 2011-02-08 23:25:31 -0600 Report

Dear Bertlette…please accept my heart-felt condolences as well, for the loss of your husband. I can only imagine the difficulties you are experiencing. I have the same nightmare thoughts re my husband. We have been thru kidney cancer and the implant of a defibrillator/pacemaker just this last 12/31. Know you have love and support not only here on DC, but from your family as well. S2

Kaiyle 2011-02-08 20:06:16 -0600 Report

I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your husband. Just know that your family here will keep you and your family in prayer. It's good to hear that you're doing much better after being in and out of the hospital. From what you've written, it is evident that you are a very strong and courageous person, and it is these things along with the good memories of your husband that will get you through the days ahead. Peace be unto you and know you are not alone.

LabRat90 2011-02-08 15:21:47 -0600 Report

I'm so sorry for your loss. I haven't had to experience this but I've supported my mother and my mother-in-law while they were grieving. Be careful of what they call the broken heart syndrone. Older people tend to have heart problems after the partner dies. My mom did this, but we found it in time.

CaliKo 2011-02-08 11:06:01 -0600 Report

I am so sorry you lost your husband. I haven't had to face that grief, and it scares me to think how quickly death can come to any of us. Life truly does change in a heartbeat. We are always here to listen. Hugs.

CoRinaB 2011-02-08 08:52:01 -0600 Report

I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers. The good thing is that even though you weren't "together" the love was still there. He knew you loved him and vice versa. Don't beat yourself up about being stubborn because you weren't being stubborn. That's the way we are. You probably put up a shield so as to NOT let it happen again, to you. Just remember that you two still had a meaningful relationship even though it weren't as husband and wife. Now, it's up there in heaven watching over you. Take care of yourself and live for tomorrow, make him proud. GOD BLESS!!!

MewElla 2011-02-08 08:02:01 -0600 Report

My heart goes out to you. I lost my husband also and the pain is undescribeable. Wish you were here for a big hug. I agree totally with you that life is so very short for each of us and we just need to take one day at a time and do the very best we can with it, tell the people we love, that they are cherished and to be kind and loving to our family and friends. Once life is gone, we can not buy time back, even as much as I would love to. But our husbands will live on in our hearts and memories will more and more precious to you as time goes on. My thoughts and prayers are with you, dear lady…

MAYS 2011-02-08 07:32:06 -0600 Report

Welcome home!

Always remember that you have both family, and friends here.
Sometimes words aren't enough, but an open ear can do wonders!
So if you ever have the need to vent, please feel free to do so.

You will always have your husband within both your heart, and your memories!
Therefore you will have him forever!


Bertlette 2011-02-08 19:36:26 -0600 Report

Thank you all out there, for your thoughts and prayers I know things will get better in the long run, I so dearly love my mother in-law , he was her first born so I try to call at least 3 times a week to make sure she's ok!
God is truly a good one, and I truly missed relating with you guys, now I have a couple of issues that has to do with my health, about 4 months ago I had 1 kidney removed by laser surgery(it was a small one) and everything went fine. But in the last couple of month I've been having such irritation and itching, I can't hold my bladder, I told my primary care doctor and he prescribe "Bactrim", it goes away and within weeks it's back again. I was wondering do anyone know anything I could buy from a pharmacy to stop the itching ad irritation, and something that could control my bladder, I can't be outside for 45 minute's before I'm trying to run home or find a rest room and it's very embarrassing!