By leolioness Latest Reply 2011-02-07 14:19:04 -0600
Started 2011-02-03 15:37:01 -0600

What can you do when someone you care about will NOT do what is both recommended AND needed to improve their diabetic condition? Why are some people so willing to take meds and continue to go on living the way they were even though it was what brought on the condition in the first place? My doctor seems blown away that I actually listen and follow her recommendations to improve my condition! This is a sad state of affairs…is it not??

17 replies

roshy 2011-02-06 14:21:08 -0600 Report

theres a hundred and one answers to that question! and heres a few of mine!!

some people have reached the point where they feel like they have tried everything and nothing works , and after a long time of trying it becomes to much of a battle that you feel you can no longer win!

Others thin that the concequences will never catch up on them so the fail to change their lifestyle .

Others are in complete denial, and see the illness as a weakness and feel like it should be almost put to the back of their mind.

And then theres the people who are simply too lazy to try and help themselves!! and of course theres the people are just too set in their ways to change!

and then theres the mature, intelligent people like you who are completely realistic about the suituation, IT WILL CATCH UP ON YOU !!

the reality is its not an easy thing to live with, and those who look at you and ask the question 'why dont you do better with you illness' most likely havent waked a day in you r shoes to see how hard it really is. Sure if it was easy we'd all be a1 diabetics!!

ramjet388 2011-02-07 14:19:04 -0600 Report

Thanks for that comment. As I sat thinking about my illness afew weeks ago. I thaught of all those answers and went on without taking care of my self. It was easier. But last week I WOKE UP to the problem that I was making for myself and farther down the road, How could I do this to my children? They had all ready lost there mom (my wife of 38 years ) because she gave up and 7 1/2 months later she pass away. She's been gone now for 2 & 1/2 yrs. and we are learning how to carry on with our lifes without her. But not me! I just woke up about 10 days a go. Now I take ALL my meds including a shot for all day and before meals and after if needed! my kids are waiting for the laps in to the old ways. I keep showing them and soon they will be happy again.

ramjet388 2011-02-05 07:59:34 -0600 Report

I have been one of those kind of people. I just couldn't grasp why I needed to take the meds or what Diabeties was doing to me. I've been taking the meds for about 20 years now and just a few weeks ago begain to understand.
when my daughter begain to cry because I might not be around very long, I woke up. I am now not only taking the meds and shots, I'm watching the food I eat.I think it was Gabby that told me "It's not easy when you start, but becomes 'EASYIER' as you learn.! Well, I'm learning. Not just for my children, but for me also.

leolioness 2011-02-07 13:52:22 -0600 Report

Awesome!!! That gives me hope about the person I care about. I see it now like with an alcoholic, they have to want to help themselves first or hit rock bottom. Thanks for sharing that…

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2011-02-04 21:46:20 -0600 Report

All you can do is what they will allow you to do. When my Mother-in-law let me help her with meals I would try to follow what her Dr recommended. When she made other choices whether her own cooking or when eating out, I could do nothing. It is hard to not push with some people. Both my mother-in-law and my father chose to deal with their medical issues in different ways than I chose to deal with some of the same conditions I have. But it is/was their right. If I had pushed too hard they each would have shut me out of their lives. My doctors also seem surprised when I listen and follow their recommendations. Theylisten to me when I question what they say and will take extra time to discuse other options with me.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-02-04 20:22:09 -0600 Report


You ask a good question here. I think that it is human nature to hope that if "don't think about it, then maybe it will go away." In other words, denial. Resistance to change also plays a role. Making changes in ingrained habits arodn diet and actvitiy level are really diffcult, especially when everybody else in the household is enjoying business as usual. Sometimes peopl need coaching becuase they overwhelmed by what they have been told to do and don't know where to begin. And then there's lack of education, with new patients not really being adequately informed about the need to do more than take meds.

It is always sad when I hear the stories of pateints who don't have a lot of support, who are frustrated with themselves, but feel powerless to embrace change.

Gentle encouragement, offeing to go to the doctor to offer support, attending a meeting with a CDE, signing up for a class... there are all things that can encourage pateints to embrace their "new normal" and make needed changes. Teamwork!

We can't force someone else to take care of themselves but patience, love, compassion can certainly help to push them along the way.

MewElla 2011-02-04 13:47:31 -0600 Report

Photos like you showed us makes me more determined and committed to taking care of my diabetes. This was a real eye opener for me. Pictures speak volumes..

ston3xc 2011-02-04 17:56:42 -0600 Report

Sometimes it's hard to see things like those pics, but I feel people really need a wakeup call sometimes to get going.

ston3xc 2011-02-04 13:35:21 -0600 Report

Show them the consequenses of not taking care of themselves on my photo page of my profile. My son negleted his diabetes for 12 years. What he is going through now, I have titled TJ's Journey. Pictures speak louder than words!

GabbyPA 2011-02-03 22:13:16 -0600 Report

Why do people smoke when they know it is killing them? Why do we eat junk food when we know it is making us fat? Why do we drink and drive? Why do we take drugs that eat our brains and ruin our lives? It is because our brains may know this, but we don't believe it or we don't have the conviction to make it any different. Sometimes it is that we have not had our eyes opened to the truth from our point of view.

Here is one example. I have tried for years to cut the fast food out of our family routine. We have done well, but would fall into it again out of convenience. I can stay away from it easier than my husband. He would want it, then eventually we were both eating it again. Well, his "eye opener" was the movie Food Inc. He won't touch it now and that makes it so much easier for me. I don't have to sit and watch him eat it. That was his wake up.

Everyone has different things that help drive the truth home to us. Some never get it. Yes, it is sad. It took being diagnosed as a diabetic for me to start seriously loosing weight and exercising and eating the way I always knew I should. For some it will take a complication to wake them up. For some, the comfort of continual denial is where they stay. We can't make them, we can only love and support them and pray that they will get the wake up call before it's too late.

Pynetree 2011-02-03 22:12:03 -0600 Report

Tough to force a grown person to do anything…even if it's to their benefit…just EDUCATE…EDUCATE…EDUCATE! Someday they'll get it…it will CLICK, just have to hope it's brought on by figuring it out finally, and not a health crisis!

Harlen 2011-02-03 18:40:08 -0600 Report

Theres just not much you can do to make somone do the things they need to do .
Best wishes

MewElla 2011-02-03 16:10:20 -0600 Report

Sometimes you have send out subliminal messages by the things you do without preaching but by your actions of love. Be supportive, steady and encouraging. This definitely would not be easy, but who said life is easy? Good Luck.

re1ndeer 2011-02-03 16:04:32 -0600 Report

I say the only thing you can do, to someone who is unwilling to follow doctors orders is still be supportive. My daughter-in-laws father is the same way. He started doing his meds, then one day he says he's not doing them anymore.

She pressured her father for about 2 years, to take his meds, do his exercise and eat right. He ignored her.

My daughter in law could not force him to take his meds, but she invited him over for meals (which she had made special diabetic diet), knowing he would eat healthier. Also, she would invited him over to take a walk in the park with her and my grandson. So, in a sneaky way she was helping him be a type 2 diabetic with out meds,

This year (he lost 40lbs.) he decided to go back to the doctor and go back on his meds.

Sometimes it takes silent pushing to help them along.

GabbyPA 2011-02-03 22:16:06 -0600 Report

This is an excellent example of support and love and how it brings out the best in others. Bravo to her.