Stubborn Hubby

By Mktngurl Latest Reply 2008-11-29 13:20:59 -0600
Started 2008-09-30 01:41:45 -0500

My hubby is newly diagnosed. I am trying so hard to make sure he gets what he needs and doesn't get what he can't have. He thinks it's ok to only test once a day. How often you any of you test through out the day?

31 replies

ancoto 2008-11-29 13:20:59 -0600 Report

I only test once a day unless I start feeling off than I test more often. My doctor told me it was alright for me to do this because I have pretty good control right now. I alos not the signs to look for when my sugars are geeting high or too low.

Sparrow - 16557
Sparrow - 16557 2008-11-29 12:36:46 -0600 Report

Denial is a big part of processing news you don't like. Unhappily, if the denial isn't overcome soon enough, reality may set in when the doctor says he has kidney disease or retinopathy (eye damage).

The hard job is getting them to face reality. And getting them to understand that, eating healthy (the diabetic way) is what EVERYONE SHOULD be doing.

Testing is hard. Nothing says your different from everyone else more than dragging out a glucose meter, test strips and a lancet device, sticking your finger, BLEEDING, and then putting it all away just before digging into that great pot roast sitting in front of everyone. The idea is to make it as natural as possible. Soon, it will be.

I test before and after every meal and before bed. Sometimes I test in the middle of the night just to see how things are going overnight. The more tests, the better idea of how your blood sugar is doing and how to make adjustments (either in diet or medication or both) to make things better. If I were you, I would just sugest in a very "matter-of-fact" way before each meal, "Don't forget to test." At first, he'll probably be annoyed, but eventually, it'll sink in.

gabussear 2008-10-01 15:16:45 -0500 Report

Hello mktngurl,

We just had to answer this. Abbye, my wife, tests 8 times a day. She is type 2 and has been on the pen forever. She finally got on the pump about 2 months ago and loves it. If at all possible your hubby wants to take care of himself so he won't go on insulin. It can be done with proper monitoring of his sugar readings and diet control. Has he been to an endocronoligist yet. Suggest that he does. This doctor will make him understand just how serious his diabetes is and that he needs to exercise good control.

We are not experts but perhaps can answer some questions you might have.

The main reason we answered your post is to see if you can get your hubby to read Abbye,s story. "Which is below". This is just one of may things that can happen to him, to say the least, if he doesn't follow his treatment guide lines.

We are both 72 and consider ourselves to be of the "Older Youngsters Generation" Minds are great just the body complains.

"Abbye's Story" (capsule form)

July 5, 2007
9 pm

Greetings Everyone,

We are Gary and Abbye Bussear and want to thank you for stopping in. The following is Abbye's testimony of her battle with severe Neuropathy in her back, hands, legs and feet. There is much more to this story but we just want to concentrate on the neuropathy and pain for now.

A little History:
Abbye is a diabetic, type II, and has been for18 years. Taking insulin for 7 years. Testing her sugar 5 times a day and 5 insulin shot every day. She suffers with severe Neuropathy and pain in her back, hands, legs and feet. This has been constant for at least the last 7 years.

I cringe whenever I hear her describe what her pain feels like. She says it is just like someone has her feet and legs in a vice and just keeps tightening the vice on them. It doesn't let up. She has been on Tramadol for the last 7 years, 1 pill 4 times a day. She can't walk very far without stopping and giving her feet and legs a rest.

We found a nutritional company, well respected, who manufactures an immune building complex and tried her on this. It did help some; she said it did reduce her pain by about 50%. Abbye has been taking this for about 3 years. However I still see her in tears from the pain from time to time.

Abbye didn’t realize this was happening, but I used watch her sit on the couch in the living room and just stare off into space. All I could see in her eyes was the pain. I watched as she slid deeper and deeper into depression. I actually began to think that I was going to loose her. I was frantic as there was nothing I could do. I was helpless!!

I have put in hours and hours of research on the Internet hunting for something that would relieve this pain she lives with daily. We have tried numerous different things but nothing would deliver what they claimed. We tried it all, pills, powders including nerve stimulant therapy, you name it we looked at it or tried it.

Until Friday June 29, 2007. It just so happened on this day I had a carpenter working with me, we were talking about pain and he began to tell me about a product he was taking. He got hurt about 4 years ago and had to have back surgery. He said he was in constant pain after the surgery. Taking 4 to 6 Lora Tabs a day just to handle the pain. He told me that after taking this new product for about a week and a half his pain was gone and he didn't need the Lora Tabs anymore. He is now pain free! I began to ask questions and decided to order it for Abbye, after all we had nothing to loose at this point.
The beauty of this? The product is natural. No blank, blank chemicals!

A New Beginning:
This is how it goes: On June 29, 2007 at 6 pm we placed an order for this new product. They said shipping time was 7 to 10 business days. We checked UPS tracking on July 3rd and saw it was scheduled to be delivered around 6 pm that evening. Product was delivered. At 7:15 pm we took 2 ounces each. The taste is scrumptious! Yes, I'm taking it too. My story later.

On July 4 Th around 10 AM we each took 1 oz. Around noon as we were headed out the door to a cook out with our children when Abbye said to me, "You know what? My feet aren't hurting" No Pain !! Which was strange, as she had been standing for 2 hours the night before and an hour and a half in the kitchen this morning preparing food to take with us.

We just looked at each other and said Nah! "Ain't No Way". I know the grammar isn't good but it expresses' it the best. Anyway we enjoyed the 4th. At 7pm we each took another oz.. Abbye wanted to go to the fireworks that evening so off we went. Still no pain, with plenty of energy to spare. Where we had to park was about a quarter of a mile away. We walked in, watched the fireworks and walked back to the truck and came home. She wasn't tired, wasn't hurting and had a huge smile on her face. She said this is the best day I have had in years. I had so much fun. ( Folks that was music to these tired old ears and brought tears to my eyes) as she said. "I still don't have any pain". We went to bed and she slept all night without waking up in pain.

I talked to some other people who are taking this product and they are getting the same amazing result. After looking for soooo long this truly is a Miracle.

Thank you for reading this as we realize this was rather lengthy but what you read here is a true-life experience. I’m sure there are many other stories out there that can demonstrate just how devastating this disease can be. For those who are in denial or don’t want to take care of their diabetes “Please” understand, you must do what is necessary to stop it from progressing. If you don’t “You Will Pay The Price”!! You don’t need to.

What Could Proper Care Do For You!

We leave you praying that you might find a healthier, happy life also. BE HEALTHY EVERYDAY!!

Gary & Abbye Bussear, Cocoa, Florida small

Send us an email if you have any questions or we can help you in any way.

Lanore 2008-10-03 01:46:59 -0500 Report

Hi Gary & Abbye,
Could you please tell me what your wife is using for the pain?? I would like to try it my self as I have a lot pain in my back, legs & feet. Email me if you like. small
Thanks so much. Lanore ;-)

amellcheney 2008-11-24 23:36:23 -0600 Report

Last week I collapsed and was taken to the emergency room. I was told my blood sugar is very low and needed to see a specialist as soon as possible. My problem is I have no insurance since I was laid off. I tried to get help but don't Qualify as I make too much money. I make 185 a week and barely getting by. I did qualify for unemployment and that was good. It keeps the wolves at bay. I was trying to save money on food and that did not work out well as I was eating once a day. I have been reading that losing weight may help but I am 5'5" and weight 118 pounds so I don't think weight is a major issue. I have always exercised until last year when I broke my back and too much walking or standing hurts alot since I can't afford pain meds either and motrin tears up my stomach. It seems so wrong that I worked for 26 years at my job and for 20 years I never missed a day for illness. I took off time for the birth of my grandchildren, my daughter's wedding and I took off time when I broke my back. I was hit by an uninsured driver and was just getting back in line when I got laid off. I have not told my daughters of my health issue because they would only worry. I have been eating more often and trying to keep some healthy snacks around and so far I feel ok. I am really hoping my blood sugar was just because I was not eating right.

Mktngurl 2008-10-01 10:24:30 -0500 Report

Thank you all sooo much for your input. I have put it to him soo many ways… test now or insulin will be the result.. please test now (begging), giving him the numbers on the how's and why's of testing…so all I can do is arm him with information. I can't make him do anything. I wish it were easier.

GabbyPA 2008-10-01 11:15:07 -0500 Report

I know that I tend to fight those I love when the pressure is on. WHY, I have no idea. It is so stupid. I have learned a new humility with this, I don't know what to do. I needed help, and in my own time, I get it.

In the beginning I focued on my foods, trying to find a happy place there. Then I started to add in exercise. I am improving that daily, but it took time and I had to do it on my own to get comfortable before I even let anyone of my family know I was exercising. Now I am working to loose weight more specifically, and so on.

My husband tends to get really excited and push too much sometimes. I walk 30 he wants me to do an hour. I eat less, he wants me to trim more. I know he is trying to help, but sometimes it annoys me. I have to go at my pace to make it a lifestyle, not a temporary thing like I always did in the past.

Maybe something to do is let him find his place without the "push"? I am not saying to not keep an eye on him, but maybe just leave it for a while and see what he does on his own. Ultimately, it is his deal, he has to come to grips with it.

Amy has a section on her website that is just for spouses and how they cope and deal with things. You might want to pop in there once in a while and see what is added. There are some very moving stories there.

kdroberts 2008-10-01 14:30:22 -0500 Report

Just to keep it real. Insulin is not a punishment or something that you go on when you're bad or don't take care of yourself. It's nothing more than a tool, an essential one for type 1's and a useful or essential tool for type 2's. However, for somebody with a needle phobia it could be an issue.

Frustrated mom
Frustrated mom 2008-10-01 06:17:58 -0500 Report

My son t1 test at least 4 times a day…Your husband is lucky not to have to take insulin, then he would have to take shots for his food intake…My son pricks his forearm, he hates the finger he says that hurts really bad..Maybe he can try that…Good luck!…It is such an adjustment and an added pain to ones life (yours to)My prayers are with you and your husband…

John Crowley
John CrowleyCA 2008-10-01 03:11:04 -0500 Report

It's probably not fair for me to comment here (as it's my son not me who has to do the testing). But when he was newly diagnosed, sometimes I would prick my finger too to show my support.

And I know for a fact that you can learn to find those spots that are less sensitive. For example, the side of most people's fingertip is less sensitive than the pad or the center of the fingertip. Have him experiment with different fingers and different spots. Not that he'll ever learn to "love" pricking his finger. But doing it in the most sensitive spots just makes it that much worse.

Ginetteb 2008-10-01 02:49:14 -0500 Report

Your husband seems to be in denial of his disease. I was there for years, convincing myself that it was no big deal. Thank the good Lord, I finally started to take it seriously. You see, when you are first diagnosed with diabetes, you don't feel so bad. There is really nothing that hurts, hence no injury and the only thing I really felt, was that I was sleepy all the time and that's the reason I went to the doctor's office. I was falling asleep all over the place and could not stay awake past 8:00 PM at night. That was because my sugar was too high, but other than the sleepiness, I was feeling fine. Maybe your husband is not experiencing anything uncomfortable and therefore does not see the need to prick his fingers more than once a day. I wish you had watched NPR last night. It was all about people who die because they could not afford or COULD NOT get medical insurance. They lost their job because of their disease and could not get another because of their disease. A lot of those people had diabetes.
You see, it seems like most companies understand how serious this disease is and they do not want to hire you. The health issue is too risky and you're the only one looking for a job, or for insurance, to wonder why the doors keep slamming in your face. You just don't understand.
I think your solution lies in making him understand how serious this is. Diabetes will kill us eventually, however if we are careful and diligent in our own care (because we are 90% responsible) we can delay this eventuality considerably. To survive 40 and 50 years after diagnosis is not impossible. Unlike cancer, our diet can have a direct impact on our health, and the more he knows what makes his numbers go up or down, the better off he'll be and the older he'll get and I might add, he'll get to be older with very little pain if any. Some of the ramification of not being diligent can cause us a lot of pain. When I see people with feet amputated, a little prick is a small price to pay to avoid the amputation. So it's a trade off. Prick your fingers now or die young. After a while, the tip of your fingers get to be so numb, you don't even feel the prick. You should take him to visit a pediatric hospital and show him what some of these children go through and still find the strength to be laughing, smiling and what an inspiration they are. It's just a matter of you finding the right button to push. BUT FIND THE BUTTON. Good luck.

Lanore 2008-10-01 02:23:00 -0500 Report

No one wants to scare your hubby, but not testing and not getting control now could lead to having to use insulin…umm that is a needle and it has to be used. I know as anyone who is using it. Maybe just bring up that fact will help in some small way.
It's a fact of life now we have to test our B/S and more than once a day. Does he read the post here? There is so much support here. We are here to help and support all we can. Lanore :-)

kdroberts 2008-10-01 01:26:36 -0500 Report

Just to add, the testing rate will vary drastically. For instance, an active type 1 with a new insulin regimen will be drastically different that a type 2 who has been successfully managing for a while. The first may be testing 20 times a day, the second may be testing twice a day. It really depends on the individual situation and what you are trying to learn.

momoftype1 2008-09-30 14:16:19 -0500 Report

My daughter tests 6-8 times a day, but his dr should be giving that direction. We used to have to hold her dow to test her and give her shots when she was first dx (she was 8) now she does it like it's nothing. I think for most people acceptance is the tough part and once you get there it's just another poke. He will get there, be strong and supportive.

DiabeticizMe 2008-09-30 13:21:49 -0500 Report

I test 4-6x a day. I am insulin dependent. You may also want to check to see how what your insurance will cover as far as testing goes. I know most insurance's follow medicare guidelines. Medicare only pays for testing twice a day if your aren't on insulin, if you testing more they would need a reason for over utilization. If he is on insulin they will pay up to 4 times a day for testing anything over 4 times they would say he was over using and would need a reason for it.

tmana 2008-10-01 03:22:59 -0500 Report

I think that depends on the state. I was researching New York's coverage to anticipate trying to get my mother to test, and it turns out they are going from covering one test a day if you are not on insulin, and two if you are, down to one test every other day if you are not on insulin, and one test a day if you are.

GabbyPA 2008-10-01 05:13:14 -0500 Report

That is unbelievable. Those people want us to take care of ourselves to reduce the risk of expensive complications. Why would they do that? I just don't understand their thinking at all. Preventative is always better than the alternative.

tmana 2008-10-01 06:40:36 -0500 Report

It makes sense on a couple of levels. (Forget about any sense of humanity — you have to think only about dollars and cents.) (1)Private insurance: most people change jobs every few years, and many companies change insurance companies every few years. By the time your complications would cost the insurance company any real money, you're with a different insurer — they've passed the buck and avoided the cost. (2) Medicaid/Medicare: because of mobility issues, geriatric patients, and nice little loopholes, many people on Medicaid/Medicare can't afford the co-pays for their medications (or end up in the 'donut hole') and don't seek complete assistance for their medical issues. Withholding care hastens death and minimizes costs. (It may also minimize Social Security/Disability disbursement outlays.)

Is it humane? No. Is it cost-effective long-term? Only if you start excluding people with high medical costs and complications from insurance (both public and private). Is it cost-effective short-term? Hell, yes. And most of the corporate and public concerns involved can't see longer than the next quarterly report.

GabbyPA 2008-10-01 09:38:07 -0500 Report

Unfortunately, you are so right. It is just not right. Really that saddens me because it is so accepted and then covered up with "we will take care of you" empty promises from the big companies. Makes me want to cry.

2008-09-30 13:12:20 -0500 Report

I think as a newly diagnosed, like my husband he should test 4 times a day while monitoring his diet and exercise, and meds closely; put it in his daily testing journal that should have come with his glucose meter;Once he sees he is starting to set a certain pace, or stableizing; cut to three a day, and then twice. but it usually takes a little while to be sure you are in control. I would test 3 times a day when you see any change at 2; Good luck w/ your husband :-)lilmarm

GabbyPA 2008-09-30 11:27:00 -0500 Report

I started just testing once a day, but as I grew to understand how important it is and what it can tell me, I have upped it to 5 times minimum. My most important reads are my morning, my post meal and my bedtime.

AM tells me if my liver is being a pain in the butt

My post meal tells me what foods do to my levles. I learned a lot from these test about what foods to avoid.

My bedtime check tells me if my morning is a good one, or a not so good one.

It does take a while to find that routine, but he will do it. I found the curiosity was my reason for testing more. Perhaps instead of telling him he "has" to test, you can encourage him to discover what his body is reacting to?

Lanore 2008-09-30 01:55:26 -0500 Report

I test three times a day…Morn fasting; before dinner; & before bedtime. Many here test more than that as well. His Dr is best to tell him how many time a day to test. Being a newbie it's hard to know what is right, alway ask your Dr. Hope this helps. Lanore :-)

Mktngurl 2008-09-30 07:05:44 -0500 Report

He really HATES to test. He hates needles period! BUT, how do you know EXACTLY what foods push your level up higher than other foods without testing? He is sooo frustrating in this fact!! lol He still thinks he can eat mac and cheese every other day too! lol

kdroberts 2008-09-30 07:17:08 -0500 Report

Exactly right. If you aren't testing after meals (1-2 hours depending on when you spike normally) you are missing some of the most important, arguably the most important, readings you can get.

Why does he not like to test? Maybe fixing that will start to fix some other things.

Mktngurl 2008-09-30 07:22:44 -0500 Report

My husband is 6'6 … just a little feller who is scared to death of even the smallest needle. He hates the needle part of poking his little finger. I have no idea how to get through to him on how important this is!

kdroberts 2008-09-30 07:25:56 -0500 Report

Get him an accuchek multiclix, you don't see the 'needle' part ever. It's also the least painful, best made and easiest lancing device I've used.

GabbyPA 2008-09-30 11:28:57 -0500 Report

He doesn't have to keep using the same finger...he has 9 other ones to share the load. He will find that certain fingers work better and you can test on the sides (so now you are up to 20 places to test!) I still make that weird face while I am at the antisipation stage of the prick, but it does get easier.

vgarrison 2008-11-29 12:43:32 -0600 Report


I too still make "the face"…my hubby laughs his hind parts off at me, that is until I ask him if he wants to test…

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