I am overwhelmed, alone and exhausted. Any ideas?

Baxter13601
By Baxter13601 Latest Reply 2011-01-22 07:59:54 -0600
Started 2011-01-20 10:28:39 -0600

I've had IDDM 41 yrs. I am so tired from this disease, I was sick in Nov. for 11 days and twice in Dec. for about the same time. I have an 86 yo mother i am the primary caretaker of, divorced and manage a house and work, plus three animals. I talked to my endo and he said talk to a counselor, I am seeing a psychiatrist. He's not helping much nor is the anti-depressant i take for neuropathy. I talked to my internist about this and burst out crying. He patted my knee and told me he didn't know what to do for me. I always read/hear "talk to your diabetes support team". Well in reality I don't have one, nor is one available near me. I've gone to support groups and they asked ME to run it, and it's 1 hour away to get there. I am ready to be done with this disease. I took an inventory online about diabetes distress and scored 97/100. Any ideas? Anyone else feel like this?


8 replies

tomecom
tomecom 2011-01-22 07:25:52 -0600 Report

Baxter: Depression in diabetics can often be eliminated or substantially reduced by taking a couple of simple measures. Most diabetics are deficient in essential vitamins and minerals, which causes a corresponding deficiency in amino acids. amino acids control many thousands of body functions including weight, mood or depression and glucose management.
every diabetic should take a good quality multivitamin every day. They must be from natural sources, not synthetic. The body will not absorb synthetics unless they are chelated, Very few synthetics are.
Eat more foods that are high in tryptophan. Tryptophan is an amino acid that the body converts into serotonin, which is the happy hormone. Beans, and some sea foods are high in tryptophan.
Do not take medications for neuropathy. They merely mask the pain and do not stop the progression. Instead, take alpha lipoic acid 100-600 mg per day. It is all natural, will not interact with other medications, and will stop the pain and progression of neuropathy.
It would probably help you to get a copy of the Diabetes Primer and learn more about diabetes. It is free from CNET.com. Just type the name into the search box and download it. It covers all of this and much more in greater detail.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-01-20 16:07:01 -0600 Report

Hi!

I am sorry that you are going through such turmoil right now and you are feeling so badly. I want to offer my support and suggest a few ideas for you to consider.

You mentioned that your endo suggested a counselor but you are seeing a psychiatrist. It sounds like you are receiving anti-dedpressants but it was not clear if you are actually receiving counseling. The psychiatrist can certainly help you through anti-depressants. If you are concerned that you aren't noticing any difference in the way that you feel, I would encourage you to let him/her know and see if your dosage needs to be adjusted.

But still, are you talking to a counselor on a regular basis? This would most like be a person with a master's degree in counseling or social work, who would meet with you on a regular - most likely weekly - basis. During these sessions, you would have an opportunity to talk about how you are feeling emotionally and to focus on developing coping skills to deal with what you have facing you in life right now. You might look for a counselor or therapist (the two terms are used interchangeably) who uses cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). You can find this person through your behavioral health coverage or through your community mental health department.

Hearing that you are a caregiver for an aging parent also raised a red flag for me, having just gone through that myself for a couple of years. No one can possibly understand how stressful and emotionally wrenching it can be to care for an aging parent until you have actually gone through it themselves. I would really encourge you do a couple of things on this front. One, is there anyone who can help you with some of these tasks? Have you looked in to any home-based services that your mom's supplementary insurance or Medicare might cover? This is a lot to do on your own.

You might also look into a support group for adult children involved in taking care of aging parents. It's really important to get support wherever you can.

Having a supportive friend, or a clergyperson, can also be helpful during this time, someone who can listen without judgment and without trying to tell what to do.

And of course, you have lots of supportive friends here on Diabetic Connect. I hope you will stay connected with us! Let us know what's on your mind. Keep us posted!

Gary

Gizmomey
Gizmomey 2011-01-20 14:31:13 -0600 Report

Hi Baxter, I took care of my mom for 21 years after my dad passed. My mom passed march of 2008. I havetwo children an dit is very hard to take care of your mom. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Do you have siblings or a good friend that can help you? Don't ever feel like a failure if you need to ask for help. It means that you care for you and your mom because you have to take care of yourself to take care of your mom. I will keep you in my prayers and if you hvaen't already add me as a friend and we can always send emails back and forth.

MewElla
MewElla 2011-01-20 14:28:30 -0600 Report

My heart goes out to you…You are on overload with all the demands on you plus dealing with disease, animals, etc. I certainly recognize all of this. It is very hard to be a caregiver and nuture everyone and everything all around you and still keep your head on straight. I did this for a number of years, and so many times I wanted to run and scream "How bout me?" but I was not the issue, my patient was. This is most vital for you to have a release and I found the best help for me was to talk to someone who would listen and not judge me, just let me vent, then I could take a breath and go back to it a better person. You have found a site where we are here for you, anytime. Any thing I can help you with, please let me know. I said a prayer for you that you can find some peace in all of this.

Two painful feet
Two painful feet 2011-01-20 14:12:29 -0600 Report

Hello, I feel for you and wish you the best in your future. Is there a support group for care givers near you? I know it is hard to be a care giver. I was care giver for my Mother for a number of years. Plus fight the problems of post polio which is progressive. I finally had to get someone else to care for her. As my body couldn't keep up with demand. I know you love your Mother but there mightg come a time when you can't take care of her. I know she would understand if you have to make this decision. Your support team is here on Diabetic Connect. Had your doctor put you on any thing for depression. Take a deep breath let it out and dig in to take care of yourself. I will pray for you to be able to handle things. If you need a Friend Iam here for you.
Your Friend
JoAnna

Harlen
Harlen 2011-01-20 12:13:00 -0600 Report

Well you have one now we are here for you .
I think we all have felt that way from time to time .
Looks like you have a full plate too .Feel free to email me any time I check my mail every day .
Best wishes
Harlen

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-01-20 11:25:23 -0600 Report

Howdy Baxter! Welcome to DC! Where are you located?

I am sorry you are feeling so much stress. Bring it here and share it like you have done. I am sure many wonderful people who will see your sharing and will respont compassionately to it.

I think (at least when I say something like "talk to your diabetes support team") that means talk to your Dr, your Endo, your RN, dietician, Certified Diabetes Educator ("CDE"), pharmacist ect. If your psychiatrist isn't working for you, you might want to look for a new psych. Not every psych clicks for every patient. Keep trying until one of them clicks with you.

The online inventories might be a slick way of a pharma company to try to get you to see a need to ask a Dr about a new med to combat depresion and/or stress. (WebMD is famous for something like that - shilling for big Pharma). So the results may be skewed.

I believe that when we're honest, we have days, weeks, months, where we've felt like that. ( Of course I can only speak for myself )

I am a t2, since 1995 and am on insulin since 2006. I have neuropathy of many different kinds, and my feet burn. You can see the listing on my profile. There are a couple more that werent on the list.

I have invited you to be my friend, so please accept my request so you can email me usin the DC email system. You might want to talk to me privately for some reason. I find it useful from time to time to be able to email a friend.

Welcome to DC

Blessings to you and yours,

James