There is a common theme running thru most 'Newly Diagnosed' start-ups, if not stated out-right or implied, at least inferrable from the language. Fear of what is happening followed by, perhaps even more upsetting, bewilderment over reaction(s) to the fear.
(Note to readers: Support for the above and any following contentions
is found in almost any thread on this site. Not going to waste space on
the shared obvious.)
I think most of us went on a similar emotional roller-coaster ride when we were 1st diagnosed. It's normal, it's to be expected, and it is NOTHING to feel guilty about. It's called being human and it's because we care.
We worry that we may become if not a burden, at least a bother, to our
families and friends.
We care about their feelings toward us.
We care about their possible reactions to the various social and
interpersonal circumstances that will arise.
And let's be honest. We positively anguish over the personal
sacrifice and pain we are going to suffer to mitigate these cares
OK. This last one brings on a little selfish guilt, too.
But again, we're human and since we're being a little selfish here let's consider (rationalize ?) that maybe, …
(Wait for it)
… in the circumstance we're in, being the best 'self' we can be is the best thing we can do for ouselves and those we love.
"Great advice, Larry. You've made it all better already"
Ok, maybe a little succinct.
The best way to deal with all this? Follow the advice I got at the time — Live on this site for a day or two, or, like me, maybe the rest of your life. All of these people know what you're going thru, but more important, they can show you what you're going to be going thru in the next few days, weeks and months.
Even more importantly, they care. This is perhaps the most prevalent theme thru-out this whole site.
I've been using these angels shamelessly since last July and cannot emphasize enough the importance of knowing your feelings and emotions are not just OK but are probably, more or less, exactly what you should be going thru.
—- Just reread and am sorry if this is a little blunt. It's just that I am passionate (obsessive?) about the guilt trip and how much energy is wasted (I wasted) trying to 'not go there' —-
Go ahead, go there, it's OK to be human. Rave, rant, cry, do whatever your vent is.
Then come here and see what being human is really all about, why it's OK and, most importantly, why it's do-able.
These guys will prove it to you. I speak from experience.
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