Frustration/Depression regarding being a pin-cushion for Pump and CGM....

SRicci15
By SRicci15 Latest Reply 2011-01-19 12:52:45 -0600
Started 2011-01-17 18:37:26 -0600

Hi. Not sure how this works… I just joined. I am Type 1 on the pump, and just started using a Continuous Glucose Monitor. I am a CRA and travel extensively. I am also very dedicated to physical exercise (road bicycling) and an overall healthy lifestyle. I became Type 1 at age 25.
I am terribly weepy the past week. I am feeling sorry for myself and angry at others who do nothing regarding healthy living, but do not have any ailments. I feel like a freak, a machine - I beep, vibrate, light up, my battery dies at inopportune times, I run out of insulin, I get sweaty and shaky and irritable (ask my husband!). I need to know others feel this way too… anyone? No one around me can sympathize and I feel very alone. After 13 years you'd think I would be cool with being diabetic, but if anything it is getting harder.
I am on the pity pot and can't get off.
Thanks.


7 replies

Jeanette Terry
Jeanette TerryPA 2011-01-19 11:33:19 -0600 Report

I have tried the continous glucose monitor and hated it. It made me feel like you have described here. Like a pin cusion and a machine. I have had a pump for 11 years and have been fine with it, but i just couldn't get used to the cgm as well. Somehow it also affected me emotionally and I just couldn't do it. But we learn by trial and error so I hope you find a system that works for you. We are all here for you.

Aaron1977
Aaron1977 2011-01-18 19:48:24 -0600 Report

I've had type 1 for 27 years. I struggle with the same problems and although my wife is very supportive - she can't really understand what I'm going through all the time. From my experience - it is healthy to sit on the "pity pot" for a brief period of time every now and then - but you have to man-up and do the best you can with the cards you've been dealt. My advice is to let your feelings out - then shake em off and get back to what makes life worth living. In my case it is my wife and 2 kids. There isn't anything I can do about being diabetic - but I can work hard to stay healthy and make sure I can be there for them as they grow up.

As far as the CGM's - I am actually considering using them right now. I have the Minimed Paradigm pump. I'm very active and have had struggles with pump sites and working out - so I'm curious if the CGM's stick any better than the pump sites. Do you have any advice?

SRicci15
SRicci15 2011-01-18 20:46:06 -0600 Report

Thanks. I am feeling better, and back to taking it in stride.
The CGM has a very intimidating needle… However, the stick is no worse than the pump. It has taken me a few frustrated, teary trial and errors (once in a hotel room in Chicago while there on business) but I am starting to get the gist of it. I also downloaded the Carelink USB onto my computer so I can now download info and send it to my doctor.
I am extremely active, and I sweat more than anyone I know while working out. My sites sometimes get irritated, but I figure it comes with the territory. I think it is worth a try… however expensive if insurance doesn't cover it. I have lows while exercising, frequent highs (410 just an hour ago) due to airbubbles in the line, too many carbs, etc… I am type A personality and hate how I cannot control this stupid disease.
I hope this helps you - your comments help me. :)

Shannon

Aaron1977
Aaron1977 2011-01-19 12:52:45 -0600 Report

Glad to hear you are feeling better! I also have lows/highs when I work out. I recently learned that dehydration can sometimes cause your sugar levels to go up. I sweat a lot so for me that was big. Quick story - I used to run after work for 3 miles and would constantly have serious lows have way through the run. I started eating a bag of skittles 20 minutes before I ran and I would still have the lows - but then later my sugar level would sky rocket. I learned that during intense exercise your body may completely stop digesting food and then continue again after you stop working out. I was amazed - it explained why the bag of pure sugar didn't raise my levels. Plus when I would was low and I'd have more carbs, and then the skittles would hit me - so I was double hitting myself with carbs without realizing it- causing the sky rocket an hour after working out.

Needless to say it was very frustrating. Currently - I workout in the mornings before breakfast. I don't have any IOB and I think that is how I'm able to workout longer without the lows. It seemed before that balancing insulin on board with food prior to a workout didn't really work for me - so it helps me to do it before any boluses.

If you have any tips for me on working out - please pass them along - I'm always open to trying new things (and I'm not a fan of waking up at 5:00am everyday) :)

Harlen
Harlen 2011-01-17 21:42:22 -0600 Report

Hello and welcome
I to am on the pump so I know what you mean (pin-cushion )
dose seam to get harder from time to time but it dose go back to being ez
We all get down from time to time Your doing great keep up the great work .
Best wishes
Harlen

digitaldoorbell
digitaldoorbell 2011-01-17 20:32:09 -0600 Report

I am clearly not an expert on any of this. I am a newly-diagnosed Type 2. I have to say, though, I think it's perfectly appropriate for you to have these feelings and I think it's even better to share them. Anyone who denies feeling this way, at some level, I think is in denial. You should be concerned about your health and well being. I hope, at a minimum, this site serves to allow each of us and all of us to collectively vent on occassion (or as frequently as necessary).

I wish you the best

Scott

Pammy4
Pammy4 2011-01-17 20:27:13 -0600 Report

Hello ShannonR,
Trust me when I say you are not alone! It's lots of people out here feeling what your feeling and don't have anyone to talk to, to understand what you are dealing with. Not everyone has an computer. Hi my name is Pam and I have type 1 diabetes and for 22 years now. My diabetes is a tricky one, it's always high no matter how healthy I eat. I am married with 4 children and 2 step children. I don't exercise like I should but I'm no couch potato so running around doing this and that and taking care of my 2 year old all day is my exercise! I lived with my high sugar levels for many years and 9 months ago I decided to try the pump and that was the best things I could have ever done. I've had to be strong for the sake of my kids that my feelings are all balled up inside! I decided to try some blogs or something. I have a twin sister who has diabetes too, and now my son and daughter has it too! I know how your feeling, trust me I do! It still bothers me to especially sense my children share my experience now.

Reading your post made me laugh about your body beepn, vibrating, and lighting up! i was like "I know Right"!

Take it one day at a time and see yourself with a Special gift! People with lots of money or no money and no health issues living their life with other issues far more off than ours! :)

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