PLEASE HELP ME!!!! I want to live

By phatgirl Latest Reply 2011-07-28 11:21:47 -0500
Started 2011-01-10 21:34:11 -0600

OK …This is a do or die thing for me( doctors words).I need to lose ALOT of weight and I am having NO luck!!! As you can look at my profile you will se i have ALOT of health problems along with morbid obese.I need very LOW SODIUM or better yet NO SODIUM receipes.And exercise tips (i can only walk a few feet) "EMBARRASING"I recently REDEDICATED my life to GOD.That has helped tremendously with my depression.I am seeking help from my great friends on here and anyone who wants to chat or share stories.GOD BLESS

45 replies

Dixiemom 2011-07-26 19:58:21 -0500 Report

There is a website called Sit & Be Fit. I used it when I was first diagnosed with this neuropathy.All exercxise is done sitting down. Check it out and see if it will help your situation.

jayabee52 2011-07-26 20:09:29 -0500 Report

here's the website link: I also found out there are u-tube videos on the u-tube site which have exercises.

Dixiemom 2011-07-26 20:28:37 -0500 Report

thanks for posting the website. It's been so long since I used it I forgot.

jayabee52 2011-07-26 20:36:23 -0500 Report

one can click a link on that website to find out if and when the program airs on your local PBS station. And after fiddling a bit with the website which came up actually found it does air on my station in Las Vegas.

diabetes control
diabetes control 2011-07-26 17:56:07 -0500 Report

I have a nephew that is a wide body, and will always be. He lost 167 pounds. His secretwas to work out for an hour, now in your case get some small hand weight and sit in a chair, turn on the music, use your imagination for the arms, for the legs do some displacements moves, and this could actually be fun. Now he lost the weight by eating raw carrots, broccoli and steaming them. Like Jayabee, have two boil eggs in the morning with a piece of bagel with jelly and coffeel. Middle meals roasted chicken or fish and salads. I have been stuck my self. Be positive and keep plugging and one day it will get easier,

jayabee52 2011-07-26 19:27:24 -0500 Report

I don't have the bagel, jelly or coffee. I say as far away from carbs as I can and bagel with jelly (even sugar free or no sugar added) is a chrbohydrate BOMB! I would rather keep my carbs limited and use my limited carbs for something with some good nutrition in it, like blueberries or strawberries.

VickieF 2011-07-26 21:04:45 -0500 Report

I freeze strawberries and for my bedtime snack I run them thruogh the iceshaver and then a couple of icecubes after I do the berries. I put them in a nice desert glass and mix the ice and berries and enjoy the treat. (The desert glass is a mind pleaser). In the morning I find my fasting sugar is close to normal (118-145) as long as the pain is too.

jayabee52 2011-07-26 22:36:10 -0500 Report

that sounds really good. I have a loose bag of frozen strawberries. I'll have to try that in my Ninja blender after I get home tomorrow. I'm kinda spoiled at my mom's. I've I've been here. But it's time to go home.

MewElla 2011-01-12 13:58:55 -0600 Report

Keep thinking positive thoughts and make each new day a beginning whatever you can do for yourself. When I get slightly hungry I grab a bottle of ice cold water and this hydrates and fills me up. I had fallen years ago and broke my back and had trouble years later with pain in my legs, but was determined to try and walk a few steps everyday which I called my babysteps. I could see I made it further everyday. NOW, I walk 5-6 miles outside everyday for almost 1 year since my diagnosis. I kept telling myself if there is a will I will find a way. Good Luck to you.

Brenda_B 2011-01-12 00:57:06 -0600 Report

Have you ever though about weight loss surgery? I know everyone wants to do the "real" way… diet, excercise,… but some time that is just not possible. Gastic surgery will get the wieght off so you can get back to walking and enjoying life. Most insurance and Medicare will pay for the surgery becuase it will save them a lot of money in the long run. And most weight loss surgery centers have GREAT support groups… The surgery is only the first part. You must make a lot of positive changes in your life, but with the one big hurdle changed the others changes are easy.

jayabee52 2011-01-12 12:59:57 -0600 Report

I agree with what Brenda said, especially the part about the need to make positive changes in your life.

I had a friend who was so heavy she had to have both knees replaced. She convinced her insurer to pay for the gastric surgery (this was about 10 years ago and I don't remember which type it was.) She did great for a while and lost about 200 lbs. Had the plastic surgery to remove her excess skin.

I lost track of her for a while, but met her again at a dance class. She was restricted to 3 oz of food per meal. But last time I saw her, about 1.5 years ago, she wasn't following those guidelines and was putting the weight back on. So it is a change ou must take on for the rest of your life, or don't waste your money.

I can't tell you not to do it, just be aware of the restrictions you'll have after the surgery and make your choice. Personally, I wouldn't do it, I don't think I can abide by the restrictions. but hat's just me. I want to do this more naturally. You have to do what you can abide by.

In any case, blessings to you nd yours.


VickieF 2011-07-26 21:13:17 -0500 Report

I so agree with the positive changes you need to make. Might I be so bold as to sugest that the second one (you already did the first) be to give yourself a positive name instead of a negative one. You are "GODS'GIFT" not phatgirl. ;) Besides it is going to be so wrong once you loose the weight. A positive name for a positive girl.
If I've overstepped , please forgive me.

phatgirl 2011-01-12 13:51:36 -0600 Report

I only have nedicaide so i am not able to get weight loss surgery anyway. And I do not think I could do the 3 oz of food at a time either.I have cut way back on sodium.And trying to eat right and i am feeling better.It will take awhile but…I have hope this time around.I thank everyone for all the advice. KEEP IT COMING! IT HELPS!!!! GOD BLESS

nursepat1 2011-07-28 11:21:47 -0500 Report

I have found that as I try to make better food choices it seems to get easier to make those choices. Don't get me wrong it takes a while for the new habits to sink in, but I have lost almost 30# since the beginning of the year. If you eat something that is not so good, then just adjust at the next meal; we all need a treat every now and then. The key is to shoot for making more good decisions than bad and realizing that the weight did not go on overnight nor will it come off overnight.

Brenda_B 2011-01-12 18:38:46 -0600 Report

Have you ask them if they would pay for weight loss surgery. It will save them money in the long run because you become healthy again… less meds, less health complication, etc.

Sure if you can do it the natural way is the best…. serious calorie restriction to lose weight… forcing yourself to walk more every day. Ok you can only do a few feet now… That is a starting point…. every day do those few feet a couple of times a day and at the end of the week add a few steps more! A lot of people don’t have the discipline and the drive to do this… the whole process seems totally over whelming. They give up whine and cry and do nothing…. You said you want your life back… I believe in you, I believe you can stick with a plan to get your life back.

As a side note… you aren't restricted to 3 oz of food… LOL…. I think someone told James that to explain her not sticking to the program. You DO eat less because you get full… over full really quickly. Maybe that is how much food she could eat before she started feeling too full… The surgery is a tool to help you move back to a life you want to live! If after you have the surgery you eat REALLY high calorie food all day… if you continue to stuff yourself after you are full… if you don't take advantage of the ability of walk and dance again… Etc. You can gain some of the weight back…
I wanted to have the Lap-Band surgery but couldn’t for a weird health issue that I will not go into right now. But I have stayed involved with the support group. I try to eat healthy like the support group encourages… (but without the lap-ban I don’t get full as quickly as the others in the group… so it much harder for me to quit eating after a small meal) I have joined their walking group… and I have lost a bit of weight… a very little bit… 15 lb, but I have kept if off for 5 years. (I recently changed some other food things in my life… no “white stuff” and have lost another 20 lbs… great but…ugh…. I need to lose another 50)… I have friends who had the surgery YEAR ago and have lost over 100 lbs or more. They live very good lives now because of the help this surgery provided… including getting off diabetic and high blood pressure meds … including not having to watch their salt intake like a hawk.

Weight loss surgery is not magic… it is only a tool to help you get your life back.

DORO2 2011-01-20 09:05:45 -0600 Report

yes… thank you brenda.. the surgery is a tool and some ppl need more tools than others. u are a very informative person. thank you again

jayabee52 2011-01-13 00:28:43 -0600 Report

Actually M herself told me about the 3oz, and I am sure it wasn't lap band, I don't think the bariatric surgery was not as popular then, and they didn't seem to have support groups, at least that I knew of. I think with the passiage of time and more experience with the surgeries things have improved for before and after care for folks who have had the surgery.

Ray 731 likes to urge so start out with "baby steps", & I agree. Start slow and work up to where you would like to be., no matter which choice you make regarding surgery.

gorrilla 2011-01-15 14:20:31 -0600 Report

Wife had the gastric bypass, little over a year ago. She is very strong willed (read that hard headed) but is using that to her advantage. She was somewhere north of 240 on a 5'4" frame, had to loose a certain percentage before surgery to qualify for the surgery. Doctor's rule to be sure the patients are determined enough. She has become her support group's poster child.
They did the laproscopic bypass procedure, so the scaring was minimal. She then stuck to the diet like it was scripture, lost fully half her weight. Had to gain a bit back to get her color back. She's now about 135, fully recovered from reconstructive plastic surgery. Looks like a different person, and should live much longer, also. I had warned about the reconstructive surgery being a necessary part of all of it. She thought she could excercise that extra skin away. Not likely.
Fortunately, her insurance paid for the bypass. But the reconstruct was on her dime. Insurance won't likely cover it for most.
She wanted me to consider it, since I'm diabetic. My BMI is right on the border for what the insurance would cover without any other factors. The diabetis pushes me into the category that they will pay for.
Interesting thing about gastric bypass and diabetis. Most, NOT ALL, diabetics go on the table diabetic, and come off not diabetic. They are doing a lot of research about exactly why this is, and in Brazil, word is they're using the surgery as a treatment for diabetis. Not yet in the States, but it may happen eventually. The diet would probably cause enough weight lose on it's own. Diet is what scared me off. Even after recovering from the surgery, the amount of food you are supposed to eat is tiny. At my peak, I would eat more in one serving than my wife eats now. Not one platefull, one serving of one item! The whole meal will fit in the palm of one's hand!
Nothing fried, no caffiene, can't drink through a straw, no alcohol, no gum, the list goes on and on. But if you have the will power, it works.

Brenda_B 2011-01-20 12:49:14 -0600 Report

Thanks for the response. This surgery really does save lives… I have seen this kind of success in the group I'm with. Most have NOT had plastic surgery for the extra skin… they say it's not important…lol… I guess it is not as important as being able to breathe easier or getting off diabetic meds… ***side note insurance will pay for tummy-tuck if extra skin is causing a problem like constant skin rash.
*** Now as for you. Have you though about Lab-band. It is band around the top of your stomach that is filled with saline to make the stomach smaller pouch. IF you totally hate the whole thing and want your old life back (?). The lap band can stay in place and you can just have the saline removed.
I stick witht the plan… sort of… eating protine first, nothing though a staw, no alcohol… except I eat a whole lot more than my friends eat… I have lost some weight… (But I couldn't live with out my gum!) I really need to lose a LOT more weight but don't think that is going to happen.
*** another side note… your BMI has to be 35 or higher to get insurance and/or Medicare to pay for the surgery… OR MBI of 25 with weight related health problems. I’m now under that limit… at this point I would have to gain about 20 lbs (eeek) before Medicare would pay for the surgery.

Kirla 2011-01-11 19:47:09 -0600 Report

I found drinking lots of water. Eating lots of low carb vegetables. Testing before and after I eat and cutting back or eliminating high carb starchy foods to help control blood sugar spikes helped me a lot. I also follow a low carb diet like Atkins to help control weight and blood sugar

Good luck

Harlen 2011-01-11 14:48:26 -0600 Report

To get started working out sit in the chair and life one leg at a time for 20 sec rest 5 min then do the other leg it helps to have the tv on when your doing this
I know it seams that I am making fun but I am not joking you got to start some where start small and work you way up and dont over do it
Best wishes

RaleighDave 2011-07-26 20:52:54 -0500 Report

Harlen, I agree. I just stopped Actos against my doctors wishes and I have femoral patella syndrome where my knees kill me. I'm riding the bike 30 minutes 3 times a week now. When I started I only did stretching at physical therapy. Phatgirl you can do stretching exercises that are easy to do in the home. I found a book on Core Conditioning at SAMs Club. Once you limber some you can ease into exercise while you keep a positive attitude. Change is change so don't give up. Decide what you can do and do it. I stopped taking Celexa too almost 3 weeks ago and I'm not depressed anymore. I decided I am going to lick my weight problem and I'll change doctors if I have to.

phatgirl 2011-01-11 22:33:16 -0600 Report

Thank you…I did what you suggested..I will keep up on it untill i can do more.

Harlen 2011-01-12 11:49:17 -0600 Report

start small andkeep working I know you can do it .
Take your time and go slow dont over do it
Best wishes

LKldSugarbear 2011-01-11 11:01:43 -0600 Report

I find that we must take one day at a time, Im loseing the weight by walking. start short walks and build week by week. Eat your planed meals and beleave in youself you can do it.

Ocean's Breeze
Ocean's Breeze 2011-07-26 19:55:03 -0500 Report

Yeah, I thought I would start walking and could start at 3 miles in 45 minutes. Boy was I wrong about what I could do. So now I've found my "starting point" of 35 minutes and 1.9 miles. Now I go to small steps to build my endurance up. My husband says he will be my accountability partner but he usually isn't very good in holding me accountable.

GabbyPA 2011-01-11 10:45:55 -0600 Report

It looks like you are gaining a good support system of people to help you through. You just need to develop some accountability with them so you are kind of pushed into some sort of action and held accountable. What I find is that being here keeps me accountable in a lot of ways.

Here are some exercises you can do seated:
Don't feel you have to do it all at once. Start where you can and try to increase it as you go.

This is a new discussion on a device called the FitBit and it looks great!
It will track all the activity you do.

I am doing my Diabetes Job Jar and it has been a fun way to motivate me to do a new thing every day. You make the cards that go in it, so they can be at a level that you are comfortable with and a few that push you to a new limit.

There is also a Diet and Exercise discussion where people go on and list what they are eating, how much they are exercising. Not to compare, but just a way to develop some accountability to sticking to the goals we make.

We are here to help.

oncountydavid 2011-01-11 00:53:31 -0600 Report

I too am morbidly obese and it is so hard for me to lose weight as I am disabled. Trying to lose weight with my diet is tough as I too deal with depression. Life is a struggle but we have to do it dear. With each others help here, that is a plus to keep one motivated. Good luck.

phatgirl 2011-01-11 08:14:25 -0600 Report

Thank you!
Wow we have alot in common…I also have degenerative bone and disk disease…herniated disk(had surgery for) DID NOT HELP made things WORSE! My best friend lives 75 miles from me.I live away from everybody and everything.I get SOOOOOO lonesome. My Mom meant EVERYTHING to me and she passed away.I have never had children.Been married 22 yrs.he is 16 yrs older than me.And when he is home he doesnt spend time with me. SOOOOO i'm still ALONE!I do have a cat named PHAT GIRL…she makes me happy (crazy huh?)ok…i weigh almost 400 lbs…can only walk a few feet.I have recently rededicated my life to GOD.I look forward to getting to know you.

oncountydavid 2011-01-11 15:00:26 -0600 Report

I can feel for you and maybe we can be friends also. It does seem we have a lot in common. For friends, I really have none and I too feel soo alone. Depression, as I said, is hard to live with. So sorry to here about your mom. I lost my dad about ten years ago and I think that is when my major depression started. He died when I was on the road with my husband as he was a tractor trailor driver. I never forgave myself for that. As for your cat making you happy, my two chihuahuas make me happy and at times it seems llike that is all I have in the world. My weight is 359 and it seems like I cannot stop ballooning up. For a while I do ok the when I get down, food is my best friend. I can walk but with severe pain so I try not to. We have been married for 34 years and it seems everything else is more important to him then me, tv being number one so I sit here and try to keep myself occupied. I quilt much of the time or play games on pogo. Sometimes it seems like nothing is worth it in life but I keep struggling. My appt is in upstate NY and we live about 22 miles from town and family. No one comes to visit so I am quite lonely too. It was very nice to hear from you. I am 53 years old by the way. take care and keep looking towards God.

phatgirl 2011-01-11 22:21:39 -0600 Report

I also sit home and watch alot of tv.and food has become my best friend also.and my husband gets very upset with me if he has to do anything for i try not to bother him much.I feel fat,ugly and useless most of the time.But I also keep on trying to be as possitive as I can.

oncountydavid 2011-01-12 07:08:02 -0600 Report

I have a hard time with self love also and I feel that is where we have to start. When we feel better about ourselves then we will be able to take care of ourselves better. Do you have any hobbies or crafts that you enjoy? If not try to take up something new as you have to have some me time. When I get some me time I feel much better about things and everyone needs that. You are loved sweetie and I really can feel for you.

squog master
squog master 2011-01-10 21:53:07 -0600 Report

While I was in a rehab center after hernia surgery I had very weak muscles due to low body protein. While sitting I did, 1. leg lifts first without weights then with ankle weights. 2. marching motions. 3. upper body strengthening with light weights. When I was in bed, I would do other leg lifts while on my back & then while on my side. Any extra movement you do helps.

phatgirl 2011-01-10 22:32:36 -0600 Report

Thank you! I will do those things.I wonder how many i should try for at first?I'm sure anything will help.Thanks again

squog master
squog master 2011-01-11 00:04:43 -0600 Report

Anytime I've had to do Physical Therapy (and that has been a lot, if I tried to leave my body to science it would be returned damaged goods) I was always told to do 10 reps take a breather & repeat, breather, & repeat again. So it was 10 reps 3x for a total of 30. So when I do exersices like this at home now I follow that pattern. When I was still weak my brother would come every weekend to help me out. We would play a game of cards then in between the games I would do a set of exersices. When I first came home I was still using a walker, so sometimes also between games I would walk from the front to the back of my condo & back again. As I got stronger I would add more times. Sometimes I would try to see how many times I could get before he finished shuffling & dealing the cards for the next game. During the week when he wasn't here. I would play solitaire or do puzzle books. Then I would do my reps after 3 games or 3 puzzles. Or if I am reading a book after every 2 chapters. I also put myself in Gods hands as you have. Miracles happen to those who believe. Believe in yourself as much as you believe in God.