emotional roller coaster and complacent

By birch21 Latest Reply 2011-01-28 09:56:13 -0600
Started 2011-01-02 19:05:47 -0600

How do I even start? Right now I am pretty much on an emotional roller coaster and wishing it would stop. I have become complacent about my diabetes which I should never have done as now I can't seem to find the motivation I need to get myself back on track. I can beat myself up but then I am still where I don't want to be. Help! I am really trying to watch what I eat but my wants are outweighing my good intentions of not eating. Help! I know that I need people around me to help me be accountable but I don't have many close friends and they are not diabetics. I have Mom but she tends to get on the side of fussing more at me than helping me. I know her intentions are only for good but sometimes the fussing is coming at the wrong time and with me usually fussing only makes me worse. Mom is not a diabetic and is not a bit overweight. She has a very high metabolism and can run circles around me. Mom is 77 yrs young and has the liver of a 16 yrs old. Look at me going on and on. I apologize for grumbling when I can and will have to be the one to take care of myself. Thanks for this site where one can spout off when the need rises at least I hope it is okay to spout off. I will shut up now.

67 replies

glee9349 2011-01-10 17:15:59 -0600 Report

i would like to reply to what gabby said about motivation and putting things on paper in a box. I have a notebook that i use for similar things as you do and it is a great idea. It keeps me on track and gives me the feeling that it isn't always so bad.

birch21 2011-01-10 17:44:34 -0600 Report

I agree. I go back later and see where I have written and then get motivated all over again to keep journaling. When you read all that you go through then it means more to you and the motivation to stay on track is for me a bit easier.

PetiePal 2011-01-06 14:02:26 -0600 Report

Don't get discouraged. It's very easy when you're part of the "club nobody wants to be a member of." The first 2 months after I was diagnosed I was pretty bummed and felt like I might burst into tears a few times. It IS an emotional roller coaster. A good way to look at it is that Diabetes isn't a life-ending thing. It IS a life-changer…but there are SO many people out there who battle it daily…AND succeed!

A good suggestion might be to check into location Diabetic counseling services. Most hospitals have a center or there may be one nearby that you can find either counseling or a support group. Sometimes the extra push you need may be support IN PERSON. Unless a person IS a diabetic and goes through what we do on a daily basis it's hard for them to fully understand or be sympathetic or give the encouragement you might really be needing.

We're ALWAYS here for you, so do never shut up! There's no whining in diabetes and no stupid questions or discussions…the only foolish thing is to give up and stop trying. Hang in there!

jayabee52 2011-01-07 00:07:07 -0600 Report

My personal feeling about "stupid questions" is there ARE stupid questions. My definition of a stupid question is a sincere question which is not asked!

birch21 2011-01-06 20:13:46 -0600 Report

Thanks, you don't know how much I really needed to hear that and to know that I am not facing this alone although sometimes it seems that way. I knew when I was diagnoised that there were and are lots and lots of people around me that also are diabetic yet even though you know they are there it is really hard to communicate with them. I do have an adversary where I work and she has been a real help to me at times. Here daughter has been a diabetic all of her life and is now on a pump. The Mom and her Husband are at least I think they are still very much involved with a diabetes camp so I get to talk with her at least once a week. She is one of the teachers where I work and as I said she has really a help to me. Just this week she gave me the pep talk to really watch my sugar levels and to get myself back on track. She didn't critize me she showed concern which I greatly appreciated. Hope you have a good evening.

Bill T from Mind Over Diabetes
Bill T from Mind Over Diabetes 2011-01-06 09:27:11 -0600 Report

We have been having a good reaction to the Behavior Change Assessment that we have on the MindOverDiabetes.org site. We found that when you know your change style it helps you motivate yourself. Try it it's free and only takes a few minutes. I would appreciate any comments since we are trying to get it out to as many people as possible. Bill T

birch21 2011-01-06 20:07:41 -0600 Report

Thanks I will have to give it a try. So far have had a pretty good day. Been on the foot to long and it is hurting as is some other areas. From my fall on Monday I have been back to the chiropractor because I pulled some muscles in and around my collar bone and boy am I sore from that. Doc said when I fell because of the way I was holding my stuff and twisted when I fell I jammed everything in on the collar bone and pulled the muscles. Oh well I will survive this to. Better yet, this to shall pass.

tjaxxson 2011-01-05 00:53:24 -0600 Report

Hey I'm Tonia and new to the site so far I love it. I've just been diagnosed with type 2. Although I know alot about it from family It's not always the same with everyone.I wish you all the luck on your journey and I am here as a friend to see you through. I know we all need the help and support I know I do..

ivonalvarez 2011-01-09 22:34:47 -0600 Report

tj thank you for wishing all of us luck I know im going to need it. As for everyone else its good to be here with so many people that are going thru the same things as me. I have my family but no one understands so its not the same. Thank you everyone for your support.

GabbyPA 2011-01-05 07:00:27 -0600 Report

Welcome to the community, Tonia! We are glad you have joined us and you will find all kinds of great support here from the members. That is so true that every person is different. At least you have some experience with it. I did too, but was surprised at how much I was not paying attention. I've learned so much here. I hope you will too.

birch21 2011-01-04 15:04:24 -0600 Report

Good afternoon folks, didn't know if I could log in from work or not but sure enough I can. Just wanted to give an update. Got up this morning and before coming to work got in some stretches, had a biscuit with butter and a glass of cinnamon tea for breakfast. Went backwards just a bit and had a piece of peppermint and a rolo after getting to work but have been good the rest of the day. Lunch consisted of a salad with turkey pepperoni and thousand island dressing and a few wheat crackers with only a small glass of diet coke. Working on 2nd bottle of water now and have had a some sugar free candies this afternoon. Feeling good and proud of myself. Even have lost a couple of pounds since last week. I am also back to journaling so now I have 2 journals to work on one for my feet and one for my diabetes. Thanks for all the great support I am getting I really appreciate it. Check back in when I get home. Have a good afternoon one and all.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-01-03 14:05:43 -0600 Report

Hey birch21,

Nice to meet you! First, don't ever shut up! That's that last thing you will ever hear from your friends on Diabetic Connect.

It's understandable that you would be feeling frustrated. It's hard to stay on any kind of a diet when we live in a world of constant food tempations, and most of these temptations not very helpful. And making diet and lifestyle changes are really difficult at any age because our habits begin during early childhood and become hardwired. Change is definitely achievable, but it is a process.

Changing habits doesn't happen overnight. If you are having difficulty making changes, then it might help to take a few steps back and reexamine your strategy. Ask yourself:

Am I trying to use sheer willpower to go cold turkey and completely change my eating habits overnight?

Am I working with a dietician who has helped me to find a diet that is as compatible as possible with my food preferences and lifestyle?

Do I know how to implement my diet in steps so that I implement change in a way that is realistic?

Do I have ways of rewarding myself for staying with the program?

Am I learning new self-talk so that I can encourage myself to stay compliant rather than beating myself up?

Do I have a holistic approach to my self-care, which includes an exercise plan, as well as my emotions and spiritual sides?

Do I have a supportive team in place to help me stay on track?

Now, for your mom... Your mom loves you and wants you to be as healthy as possible. She probably also feels helpless when she sees that you are not following your diet. Human beings don't do well with helplessness. In your mom's case, it causes her to be, well, motherly, to try to step in at either fuss over you, and try to take control over what you eat, or to fuss at you, by gently or not so gently scolding you. It's a normal reaction, but in your case not so helpful. And with your mom's metabolism, clearly she also doesn't really get what you are going through.

If your mom hasn't gotten educated about your condition, this might be a good time. Maybe you could participate together in a session with a CDE or attend a class together. You might also want to sit down with your mom and explain what you are going through, and what you need from her, and ask if you can come to an agreement about how to move forward in the future.

You might also enlist friends to be more supportive by explaining to them what you need, and seeing where they can help. While they don't relate to what you are going through, they might be able to respond if you outline for them how they can best help.

I would also recommend a support group, so that you can talk to other diabetics and see how they are dealing with making diet changes. Support is power.

Emotions play an important role in self-care. Make sure you have a safe place to talk about how your are feeling. You might want to consider talking to a counselor about what's going on with you, and get a perspective on self-image and motivation.

And again, don't beat up on yourself! You are surrounded by supportive people here on Diabetic Connect who are walking this pathway alongside you, and are generous both with emotional support and suggestions.

Keep us posted!

birch21 2011-01-03 16:22:23 -0600 Report

Thanks, I feel better and really needed the information you have provided. I will keep everyone posted as I trek along on this path that I am on. I am grateful that I have found this support line and will continue to improve myself and will do it gradually and not try to do everything overnight. I know to that change takes time and repetition so I will climb back on board and keep working until I get up where I belong. Thanks again. Oh by the way Mom did my dad the same way and she has been through those classes when Dad was diagnoised. I have the information that was given to them at that time. Thanks again and I hope you have a blessed week.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-01-03 17:39:10 -0600 Report

Hi, thanks for checking back in.

I am glad I gave you a few ideas that might be helpful. Fantastic. It is all about climbing back on the horse and continuing on. Through this process, you learn more about yourself, and what works best for you, and this gets you closer to your goal. Interesting that your mom has been through this with you father. She may be reacting to you out of the frustrations she might have sometimes felt when she tried to keep your father on track with his diet. Sounds like she has some fears about the future, and is trying manage you as a way of also managing her own fear. She loves you. Our parents do take a lot of patience sometimes.

As I know you have heard all too many times, patience is a virtue, with ourselves first, and then with others. But the more patient we are with ourselves, the more patience we can then project outward to the rest of the world.

I hope you have a great week too. I will be looking forward to hearing how you are doing!

birch21 2011-01-03 19:48:23 -0600 Report

Thanks, I have made a few changes already today. I did some stretching exercises standing and sitting and used a spring thing that I have named Mr. Springer that I can use to either do sit up or stand and straighten pulling mr. springer. I also ate a better couple of meals today. Turkey salad for lunch and fresh leafy salad with turkey for supper. Drinking water as well. Got a bit hungry and had some air popped pop corn no oil added. Today may have been to much of a start but I know I can do this and it will take time to make the changes work for me. I am not giving up.

ivonalvarez 2011-01-09 22:42:58 -0600 Report

For now I cant exercise cause I just had a emergency Historectomy and it still hurts. Next month I will be getting another surgery. My bladder dropped so now I need a sling put in im also worried about that. The Urologyst said that it will be fine but I worry because my Historectomy was done on November 30 but because of my diabetes it is taking so long to heal and now tomorow I have to call the Urologyst secretay to start the steps for my second surgery. Will it get any better than this.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-01-03 21:34:31 -0600 Report

Wow, fantastic! I would also guess that today's success will motivate you to do keep on track tomorrow. One day at a time, but certainly a successful day for you. Congratulations!

birch21 2011-01-03 23:25:33 -0600 Report

Thanks, need all the motivation and support I can get. Yes I believe that from the success I had today that tomorrow will work out just as good if not better. Thinking positively for a better tomorrow. Thanks again. Have a good rest of the week.

GabbyPA 2011-01-10 14:15:37 -0600 Report

Is is a jar (actually a box) that I put cards into that have daily things for me to do pertaining to my diabetes and other resolutions I made. I draw a new one every day or every week, depending on the task that is on the card. It keeps me motivated and is fun at the same time.

GabbyPA 2011-01-09 19:10:03 -0600 Report

We are having a blast with it over in the discussion. People are offering ideas of things to get us motivated. It is quite fun. Like today, my job jar card was "Jog in place during the commercials of a 1 hour show" It was harder than I thought it would be. Shows me I need to get working a little more. But the main thing is that I DID it!

birch21 2011-01-09 22:21:58 -0600 Report

I think I need a motivation job jar. I have slacked off since I began. One reason and this is no excuse is because of the fall I took on Monday the 3rd. I got up Tues., with a lot of pain in my upper chest and come to find out that when I fell I caused everything to pile in on my collar bone so I have really been sore for the past few day. As I stated this is no excuse for me not taking better care of myself and staying motivated. Tomorrow will be a good day for me to get remotivated and should be quite easy as I am going to be off from work due to snow. Most likely with the way it is snowing right now we will probably miss about the whole week. Our temps are not supposed to get much if anything above 32 until Friday when the high is supposed to be 43. Can yall or would yall please give me some ideas for a motivational job jar so I can become remotivated and get back on track. Hope everyone has a wonderful week to come. Mine is starting out with being snowed in. I am not planning to get out unless it is absolutely necessary. Our governor has declared a state of emergency. We are expected to recieve between 4-9 inces of snow if not more. Right now it looks like we have about 3 maybe more and it started snowing around 8:30 CST this evening.

birch21 2011-01-10 17:32:13 -0600 Report

I think I will add doing leg lifts to my list. Right now am trying to stay away from anything in the form of a weight so I won't drop it on my foot again. Still reeling from dropping 2lb weight on my left foot.

Mrs. Alilce
Mrs. Alilce 2011-01-03 13:17:50 -0600 Report

I have consulted a second "expert". He said some things I could not agree with, but one thing the group I was in applauded him for was vitamins. The concensus is that vitamins are not regulated so my Vit D + 3 probably wasn't that good since if it came from a chain store. I found agreement that one needs to get your vitamins from a dependable source such as a health food store or general nutrition center. I also agree that regulating blood sugars isn't all about diet, but a blend of diet, exercise, satisfaction in life, work, and relationships, even harmony with God's will.

birch21 2011-01-03 16:26:47 -0600 Report

Thanks for your input it is greatly appreciated. I am going to go and do some stretches here in just a few minutes and I thank you for the motivaton to get back in the saddle so to speak and pull myself up by the boot straps and get moving. Of course I still need to eat a bit healthier but am doing better in that area just have a long way to go. Thanks again and have a blessed week.

Mrs. Alilce
Mrs. Alilce 2011-01-26 11:20:29 -0600 Report

Hey, New Information. Twice I went to hear two separate individuals (D C) chiropractors. The first one was too young to be that bossy with me. The second I was prepared for the dedication required to "cleanse" myself from dairy, gluten, red meat, tomatoes and peanuts. Along with nutritional supplement I can eat chicken, turky, fish, fresh fruits and vegetables. Use Stevia. By Jan 31 I hope to know what my body is allergic to or what is not working proplerly. It already helped reduce swelling in my legs. You have a blessed week too.!

GabbyPA 2011-01-27 07:34:14 -0600 Report

I didn't know that chiropractors do allergy testing. I have been toying with going to see a holistic doctor a time or two to see if they can straighten me out a bit.

Mrs. Alilce
Mrs. Alilce 2011-01-27 15:25:47 -0600 Report

To be clear I did not know when I asked for the appointments, I was going to a DC because they advertised help with the symptoms I had-fatique, leg pain, neuropathy, etc. I am not a believer in chiiropractic medicine, but I am glad when it helps others. The DC's I am currently seeing, have a man that does the hands-on type. Evidently this is a new wave of information that they are teaching in this field. The 3 I know just went to a conference in Denver on it.
Before anything I had to have blood work, saliva tests, and stool tests above any test I have ever had completed previously. Then by using nutritional supplements and omitting the most frequent food allergens, we spend 21 days cleansing or I call it getting off artifical ingredients, sugars, trans fats, etc. Check me again on January 31 and I'll tell you what we uncovered that unbalanced my system.

jayabee52 2011-01-27 23:04:24 -0600 Report

it will be interesting to see what your experience will be. When Jem was alive we took in the 20 something daughter of a friend who was having disagreements with her dad.

She had gluten intolerance, & followed the book "eating for your blood type" I no longer remember her blood type but she said she had to eat beef and avoid chicken. And had to, of course, avoid products containing gluten.

I might have to find the book for my blood type and see what it I'm supposed to eat & avoid.

GabbyPA 2011-01-28 07:45:56 -0600 Report

I have heard great things about that book. I have a friend who has used it to help put his cancer in remission.

Mrs. Alilce
Mrs. Alilce 2011-01-28 09:56:13 -0600 Report

Yes, both my dr and the book recommend wild caught (not farm raised) fish especially salmon. I cannot learn to eat fish that is not fried and battered with cornmeal. I really eat fish to get the hushpuppies! A restaurant near my home is now serving salmon steaks grilled. I'm thinking "let them cook so I don't have to touch it or smell it cooking and maybe I can eat my 3 oz and give the rest to my husband" lol

He also reommends rolled oats, but my dr put me on cream of buckwheat, something to do with gluten I may be alleric to. (I love oats, craisins, walnuts, cinnamon)

tomecom 2011-01-03 12:56:20 -0600 Report

birch21: I recommend that you start taking an all natural multivitamin every day. We diabetics have common deficiencies that cause our body to stop producing some important amino acids; which are responsible for regulating our blood sugars, our mood (depression), energy levels, and weight- just to name a few.

If you need help finding a good quality multivitamin (not those from Walmart or Walgreens) let me know. I will give you some websites where you can order them. I have been on them for several years and have completely eliminated many control problems, energy level problems, depression, fog brain, and a lot of other things that we otherwise do not realize are related to diabetes.

birch21 2011-01-03 16:24:33 -0600 Report

Had not thought about the vitamins and come to think of it I would do well to be on a good multivitamin as I am sure I don't get all the nutrients that I need. I would be pleased if you could provide me with those websites so that I can find the right multivitamin for me. Thanks again. Hoping you will have a blessed week.

tomecom 2011-01-05 08:59:41 -0600 Report

birch21: email me at nelsonthomase@gmail.com small and I will forward the infromation to you. I will include an article that I have that expains why synthetic vitamins are not good for diabetics.

jayabee52 2011-01-05 12:50:47 -0600 Report

Howdy Tomecon
would there be a way we could all here on DC gain access to that article?
I would like to read it and add it to my knowledge base.

Blessings to you and yours


Harlen 2011-01-02 22:08:30 -0600 Report

Yep ben there done that lol
I just ask myself one thing do I need it or wish it ???
Some times I just want some thing and every so often I let me have it lol baklava
And some times I need it lol
When I go off and let it get out of hand I need to go back to step one start righting it all down the BS the food the insulin the hole thing
Best wishes

birch21 2011-01-02 23:14:35 -0600 Report

Thanks it is good to know that we are never alone in this fight. I have forgotten to write things down concerning my diabetes but I should be considering that I am journaling like crazy with my left foot. Thanks again and I believe I will start another journal and get myself back on track.

Edie 2011-01-02 22:50:33 -0600 Report

harlen I just got off the Roller Coaster, I begged Doc for pills and leave the insulin behind as it is to costly for me right now. He said lose weight and then I take you off of the insulin. I said take the insulin and then I lose the weight as it is the insulin keeping the weight on me. LOL
3 weeks ago I got my 2nd pill and have lost almost 5 pounds now. With the pills back I am watching what I eat alot closer than before. Don't wnat to go back on insulin. My motivation to lose weight is 2 pictures of me on the Freezer the most recent one of just over a Month ago and the other one of me at age 17. Guress what I also have pictures of Sisters on the Frig to keep me out of there as well. They are both alot bigger than me and if that isn't enough motavation I don't know what is.

Harlen 2011-01-03 19:40:48 -0600 Report

What are your blood sugars running?

birch21 2011-01-03 19:54:09 -0600 Report

Not as I would like them to be and I know why. It is because I am just not being careful with what I eat and am letting myself have to many sweets and possibly some of my other health conditions such as a fatty liver, high triglycerides, and probably high blood pressure. I can't blame this all on medications and health conditions I blame myself for letting them get out of control. I am the one who has to do better and as I have already stated I Blame Me.

birch21 2011-01-02 23:18:46 -0600 Report

Maybe I need to try the picture on the fridge and I believe that i will. Thanks for all the encouragement from everyone.

Jusssme 2011-01-02 21:29:31 -0600 Report

Whenever I feel down I try to tell myself that it could alway be worse and if that don't work all I have to do is visit my doctor who's located next to our local hospital and dialysis center. After seeing some of those patients I count my blessings. I know it's hard. I don't have a very good support system either but we need to do what we need to do. It'll get better. Oh yeah and have a Happy New Year.

birch21 2011-01-02 23:03:00 -0600 Report

Thanks, you are so right things could be a lot worse and there are people worse than I am. I to count my blessings, especially when I can get up and go to work and hopefully changes the lives of children with learning.

ivonalvarez 2011-01-09 22:59:27 -0600 Report

My motivatons are my kids and grandson but honesly I am a stay at home handicap mother I cant bend or sit too long nore walk more than 2 blocks I cant even stand too long. I have already had 2 back surgery's and one Historectomy now I need a Sling put on my bladder because it dropped and I have other back surgery's that im not looking forward to. Just because 3 men decided to dance the cha cha slide on my back on 1/6/1997 I am so greatfull im alive and all of you people are giving me so much hope. Thank you again..cause when the Dr told me I had diabetes I though it was the end of the world but im sure God knows what hes doing and he will help me.

Edie 2011-01-02 22:53:52 -0600 Report

jussme, have a great Happy New Year coming up. I hope it holds all you want it to. I am going to make this my Best Happy New Year ever. Off insulin and not going back on it if I can help it. Following the first Diabetic Diet I was ever on again and keeping track of my Exercise Plan better too.

Your right about going into Doctors Office and seeing alot worse off than us and using it to motavate us better. I count my blessings every day I am alive to try again to reach my goals.

birch21 2011-01-02 23:20:36 -0600 Report

Thanks again. It is nice to have a place to come to and find motivation and help when you need it the most. Take care and I hope that everyone have a very blessed first week of 2011.

birch21 2011-01-09 23:51:11 -0600 Report

Hey Ivonalvarez, don't give up. I know that it takes a lot to go through all that you have so that makes me believe that you are one strong lady. Hang in there and yes even though it doesn't seem like it now things will get better. I know you said that you can't walk very much but just walk around inside your house or apartment. If you feel like sitting up or even if you are laying around trying lifting small cans to build strength in your arms. I know you can't do a lot of stretching but just try doing some leg lifts while you are sitting up in a chair, anything is better than nothing at all and I am one to be talking. You are so right about having a place to come to and we can all motivate each other if we just think about it. Don't ever give up on yourself, I have to remind myself of that many times every day. We will make it we just have to take things one day at a time and as I tell my students we have to think like the "Little Engine that could." Remember what he said when he came to the big hill he thought he couldn't make it up. He was encouraged and finally his thought process was "I think I can, I think I can" and he did indeed make it up that hill, so if the "Little Enging can do it so can we. Hang in there and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Have a blessed night, and a good rest. Well I for one am going to look out the window and see how much snow is coming down then get a bath and go to bed. Sleep tight everyone and pleasant dreams.