Suggestions for showing support for my Type I husband

By hrmajesty Latest Reply 2011-01-02 20:40:26 -0600
Started 2010-12-30 19:16:26 -0600

My husband has type 1 diabetes. He was misdiagnosed at 16 with Type II. After two years and a couple of close calls (and seeing his weight drop from 200 to 115) they finally gave him the correct diagnosis. Damage had already been done in that two years, damage that he would not see until years later. He suffers from depression, he has meds for it but doesn't always take them and he does not follow any real diet at all. He eats what he wants. He drinks diet soda at home but will drink regular when it's a fountain drink. His reasoning is to simply take more insulin. This is an intelligent man who has made it halfway through nursing school, but his behavior is not too smart. He hates most veggies. He'll eat salad, loaded with ranch dressing. He will eat raw carrots. That is about it. However, even if I buy the carrots he eats chips when he wants to snack. As far as meals, he's a meat and potatoes kind of guy. I'm at a loss. I have tried to support him by getting sweets out of the house, he'll buy them. Our kids have chips for lunches - he eats them. I want to be sensitive since I don't personally understand how he feels but something has to give. I am worried for his health.

4 replies

CaliKo 2011-01-02 20:40:26 -0600 Report

Nuts might be a substitute for chips, try some roasted almonds. Hummus with carrot sticks. Roast some red bell peppers. Have some blueberries or stawberries handy. Sauteed broccoli or cauliflower. Mini whole wheat bagels (the 14-17 g size). I guess my point is to have lots of good choices available. But in the end it is his life, he has to choose his path. This disease is hard on those that love the diabetics, too. Thanks for all you do, and good luck.

hrmajesty 2011-01-02 17:48:56 -0600 Report

Thank you so much for the replies and suggestions. I can see your point and though we have told the kids about his diabetes we have never asked them how they feel about it and, honestly, I don't think they understand how serious it is. I welcome more! I need any tips and everything you can give me!

GabbyPA 2010-12-31 18:40:41 -0600 Report

Support can be mistaken for doing for, and that can't be. My husband supports me, but he cannot be me, cannot do for me what I have to do for myself. Be careful of nagging and be there for him when things are in your ability to control. If you shop, then make sure you are supporting him by purchasing things that are good for him. Remember, changing your habits will show support to him more than buying him "special" food and letting the kids eat what they want. Everyone can benefit from eating like a diabetic should, so maybe that is a good place to begin. The harder you make it for him to eat wrong foods the better. He may hate it at first, but you can work into it so that it is not so drastic.

Tell him you love him no matter what and want to do anything you can to help. If he gives you things to help him with, then do not waiver. You can always go back to the fact that he asked you to help.

Maybe you two just need a little break away and some time to find out how he does fee. Time for him to find out how you feel. Maybe even how the kids feel. Just because they don't say things, doesn't mean they are not worried or wonder what is going on with dad.

There may come a time when there is nothing you can do but let him do his own thing. We all need to come to terms with things in our own time. Sometimes the more we want to help, the harder it is to change.

Harlen 2010-12-30 21:37:46 -0600 Report

First he needs to wish to take better care of himself so how can you make him ? He may wish to be there when hs kids get older so he can see how well they do in life .You can tell him that you wish him to be there and grow old with him.
Dont bring chips in to the house lol thats what my wife dose lol
My wife will cut up the carrots and have them ready for me when I need a snack
The thing I like best is cheese and meat ham,salomy and the like
Try to cut the potatoes.They are so bad for us .
It takes time to chainge ,slowly cur out the bad foods adding good foods
Beef stick and cheese go good together.
Hope this helps
Best wishes