Newly Diagnosed...3 YEARS AGO!!!

Reene - 23252
By Reene - 23252 Latest Reply 2008-09-28 06:35:18 -0500
Started 2008-09-27 15:01:16 -0500

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this site and I thank God I found it. I ended up in the hospital in June of 2005 with a BG reading of 700. I drove myself to my doctor's office and I work in a hospital. No, I’m not a nurse, I'm clerical. I knew something was wrong with me but I've always been so busy taking care of everyone else that I just didn't take the time and didn't even want to try to take the time to care for me because there was nothing wrong with me that losing some weight wouldn't cure. That's what I believed. I haven't convinced myself fully yet that it isn't true.

But last summer (2007), I took myself off all my meds. I was on metformin, glyburide, actos, januvia, lantus; there were a few more but I can’t remember the names right now. Taking pills made me nauseaus. I felt ok. I was constantly sleepy, had no stamina, nothing…..but I believed that I was ok. I was just overworked. I only work 36 hours a week.

About a month ago, I took my BG and it was 545. I was reverting back to when I ended up in the hospital. I work in inpatient psychiatry and one of the doctors there knew something was wrong with me. He asked me what my BG was so I told him. HE CALLED MY PRIMARY CARE DOCTOR! I was happy that he cared that much but didn’t want to go to my doctor. He was going to put me on meds again and make me take needles. I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t have time for that. But I went anyway. I got yelled at (nicely) because it’s been over a year since I saw him. He said, “we’re going to take one problem at a time and get you back on track” so I agreed. Right now I’m on about 90 units of Lantus at night and 25 units of Novolog three times a day. I had a doctor appt this past Wednesday but I cancelled it. Before you yell at me, I did make a new one…October 8. I will go to that one. I really don’t want to die. I’m just confused, tired and I don’t know what else.

I’m taking the Lantus at night, that’s not a problem but the daytime needles are tough. I remember to take my BG reading every morning and do that needle but forget the other two. My readings are between 220-350 now.

I joined this site yesterday and for some reason, it’s got my attention. I read the posting about how to deal with ignorant people and I read all the responses and I watched a few youtube videos and ya know something…..I cried. I joined other diabetes sites but they didn’t do anything for me. I think this site might just help.

Please don’t tell me I’m stupid or ignorant for what I’ve done to myself. It’s not easy being diabetic, but you already know that. Just be my friend and maybe I can get the strength to make it through this? Thank you for listening to me.

Reene


8 replies

morris.js
morris.js 2008-09-28 05:18:22 -0500 Report

Reene,

You are now part of an incredible "community". I have never in my life seen such a group come together and genuinely care for each other. The love, compassion and support that is shown here is truly a miracle.

I'm sure that there are already people praying for you to get the strength to overcome your obstacles…I know I am.

Take one step at a time, and one day at a time. you will find that with all your friends here helping you, it will become easier to do each day.

A friend for "Life",
John Morris ((((HUGS))))

Reene - 23252
Reene - 23252 2008-09-28 06:35:18 -0500 Report

Reading these replies make me cry. I can't believe there are people out there who feel the same as I do. Even though I've been diabetic for over 3 years now, I feel like I'm so new at this. I know this can kill me and I've been lying to my family for long enough now…telling them that I'm fine, that I feel good, that my sugars are under control so they don't worry about me. I have to start putting me first, I really have to. John, thank you so much for including me in your prayers and saying that we'll be friends for life! I pray to God that's a very long time.
Reene

Gabby
GabbyPA 2008-09-28 04:59:33 -0500 Report

We have all done some nutty things to ourselves. Frustration has a way of breaking us down and until we are really sick, we just don't realize it. Many of us have similar stories of goofy things we did.

The important thing is that you stopped in, got to know us a bit and decided to stay. So grab a cup of joe, pull up a chair and join us. We all love to be here with eachother. It is so very differnet from any other sites I have been to as well. There is a special vibe here that I can't find anywhere else.

You are on the right track now, and hopefully you will find the support here to keep you going the way you want.

Welcome home...glad to have you!

vgarrison
vgarrison 2008-09-28 02:22:42 -0500 Report

Renee,

Life doesn't always turn out how we want it too. That is something that we all had to learn whether we like it or not.

I have only been diagnosed for about 2 weeks, and in some ways I believe that I am still in denial, but I have to keep moving on.

You sure were on some pretty heavy meds and now taking the couple that you do…at least that is an improvement!!

Just keep doing what you can do…we all can't change overnight and we all are going to have days where diabetes gets the best of us, but hopefully soon there will be more days that you get the best of diabetes!!!

Good luck, and we are all here for you!!

Vicki

momoftype1
momoftype1 2008-09-27 16:27:31 -0500 Report

Reene-
This is the best place I have found, and everyone here is very supportive. Fear can be a huge obstacle to get over. Everyone feels differently when presented with this type of situation. I am not diabetic, my daughter is, and I remember the day I almost lost her and we found out what she would have to live with and wishing it was me instead. I was so afraid for her and how she would be that I was willing to take it for her. We are now a year and a half later and it is just part of everyday life for her. She still has some fears, but she is healthy and here with me, and I think that is the most important thing. Just remember if you have something that you need to talk about that this is the place to do it. I look forward to hearing how your appt goes on the 8th. I will keep you in my prayers.

Dawn-momoftype1

Reene - 23252
Reene - 23252 2008-09-28 00:01:00 -0500 Report

Thank you very much for caring! This is so hard for me and such a struggle. I know I have to get over that and move on with improving my life if i want to be around for my family. Thank you again!

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