Depression and diabetes.

By Dawn3716 Latest Reply 2010-12-26 09:36:47 -0600
Started 2010-12-23 09:41:09 -0600

I am a 35 yr old stay at home mom of 5. I have 3 of my own and 2 step kids. I suffer from depression as well as being type 2 diabetic. I have the knowledge to take care of myself just not the motivation. My baby brother, the youngest and the only boy of 5 kids killed himself a year ago on Dec. 12th and it is the worst thing my family has ever been through. With the stress of the kids and my depression I have a really bad habit of skipping meals. I don't take my sugar like I am supposed to and I don't eat right or exercise. I am scared that I am doing damage to my body. My hands and feet are always cold which makes me think my circulation isn't like it should be. I do take meds for the depression, I have just fallen into some bad habits and I don't know how to pull myself out of it! Any advice would be much appreciated!!

15 replies

RAYT721 2010-12-24 15:58:01 -0600 Report

Motivation to pull through the changes and challenges needs to come from the beautiful person in your mirror and the owners of the little stockings that Santa will be filling. We are here for you whenever you need a laugh, cry or hug and they are given with true concern for you as a person and a diabetic because of who you are rather than what you are. Please and sincerely if you need a friend, click on the photo of the goofy looking kitty wearing antlers and add a friend. Seasons greetings to you and your family and to the new family you've adopted here on Diabetic Connect. Hugs!

latashahiawatha 2010-12-24 09:57:01 -0600 Report

Hi Dawn
I am in the stage you are in and I know where you are coming from. I am so sorry about your brother.Five days ago the doctor told me that '' YOU ARE MORE LIKELY TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK OR STROKE'' my mind is stuck in that very moment. I am going through the same that you are going through. I have no one to talk to or cry to. I just want to let it out, but how. What do people in our situation do.

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2010-12-25 07:55:46 -0600 Report

Sorry your Dr gave you such a shock. It is hard to hear what else they say after they drop such words on you, I've been there a few times myself this past year. What helped me was learning about the words that diagnosis meant. DC has helped so much in my search for understand Diabetes. We are very fortunate to have this site. Some medical problems don't have a site where people are sharing what they know or want to know about the condition.

jayabee52 2010-12-24 11:01:59 -0600 Report

Howdy Latisha.
What the Dr told you is true. You are more likely to die of those things s/he mentioned. The Dr MAY have said also, that People With Diabetes("PWD") CAN live a long and healthy life if you control your Diabetes ("DM"). Maybe Dr did say that and your ears shut off because of the shock of receiving what seemed a death sentence.

There are folks here who have had DM nearly their entire lives. Some who have lived with DM for 50 & 65 yrs, without any or many complications.

People in our situation do just what you have done. Come to a group of other PWDs, whether locally or in a place like DC where you can cry, and rant, and rage if you feel the need, and then can get comfort, and encouragement from people who understand, because we are living the life too, and maybe a little further along the path of living with DM. And maybe even learn a thing or two along the way.

I have been here at DC for over a year now, and I love it. I try to be here every day I possibly can, because I like the people here. Sometimes I am learning how to better control this disease, sometimes I have a story to tell about what I've gone through (check my profile for a list of my "medical challenges"). Almost every day I pick up some little (or large) tidbit about managing my DM.

I pray I see you on here often. And I pray God's blessings on you and yours. Blessed Christmas!


Dawn3716 2010-12-24 09:12:17 -0600 Report

Wow, I had tears in my eyes just reading the replys. I have not talked to a grief counselor. I went to a support group with my mom a few times, that just seemed to lead to more questions. I will take the advice you all gave me and take it one step at a time. I will eat breakfast today :-) I do take my pills most days assuming I don't forget them. I will stay connected on here daily if possible.. I truly appreciate everyone's support! Merry Christmas everyone!

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2010-12-24 04:11:08 -0600 Report

So very sorry you are dealing with depression and the loss of your brother. The advice given to set small goals is very good. I had to set them for myself to pull out of depression. Also having someone to talk with helped immensely.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2010-12-23 23:50:39 -0600 Report


I just wanted to offer you some support. It is hard to lose a family member, and when the death is a result of suicide, it leaves loved ones in shock, filled with raw emotions, questions that will never be answered. The first year is especially hard, as one anniversary after another passes. It's normal that you would be experiencing ongoing sadness as you grieve. Each of us has our own unique grieving process that we go through when we lose a love one, and it takes whatever time it takes.

Have you talked with a grief counselor during this time? If you haven't, I would encourage you to consider it. It might be helpful to talk with a trained professional who can help you to process your grief.

The grief you are experiencing may be contributing to your depression, leaving you "double depressed." Only a trained mental health professional can make this determination. Since you are currently being treated for depression, I hope that you are able to maintain compliance with whatever treatment regimen you are on, e.g. medication and therapy, and that the professional who is treating you is aware of what you're dealing with, your grief, but also that you are skipping meals and its affect on your diabetes.

The irony of depression is that depressed people feel not only experience intense sadness, but they also often don't feel like taking care of themselves, which can be self-destructive. Depression also affects appetite. It's a double whammy. So if your depression is leaving you uninterested in eating -- this is common. For a diabetic, that leads to other problems as you know.

I also coach my clients on the "fake it 'til you make it" approach to daily life. This means setting small goals, pushing themselves to maintain a basic routine, including eating, and maybe taking small walks to get some exercise, whether they feel like it or not. I might even check in with them daily for awhile to make sure they are doing it. This isn't a miracle cure. But it can help to reverse the downward spiral that depression can cause.

It might help to remind yourself of what you do have to live for -- your wonderful family -- and how giving yourself an extra push every day can help you to be there for them. Just a suggestion.

You are dealing with a lot right now. The death of a family member is an incredible loss. Don't hesitate to reach out for some additional help. Don't go through this alone.

Stay connected to your friends on Diabetic Connnect. Keep us posted.

angie36 2010-12-23 21:45:23 -0600 Report

I feel the same way at times. I now realize that I am the person in control of what happens to me and my body. Things will be better when you just take it one day at a time. Make small goals for yourself and reward yourself when you accomplish that goal.

I hope this helps. It is what I do to keep myself from getting depressed every day.

Harlen 2010-12-23 13:49:02 -0600 Report

Yes you do know how to do it its just hard to get started I know I have benn there too just pick one thing and stick to it then the next thing and before you know it
5 kids wow I am only deeling with one and I am so streesed out lol
You know what happends when somone gives up and the price others have to pay for what they have done and you have 5 little ones that need you to be there for them .
You can do it any woman that can deal with 5 kids every day has already got it licked lol
Just look at them and theres your motovation
Hugs and best wishes

Two painful feet
Two painful feet 2010-12-23 12:16:28 -0600 Report

Hi! I was a stay at home mom of two a boy and girl. I didn't have depression but had to push heard to get things done. Because I had polio at age 18 months so keeping up with my two was very physially hard. I know if you keep trying you will be able to take care of your diabetis and you family. I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a very happy new year. If you need someone to listen to you my phone is always near me. Just click on my picture and it should take you to my personal page. Write and I will give you my phone number or you can give me yours.
Your Friend

GabbyPA 2010-12-23 11:08:37 -0600 Report

Motivation is one of the hardest things we face with chronic anything. We get excited about it and work hard, then we get tired of it and get complacent. Then we get mad and say forget it. It's all natural and as long as you are recognizing that you are in some of those phases, you can move forward.

Something I think I am going to do for the new year is a "diabetes job jar" so to speak. I have the basics down, but need that extra push to go just a little bit further and try a little harder.

CaliKo 2010-12-23 10:17:56 -0600 Report

I'm sorry I don't have any experience with depression, but I do sympathize. There was a Christmastime suicide in my family as well, and the effects are felt for years, maybe forever.
As I'm sure you know, it's very important with T2 to keep to a routine with your meals, snacks and exercise. I would think that would help with the depression, too, to have a schedule to keep to. Five children are a lot to take care of, and you don't mention their ages, but perhaps you can involve them with grocery shopping, cooking healthy meals, charting your daily meds, meals, snacks, exercise and testing. Exercise can be playing in the park with the kids, as long as you are active. The beauty of the stay-at-home Mom part is the ability to plan your days and take care of yourself. Enjoy the little things, and try each day to do the things you know you need to do to take care of yourself. You won't change everything overnight, but each decision is an opportunity to make the better choice. Good luck!

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