Need suggestions for family member

By Eversinging1 Latest Reply 2010-12-16 10:15:26 -0600
Started 2010-12-09 18:31:24 -0600

My brother-in-law, who is 63, was just put on insulin and oral meds. His BG readings are still 350+ and spike up to 500+ pretty often. The doc told him to take his pills at a certain time and his shot in the morning. He says he's been doing that and really trying to reduce his carb intake. Don't know if he has or not.

But the real kicker is, he has the mental capacity of about a 10 year old. He had polio when he was a child and oxygen deprivation so he's mentally limited, and he has ADD, I think. So how can we get this physically grown man to do what he needs to do? It's hard to think of him in terms of a child when he's a grumpy older man! lol Help!!!

31 replies

Eversinging1 2010-12-16 10:15:26 -0600 Report

So they are having him increase his insulin dosage every couple of days until they get ihis BS down. Last night it was 354, so it's getting there, ever so slowly. He is not a happy camper. I understand, everyone yelling at him you can't eat this,you can't eat that, test your blood! Take your shot!!! No you can't eat again! and on and on and on. Bless his heart! We're all in the same boat somewhat.

Eversinging1 2010-12-14 20:11:57 -0600 Report

So he went to the doc today and they increased his insulin dosage…or are increasing it in increments until his BS gets lower. That's all I know right now, but at least they are doing something. geez

GabbyPA 2010-12-15 10:51:06 -0600 Report

Does anyone go in to the doctor visit with him? Or does anyone have release permission to speak to the doctor about his treatments? That might be very helpful for those wanting to help him out.

Eversinging1 2010-12-15 12:04:09 -0600 Report

Yeah, his mom goes with him. that's the only way anyone knows what's going on. He's fully functional tho, he has a job and all that. he's just not the brightest lightbulb and doesn't know how to fend for himself. He's very shy. He took an IQ test and it's around the level of a 5th grader. tough for someone who's 63

GabbyPA 2010-12-16 10:06:46 -0600 Report

Only tough because we loose that innocence of childlike thinking. In someways, he is probably happier than most. There are days when I wish I didn't know or understand the things that are going on around me as well as I do. Innocence is not a bad him enjoy it.

It is true, that he does need that help to stand up for himself. I hate when people take advantage of people like him and consider them easy prey or just don't think they can do enough so why bother. I grew up around a lot of people like that as my mom worked in a school for kids that had all kinds of mental and physical challenges. They are incredible souls that just have a harder time communicating with us. Once you find that connection, you are in store for a treat.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2010-12-13 22:12:32 -0600 Report

Wow, this is going to be a challenge.

It seems to me that, as Gabby suggested, your brother isn't even going to be capable of taking full responsibility for his diabetic caare. Instead, this will need to be monitored/enforced by whomever else is involved in his day to day care. It's not going to be easy, he is going to fight the diet changes tooth and nail, and the foods that he can't eat will most likely need to be removed from reach, if that is possible.

As I said, this is going to be a challenge.

tammyr10 2010-12-11 19:30:22 -0600 Report

I was having the same problem and I was on insulin and oral meds,it was not till they gave me a second insulin humilin to go with my lantis that my sugar finally come down mine was getting up to with meds and watching my carbs my sugar has went as low as 66.I was not having any low sugars before the second new doc said my dr. had not been controling my sugars.

stockingr 2010-12-11 10:39:18 -0600 Report

the problem may be simple things that most people do not think about, like using a little sugar in coffee or on cereal maybe try switching to splenda or stevia products will help. in my experience these have no bad aftertaaste like equal or nutrasweet, using splenda in every thing i or my family make has helped my BG come down and stay down a lot, also we as a family started using spegetti squash in place of all pastas and we found that we like the flavor better that the same dishes made with pastas this also cut alot of the carbs that we were eating and helped to controle my BG. i hope these help oh i almost forgot if you use the splenda use less than you would real sugar or things will be exessivly sweet tasting we have found that aproximatly 2/3 the amount is about right for our tastes.

karenjo1966 2010-12-11 09:15:43 -0600 Report

try peanut butter sandwiches.that helped keep my readings normal while i was pregnant.

stockingr 2010-12-11 10:43:49 -0600 Report

theere are also many herbs that can help like cinamon i like to put a stick in my morrning coffee or tea with a little splenda or honey for sweetner. honey and real maplae syrup have low glucymic index so impart little to BG levels if not taken in large amounts. and honey and peanut buter sandwitches are great tasting treats or snacks.

zanco 2010-12-10 01:01:27 -0600 Report

I use peanut butter to bring mine down, it is a natural leveling agent, it keeps it in the mid 180's to 210

jayabee52 2010-12-10 01:38:44 -0600 Report

180s to 210? That seems a bit high. Do you always run that high?
Yeah 180s to 210 is better than 350 to 500+, but still pretty high.

GabbyPA 2010-12-09 18:39:58 -0600 Report

It really sounds like he needs some kind of advocate or help. Does he live with you or is there someone that is able to make sure he is being compliant. I know at age 11 I was not really worried about being compliant to anything but what I wanted to do.

Eversinging1 2010-12-09 18:48:58 -0600 Report

He lives with 3 other family members. Mom tries to get him to do what he's supposed to do but his sister has cancer so the fam is pretty much overloaded. And like a child he throws these verbal temper tantrums (with grown up language lol) and he's a big guy. I understand he's scared and feels bad but no one really knows how to make sure he's doing what he needs to do.

GabbyPA 2010-12-09 18:53:59 -0600 Report

Can the family get some in home nursing care to come in to help out? I know how overload can be and it gets hard on everyone. That is a lot to handle for sure. I know when I have to take care of my mom who is 76 and my husband who is in a wheelchair, it gets hard to do it all. Without him being able to take that responsibility on his own, he will need to get help. Numbers like those are dangerous.

Eversinging1 2010-12-09 18:56:22 -0600 Report

He's not eligible for that I don't think and they are kind of funny about bringing outsiders in. I'm at a total loss here.

GabbyPA 2010-12-09 19:01:33 -0600 Report

Wow...that is crummy. It took me almost a month to get an approval for an in home visit from my husband's insurance and by then I didn't need it anymore. What a mess. Is there a diabetic support group that he could attend and maybe find a Buddy to help keep him on track. Sometimes "kids" will take advice from friends better than family.

Eversinging1 2010-12-09 19:19:51 -0600 Report

I met a guy on this site who lives not too far from us who has a hobby that my BIL is interested in. And this guy goes to a local support group. Maybe I'll work on getting them hooked up! Good idea

GabbyPA 2010-12-11 15:41:43 -0600 Report

That sounds like a great idea. You never know and it is worth a try. If he is willing to help, then he will earn his stars in heaven for helping out. That would be great.

Eversinging1 2010-12-09 19:06:28 -0600 Report

I think there is one nearby, but getting him to go would be an issue! He's not getting any support at home. He has no insurance and is not on medicare yet..just got his social security. We keep trying to get him to get on this website but he has a difficult time with computers. He's a sweetheart..a big teddy bear, and he just needs some support. Jimmy and I have been trying our best but we're not around him all the time.

GabbyPA 2010-12-11 15:45:14 -0600 Report

Just keep doing what you can. Support is appreciated no matter how much from anyone. I know a friend that I have is a great support, even though I don't see her much. I know she is there for me if I need her and that makes me feel better. I'm sure your efforts are not un-noticed. They may not be acknowledged because that level of communication may not be there, but it will pay off down the road. Just love him and do what you can. The one thing you cannot do is live his life for him, no matter how much you want to try. He is still his own person, the good and the bad of that simple truth is with us every day. Your love will do more for him than nagging and pushing.

Eversinging1 2010-12-09 18:35:07 -0600 Report

I stand corrected, he has a 5th grade level, which would be, what 11 or 12 years old?

Kathy Cook
Kathy Cook 2010-12-09 22:05:09 -0600 Report

Has he had any counseling? Your local hospital might have some kind of program that could be financed through charity care or something. Have you looked into Medicaid? He certainly needs some kind of support. Diabetes is scary enough without having his limited mentality (if that's the right term). His numbers are dangerous.

Eversinging1 2010-12-10 07:38:24 -0600 Report

I don't know if he's looked into medicaid or not..not sure he can get that either. I think it would be great if we can get him in a group where he can meet some people in similar situations and get him some support. That's what I'm gonna work on with him now.

Kathy Cook
Kathy Cook 2010-12-11 19:15:45 -0600 Report

I would think that he would qualify for Medicaid. It would be great if you could find some kind of group. Keep us posted.

Eversinging1 2010-12-12 01:22:31 -0600 Report

He has to be on social security 2 years before he can get any medicare/medicaid. that's what we've been told. He just started drawing his SS in August.

Kathy Cook
Kathy Cook 2010-12-13 03:22:48 -0600 Report

I know about the Medicare, but Medicaid is a different program. Your town or county Social Services should be able to help you. Or look online.

emmom 2010-12-09 21:11:14 -0600 Report

My 6th grader (now 7th) took the diabetes education courses and does great!

Eversinging1 2010-12-10 07:39:07 -0600 Report

then he should be okay. He's going to a class with me next month at my doc's office as my guest. At least he can get some good info

Fritzana 2010-12-11 17:35:46 -0600 Report

Don't forget - even at Dr.s' offices, there are holiday cookies brought in and candy galore usually at the front desk, or candy canes on the "reception desk" tree, etc. If he is childlike, you may need to be cognizant of this when taking him out. The employees love to share holiday treats as you probably are well too aware of. Happy holidays and positive thoughts.