Depressed and scared

By Artsbabygirl Latest Reply 2011-07-16 19:51:30 -0500
Started 2010-11-25 22:28:10 -0600

It feels like my whole world is crashing down around me.Back in July I began having problems with my right foot.Severe neuropathy.Not from my diabetes though.From a back injury which since has caused me to fall and crack a bone in my ankle.And am going into the hospital on Dec 8 for a spinal fusion.On top of that my fiance and I are hanging on by a thread.I cry constantly and feel so down even though I am taking an antidepressant.I am worried that my blood sugars will be all out of whack because of this.I dont eat much and when I do its usually something bad for me.Has anyone ever been thru anything like this before and if so how did you deal with it? Need all the help I can get.

12 replies

nevaehjarae 2011-07-16 19:51:30 -0500 Report

I understand completely what you are going thru. I just went through the same thing. In April I fell and ruptured a disc in my lower back and pinched a nerve so badly that I was in constant pain. I tried to keep working but it just made the injury worse until I had to go on short term disability at work. I called Met Life to get the paperwork started and it took from April 18th until July 1st to get it approved. In the meantime the bills kept coming in. Week after week I waited for a check from them and it never came. My family went from two paychecks down to just one. With the economy the way it is his hours went from 40 hrs aweek to 32 hrs a week. My doctor needed to send me for an MRI but needed an approval from my insurance co. This took a month before we got the approval. And the bills kept coming and no check coming. After a while it all started taking a toll on my marriage. We started blaming each other for things neither one of us could control. Bill collecters called everyday. It got so bad we finally unplugged the phone because it didn't stop ringing even at night and on weekends. I was crying constantly and feeling like it was my fault all this was happening to us. Then finally we got approval for the MRI. After reviewing the film it was determined I needed Surgery to fix the problem. I still hadn't recieved a check from Met Life so I got on the internet and telephone and tried to find someone to help me but only got answering machines and recordings. Not one time in a 48 hr period did I talk to a human. I had my surgery July 8yh and am now recuperating. I can walk without pain. Still not 100% yet but that was one situation taken care of and am now on the road to getting back to work. A few days I found out the HR person at my work was no longer there and that was why I only got recordings and machine. I called work and finally got a number to a human. I called and left her a voice mail and before the day was over she returned my call!! She told me she had lit a few fires and I shoul get a check for all my back pay (from April 18th) and recieve one every pay period until I get back to work. That was situation #2 taken care of. Through this whole thing I just kept praying and crying and praying some more. But I never lost site of my Holy Father above. He carried me then and is still carrying me now. I'm not saying it has been a piece of cake. But my husband have stopped blaming each other and have started working together to deal with one problem at a time and it feels good. I am also diabetic and know all about not being hungry and not eating right. Please eat a little bit even if you don't feel hungry. Inmstead of grabbing chips or some other snacks try keeping grapes and crackers handy. I can almost guarantee hat once you take that first bite, you will find you are hungrier than you thought. I still have a ways to go to get back on track with finances but now I do see a light. Before I had my surgery, I was scared to death and didn't want to go through with it. I got on Diabetic connect and conversed my fears to al the wonderful people here and recieved more good wishes and prayers that by the time I had my surgery I wasn't worried any more about what could go wrong. I have never met a better group of friends than I have here. Their like family. If I have a problem I know I can come here and I will get all the support I need to get through it. I know it seems like things can't get any worse, but they can. When I feel that way I think of all the people out there that have less than me or nothing at all. You will get through this like I did. Just trust and believe. When you pray hand it all to God and leave it there. I know how hard that is but you can do it. I promise it will all start to fall into place, one situation at a time. I will be praying for you, that everything will work out but mostly that you will be able to put it in God's hands and let him take care of it. Please don't think I am just running off on the soapbox . That's not my intention. I had a really strong person tell me the same things I am telling you. My sister. She has breast cancer and is looking at a double mastectomy in August. She still lives life to the fullest. She kayaks, camps and lots of other outdoor activities. She is also big in the boyscouts and is taking them on their end of summer camping trip next week. If anyone ever asks me who my hero is, I would tell them " my sister is the strongest person I know, she is my hero". just stay atrong and when you get down come here and you will find all the heros you need.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2010-11-27 15:35:28 -0600 Report


So sorry to hear that you are facing so many challenges at one time. Sometimes it can feel like life throws a lot of curveballs at once, and they come at us so fast that we feel like we don't know which one to try and catch, or if we should even bother to try.

Here's a way to look at what's going on in your life in a way that might help to reduce your anxiety.

I would recommend thinking of each challenge separately, as if you were holding each one in a bucket. Your foot is one problem. Your back is one problem. Managing your diabetes is one problem. Your relationship is one problem.

Then, go from one bucket to the next, one at a time rather than all at once. As you examine what's in each bucket, ask yourself: What do I have control over here and and what do I not have control over? Is there anything about this problem that needs my attention? What do I have to do? What do I have to accept?

Decide what you can and can't do. Take necessary action. And then go on to the next problem.

This isn't magic. Your problems aren't going to magically go away. But you can at least see where you are making headway and where you aren't, and you can see what you need to do. And maybe you can even see where you need to relax.

The point is to look at your life challenges in a way that provides you with the opportunity to see where they can, individually, be managed. It's when we see only this big mass of trouble that we feel overwhelmed.

Part of coping with life is realizing what we can change and what we can't change, and then deciding how best to go with the flow.

I would also encourage you to reach out for support. Friends, family members, who can listen objectively when you need to talk. You might also consider reaching out to a mental health professional to help you to maintain your perspective as you deal with these challenges.

Don't go through this alone. And keep in touch with your friends on Deibetic Connect!

"LIL" Dolly
"LIL" Dolly 2010-11-27 13:55:30 -0600 Report

you are in my prayers all the way, just hang in there as best as you can, God is with you always. When I got frist dianosed with diabetes I was depressed for about a tear , but God for my husband & brother-in-law they helped through the ruff times & are still by my side, you need to chat my ears are always ope just buzzzzzz me.

signed Gwen

Artsbabygirl 2010-11-27 00:10:48 -0600 Report

Thanks everyone so much for your caring and advice.I am going to do my best to start watching out for number one.I believe in the power of prayer.Just wish Dec 8 would hurry and get here.Want this operation to be done and over so I can get on with my life.Being trapped in the house so much isnt helping my situation any at all.I will make it thru and this I know.Nice to know I have support here.

Tannersgma 2010-11-28 23:08:01 -0600 Report

You are in my prayers! I agree with Dr. Gary. Take one problem at a time. Looking at all of them at once is totally overwhelming! But doing one at a time is usually more managable. Good luck and if the finance doesn't hang in there, he wasn't worth it. Take care of you!! The rest will fall into place. Believe that God has a plan for you when HE is ready. Do yourself a favor and take one thing at a time. Good luck!!

RAYT721 2010-11-26 15:33:17 -0600 Report

It sounds like you've got a lot going on in your life and while we may not have all of the answers for you, you are among a true group of genuinely caring folk who can offer support and encouragement. While antidepressants can be a good thing, it should not substitute for having a support system so please feel free to share with us.

Two painful feet
Two painful feet 2010-11-26 13:48:01 -0600 Report

I know you have a basket full of problems right now. But you must eat to be healthy. I have not been through the trials you are having. But in this llife it seems we must all have trials. Hang in there and take care of yourself as much as you can. You need to be as healty as you can be for the surgery. I will be praying for you.
You're Friend

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2010-11-26 11:37:57 -0600 Report

Sorry you have so much to deal with right now. I know, from personal experience these last few years, how hard it is to eat when you feel so bad. Make sure all of your medical team, Drs., nurses, anesthesiologist, etc, know you have diabetes. They will monitor your BG. Both surgery and recovery may affect your BG. My Drs. have all been very helpful when ever I have had surgery about my concerns about diabetes related issues. Your body needs protein to heal. While I was in the hospital they had me drink a sort of icky tasting protein med - tasted like burnt apricots to me. Also calcium -ate lots of yogurt and drank lots of milk. Please, try to eat better now and after so you can heal faster. There are still times I have to force myself to eat, but if I don't I know I will feel worse. While in the hospital they had me drink Glucerna with my evening meal. Maybe something like that would help you get some nutrition without having to eat.

Harlen 2010-11-26 10:17:07 -0600 Report

Hello and welcome
We all go thru life and there are problems we will need to deel with.
Stress will make your BS go up.
Just deal with the things you can fix and forget the things you cant.
Boy and girl frends come and go when you meet the one you will know.
I like to snak on fresh vegeis this keeps me from needing big meals and keeping me on a good diet.
Best wishes

Sonya Slim
Sonya Slim 2010-11-26 06:28:47 -0600 Report

Stress can cause you to have high blood sugars. You are going through a lot right now. Stress also leads to emotional eating. Try to forgive yourself for eating that "bad" thing and tell yourself you will make a better choice next time. It is possible your antidepressant is not working. Talk to your doctor. How long have you been on this med? Have you added any meds that could be interfering with the ability for your anti depressent to work?

alanbossman 2010-11-25 23:07:00 -0600 Report

Just take it easy and make sure they know you are a diabetic and I am sure they will monitor your BS. After your spinal fusion your BS maybe up and down but Your numbers may become more like you are used seeing time will tell. If your nu;mbers do not come back were you like see your doctor.

Rozcc 2010-11-25 23:04:16 -0600 Report

I know what you are feeling partially. I had pain in my left foot and didn't go to the doctor until I couldn't sleep and took a bottle of Advil. I finally went to the doctor and found out that I had a blockage in my leg. Through 3 angioplasties, two bi passes and one amputation of my left leg I was a mess.
I have my family and they tried to do the best with the household and bills. I was in the hospital for almost 5 months. My life has changed dramatically. With your surgery coming and you aren't eating healthy they may CANCEL your surgery due to the blood sugar. You have to be the healthiest that you can be. Once you are in the hospital they will modulate your sugars but it could take you a long time to heal. I got out of the hospital on Dec 8th and was not healed of any sores until September of 2009.
PLEASE eat the best you can. You need to be eating small meals but 5-6 times a day. You can't regulate yourself the way that you are doing. Drink plenty of water, and fruit, and protein.
For your fiance and you, this could be a blessing in disguise. He needs to be there for you. Your vows are for better or worse. He isn't thinking of you if he is not supporting you. Tell him how you feel and what his comment is. You have to worry about yourself and if you aren't in good frame of mind when you go in it could hurt you. Ask some serious questions of your fiance and find out what his true answers are.
Know that you are a special person and you deserve someone that cares so deeply for you at your side. If he doesn't man up——-say good bye.
Sorry get on my soap box and don't seem to be quiet. This is pretty straight forward for you but tough love is always hard for the person to realize things should be different. Take care and try eating as healthy as you can. Bye

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