Not in denial, just don't care anymore

granniesophie
By granniesophie Latest Reply 2010-11-12 09:16:00 -0600
Started 2010-11-11 21:30:52 -0600

What do you do when you have NO support?? I see my doctor once every six months for 10 minutes-I have no close friends or really any friends, and no time for a social life-I live with a partner who just doesn't get it-he hasn't been to a doctor in 12 years himself and is European and eats all the heavy greasy food like theres no tomorrow. I do eat pretty good food-when I cook-I work 65 to 70 hours a week so dinner is mostly soup or cereal for me, and if I get up at 3AM then I have time to excersise.
I have read some things on this site that are dissappointing to me, so feel like there is no support and no "friends" here either!
I'm not in denial-I know I have diabetes-my A1C was 6.2 a couple months ago-so not bad, but I really just don't care, and seems like nobody else does either. And I'm not depressed either-because I've been there, done that, so I know what that feels like and this ain't it!
Anybody who has any practical suggestions, I'd sure appreciate it-and I'm sorry if you think I'm making this all up-but this is really my life-and I need help.


3 replies

Lindajm
Lindajm 2010-11-12 09:16:00 -0600 Report

Gabby and sNerTs1, your replies were so supportive. Granniesophie,you have come to the right place. Certainly your work schedule is SUCH a challenge! Your A1C is actually very good so,somehow you must be managing your diabetes. I like the idea of taking a 5 minute break and doing something physical-stretching,moving,going up and down the stairs,going outside and taking deep breaths. My partner (diagnosed with type2 in April) is totally non supportive also but I have decided that I need to be "in charge" of my health-no one else. There are many sites with suggestions for portable,quick meals-though it does take some discipline. Lastly, your screen name suggests that you might be a grandmother. I use my grandsons as my inspiration. I want to see them through their college graduations and weddings. Best wishes for you and come back here often. We all need a shoulder to lean on every once in a while.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2010-11-12 07:59:15 -0600 Report

It sounds to me that it is not that you don't care, but that you are tired of caring. The fact that you reached out here tells me that you are still willing to fight. So put those gloves on and let's go at it.

What do I do when I have no support? Sometimes I fall down and really mess up, but eventually I know if I want a happy healthy life, no one is going to do that for me, but me. We like to have support, but we don't require it. It can make things easier, but it doesn't mean that without it we are totally lost. Tell people that you care for that you need help. Sometimes they don't know what to do or say, so they shy away from everything. Tell them it's okay if they say something stupid or ignorant...they will. If you let them know it's okay, then you might find more support in the people around you. You have to ask for it. People don't offer it.

All those hours at work and you don't have a close friend there that you can hang out with and confide in? You don't have to do things outside of work, but having a friend there can keep the hours sane. When I was working that many hours I used to make sure we had some fun. I was in charge of a staff, and if we had to work late or extra hours, we would always take a break before the long night and goof off, play some dominoes or grab a bite to eat. Not every job is that flexible, but sometimes we have to think outside the box.

Soup for dinner is actually a good meal. Home made are best and you can make a huge pot and freeze it in smaller containers for later. That way you are getting rid of a lot of the bad stuff that is in the canned soups. I'm sorry that your partner is not being helpful. Have you maybe just had some fun together cooking a meal that you both could enjoy? Even if he can learn that you need some options while he cooks his greazzzy mess. Who does the grocery shopping? He who shops controls the food....take that power back if you can. Small changes at first that he won't notice like replace vegetable oil with olive oil. Replace the Italian loaf with a whole grain bakery loaf. Bring home more leafy greens and salad fixings. Those little things can help steer things in the right direction. Both of you will feel better.

I am sorry that you feel disappointed in the members here. Friendships do take two people to create, so maybe just spend some time with a couple that you kind of like...they could turn into great friends. I know that I have made some life friends here. Sure, we are virtual, but many of members have met, exchanged addresses and phone numbers to be a little less virtual. It takes time to build that trust, but it is here. I hope that you are able to find some. Because when you do, you will find magic.

sNerTs1
sNerTs1 2010-11-11 22:46:18 -0600 Report

Im here, I will listen whenever you need me to. Its total craziness the work schedule that you have as it will eventually take a toll on your medical condition but its not impossible to get to where you need with it.

When you have your times that you get to shop, try to find foods that you can fix easily and take with you so that you get a variety of healthy "energizing" foods, with that alone you will feel better.

I am not sure what you do for work, when I worked in an office, I would take 5 minutes and stand by my desk and stretch my arms, legs and walk in place. If I couldnt make it outdoors, I made sure I did this. Anything that will energize your metabolism is better than nothing at all. 3 am is way too early for me, I am a night owl and am then just finding my way to sleepy land.

Your health is very important Sonya and only you can make yourself healthier. Seeing your doctor only every 6 months for a short time, would make me take a list of questions in and make him stay there and answer them until you were satisfied and understood. They work for you, you pay them, they give you a service, dont cut your service off short, not when its about your life.

We all get the "frumps" from time to time, so you are very normal there. I try to find things that make me happy within and get my "charge" from that to at least help me make it through the rough patches.

I hope this helped you. Please write me whenever you want or need and I will try to help you as much as I can.

Bless You and Have a Beautiful Day tomorrow ~ Cheryl

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