My family has a long history of diabetes on my Daddys side. While my Dad did not have it, all of my uncles did. I had and have multitudes of friends living with it as well. I guess you wonder where I am going with this … it all has to do with "psyche" and how it plays on us.
I have seen family members and friends lose limbs (amputations), eye sight, heart problems, yadda yadda yadda … so when I found out that I too am a diabetic, my head went wild with everything. Yes I read and educated myself and tried to follow everything.
In April I had gotten a pedicure. I do this because I am vain and hate my doctor to have to check my feet while they are rough and yicky. When the lady did my foot she did something to my big toe and it hurt like a dickens. Being the girl that I am I shrugged it off and said "dont be a wuss Cheryl, suck it up" and I did until June when I couldnt stand it anymore and noticed that my toe was getting that lovely bright red of an infection. I immediately went in and saw my doctor and he put me on a string of antibiotics and foot soakings for awhile none of which totally took the infection away totally.
In October, I went in to see my doc and said "Ive had enough you can rip the nail off now" as to which he said really? Yep he did it that day. Im a person who is very toleratant of pain so we happy to get rid of infection. It is now healing nicely and is … yes DRUM ROLL HERE ~ healing nicely.
My mind, on the other hand, went all over the place during this. I sat up at night wondering if I was going to lose my toe and how would i know what gangreen looked like anyway as I have never seen it, would I limp or look funny … on how vain we humans really are. I lost tons of sleep for no reason at all, I took care of myself and was followed closely by my doctor and that shoudl have been enough.
What I am wondering is … like me, do any of you allow those visions to get into your head so much that you cannot sleep? That it affects your routines and how you look at anything like doing something physical because you could hurt yourself? Does it stop you from doing things because of that?
A little background into my situation ~ I take Metformin 500 mg a day. I used to take a half tab in the morning and 500 mg at night but I got so incredibly sick on that, that it was reduced. My sugars naturally fall in the 90-110s range before eating and 140-180 after eating depending on how bad I was with carbs and not drinking enough fluids.
Thank you for reading and thank you very much if you reply and help me with my "mind games" so I can get more settled.
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