By Rjhill74 Latest Reply 2010-11-05 23:29:24 -0500
Started 2010-11-01 15:09:50 -0500

I am so sick of having diabetes. I once had it under control but got into one of my depressed states and quit working on it. Now my sugars are out of control, everytime I try to do something or get help with one of my other problems diabetes is in the way. I HATE DIABETES! I am out of shape, have no money to buy what I need to, to eat right, and don't want to test any more because I know my sugar will be high. I'm tired of being sick and sick of being tired. Please Help!

11 replies

mas14years 2010-11-05 23:29:24 -0500 Report

I know exactly how you feel.. Its like when things go bad you just dont want to deal with diabetes. I hate when I try everything i can and blood sugar will still be 588. It is very frustrating.. To be healthy is cheap.. they wonder why so many people buy junk, because it is cheap.. Diabetes can be such an inconvenience but we cant give up.. Next time you are depressed come on here and vent, we all understand and have probably been through what you are gong through.. i learned that not taking care of myself is just another punishment. It definately doesnt help and just makes this worse in the long run.. i am here to be your friend and i truly mean that.. if you ever want to talk please feel free to message me at any time.. i will do my best.. we have to be here for eachother.. stand up and fight it, i know its hard but we can do it.. keeep your faith and chin up buddy..

LTennion 2010-11-03 16:51:02 -0500 Report

Hello There,

I felt compelled to respond to your post as I can relate to your feelings of frustration and hopelessness. Unfortunately, I seem to migrate there from time to time myself. I suspect that to some degree, the culprit is hormonal (chemical inbalance) and then there is always the daily battle and frustrations that go hand in hand with trying to manage diabetes. When I am in the midst of dispair, I keep reminding myself that "this too shall pass" and give it a few days. I then try to have "fun" with it, and laugh at myself for the silly thoughts going thru my head. I am over weight, too, so I know how difficult it can be to get motivated to begin with. (it doesn't help to be discouraged by your own physician) much less, when it is painful or uncomfortable at best. But do start out slowly. Just walking relieves stress. Pay attention to the sounds, and smells, and the colors of the trees or sky. Remind yourself how lucky you are to have the opportunity and time to even be able to spend the time outdoors. With whatever negativity you have in your life, focus on what your blessings are.

Rjhill74 2010-11-03 21:50:35 -0500 Report

Thank you for your reply. I do have to say that without my faith in
God I would not have made it this far. I like to look around and think while I walk. I used to write poems while I walked now I write them while setting outside or just enjoynig the night stars or the bright days. I am glad to know that I'm not the only one that believes that if I start out small and add to it then it will help me.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2010-11-02 16:16:52 -0500 Report


I was very sad to read your post. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot in your life right now, I suspect diabetes is only one of the challenges you are facing. But that can be a big challenge when you are having difficult keeping it under control. I understand your frustration.

I am not a physician but I counsel people who are facing chronic conditions like diabetes, and they often talk about how sometimes they get down, and depressed, and don't take good care of themselves. As you said, their sugar levels go sky-high as a result, and then they don't feel like they can deal with their other problems. So everything seems to get even worse in their lives.

I am glad you have reached out for support here on Diabetes Connect. Do you have any other people in your life who can support you? You might want to look into a support group that you could join, to share ideas and experiences with other people. The word "depressed" always raises a flag for me. If you are feeling depressed, and hopeless, then it is important to be in touch with a mental health professional who can listen to you and make recommendations about what you might do to feel better. Depression is treatable. Look up your community mental health resources and reach out to them. Counseling will be low cost or free. Please don't wait.

I don't know a lot about the social services system but if you are having difficulty purchasing food, then you may be eligible for some public aid, including food stamps. No one likes to admit that they need help but in these times we live in, more and more of us are having to reach out for assistance. I would encourage you to call your local department of social services and see what kind of help might be available to you. It's really important that you have adequate food.

I am concerned about you and am hoping that you will reach out for help in your community. And stay in touch with your friends here in Diabetic Connect. Don't go through this alone! You are on my mind!

Rjhill74 2010-11-02 21:25:49 -0500 Report

Thank you Dr. Gary. I do see a tharipist and a psychiatrust. I take plenty of medication. I am trying to learn more about nutrition and natural herbs and spices. I wish I could buy what I need to get. I do get foodstamps, but not very much. I draw ssi and make enough to get a little but not enough to get enough to buy what I need. I am sorry for complaining. I am just so tired of being sick. I want to get better and stay better. It is hard to find out how and to have motivation and money.

Harlen 2010-11-01 18:30:29 -0500 Report

We all slip from time to time ,dont beat your self up over it.
I dont know any one that even likes diabetis
Beest wishes

Rjhill74 2010-11-02 03:38:42 -0500 Report

Thanks. It means a lot. I thank you for understanding. I really don't want to give up. I want to beat this thing. I have done it before. I totally got off my diabetes meds. and controled it with exercise. I know that I can do it again.

jayabee52 2010-11-01 16:53:30 -0500 Report

Howdy RJ
You can't control your DM (diabetes mellitus) without knowing what your BG#s are running. You're letting DM control you instead of you controlling your DM. There are several people here who while not liking having DM, credit it for making them pay attention to their health and causing them to be more healthy. And several who determines to control their DM rather than let it control them.

Rjhill74 2010-11-01 17:33:24 -0500 Report

Thanks for replying. How long have you had DM? I just don't think I have anymore want to. I told my doctor that I started walking a couple of weeks ago and she told me that if I didn't walk 30min. a day that it wasn't worth it. I have physical problems that keep me from walking that long and told her I had to start of slow but she didn't care. My diabetes edu. told me even to start at 5min. a day and then add to it every week. I am trying real hard not to give up but it isn't getting any easier.

jayabee52 2010-11-01 18:38:21 -0500 Report

Howdy Robin
I was Dx'd sometime in 1995 or 96, but I suspected I had it for a while before that.

At first I was a lot like you. I didn't want to deal with it either. And I didn't. In fact my wife at the time threatened to divorce me if I didn't start controlling my DM. I would attempt for a while and then fall off the wagon. If you look at the "about me" section of my profile, you can see a whole lot of problems I now have due to my neglect of DM. Some like ADD and OA were many years before my Dx with DM but most of the rest is due to ignoring my DM.

Please don't make the same mistake.

My DM neuropathy (DN) - burning/tingling in feet, legs, hands, arms is easier to prevent by good BG control than to try to correct it once it starts. I wouldn't wish DN on my worst enemy. I now control my BG#s so it doesn't get worse (more painful or no feeling at all) or it leads to something like Charcot foot, where the bones in your foot simply collapse from your own weight.

Please don't give up Robin.

There are a lot of resources here at DC, a lot of information available, a lot of friendly people here who are willing to share what has worked for them, and to encourage you in your struggle to control DM rather than it control you. I believe you've come to the right place to get a better handle on your DM. Let us help you by giving you the education and motivation to make good choices.

Browse some of the active discussions and get involved and ask questions when something doesn't make sense to you. If I know DC (I've been here most every day for over a year), you'll have friend requests (BTW: thanks for accepting my friend invite - since we're now friends you can email me and I you on the DC system) or send a friend invite to folks who catch your eye for some reason.

Regarding walking 30 min a day, I understand where Dr is coming from, and also where you're coming from too. It would be better for you if you concentrated the walking into 1 30 min session, but I have read that you get much the same benefit if the sessions are broken up into however long you are able.

Because of my condition and my DN pain it is difficult to exercise. But I walk as much as I am able, seeking to raise my endurance / stamina every time I am out.

The main thing is that you get moving. And it doesn't have to be 30 mins at a time. You can combine several exercise sessions a day to add up to 30 or more min. The Dr wants you to get the max. benefit from your exercise, but if given the choice between you exercising in short bursts and having you become a couch potato, I suspect that she would prefer the movement over non movement. Basically I'm agreeing with your DM edu.

May God's richest blessings be to you and yours


Rjhill74 2010-11-02 03:36:26 -0500 Report

Thank you very much. I was diagnosed around 2000. Around 1999-2000 I had a mental breakdown from all the things that had happened to me when I was young. Then I believe part of the reason for diabetes was all the medication that I started taking all at once. Thank you for your support in the walking. I almost gave it up. I am glad that you became my friend. I just wish that I had never gained my weight. I was so messed up from all the abuse that I totally went crazy. I feel better. I know where the doctor is coming from but it hurt because I was finally serious about controlling my diabetes and exercising and becoming healthier. I had gotten up to a total of 15 -25min. a day with my little walks. Sometimes more sometimes less. It started getting harder after I did the splits a week ago at my friend's house. I went straight down. My muscles and hips are making it hard to walk like I was. But I don't want to give up. I'm jsut tired. Thanks so much. You have helped a lot.

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