By Chrissy6341 Latest Reply 2010-10-30 13:32:38 -0500
Started 2010-10-18 12:42:03 -0500

I hate this darn disease!! Its been a real bad day and I am just so fed up with it. These roller coaster emotions,mood swings, food cravings lately, it all bites. I can't tolerate it. All I want to do is sleep today, my eyes are bugging out so can't drive anywhere. I just want to be ME again. I want no more pain, no more Drs, no more TIA's, a neck I can turn, knees that don't hurt or need a replacement, a back without pain & hands that work right. Co-pays are killing me with Drs, I had to cancel 1 today and 1 tomorrow because I don't have the funds. I can't even go to the dentist or eye Dr or even the foot Dr because it is not covered under our insurance. It's pathetic when you make $10.00 too much to qualify for food stamps or medical help from the government. I can say a lot more on this topic but I won't as it is not the place.
I'm so tired of everything it seems. I won't take the chicken way out, did that once and it is not worth the pain n anguish I put my family through.
I just need to vent and maybe punch a wall or something, I don't know.

28 replies

jetten2 2010-10-30 13:32:38 -0500 Report

You can see my other posts with amazing results. Go to phmiracleliving.com and follow Dr Young's advice. It is a tough diet but it will change your life for the better.

Eddie boy
Eddie boy 2010-10-25 07:53:12 -0500 Report

You are a survivor and have overcome so much in your life. You can get beyond this. you are a tough person. there is an old saying, "tough times never last, tough people do". Look to your higher power for support. And always remember you are never alone. God bless you.

dougz 2010-10-25 00:00:24 -0500 Report

We all understand your anguish, as we share the same struggle. You’re an amazing woman and a survivor, keep hold of your faith and be strong. There’s no reason to give up, you have already fought for your life before, live your life for your beloved family each day and you’ll see that LIFE is worth living.
I will pray for your comfort and healing.

Temweni 2010-10-22 05:36:24 -0500 Report

You have managed and dont lose it now. i recommend u and i know u have alot we beginners would learn from u . be strong and take a positive step out your situation to share ur experiences. God is in control , believe .

gueda46 2010-10-20 14:25:25 -0500 Report

Good Afternoon Chrissy:

I know where you are coming from. I too suffer from this "family curse" I call it. I was diagnosed in February of this year. I am a third generation on my maternal side to get this stupid disease. I don't eat because I am not hungry, I don't lose weight because I don't eat. I am a full-time student, so I pack lunch per say, but I don't always eat it. I can't exercise because if my herniated disc isn't bugging me, my right leg is numb from my toes to my butt, and if that is not the issue, then the arthritis in my right knee is so bad that I can't hardly move. I can't get down on the floor and pick up anything, I can't lift the laundry basket to go to the garage. I have 6 children and a husband who don't really help me. On top of that, my 18 year old decided to take my nine month old granddaughter to a city in Mexico that is very, very dangerous. All I know is that they are "fine". I am two terms away from graduation, and I can't let all of this stuff get me down. There are four of us left in this house and our foodstamp allotment is $100 a month. That sure buys a lot of top ramen or boxed foods, but not the healthy fruits and vegetables that we need. My daughter (one of them has high blood pressure since she was 5, and another has thyroid issues, one more was born with a club foot, and another was born with Hydrocephalus "she collects extra fluid in her brain". There are days I just want to drink myself into oblivion, or just want to get in the car and drive not caring where I end up. I can't do that though. I told my daughter that went to Mexico that I wanted to go there also, she said come on, I said I can't just quit school, I have to finish, I am so close. I know sometimes things seem really bad, but I also pray alot to God to get me through the day. Every day completed is a day closer to my graduation and being able to say "I finally did something to make my family proud of me!"

Take care, and write me anytime you want to talk or vent or escape.

Have a great day and week!


Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2010-10-19 11:19:41 -0500 Report

Hi Chrissy,

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through right now. But I'm glad that you are reaching out here on Diabetic Connect and getting some emotional support and, I see, some advice as well. That's a good start.

I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you are still the unique, loving and lovable, valuable human being that you have always been. Your diabetes doesn't take that away from you.

I also wanted to just say a few words about your emotional state. I can tell that you are really feeling overwhelmed right now, as anyone facing your challenges would be feeling. I would encourage you to stay connected with supportive people, not ony here, but also to consider joining a support group, as well as getting connected with a mental health professional, possibly through your local mental health department. If you are feeling depressed, this is a treatable condition. So if you are feeling overwhelmed by your emotions at any time, I would definitely recommend reaching out for help, even if you report to your local emergency room.

My thoughts are with you and I am wishing you the best. Feel free to vent your frustrations any time with your friends here on Diabetic Connect. You have a whole of sympathetic and understanding eyes watching out for you.

RAYT721 2010-10-18 20:56:04 -0500 Report

I can totally understand where you are coming from. My wife became disabled in 2006 and trust me, we were denied for just about any assistance we applied for. The fact that our income dropped by $32K a year had no impact because surely my massive income (NOT) was plenty for a family of two. It wasn't until after the sea of pain we were sinking in, did things actually get better for us. But, not without the stress, failings of health and finances, loss of insurance, and just about everything you can imagine. I wish I had answers for you but I did compile some organizations and information in a discussion I wrote recently called "resources." I don't know if any can help you but may be worth a call, click or visit to find out. The more you get your name and condition(s) out there the better the odds of finding help… any help is better than none. One such organization on the list I compiled offers free medical suggestions and co-pay assistance plans. I will link it to you in the hopes that something, anything, may help you. We are in this together and we DO understand all that you have, are and will be going through. Don't give up!!! It's just time to take action of some kind and hopefully the right website will "click" (pardon the pun).

Chrissy6341 2010-10-19 04:06:09 -0500 Report

Thanks Ray. Things just seem to be getting worse then better. My husbands job cut everyone's salary by 10% and now we have to pay $400.00 a month for insurance that truly bites. The co-pays are high, the deductible for prescriptions is unreal. I will check out the sites, Thank you very much. I am up and plan on not letting anything get to me today, if I can help it. It is going to be nice here and I am thinking a walk to the river and just sitting on the thinking rock and soaking in the sun.

Harlen 2010-10-18 18:39:17 -0500 Report

Ok for 2.2 mill I can get you a new body but you got to start life all over again the being born part, dipers ,puberty the hole 9 yards.
So just let me know if thats what you wish to do.
O and you will need to go to school and all the rest of that crap too.
And there is no guarantee that you will live thrue it.
OK its just a joke . LIfe is hard and sometimes its very hard but what dosent kill you makes you stronger.
Best wishes

Jeannie Holmes
Jeannie Holmes 2010-10-19 15:02:13 -0500 Report

I'm waiting for the sale on body transplants!!!!!!!!!!! Anyone see one, let me know please!

Chrissy6341 2010-10-19 03:59:58 -0500 Report

Thanks Harlen. I always ask my Drs if I could get body transplants,lol. I know it is just 1 more hurdle to over come but at times it just seems so unfair. I have been through so much, from a brain tumor to 2 car accidents that were not my fault. but left me with head injuries and hardware and cadaver disks in my cervical spine. Just how much a person can take I don't know. But I have come this far in the past 11yrs.

RockyMtnGal 2010-10-18 15:54:15 -0500 Report

Sorry to hear things are tough right now. Will keep you in my thoughts. And vent away! Wouldn't recommend punching a wall though. Then you'd have a sore hand on top of it all! ;)

Chrissy6341 2010-10-19 03:56:32 -0500 Report

Thanks. I didn't punch a wall, don't need another injury,lol. I ended up laying down and passed out for a few hours, which was well needed because I have not been sleeping well.

Guardianstone 2010-10-19 12:53:30 -0500 Report

I hope the rest helped. Have you tried a Short vertual vacation? It's kind of like the river and thinking rock. They don't cost anything but time.
And many of us have too much of this on our hands.
Come with me for a cup of your favorite beverage.
We are at a nice outdoor cafe. The waiter seats us and pours our drinks. He is cute and has a twinkle in his dark violet eyes.
The view is of a fountain with a guardian angel looking over the tables. Somehow he looks like the waiter. We sit and chat while watching whe world go by.
Its time to return.
Take a deep breath and relax. Slowly open your eyes. Take another deep breath. As you release it you have a new point of prespctive. You are relaxed and calm.
I hope the v-vacation helps.
Guardian stone
Calm and relaxed

Guardianstone 2010-10-21 06:36:24 -0500 Report

I just realized that half of the trip is missing.
That's not fair. I worked real hard on that one.
I'll have to try again later.
God bles

Guardianstone 2010-10-21 04:33:21 -0500 Report

I'm glad you liked it. It is a short trip, and as long as you don't spend too much time in escaping into unreality.
Guardian stone

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