im giving up

t0tianna
By t0tianna Latest Reply 2010-10-31 11:23:50 -0500
Started 2010-10-17 13:49:16 -0500

i hate everything about diebeties and im never ever good enough for my doctor
its always loose more weight excorsise more blah blah i been working hard but the only way to get to there standards is i guess to look like a friggen toothpick and starve yourself nd eventually get depressed and then messes everything up
but no one understands at all nd i hate it i hate what this has made m become


31 replies

Elrond
Elrond 2010-10-31 01:22:31 -0500 Report

Yeah, it's pretty rough. But believe me, you CAN do it. One of the worst things about diabetes is that it won't even grant you a quick, clean death; it kills you a little bit at a time. Many of the others have heard my story a lot but I'll tell you.
I was diagnosed with diabetes more than 30 years ago. Like all too many people, I mostly chose to ignore it. I'd look at a sweet and say: "I'm not supposed to have that because I'm diabetic." Then I'd eat it. Sure I took my pills and after a while, I took my insulin but I ate and drank whatever I wanted. Exercise was only my job. This went on for a very long time. Then, when I was 43 years old, I suffered a catastrophic stroke. It paralyzed me on the left side for a while and caused me to retire from my job long before I was ready, either emotionally or financially. This totally disrupted my life and I eventually wound up in bankruptcy court where I lost my house and my car. But my diabetes wasn't done with me yet. Ten years later, it presented me with a heart attack. This time, I did die on the way to the hospital. Only heroic measures by an excellent team of paramedics pulled me back. Now only an electronic pacemaker keeps what's left of my heart operating. I have my diabetes to thank for all this and all because I didn't take care of it from the beginning. Sure, I've lived a long time with diabetes, you might too. But the trick is living happily and well. Take care of yourself. And all of us 'old hands' will be happy to help you.
Dave

shotze2
shotze2 2010-10-30 14:22:49 -0500 Report

I feel the same freakin way. However, my doctors did not test me for diabeties even though I had drastic weight gain in a short amount of time and I have totally changed my diet and still no weight loss. I know I need to work out.

shotze2
shotze2 2010-10-30 14:26:23 -0500 Report

Additionally, I suffer from extreme thirst, frequent urination, and its in my family. Why didn't my doctor test me when he new my perils with weight gain and inability to lose.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2010-10-30 16:09:20 -0500 Report

Nobody here can answer that for sure, we could only guess. The person who needs to answer that is your Dr.

shotze2
shotze2 2010-10-30 21:47:16 -0500 Report

Thanks, I know. I'm just a little bitter that I have been gaining so much weight the last 2 years and then an other rapid weight gain in the last 6 months when I've been stricly dieting, but not working out. I also take depression meds so I thought it was the meds I was taking and being a little unmotivated to work out and a little down b/c I've been unemployed for a year and a half. Furthermore, my COBRA just ran out.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2010-10-31 00:01:05 -0500 Report

That's pretty heavy Denise. Sorry to hear that. If you don't feel good emotionally exercise is often the last thing you want to do, but it is the best thing you could do. (been there done that) The endorphins help fight the depresion. I love to dance. It is cardio excercise but it's so much fun it doesn't seem (at least to me) like exercise. And I danced a lot even though I didn't have much of an income.

shotze2
shotze2 2010-10-31 04:18:26 -0500 Report

That's funny, I just went out tonight to boost my mood and I was dancing, had so much fun. But I want to talke dancing lessons but I just broke up with my boyfriend tonight. He was being totally unsupportive and selfish of my siituations. So good riddence!

lauramushkat
lauramushkat 2010-10-23 16:03:08 -0500 Report

You have an illness. It finally got thru to me that this is not a diet your pick and choose to be on or not.

Diabetic Education was what did it for me-insurance covers this or you can make payment arrangements-more important then cable if it comes to that!

If you are not going to do what your doctor tells you to then -

change doctors go to and endocronologist with a good disposistion that matches yours. make sure you are goijng every 3 to 4 months for your sugar test plus all the needed labs, your doctor is not just saying to loose weight but giving you meds and that you know you have to do things besides just take them.

investigate on the internet what has to actually be done to control things-you dont have to be a stick but you may need to cut out some foods because YOUR body seems to react badly when eatting them(I should be able to eat bread within my carb limits for a meal but something in them makes my count go up so there goes toast and coffee or sandwiches. bannans do the same). if your doctor is not giving you the proper advice you are not going to be better-you will never be well but we diabetics can be the best we can.

NEVER keep foods in the house you are not going to need-just want and they will call to you! If the only foods in the house are good for you then you need not worry.

If you are doing everything you can including getting the best help, doing as you need to to stay alive in the best way possible you have no problem that is not solveable to able tobe learned to live with.

If you do decide to give up-regardless of how young or old you are I would make sure everything is as stable financially as possible. you go thru your home getting rid of everything you do not need to live with on a daily basis, give to family, friends and charity those things you want them to have and know they want. Then prepare yourself to start loosing such things as sight, various parts of your body and maybe with luck you will go to a good nursing home while you wait to die.

Think I am kidding-read some of the horror stories on here of people with out of control diabeties.

If not stop being a crybaby and DO SOMETHING to change things that you can.
hugs
Laura

Gabby
GabbyPA 2010-10-23 18:37:56 -0500 Report

hmmm, this is pretty heavy.

lauramushkat
lauramushkat 2010-10-23 18:47:19 -0500 Report

yes, altho it is hopeful because she bothered to come here rather then just quit but hey this is reality. when you are visiting somebody in the hospital and see a man in a wheelchair with no legs you figure it is a result of war only to learn that he did nothing for his diabeties!
hugs

Gabby
GabbyPA 2010-10-23 18:49:25 -0500 Report

It is always interesting to get the story from anyone, that is for sure. I find it amazing some of the incredible things people have endured and still love life even through that struggle. I always say if it doesn't kill me, it will make me stronger.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2010-10-19 12:15:41 -0500 Report

HI,

You have already received some great advice and encouragement from your friends here on Diabetic Connect.

First of all, I want you to know that are still the person you have always been, your diabetes is challenging you but it doesn't have to define you.

If I may, I would also like to give you a little advice. With any chronic illness comes a lot of emotional issues as well. After all, a condition like diabetes can affect virtually every area of life. I would guess that on some days, as you suggested, you look around and wonder what the heck is going on.

Many of my clients are facing chronic conditions. They need help dealing with day to day frustrations, weght loss and gain, self esteem, self image, relationships... this all goes hand in hand with diabetes. So, to really manage your condition, I think it is also important to get help in managing your emotions.

You also used the word 'depressed' which is always a red flag for a mental health professional like me. If you are experiencing depression in any form, it is a good idea to get in tuoch with a counselor or therapist who can evaluate you for depression and make a recommendation for treatment, if needed. Whether temporary or long-term, it is important to address depression, which is a treatable condition.

Also, I would encourage you to build up your support network. Stay connected here, and you might also consider finding a support group in your local area. Support is power! Don't go through this alone.

You are on my mind! Keep your friends on Diabetic Connnect posted so that we can in turn keep you supported.

shotze2
shotze2 2010-10-30 22:04:29 -0500 Report

Hi Dr. Gary. I have been on depression medication and another medication that is said to cause weight gain for some time now. I see a psychiatrist every 3 months who always commented on my weight gain these past couple years. I thought it was b/c of the meds and I don't work out b/c I had a stressful job with long hours and didn't have the motivation or energy to workout. Plus, all I used to eat was cereal, pastas, but I also mainly ate lean cuisine type meals. So why the weight gain? He always made me feel guillty about it. My mom has thyroid which I get checked regularly. I also suffer for occasional insomnia and meds don't work for it either.

My primary care physician had me go in for a sleep study and results were suprisingly normal.

However, I was never checked for Diabetes.

I found out today my Granmda had it. For a couple years I've been super suffering from not only weight gain, but most recently extreme thirst, frequent urination, have a high BMI that states I"m "obese", and I smoke a pack a day (I know, I know I need to quit, but I can only do so much at once). I do however refrain from alcohol except for a couple glasses of wine here and there.

I'm going to the doctor Mond to ayget checked but it sounds to me like I have diabeties according to a risk test on the American Diabetes Association website.

Besides working out, I already diet and eat well, what more can I do????? I am so frustrated. I am embaressed about how I look and feel very insecure right now. I was avoid going out with old friends, new friends, or just about anywhere. I am unemployed too and have been avoiding networking events b/c of the way I look. However, a month ago I stopped talking one of my meds and my activity level, energy, and brain cognition has improved greatly. Despite that I am gaining weight. I know you may not diagnos diabetes but, what more (besides exercise) can I do???!!!!

t0tianna
t0tianna 2010-10-18 17:13:56 -0500 Report

thank you everyone
everything you guys have said made me feel like there is hope
its just hard
and i try my best but the best isn't ever enough for him
then its to the point where i just stop caring
get depressed and let the worst get to me
and family suport i have none
thats why i went in search for a place with people who can understand my feelings :(

carmenrose
carmenrose 2010-10-20 10:46:32 -0500 Report

If you have so many here on Diabetic Connect that want you to suceed, why do you place so much faith in a doctor that is not helping you out by encouragement, or have you talk to him about that. Tell him, that he's very negative and there must be something that you are doing right. If not, I would personally get me someone else that is more sympathic and more encouraging. Remember there are others here in the same boat your in—and personally, I love my life and my friends, I've just got a set-back is all—a challenge. And we also know quite a few of family and friends who have illness, aches and pains that they constantly strive to overcome on a daily basis. I know you can do this so please don't give up. Everyone you have reached here are doing the best we can, so can you.

echowit
echowit 2010-10-18 13:37:16 -0500 Report

Listen to these guys, Heather. Lots of veterans out there and they do understand. Whenever I get down I pour thru these postings and never fail to find answers. Maybe not specific "What does this mean" or "Why me" answers, but real-life advice and encouragement which are usually more of an answer than some pat formula.

As to "standards", set your own and go for them, but GO SLOWLY. It probably took you some goodly portion of your 17 years to get to this point and nobody should/can expect you to change anything over night.

As to diet and exercise, best advice I ever got was from my cardiologist — "Don't martyr yourself. If you're good all week, treat yourself to a cheeseburger."
(I didn't know a cardiologist could even say "cheeseburger")

I'll shut up now, but with two quotes:

You — "i hate what this has made m(e) become"

Gabby (below) — "You are so much more than your disease."

(See what I meant? Listen to these guys!)

t0tianna
t0tianna 2010-10-18 17:09:23 -0500 Report

thank u alot i always feel alone because i have no one to talk to besides my grandmother and all she does is ridcule me about everything
so its hard

Gabby
GabbyPA 2010-10-18 11:10:39 -0500 Report

Find a new doctor! You don't get your self worth from that person, you get it from you.

Find a doctor that will work with you instead of belittling you all the time. It is okay to hate diabetes...use that emotion to take it on. Don't let it make you hate yourself though. You are so much more than your disease.

t0tianna
t0tianna 2010-10-18 17:09:13 -0500 Report

the thing is i have medicade and the only specialst at the hosptial i go to is only one and is suppsose to be the best and my mom doesn't understnad how bad it makes me feel

Gabby
GabbyPA 2010-10-19 14:14:15 -0500 Report

You know what. I would rather have a doctor that cares about me and helps me than one who thinks he knows it all. I understand how it is when you have limited choices. I am uninsured and had to give up my family doctor and move on to a clinic where I can pay based on my income. I found out that I really like this doctor better than my other one. So it is not always the one with the nicest office or the most diplomas on the wall. If you have a doctor that makes you feel like quitting, then that doctor is ignoring his "do no harm" oath. My doctor is not a specialist, but at least he cares. The specialist in town won't take me as a patient because I am self pay. So guess who rules their world...the mighty dollar. I am glad to have found the one I have. You may want to consider it as well.

LennyDenny
LennyDenny 2010-10-18 09:21:56 -0500 Report

Never let yourself give up. You can do it with time and Harlan is right, you need to get a dr. that understands where your coming from. And NO you don't need to look like a friggin toothpick or starve yourself to be healthy. Nobody likes haveing diabetes, but it's a fact of life. It took me a long time to get things under control, but it happened. Look to your support for help and if you don't feel you have support your wrong, you do here.
Hang in and god bless
Denny

Harlen
Harlen 2010-10-17 21:42:29 -0500 Report

Heather Get a new Doc the one you have is crap you never ever need to feel that way I am so sorry that your going thrue this .It was 9 months befor I was even anywhere near getting my Blood sugars where they needed to be and my Doc didnt make me feel bad While I was getting there. one life style change at a time. Maybe one new one every one or two weeks. I know from experience you can not do it all at once.
Best wishes
Harlen

t0tianna
t0tianna 2010-10-18 17:11:21 -0500 Report

the thing is i had lost well over twenty pounds
my sugar was the best he has seen since i've been diagnosed
but then hes like
excorise more
put more salads in your meal u need them
and i get sick alot cause my immune system is low
and hes all like that shouldn't stop you from going atlease walk half a mile :/

bicker68
bicker68 2010-10-19 22:09:44 -0500 Report

You need a different Doctor, someone who cares about his Patients. I won't stand for somebody who puts me down. He's suppose to be working for you.

alanbossman
alanbossman 2010-10-17 14:31:48 -0500 Report

You really dont want to give up if you do give up your body will hurt you more than you can know and life is better than losing your body parts and maybe your life.
Alan

realsis77
realsis77 2010-10-17 14:04:03 -0500 Report

Don't give up its your health were talking about. Maybe its time to talk to your doctor about a new treatment plan maybe adding insulin or something that can help. Before insulin I could not get my numbers down I was so frusterated now my numbers are actually normal. There's other options for you. Don't give up, speak up and talk with your doctor. It can change your life for the beter. It did mine. Goodluck