getting on track

ssybils
By ssybils Latest Reply 2008-11-29 23:58:44 -0600
Started 2008-09-22 08:39:04 -0500

I know I am to blame, but I just can not seem to get myself motivated to start up again to control my diabetes. It was under great control over a year ago. But then I started having pain in my legs-continually. And the doctors still do not know the cause of the pain. They have tried everything. But I lost interest in managing everything. That goes from testing my sugars, to taking my pill and my insulin. And it seems when I do take my insulin, I get sick and vomit. I have a boyfriend who is living with me, he is always on my butt about testing, taking my insulin and pills. But he is always yelling about it. And I dont't know if that is the reason I'm not listening to him or just cause I don't care anymore. But I need some way of getting myself back on track, that will work and help. I do know it all comes back on me, but I can't do it alone and I need some help. If anyone out there knows of any way that I can get my butt back to one year ago, I'd appreciate it. I need the desire I guess. Please help. Thank you all.


19 replies

drdemento55
drdemento55 2008-11-29 21:37:48 -0600 Report

I uderstand that I am definately there now. I gained alot of weight which keeps me in pain so that I can't walk or exercise so I am fighting a losing battle. I start losing weight when I quit taking all my diabetic medicine and insulin. I quit taking my sugar levels because I am sick of watching them get higher. I know it is an excuse but I have no desire to do anything. It is bad enough for me to want to give up but I live with the most negative grippy man in the world. Nothing is his fault it is the whole wrld and he doesn't deserve it. I used to be very positive and upbeat. Now I don't car anymore. I am 53 an have 15 grandchildren, real and stepgrandchildren. I helped raise all of their parents so step just doesn't fit. Sorry got off the subject. I am down to eating one meal a day and my snack is fruit. I am just not hungry but I am drinking plenty of fluids. The sores on my legs get better than get really bad again. The neuropothy is so bad i feel little from my ankles down. It is in my arms, hands and legs also. With the fibromyalgia what a life. The doctors don't want to give you anything strong enough for the pain. I have an artificial r hip and shoulder. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I wouldn't do anything tomyself but right now life sucks.

Two painful feet
Two painful feet 2008-11-29 23:58:44 -0600 Report

Oh! Dear,
I'm so sorry that you are so depressed. I want you to know that you have a friend in me. I'm by my phone any time day or night. I understand about the pain in your legs. I had polio when I was 18mths old. So my left leg is mostly paralized. I have had nuropathy
for 15yrs of my good leg and a little bit in my bad leg. My nuropathy is caused from the polio not my diabetis as I have only been a diabetic for two months. So my good leg hurts most of the time and the foot hurts real bad and is tingly and numb. My stomach is paralized and causes me bad pain and sickness. So I had to have a feeding g-tube put in my stomach. On the very bad days I have liquid supplement put in. My diaphram has almost stopped working. So I'm on oxygen 24/7. I use a breathing machine that breath for me when my body stops breathing. My swallowing is so messed up I chock very easy. I have to have something to drink when trying to eat. My esphagus has(now don't laugh)nutcracker. It doesn't work the food down. So food gets stuck halfway down. When that happens I'm such pain. I have ended up in the hospital 3 times from the pain. I use fentanyl pain patches. The stronges pain killer out there. I have oxycodone for brake through pain. So you see I understand the pain you are going through.

Your Friend
JoAnna
503-363-8707

ssybils
ssybils 2008-10-05 18:46:55 -0500 Report

i am wondering if any of you have had gallstones with your diabetes or not. I dont know much about them but i have them. and now i may need my gall bladder out.

anitamusser
anitamusser 2008-09-30 09:15:28 -0500 Report

The water areobics is really a good idea to help your leg pain. The yoga is very rewarding and will definately help get you more focused. Myself, i love dancing because it is fun and helps me relieve stress. Your boyfriend is probably just scared for you. I know i have really scared a lot of my family and friends when my sugar drops low and i pass out. So hang in there and know that you are not in this alone.
Anita

Lori Dee
Lori Dee 2008-09-30 07:25:04 -0500 Report

I felt extremely ill before I was diagnosed. The doctor didn't put my symptoms together because they happened over a year's span of time. It started out with weight gain and exhaustion, then I started to feel hung over in the morning when I hadn't had a drop of booze to drink the night before. I started to have to run to the bathroom (they blamed menopause) and started to feel muscle aches all the time. My mind was covered in fog. I remember thinking I felt so utterly awful but nobody, including me, knew why. So even though it can be hard to stay on track, I remember how I felt and it motivates me.

caspersmama
caspersmama 2008-09-30 08:30:27 -0500 Report

Exactly. I had a horrible headache and thought I had a sinus infection and while I was at the Doctor he drew blood and I was at 412 blood sugar at 9 a.m. so that Saturday I was having the fasting glucose test. And the fun began. That was in 1990 and still have problems but everyday getting better and better.

Lori Dee
Lori Dee 2008-09-25 08:05:50 -0500 Report

I hate when someone who doesn't have diabetes tries to tell me how to eat. Even if they mean well. They insist on what I can eat (like baked potato chips) because they think it's only about sugar. The white kind in the bowl. I explain to them there really are no bad foods, there are limits as to what kinds of food I can eat. I also get people who insist that come on, I can have birthday cake. I can, if it's a small piece and I've prepared for it. I can't just cut off a big honking piece of cake because I deserve it. Someone forgot to give that memo to my pancreas.

It's difficult, at some times more than others but you have to call on your determination and strength of will and revise, I think, how you view food. When did french fries and cake become good foods in our eyes, while truly good foods are the ones that should be appealing to us because they actually nourish us.

Diabetes is a state of body and also a state of mind. If you get the diabetes under control, your mind will feel better too.

ssybils
ssybils 2008-09-29 11:54:27 -0500 Report

thanks i think you hit the nail on the head :-)

do departed
do departed 2008-09-29 12:12:35 -0500 Report

Over 21 years ago, when I was pregnant with my 2nd child, I was told that I was border line diabetic. 4 years ago, I was told that there is no such thing as a border line diabetic, If your sugar levels are 7% high and 4 % low, you ARE!!! diabetic.

For one year, I did not wanted to accept the fact that I needed to take medication, simply because I did not feel seek, I for most of the time a very active person, I walk, hike, dance, and travel world wide, so I think this activities, has helped me much on not feeling seek. I have taken about 5 different classes to learn about my condition, and learned much about it and to be able to keep my sugar levels at a normal most of the time, I came to a conclution, that I don't want to take medications, that will help my sugar levels or my colesterol, and asked my doctor what to do, she said! we have to do something drastic, she said you need to loose 20 pounds, and I will take you off medications, well it is hard for me, because I love to eat. I been able to loose 12 pounds, have 8 more to go, and hope to loose them before the year ends.
I will be 53 years old this Oct. 6, and hope to live many more for my children, I have 2 a son 28, and a daughter 21.
My advise to you, is to get as much information as possible, educate your self on this problem, and since your boyfriend is also very concern, have him attend the classes with you, this will teach him lots on your problem, and will be able to understand you much more, don't quit do what ever it takes, you are too young to give up. 3 years ago, I lost my father to diabetes, but he had already lived a good full life, he died when he was 82, so I'am trying my best to live at least past 82.
YOUR FRIEND!!!

morris.js
morris.js 2008-09-24 06:25:42 -0500 Report

Some of you know my story and some do not, but the short version is that I'm a single parent of a 16 year old, and a 22 year old. I almost died in October of 2003, and that would of left my kids in a terrible position. After that, I started to get serious about improving my health not only for me, but for them too. Today, my life is more rewarding and enjoyable than it ever has been. I still have Diabetes, that will never go away, but I'm on the road to using less and less medications for it. I at one point took 6 oral meds and and used an insulin pump, now I'm down to 2 oral meds and no insulin.
The point of all this rambling is to let you know there is a better life for you. It is hard work, but only take baby steps. Do not try to deal with it all at once, that will just make you more depressed.
You will succeed with the help of your "family" here.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Your friend for "Life",
John Morris

2008-09-24 00:57:23 -0500 Report

I have found that by getting involved in my husband's healthcare, that I am ignoring my own problems, but they continue to worsen, and I have considered suicide, Like you, I still have to think about myself first. As much as I love my husband if I can not love myself enough to help heal myself then how can I love or help others. You are young and beatiful, try to beat the pain by spending as much time doing things you like to do, when it is not so bad, not avoiding the other responsibilities you have, that can also be part of the problems with legs. And then little by little you will be able to deal with the pain and it's limitations, as I have. Hope this makes sense and helps you.:> \v/

ssybils
ssybils 2008-09-23 14:12:40 -0500 Report

thanks everyone, I do think I need some counseling, but it is embarrassing, but I'll do it. And I am trying to find a support group, but I am not having much luck, but I will keep looking. And I will try yoga. Anything that may help, I'm gonna give it a try. Thanks to you all, I think I'm gonna start taking better care. Bless you all.

Lori Dee
Lori Dee 2008-09-23 05:16:21 -0500 Report

I have times when I get tired of "being good". I start feeling discouraged and think wow, this is going to be the way it is forever for me. But then I get to thinking I needed to be healthier! My blood sugar being high was a catalyst. I needed to get myself into shape again. So I think of it as a change for the better, not as something that deprives me.

Something else I've begun to do which helps me so, so much is yoga. Seriously, try it. It relaxes you, stretches your muscles (there are two poses that have taken away my foot pain, plantar fas..fac..fascitis??) and it's good for you. I find that I am less focused on the negative when I'm doing things like yoga and talking walks.

Frustrated mom
Frustrated mom 2008-09-23 05:13:04 -0500 Report

My son has t1 diabetes, and I know there have been times where he just wanted to give up and it showed in this BS, but he will die if he does not mantain his diabetes. I know that this disease is very depressing and maybe it would help to find a support group..It sounds like your boyfriend cares alot about you, but he may just not know how to express his concerns for you…Like Patch said if you get your BS undercontrol, you may find that your leg pain with go away…My prayers are with you and I wish you the best of luck…

Leigh Marsden
Leigh Marsden 2008-09-23 04:24:50 -0500 Report

It sounds like you need to see a counselor. Depression is a terrible condition that needs to be addressed by a professional. Get help!!!! you are worth it!!! May Angels wrap thier wings around your shoulders!!!!
You are not alone.
Leigh

Leigh Marsden
Leigh Marsden 2008-09-23 04:24:49 -0500 Report

It sounds like you need to see a counselor. Depression is a terrible condition that needs to be addressed by a professional. Get help!!!! you are worth it!!! May Angels wrap thier wings around your shoulders!!!!
You are not alone.
Leigh

caspersmama
caspersmama 2008-09-23 04:19:34 -0500 Report

I have also had periods of wanting to give up but I want to keep my legs and eyes so I get back on the diabetes band wagon. I had pain in my legs and I started on Lyrica it seems to help. Plus I go do water aerobics and it helps too. The soothing heated water really feels good. I cannot walk because on my back so the water really is good. Plus I got a recumbent bike where I can sit comfortably and peddle while watching TV. But if you get back more in control it will help wonders. I hated the thought of all the testing and pills and insulin shots but the alternative is worse. About the insulin making you sick there are all kinds of new stuff to try. Be honest with your doctor and I am sure he can offer some new insulin or suggestions. My doctor is very easy to talk with and very compassinate. If I do not feel well he knows by just looking st me before he asks a question. Everyone should have a doctor that they can really talk to and believe in. He also believes in samples on new stuff. If we try it and it works then I get a prescription. If it doesn't I have not lost money. My blood pressure medicine that is working great my insurance does not pay for so I get a month supply from his samples till we can get approval. So good luck to you and this site has been great for advice and motivation for me. So keep asking us and we all will give our advice.

marvinvwinkle
marvinvwinkle 2008-09-22 09:30:30 -0500 Report

I can understand the lack of motivation. I've had D for almost 20 years and there have been extended times where I would just give up. I finally got hooked up with a Endo that was very aggressive and took an interest in what was going on with me. He changed all my meds and got me to walking. Since then I have lost over a hundred lbs and my blood sugar is under control. I occasionally will slip and eat something but I don't beat my self up over it. I know that I need to get back on the wagon and dust myself off. I also think it would help to visualize yourself with out any feet or legs and that should help motivate you, since you are having the leg pains. My pain disappeared when I got my sugars down where they were supposed to be and started walking more each day. Nothing will come to us easy, but that's the cross we have to bare. One step at a time and keep on keeping on. I know this is rambling, but I hope you take it to heart(or big D will). As far as your boyfriend, it sounds like he is really concerned about you, but you really need to explain to him that yelling at you will not work. Because your sugar is out of control, your emotions are out of control too. Don't let this get you down, keep your head up and know that you have a secret that only you know. Patch

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