help please-need to talk

By Maria1954 Latest Reply 2010-10-12 18:39:19 -0500
Started 2010-10-06 09:22:08 -0500

I need to talk with people about what I AM GOING THROUGH. It started 2yrs. ago my husband of 37years passed away and I was told I have diabetes2 the same week. Since then I have sunk so low into depression…am I losing my mind here?Someone please give me some advice or share with me. thank you

16 replies

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2010-10-12 18:39:19 -0500 Report

Hi Maria,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Nothing is more devastating than losing a loved one. That is an incredible loss.

Receiving a medical diagnosis is also a loss in many ways. So you are experiencing two major losses.

When we experience loss, it is normal to grieve, to feel great sadness. I can't say anything that would be more helpful than the wonderful support and advice that you are receiving from your freinds on Diabetic Connect. Feel the love!

I would also recommend that you consider reaching out to a mental health professional in your community. It could really be helpful to talk to someone about your feelings, and to help you through the grieving process. If necessarey, a professional could also evaluate you for depression.

Keep in mind that each of us grieves in our own way and at out own pace. Be patient and compassionate with yourself, and don't place any expectations on yourself about how you 'should' be feeling, or let anyone else do that.

Make sure that you have a strong team in place to help you during the weeks and months ahead. Don't go through this alone.

You are on my mind! Please keep us posted.

shorty1965 2010-10-11 12:03:07 -0500 Report

Please always try to talk to your friends and let some of them help you someone may be going throught the same thing and can talk to you about how they got throught it.

mas14years 2010-10-08 01:17:00 -0500 Report

I dont have the magic words to make you feel better or happy right away. All I can offer is my friendship to you. I know it helps a lot to talk about things and not hold them in. Never be afraid to say anything, because guaranteed somebody is going through the same thing as you. I try to come on this site every other day at least, sometimes I dont make it all the time. But I have learned so much on here for the little time that I have been a member. Honestly, you help people without even realizing it. It is like therapy for me and Knowing that I am helping others is very rewarding. So anytime you want to talk, vent, cry, laugh, I will be here for you.. That is the best I can offer, that and prayers.. Good Luck and Chin up.
God Bless,

RAYT721 2010-10-06 19:06:02 -0500 Report

Maria… welcome to our community, our "family" if you will. What you have and are going through is totally understandable. Depression is a common problem to people and doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you but is something that you should consider help for… counseling, medication, or meditation are viable options to help you sort out what you've got going on. We are here for the emotional support. If you ever need to talk, please feel free. We are genuinely concerned about you but I'd think a doctor or counselor may have better answers for you than any of us. If you are employed and on insurance, check your plan for assistance. If you don't have insurance, contact the United Way Agencies in your area for counseling and other resources that can help pull you up. We're here for you!!!

Jersey Terry
Jersey Terry 2010-10-06 14:47:39 -0500 Report

Maria - so sorry for the loss of your husband. I don't have diabetes, but my 10 year old daughter was diagnosed 2 years ago. We had lost my mother-in-law in June and my brother in Feb. so when she was diagnosed in Apr. we were really stressed and overwhelmed. Thank God she is a great kid and takes things in stride. She has made it easier for us all to cope. Fortunately, diabetes is a disease that is very managable. At the same time, changes in blood sugar definitely affect your moods and behavior. That's why it is so important to follow a good diet and monitor your levels. When my daughter gets low she will often get very whiny and sensitive and cry very easily. If you have type 2, there is a strong chance you can be healed from it. Are you overweight? If so, join a gym or take some type of exercise class. Losing weight is the best thing for those with type 2 diabetes. Also, change your eating habits. Eat more fresh fruits and vegetables and you'd be surprised how much better you feel. You might want to take a daily vitamin too. Whatever you do, don't isolate. My mother-in-law did that and spent that last five years of her life virtually alone. If you have children and/or grandchildren spend time with them and let them help you. If you're still working, talk to your HR dept. about wellness benefits. Many companies help pay for gym memberships or provide counseling to their employees. Also, if you have alot of spare time, volunteer. Nothing makes you feel better than helping others. I know I'm rambling, but I hope this helps.
Good luck and God bless.

realsis77 2010-10-06 13:28:31 -0500 Report

Its only natural to be feeling depressed at this tragic time in your life! I'm so sorry about your husband! Seek advice maybe join a group that deals with greif! Its important to talk about your feelings! I know its hard but try to take care of yourself! This is a great place to come for support! There are so many wonderful people here! We understand what your feeling! Reach out! Don't be shy! That's what this group is here for! Please please take care of yourself now! Its so important! If you ever need someone to talk with I'll be here for you, just mail me ok! God bless you and stay strong! You have a large group here willing to help you the best we can! Your not loosing your mind its just all the presure your under and the grief that's making you feel this way! There are many great books out there that offer comfort during these difficult times id look into them , possiably they can help you cope better. I wish you the very best and God bless you. Take care

Nova69 2010-10-06 12:22:39 -0500 Report

Hi Maria, First off, you're not losing your mind. It would by unusual for you not to be depressed given what you've been through. Diabetes can't be cured, but it can be well-controlled and once you get your blood glucose levels under control, you'll probably feel better than you have in a long time. To combat your depression, it's important for you to get out among people as much as possible. If you're naturally a shy person, it may be difficult but you'll just have to force yourself - at least at first. Try something new, join a club or a support group, anything to get you moving and reduce your alone time. It's time to fight back against your diabetes and your depression. It's a battle that can be won. Best of Luck.

CaliKo 2010-10-06 12:13:01 -0500 Report

I'm not surprised you are battling depression, you were with your husband for more than two thirds of your life. I can't share and say I understand that type of pain, but I've had other losses and the pain does ease with time. I'm sure it hurts that you can't discuss your day-to-day battle with T2 with him, too. Well, T2 certainly gives you something to pour your energy into. I would suggest filling your days with activities you enjoy that also help you work towards making your life healthy, and perhaps finding a support group of diabetics (in addition to your virtual friends here at the DC site). Take walks, explore recipes and shopping at farmer's markets. Create your own traditions that are meaningful to yourself.
If the depression continues, please reach out to a therapist. A good therapist can teach you tools that will help you deal with your depression. It doesn't have to be a prescription. Good luck with everything, and keep talking to us. Hugs.

Chrissy6341 2010-10-06 11:51:47 -0500 Report

We are all here because this disease has brought us together, is it fate? Who knows. But I consider DC and the people here as part of my family now. If ever you need to talk just give me/us a shout. We are here for you. {{HUGS}}

mo91108 2010-10-06 11:40:01 -0500 Report

I believe I know how you feel. My mother passes away 4 years ago, when I was 15, my brother went to prison, and my oldest brother lived in Virginia. 2 years ago I moved to where I knew nobody, and even till this day I don't know many people. 6 months ago I was diagnosed with T1 Diabetes, and got very depressed because I figured I needed my mother to help or at least my father who wasnt and still isnt around. I promise you it gets better, It's hard always, but every day it will get a little harder. What I did was I started running all the time to relieve stress and the depression. Maybe you can start there.

If you ever need to talk you can always message me.

Good luck & God Bless


Guardianstone 2010-10-06 10:28:39 -0500 Report

We all have had the depression from hell hit us. I understand. I just went through one. If you want we can talk.
See - Am I cursed?, the responses to my cry for hep have let me know I am not going to face this alone. There are good careing people here that can help. Diabeties can be a vicious circle that continues adding more to our burden, but we survive. If you are strong enough to ask for help, you are not crazy.
Try taking a few slow deep breathes, sip a calming cup of your favorite tea, maybe a bit of reflective meditation, and think about what you are greatful for. It sounds crazy but it helps to put things into perspective. The What are you greatful for? discussion (mine) has become something I never expected.
I hope the advice helps. If you need to talk, I'm around quite often. Holler out.
God bless
Guardian stone

Babes6995 2010-10-06 12:25:24 -0500 Report

It's so nice to know that there are good, kind, understanding people out there. They are the only ones (with diabetes) who really know exactly how you feel. I appreciate your thoughts and your caring personality. Keep in touch. Thanks again. Rita

jeffrey9127 2010-10-06 10:06:56 -0500 Report

Hello! I am sorry to hear you are having a bad time. Have you talked to your Dr. about how you are feeling?

Crashnot 2010-10-06 10:01:20 -0500 Report

You've found the right place! You are juggling having to take better care of yourself while working through your loss. That would be overwhelming for anyone!

Help us get to know you a bit so we know where you're coming from. Are you monitoring your sugars, and are they pretty level? Any medications that might be messing you up? Do you have family or close friends nearby to talk with?