What have you done for your loved ones lately?

By jason123 Latest Reply 2010-09-22 21:41:12 -0500
Started 2010-09-18 22:32:37 -0500

I was talking to a close friend the other day. 'Close' meant she is one of the few I trusted enough to revealed my DM 3 years ago, and she has supported and encouraged my change in diet,exercise and life style. I had asked her what her A1C was, her answer was 'Doctor said all my blood test came back normal…' and it certainly doesn't get any more re-assuring than hearing that…

Fast forward to 2 days ago, somehow the topic came up again, 'What IS your A1C?' I asked, 'Did you keep a copy of your blood test like I told you to?' To my surprise, she did, but it was a pile of paper in her drawer, took her 5 minutes to sort through them. When she did get them in order, the A1C results were 12/2007, 5.7; 12/2008 5.6; 12/2009 5.8. I looked at her and said, those numbers are in pre-diabetic level. 'WHAT???? How come my doctor never said anything to me??…' I told her she doesn't have a lot to worry about, but she does need to see a doctor (new or old), and diabetes or pre-diabete or what, make sure he get it right this time…I also told her to get a bg meter, test strips and go to a diabetic education class…just in case her doctor screw this one up..

I can't help but to notice how clueless most 'healthy' people are. She kept her test results like I told her to (most people don't even do that), but she never reads it, even if she does, she probably can't understand it or know what to look for…the easiest thing to do is hear dr say 'everything is fine'…and in her case, that is unfortunately not entirely true…

What I am trying to say is, if you are reading this and have been on this board for more than a few monthes, YOU KNOW A LOT MORE THAN THE AVERAGE JOEs OUT THERE about this disease, and you know it. Use your courage and caring to bring a loved one in-denial into a dr's office, so she can get the help
she needs; Use your knowledge and wisdom to pick up what medical professional have overseen, and finally if they let you, use your love to show them, through lifestyle change and hard work, they can sucessfully manage this disease just like you did.

I have helped out a few strangers online and offline over the years and it has always been rewarding, but nothing is more so when I actually helped out a loved one just as she had supported me over the years…so now I just have one question, What have you done for a loved one lately and how does it make you feel?

P.S. sorry about the long post…

28 replies

mo91108 2010-09-21 21:59:29 -0500 Report

Well my loved ones consist of my boyfriend,my neighbors, my family (of course), and a few friends. I have helped my neighbor who is only 14 and like my little sister with planning and preparing her quinceanera. My boyfriend and I came up with the extra money for her cake, and on friday I am baking 150 cupcakes for the kids at that are going. Whenever she gets stressed out she always has someone to talk to!

My friend Brittany was going to have to get rid of her dog so I am keeping her for a month until she is able to have her dog again!

I LOVE the feeling of helping someone and asking noting in return, but that is just the person I am. I help random people on the street when they need so if y'all ever need help and I am able to help or an ear to listen I'm here!

jason123 2010-09-20 20:28:13 -0500 Report

Update on this, my friend told me she went to see her dr today. The dr insisted an A1C of 5.8 is non-diabetic and normal. She then brought up what I told her. The dr, without admitting anything or agreeing with anything, offered her a diabetic testing kit on the spot and arranged her CDE class on wednesday and someone to show her how to use bg meter next monday…he did not give her any blood test or arranged any in the near future…What do you all think of the dr's performance? Is he a keeper?

CaliKo 2010-09-20 23:36:42 -0500 Report

Wouldn't keep the doctor, although getting her into a CDE class was good. Definately the friend is a keeper :-) Good job!

jason123 2010-09-21 06:32:36 -0500 Report

I was almost willing to forgive the dr until I heard he didn't bother to do any blood test or arrange any…she was 5.8 in 12/2009, maybe much higher now..If someone walk into a dr's office and say 'I think I maybe diabetic', the first thing any dr will do is testing her sugar, right? Did the dr just neglect to do that or he was afraid to find out…ironic isn't it, usually it is the patient who is afraid…

Pynetree 2010-09-21 11:45:49 -0500 Report

I find this Dr. questionable at best…Why no blood work? Maybe he loses $$ by refering patients for testing. And def. gets "kickback" from meter manufacturer.

GabbyPA 2010-09-21 10:25:23 -0500 Report

This is where having a buddy there with you can give you the courage to do and ask for the things we need. She needs to insist and call in to make a lab appointment. Does she get one once a year? That is what my doctor did for me. Maybe he is going to do one in December of this year? I don't really get why the meter and the class if he didn't agree with her issue. She needs to keep her log and document a lot of things. Have her write down her questions for her next appointment and take them with her. Then she needs to ask them, and she needs to write down his answers. This helps for review later.

jason123 2010-09-21 14:02:36 -0500 Report

She will get another blood test in december, but I thought she should get one much sooner than that…I would go with her to her dr if needed…but she is intelligent, independent, got plenty of friends/family, I am certain she will do what is best for her…I will pass along all concerns and advices to her and continue to monitor and advice, thanks for the suggestions and she'll be fine :-)

GabbyPA 2010-09-21 15:30:16 -0500 Report

It is great that you are looking out for her. I have to say that intelligence is not the key, but understanding she has to take a stand. I consider myself rather smart, but when it comes to the doctor, I used to be intimidated. Not anymore. I have found a voice and it comes from confidence. So what you see and what happens once that door is closed could be two very different things. I do okay on my own now, but after my first visit with then NP that was a nightmare, I took my hubby to a couple of visits, just to get my grip. Now I can do it. Preparation is a huge help.

bicker68 2010-09-20 23:19:24 -0500 Report

If I was her I would be finding me a new Dr., it sounds like he doesn't care or he just doesn't want to take the time for her. I would definetly suggest to her finding a new Doc.

Mama Dee
Mama Dee 2010-09-20 18:10:45 -0500 Report

Happy day,
No apology needed this is very good & to some maybe an eye opener to say I haven't done anything lately (if they be truthful to themselves) & actually do something. What folks don't realize is that doing something for someone should not be focus on money.
It can be time as for as you bringing them where they need to go (even lending them your car). Cooking a nice meal inviting them over are surprising them & bring it to them & serve them & their family. Having your teenager are cut there grass are go over & take out the trash for the older relatives, (on a weekly basic). Your daughter going over to a older female relatives home & wash & style their hair.
I can go on & on now that jason123 have stared our minds to thinking & I have put some thoughts down so your heart can start pumping to the ideal of I can I shall I will. Then watch the smiles you & your family will put on others facing. But most of all see how blessed & favored oyu all we be in the name of Jesus.

Working 4 Jesus, & Loving it.
Mama Dee

CaliKo 2010-09-20 12:29:03 -0500 Report

Thanks for this post. I know of at least one family member and one friend that is probably pre-diabetic. You've made me start thinking about how I can nudge them in the right direction.

GabbyPA 2010-09-20 18:52:10 -0500 Report

Please let me know how you go about it. I have a family member that does have an endo, but she has not seen her for over a year and I am curious about her results. I have to find a way to ask. I did ask when her next appointment is, and she is not sure. So I will keep prodding. Share with me what you do and maybe we can come up with something together.

jason123 2010-09-20 15:47:10 -0500 Report

I was lucky this friend of mine is intelligent and receptive. I have 2 other friends whom I suspect are at least pre-diabetic, but they intend to receive the bad news as late as possible, live 'healthy' and 'free' for as long as they can…very hard to help those who don't want it..

CaliKo 2010-09-20 16:54:09 -0500 Report

I'm familiar with that attitude, but I agree the reverse is more often true. I'm healthier and freer since my diagnosis, I'm sure it added healthy years to my life.

jason123 2010-09-20 20:15:57 -0500 Report

'I'm healthier and freer since my diagnosis, I'm sure it added healthy years to my life.' that is so true…now the question is how do we get this into their skull?

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2010-09-19 12:21:17 -0500 Report

If I could just add -- we help to heal ourselves when we help to heal others. No one can speak truth to power like someone who is coping with the same condition.

Harlen 2010-09-18 23:14:43 -0500 Report

I cook and slave away every day to make my wife and grand baby happy
ben canning apple pie filling all day lol
I dont make frends well and share little with others I dont know why I am this way but it is great for me to have a place where I can share and not be pressed from out side
So thank you all for helping me and letting me in.
Best wishes all

Pynetree 2010-09-20 10:05:11 -0500 Report

Harlen, Your post could have been written by my husband (change to: wife and GrandDOG) LOL. He doesn't make friends well…social inter-action is not his strong suit. But he does so much for me…he is my strength. But I don't tell him that…or not nearly enough. So sharing that post has spured me on to let him know, today! Thanks for that. Theresa

Guardianstone 2010-09-19 03:34:12 -0500 Report

Hello again Harlen;
I just read your post about helping. I think I see what your saying. You are somewhat like me.
There is a fear of having people get too close. It is like a sinister presence waiting to find your weakness.
I can try not to pressure you or cause you pain. You have friends that will try not to pry, or push to far. Hug your family for me and mine.
We all need a hug.
If you can't do, teach. That is a good old saying. I'm teaching again.
Gods love
Guardian stone
Smile alot it confuses the world making them wonder what's up.

jason123 2010-09-18 23:51:52 -0500 Report

I don't jump into discussions and go 'CONGRATULATIONS!!!!', 'YOU ARE DOING GREAT!!!!', 'AWESOME!!!' I don't know why I am this way either. I am here to learn, share, question, sometimes bluntly…So thank you all for helping me and letting me in.

Harlen 2010-09-19 11:12:41 -0500 Report

We are each difrent with difrent needs theres somone here that can help us we may not know each other well but we are willing to help each other.
Thats what makes this site so great.
Best wishes

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2010-09-19 12:20:11 -0500 Report

Harlen, some beautiful thoughts in this string of posts. Certainly an inspiration to me, and I am sure others. I hope you have a great week!

GabbyPA 2010-09-18 22:42:23 -0500 Report

This is a great post and very revealing. I have done this with a couple of people, but the one who I feel is at most risk, I have not. Why? I am not sure. This certainly struck home with me and I appreciate the challenge by example.