new to diabetes

Oak Grove Apts
By Oak Grove Apts Latest Reply 2010-09-19 20:44:10 -0500
Started 2010-09-18 11:45:39 -0500

I'm feeling mixed emotions about this, one is why me? and another is how can my life change so drastically.

8 replies

Krista Marie
Krista Marie 2010-09-19 20:32:00 -0500 Report

I understand how you're feeling, and you've already gotten some great advice, but I just wanted to add my two cents as well. My endocrinologist (diabetes specialist), put it nicely. He said, there are four things in life that we (most likely) can't change. 1) Our Genes 2) Our Age 3) Our Bodies 4) Our Gender. However, that still leaves quite a few things under our control which we need to remember and emphasize as we move forward. By focusing on what we CAN do something about, we'll feel more empowered and less defeated. I hope this helps a little, keep your head up!

katienewman 2010-09-19 20:21:11 -0500 Report

I think it is a greiving process to come to terms with the diagnosis. It is saying goodbye to life as we know it and possibly having to admit we are getting older and haven't take the best care of ourselves along the way (for me anyway!)

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2010-09-19 12:16:36 -0500 Report

Hello Oak Grove!

I counsel clients who are facing chronic medical conditions. You are already getting some great support and advice here from your friends on Diabetic Connect. If I could just add one thing. It is a normal reaction to a medical diagnosis to ask the 'Why me?' question. It is just human nature to wonder what we did or didn't do to cause the diagnosis, why we were somehow singled out for this burden. As other have suggested, there isn't an answer to this question other than that life just happens. But by asking 'Why me?' you are also giving yourself an opportunity to feel the emotions that are probably bubbling up inside of you -- fear, anger, sadness, and others.

In a way, hearing about a medical diagnosis is like experienciing a loss. Your daily life isn't going to be exactly what you expected it to be like. You have new challenges that you aren't exactly welcoming. Normal is going to be replaced by a new normal.

So don't be afraid to ask 'Why me?' and let yourself feel how you feel when you ask that question.

Free up some of those emotions. This is a great place to express how you are feeling and get support from others who understand what you are going through. You might also want to connect with a support group in your area where you can have a safe place to talk about your feelings.

When you are ready, information-gathering can be a great way to cope with your emotions. When you get informed about your condition, and what you can do about it, you can balance out your emotions with up to date knowledge. This doesn't mean the sense of loss goes away magically, but getting informed helps you to see possibilities.

Please hold this thought: You are not your diagnosis!

Keep us in the loop on how you are doing!

GabbyPA 2010-09-18 23:08:41 -0500 Report

Welcome to the site and I hope that you learn some answers to those very questions.

First, it is perfectly normal to have the "Why Me?" issue. It is tied up in anger, frustration, sorrow and even pity. Those thing will either drag you down or motivate you to go out and kick some booty. We are all here to help you do the latter. =0)

Your life will change drastically, one step at a time. All of the sudden, one day a year from now, you will be amazed at all the things you have accomplished! Trust me. It will blow your mind. So just focus on one or two things at a time, master those before you move on. You will see that your life didn't change, but it was built on a new foundation. It is hard work, but at the same time, it is most gratifying.

So things will be confusing and frustrating...just take a moment, write down a couple of attainable goals and work on those. It is kind of like making a quilt. You don't do the whole thing at once. You do it piece by piece and create little blocks. Then you put those blocks together. Then you fill in the middle with substance. Add a back(bone) to it and trim it all out. It takes patience and sometime you have to re-do something to fit the over all, but it eventually will come together.

Harlen 2010-09-18 19:25:27 -0500 Report

Hello and welcome
I know how you feel ben there done that.
One it's not your faulat if you got D you where always going to get it.
And yes it changes your life but thats life.
We just deal with it lol
Best wishes

jayabee52 2010-09-18 14:54:46 -0500 Report

Howdy "Oak Grove"
I've been Dx'd in 1995 so I'm not so new. Life is what you make it. (True for diabetics and nondiabetics alike). You can't often have a choice of what life throws at you but you DO have a choice about how you respond to it.

Negative emotions are understandable. The you which was healthy and didn't have to watch what you ate quite so closely is gone. You CAN live a long, healthy and full life if you learn how to manage your DM and then do what it takes to manage it.

"Why me?" I don't know. Life is not "fair" (whatever that means) sometimes. Sometimes you get it due to genetics. Some people get it as a side effect of some kind of medication. We can't usually point to just 1 thing which caused it.

The important thing is not how you got it, but now that you're Dx'd how do you manage it? I believe you're in a good place here at DC, where there are many many people who are in the same boat, who struggle with problems similar to yours and have for a while. Folks who want to share with you things they've learned or solutions which have worked for them.

Welcome to DC Oak Grove!

Blessings to you and yours


RAYT721 2010-09-18 13:43:24 -0500 Report

Welcome to our community! I was just diagnosed in March so I guess that's considered newly diagnosed. I'm still learning a lot and trying to change my life style, dietary habits, exercise plan, and everything else from the old days of eating 5-6 ice cream bars without blinking. You are in good hands here because we understand the fears and frustrations and we are here for you in the good times and bads. I don't think that any of us can answer "why you?" any more than "why me?" but diabetes can be controlled with better habits and focus. Contrary to stereotype, it wasn't sugar that caused your disease. It wasn't your weight. It wasn't your ancestors. Those are risk factors, not causes. I would encourage you to take baby steps in changing your life because throwing yourself into a gym for hours a day, limiting yourself to only salads and water, or trying to lose a bunch of weight (if applicable) overnight is going to drive you crazy before it helps you. Start small and think big and realize you are one in a million… in more ways than one!!! You've not only entered a website of diabetics, you've joined a family. Welcome!!!

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