Diabetes will not stop me anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By mas14years Latest Reply 2013-06-05 22:47:17 -0500
Started 2010-09-15 00:43:00 -0500

Maybe two months ago I had posted a blog about hating diabetes. I let it over take my life. I was no longer known as Melissa, just oh I feel so bad for that girl. I never wanted that to be me. Being in the hospital every month and the doctors telling me they cant help me, didnt help out. I am 27 years old and I was not living. I have had diabetes for 14 years now. I used to be very active in sports, lots of friends, laughing all of the time, and always wantiing to do things. Well around 5 weeks ago my boyfriend of 2 & 1/2 years had broken up with me. It completely blindsided me. I was his world. He called me multiple times a day. Every morning when i would wake up there would be a good morning, I love you message on my phone. Anything I needed, I knew I could count on him. We were in a serious relationship, but dealing with my illness and me giving up was just too overwhelming for the both of us. Of course he was too nice to say that, so he said he just needed some time to himself to kick off his career. The first two weeks I was a mess. I didnt get it or understand. I was determined to figure out why this happened. In my mind I thought there has to be another girl. I knew he still loved me but he wasnt acting the same. I wound up in the hosptial for two weeks. I was admitted with dka and a sugar of 911. 911 is right. I cried everynight. Then I got angry. He stopped talking to me, didnt visit me in the hospital, and became a stranger. He was my best friend, boyfriend, and the love of my life. I had pushed him away by saying, "oh, go out with the guys tonight", or "i'll see you tomorrow". I didnt always answer the phone when he called. I was miserable and didnt want to be bothered by anyone or anything. My life consisted of tv, sleep, the hospital, and every once in a while go out to eat or shopping. I basically stopped living.
I started thinking to myself, what do I have to offer anyone? I asked myself that night, "am I the best person I can be"? The answer was no. I am on social security and disability, I do not have a car, I do not have social life, I was ashamed of myself. I know that I am sick, but I let it get the best of me. I decided right then and there, get busy living or get busy dieing. Why would anyone not want to be there best. I decided to start my insulin pump again. Not to let diabetes defeat me no matter how hard it gets. I check my sugar every two hours and if i need insulin, I take it. I went out and joined the gym la fitness, am in the process of buying a tracker, started sellling a collection of guns for a doctor on gunbroker. com to make a lil extra cash, I am also going to start babysitting for a 2 & 1/2 month old baby, getting back in contact to talk and hang out with friends, and I am going back to church. I quit taking the medication that they were giving me. They had me on morphine, scopolamine, zofran, compazine. I was tired and dizzy.
I now feel amazing. I have been to the gym everyday and I am busy round the clock. It good feeling to be busy. There were things that would make me happy, like my family and Michael made me happy, but for the first time in a long time I was by myself and I made me happy. I am becoming the person I wanted to be. I am not a drag to be around. I am full of energy and a zest for life. The positives I am now living are rubbing off on all of those around me. I thank God for giving me another chance to live my life. I am no longer letting diabetes take control of me. I still do not feel too good, but I wont let it hold me down. I am going to do what it takes. Michael noticed the difference in me and I started noticing he was texting me more and more a little each day. Then on Saturday he asked to come over. As soon as he came he, he just started hugging me. He said he loved me since the first minute he met me and he still does. He did not know how to motivate me to make myself better. I am so glad he did what he did. I thanked him for breaking up with me. He motivated me to do better, but I am doing it for me. It is nice to have his support and have him back by my side. I could not be happier. My life is turning around.
Im sorry this is so long. But my message to everyone is "Live life to the fullest, never take anything for granted, and stare diabetes in the face and kick its ass! We can all do this together, you are never alone, and never, never, never give up. God Bless All!!!!!!

42 replies

JessTheMess 2013-06-05 22:47:17 -0500 Report

I had gone thru the same thing dragged on for 6 months with my diabetes and my ex fianc,we are now back together and I'm the happiest iv been in a very very long time my health is good and I'm kicking this diabetes the best ways I know how it's already taken so much from us and we can't let it take our any more!!:) Melissa you are an amazing women may God pour his blessing over you!!! I'm so happy for you:)

2013-06-05 21:11:16 -0500 Report

Micah. true that Marie`s posting is good, last tuesday I got a top of the range BMW M3 since I been making $9819 this - 5 weeks past and would you believe, 10 grand this past munth. this is certainly the most financialy rewarding I've ever had. I actually started 3 months ago and practically straight away startad earning at least $81 per hour. I follow the details on this straightforward website, Bow6.com

ilovelife82 2011-06-12 20:36:40 -0500 Report

Your message is awe-inspiring. I am very grateful for you to share your personal experiences with diabetes and how much it has profoundly conflicted your life in a negative way, but how you found the strength, courage and determination to live again! Thank you so very much for sharing this life changing experience and I hope to hear from you again soon- ilovelife82

marydiabetes 2012-07-09 21:45:53 -0500 Report

I am also awe-inspring, in early stage, I am also have the bad emotion, but we all find ourself, the biggest enemy is ourself

Cari Lee
Cari Lee 2011-03-07 14:51:10 -0600 Report

Good on ya, girl!!! Saw this was from Sept. but i hope everything is still good with u. Sometimes we need a shove instead of a boost. And God knows, maybe both. Blessings to u. U r not alone.

dietcherry 2011-03-07 14:31:53 -0600 Report

Melissa you brought tears to my eyes! Please keep fighting the good fight and know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Lots of Love to you! Renee :)

melissa5786 2011-02-24 12:09:22 -0600 Report

Sometimes it takes something so big to make us realize this disease isn't the end of the people we all are. I'm so proud of you! Keep your chin up and a smile on your face. You're giving yourself the best gift. You're getting your life back. Keep up the amazing work!

vgarrison 2011-02-01 17:29:12 -0600 Report

After I finished crying and then whooping for you…I reread it again!! Sounds to me like your man loves you enough to make you do it on your own…sometimes in life if we have a crutch and we lean on it too much, it will break…I'm proud of you! I know that is something that you had to do for you…sounds like you were having a hard time loving yourself there for awhile, but you realised that you really are worth living!!

Good Luck!!!

Blessed Be

angel 75
angel 75 2010-09-20 19:28:03 -0500 Report

I found out I was diabetic four years ago and at first I was afraid to eat or drink any thing, I was afraid that it would kill me or put me in the hospital, my old doctor caused me to spend six days in ICU, since then I found a new doctor that takes my diabetes seriously, I am doing great I keep my sugar under control, I lose weight, and I can actual eat what other people eat but small portions, so far my two teenage kids have not inherent it from me or my dad, I never knew that I could live with diabetes but I am and I am doing great, if you have diabetes or know someone who does don't give up I didn't.

mas14years 2010-09-21 14:40:27 -0500 Report

When i was first diagnosed I used to take a bite of something and hurry up and check my sugar. They didnt explain things to me very well. i was only twelve. I thought I was okay to eat pretzels all of the time, because they were low fat and zero sugar. i was never told about carbs. I am very glad to hear that you are doing so well and that your children have not been affected by it. I love kids and I am scared to death my body will not let me have them someday. I am working so hard on my health and diabetes right now. They tell me I must have perfect blood sugars for at least a year before I would even think of conceiving. I am not married or even engaged at this point, but my boyfriend and i talk about getting married and kids. I will never let it bring me down again.
Thanks for the kind words and your encouraging story. Good Luck to you and God Bless!!!

bicker68 2010-09-17 05:13:47 -0500 Report

Mas,as I read your story and felt so bad for you, but as I read on I thought yes this Girl is getting down to buisness. You knew deeply in your heart what was going on and the Dear Lord helped you get the strength to start fighting back. Keep up the great attitude, your a wonderful person…


mas14years 2010-09-17 14:21:33 -0500 Report

Thank you so much. Strength is what we all need. I actually where a bracelet with the word strength on it now. Everytime I feel tired or dont want to do anything I look at it and say, "Deag God, please give me the strength to do what I need to do". He will not let you down.

angel 75
angel 75 2010-09-20 20:32:07 -0500 Report

the lord will never let you despite that people will, the lord has never let me down, I almost died from diabetes because my old doctor didn't take my diabetes serious, my new doctor and me are not going to take my diabetes for granted, I thank god all the time for letting me live.

mas14years 2010-09-21 14:43:32 -0500 Report

I think of all the things that diabetes destroys. I mean I have a list of them, but i thank God that I still have my vision, kidneys, limbs, and for another chance to fight this battle. It is too hard to try to fight it alone. I am so thankful for this site and the support that it gives. So many people have helped me with their kind words. I am here to help anybody in any way that I can.
I am glad to hear you are doing better. Together we can beat this.
Thank you and God Bless,

hogrider37 2010-09-16 09:40:36 -0500 Report

Im glad you turned yourself around. Thats fantastic. Your a really beautiful woman inside and out. Maybe you should consider niow that your on the right track and have it together again, call your ex and tell him that. If hes what you said he is, he'll understand and forgive you. You have nothing to loose. Too many people dont try or give up. I denied my problem, it couldnt happen to me. Everyone else but not me. When I admitted to myself I have a problem after like you, a 2 week hospital stay, I went full steam ahead. I was determined to do more. I belong to 2 motorcycle clubs and hold positions in both. One being VP. I had 2 friends say when i found out I was a diabetic I took 5 years off to get things together. Thats letting it defeat you. You cant let that happen and Im glad you realized that. Good luck to you and God bless you. things will fall into place for you.

mas14years 2010-09-16 21:13:29 -0500 Report

Thanks for your kind words. Yes, Michael had called me one day and can tell I had changed just by talking to me on the phone. I had noticed that the texts were coming in more and more. Finally he came over and said he wanted to be with me. It was the best feeling

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2010-09-15 23:11:56 -0500 Report

Thanks so much for your inspiring words. I have thought about you and wondered how you were doing. Now I know. Onward and upward!

mas14years 2010-09-16 21:15:30 -0500 Report

Thank you, I am trying my best. I hope you are doing well as well.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2010-09-17 22:23:04 -0500 Report

I am fine, thank you. I hope that we stay in touch. I want to know how you are doing and support you in any way that I can. You have been through a lot!

GabbyPA 2010-09-15 19:41:39 -0500 Report

This is an incredible turn around! You are an inspiration to come from the depths that you did to find that you can love yourself and live a great life. You are right, that other post was a different person. It is good to have the real Melissa here now.
You deserve a bunch of big ((HUGS)) and a smile or two! =0)

mas14years 2010-09-15 20:37:06 -0500 Report

Thank you so much. It really took me a long time to get here. Now that I am, I never want to go back. Hugs, thoughts, prayers, and many smiles to come your way :)

GabbyPA 2010-09-18 22:00:53 -0500 Report

You will do well and go far with that attitude. Keep it in your reserve, for the days that are gray...it will bring you sunshine.

mas14years 2010-09-20 09:06:53 -0500 Report

Thank you, I had a great weekend. I spent all three days with michael doing all kinids of different things. It felt great that things are starting to feel right between us again.. I also met up with a few friends on saturday night and had a lot of fun. I just thank God for giving me this chance. Thank you for all of your support and kind words. This site is like a second family to me. I love it and if I can help anyone out i would do my best.
Best wishes and God bless,

jason123 2010-09-15 17:42:11 -0500 Report

Hey mas, I don't know you, but I am so happy for you…help me out here, I am sorry but this dude got really short attention span, I got to as far as you broke up with bf and then…You are just telling us you got a new bf right? Am I right?

mas14years 2010-09-15 20:38:49 -0500 Report

No, it is the same guy. We got back together this past weekend. We were broken up for 5 weeks. He saw the change in me and I guess that was all he wanted in the first place. He wanted me to be happy and try my best

thabrat30 2010-09-15 11:43:56 -0500 Report

There are alot of things that could be said… all I am going to say is "YOU GO GIRL!!!!" It's rough sometimes, but you got through alot and you did an amazing job. Sometimes you don't know your own strength until you lose everything else. :-) So proud of you!

mas14years 2010-09-15 20:41:16 -0500 Report

Thank you so much. I am really proud of myself. I wish it didnt take me this long to get here, but I cant change the past and Im not going to dwell on it. The only thing i can do is push forward and that is exactly what I am going to do..

RAYT721 2010-09-15 10:39:28 -0500 Report

What happened yesterday can't be changed but your determination to work with today and work for tomorrow is admirable and you'll find many great things happening. It's so important to battle forward with self-love and self-care before anyone can take you seriously and that may have been one of the things involved in your breakup. The new you can be behind the new relationship(s) in your world. The new "never give up" attitude will help with the stress and the lowered stress can help with fewer medical needs. It is a cycle. You have a lot of friends and it's important not to shut them out of your life. Keep us posted because we are here for you on both the ups and downs, the good and bad. We are in this together. I never signed up on your friends list just to collect friends. I truly want to be your friend because I care for and about you very much. Now, go directly to the virtual hugs page and get yourself some!!! You deserve them for what you've gone through but you'll need them for what you are and will be going through. Hugs and hearts!!!

mas14years 2010-09-15 20:44:48 -0500 Report

Thanks Ray, I have really come to value our friendship. You are somebody in my daily thoughts and prayers. You have been so kind on lending advice, making me laugh, and genuine concern for me. You have helped me through this tough time and I truly appreciate it. If there is anything I can ever do to help you out just let me know. In the mean time, I am here and will continue to value what a dear friend you are to me. Best wishes for you and your wife.

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