Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression and Type 1

kaylajo91
By kaylajo91 Latest Reply 2010-09-20 01:58:03 -0500
Started 2010-09-13 14:38:55 -0500

I am pissed. I hate living with Type 1. I was diagnosed after my first child, when I was drinking 3 gallons of water at day and lost 15 lbs. I was happy I had been the lowest I have ever been since 6th grade! I went into the doctor they tested my blood sugar and it was 537. He was super concerned, set me up with a diabetic class and someone to communicate with. I went to the class the next day. After the class was done the teacher pulled me aside waited for everyone to leave and then hit me with the news you have to take insulin every day. Every time you eat you have to give yourself a shot. I about fell to the floor. I started out good checking my sugars doing the insulin shots have my A1C at a 5. (Which is the lowest I have ever had!) I am not today at an A1C of 7.5. That is better from 6 months ago when I was at a 9, but still I feel like I never ever want to take my blood sugar. I now have a insulin pump but sometimes I don't even care to give myself insulin. I am pissed because when I had gestaional diabetes when I had my first child and they never every told me. I am pissed at that doctor that never even told me. Sure I was young have my first child senior year of High School, but I still had the choice to know.

Four years ago I was finally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Depression. I feel sometimes I take my diabetes and use it as a tool to slowly die myself off. I want to know if anyone else feels this way. I talked it over with my therapist and she thought it would be a good idea to see if anyone else has ever had that feeling or am I the only one out there? Please help me get out of this rut and not make me feel so alone.


4 replies

bicker68
bicker68 2010-09-20 01:58:03 -0500 Report

I also had gestational diabetiesbut was lucky enough to be told, and 5 yrs later was dx with type 2 in 2003. In 98' I was diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety, and then 5 yrs ago with Bi-Polar Disorder believe me I know how difficult it is it's something you never get over. There are times I go into a deep depression and it hard to get out of the rut, but only you can pull yourself out. I thank the Dr. for the meds that he has me on to help control the symptoms and depression those are meds I know I'll be on the rest of my life like my Diabetic meds.
Please don't ever feel alone, I'm here if you ever need to talk just send me a friend request I'm here anytime and I have a big shoulder.
Please take care and God Bless You.

bicker68

newbie51
newbie51 2010-09-13 19:12:48 -0500 Report

I have had 4 kids and they were all big babies. I wasn't told that I had gestational diabetes until my 4th one. They only told me that I could become fullblown diabetes within 7 years of his birth. They didn't tell me anything else. Sure enough 7 years later I was diagnosed Type 2 insulin dependant. I also have Borderline Personality Disorder, BiPolar Disorder and Anxiety Disordr. So I know what you are going through. I've had Diabetes for 16 years now and am just now getting a grip on it. When you are ready to get a grip on it, you will. Just be patient. Good Luck!!
Judith

Gabby
GabbyPA 2010-09-13 18:52:58 -0500 Report

It is normal to go through what I call the roller coaster of diabetes. We do great at first, then we get tired of it as it sets in that this is for life. It does suck. It does suck a lot. But you have a baby and a family. You have a right to be pissed, but I would not stay there. Diabetes is something that will bring you enough mood swings on it's own, so don't hold on to those feelings for too long or they will eat you alive.

You are not alone at all. We all feel the same things, to different degrees, but we do understand. I know this past winter I lost my desire to keep on top of things and nearly put myself into the hospital. What a stupid move on my part and I am back on track. Everyone's wake up point is different and many of us need others to help us over that huge mountain of emotions. We will help you through, we are here. We may not be in your shoes, but we are walking the same path.

Harlen
Harlen 2010-09-13 18:16:29 -0500 Report

I am so sorry they didnt tell you.
You are the only you there is and the only mom your kids will know that is why you take care of your self .
You got a bad deal life is hard it always was and always will be but thats just life.
Best wishes
Harlen

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