How can I help my Niece?

By bicker68 Latest Reply 2012-02-26 17:11:35 -0600
Started 2010-09-11 00:12:49 -0500

When my Niece comes over she has me check her bs, and it is usually between 190- 280. She hasn't been to the Dr. to be tested for Diabetes, but I have told her that she has it and that she needs to get an appointment to get tested.
She tells me she will, but she's scared. Does anyone have any advice for me that would help me to help her?
I would Greatly Appericate any suggestions.

Thank you,

Tags: niece w

44 replies

dkhalil 2012-02-26 17:09:25 -0600 Report

be there for her and go with her to the doctor appointment to let her know you have her back i had to do this with a good friend of mine

pixsidust 2011-03-22 01:14:20 -0500 Report

Tell her the truth. She can get help and being young she might reverse this thing. If she keeps being scared she could die after doing her body terrible damage. This is her chance and her opportunity at life. She should grab it. Talk to her parents. This is serious

jojo1369 2011-03-21 20:33:02 -0500 Report

Plz encourage her to go or make a deal with her you will get tested if she will. This health issue can cause very serious health problems that I would not want to scare her or yourself.

bicker68 2010-09-17 02:01:10 -0500 Report

UPDATE… My Niece came over today and I finally got to talk to her about going to my Dr. and she said she would call tomorrow, and I told her that I would go to the Dr. with her no problem. I handed her the phone and had her call right away, Thank you Jesus, her appointment is Tuesday afternoon. I'll let everyone know what her results are when they are back.
Thank you to everyone for your advice, I greatly appericate it…


GabbyPA 2010-09-18 22:14:23 -0500 Report

That is great news. Be there with her and for her. Even though she knows or expects what the news will be, it is still hard. So I know your support will help her so much. Then introduce her to the site here. We too, will be there to help her out as well.

bicker68 2010-09-19 05:53:29 -0500 Report

Thank Gabby for the support and I will definetly be there for her there's no problem there for we are very close,even if we wasn't I'd still be there. I really try to help those in need anyway that I can. I will also introduce her to DC, for this is a wonderful site with alot of wonderful people on it, with alot of great advice and kind words.

Pamiekae 2010-09-16 15:23:54 -0500 Report

Have you offered to go with her to the doctors? Maybe knowing that she won't be going alone to talk to one would help her. Also before the doctor visit help her with writing down questions for her to ask so she doesn't feel like she is going in there blind or afraid to ask a question that she thinks might be stupid or silly. From being diabetic, I knew my mother also had the disease and just like your niece, she would promise to talk to her doctor but even when she did go in to see him, she never said a word. I finally offered to go in with her and approach the subject with him for her and it went smoothly. She had the labs taken the next day and once te results came back we talked over the numbers and then on her followup with the doctor we went over them again and what they meant. Maybe this approach would benefit your niece also.

mo91108 2010-09-15 11:45:19 -0500 Report

Honestly it's a horrible thing to do, but I would scare her with all the complications of diabetes. I erally didn't want to take care of myself and change you know, and I'm only 19 but after I heard everything that could happen right away I changed my attitude and diet right away! Good luck with your niece though. Tell her I said Good luck and I hope everything turns out okay! -Monica

hogrider37 2010-09-15 08:36:05 -0500 Report

Hi Bicker, unfortunetly you cant make her go unless she wants to. BUT, if I was in your position I'd make the appt and take her. Tell her no ifs ands or buts. I did the same with my daughter that was having a hard time breathing, and smoked 2 packs a day. I took her to the dr i work for, they did tests and found a spot on her lungs, she still smokes but I did what i could do. The rest is up to her. Take her, she needs to find out whats wrong with her. Good luck

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2010-09-14 22:19:15 -0500 Report


I wasn't sure from your message how old your niece is. This would influence how you might want to handle this issue with her. For example, if she is still living at home with her family, her parents will need to be involved in understanding the risks and arranging for medical care. If she is living on her own, then the responsibility will be hers alone.

She is fortunate to have someone like you who has taken an interest in her, sees the warning signs, is concerned, and wants to reach out to her. And I would communicate with her out of your love and concern. I would remind her how much you care about her, and why you are concerned. I would also give her some information about diabetes -- not to scare her -- but to help reassure her that it is a treatable condition and people with diabetes live full lives by taking care of themselves and being compliant. As you suggested, she doesn't need any more fear, but she might respond to a hopeful message.

You might offer to accompany her to the doctor and be with her when she receives the diagnosis. And if she is diabetic, you might also offfer to be her buddy and partner on the treatment journey.

If you are also diabetic, you can also be a positive role model.

I have always found that when you act of love, people are more likely to be receptive to what you have to say.

I hope this helps!

bicker68 2010-09-14 22:52:27 -0500 Report

Thank you Dr. Gary my Niece is 48, and yes I'm also diabetic. I'll let everyone know how it goes. I wasn't able to see her the other day for I have been down sick.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2010-09-15 23:09:49 -0500 Report

Ah hah! I got it. Definitely old enough to be on her own. Still, I maintain that it is wonderful that you are so concerned about her. Please keep me posted. And I hope you feel better soon.

LByer1 2010-09-14 20:57:10 -0500 Report

I would like to share my experience from about 5 years ago. I was in denial just like your niece, and only after loosing my eye sight in one eye, did i realize the seriousness of having too high blood sugar. I was experiencing readings in the 300's, 400's and a few times even in the lo 500's.
I was so abusive to my system, i could finish off a pound of fudge in less than an hour, and a bag of PB Cups in same amount of time.
I paid for my compulsive disorder, but i hope this alerts your niece as to what may happen if she continues to ignore her condition till something goes wrong, then its too late !!!!!!!
I'll be happy to talk to her for you!

L e e . . .

Pynetree 2010-09-15 11:06:46 -0500 Report

Hey Lee, I lived in that area..DENIAL…for awhile too. Sad that a problem health issue has to get us to reality. How are you dealing with the sweet/carb cravings now? I have a real problem with avoiding them completely..try to indulge moderately.

jason123 2010-09-12 09:02:01 -0500 Report

I think we have all misunderstood your question. You are not asking WHY you should help your niece, but HOW can you get her to a dr. May I suggest there is free ice cream served at your dr's office today? (what? I just woke up…)

bicker68 2010-09-12 21:19:17 -0500 Report

Thanks, but I think everybody else understood my question. Have the most wonderful day. Take care and May God Bless you.

bicker68 2010-09-11 21:05:16 -0500 Report

Thank you all so much for your advise, and may I say it's all great advise. I will call her in the morning and see how she's feeling, I know she hasn't been feeling well lately. I did give her the number of my Dr., for she doesn't have one and I am more than willing to go with her. Plus she has many other health problems, but goes to pain management for those problems. I'll definetly let ya'll know how this turns out. Again thank you for you time, and wise advise.

kdroberts 2010-09-12 08:33:24 -0500 Report

How is she not feeling well? If it's nause/vomiting and abdominal pain she needs to go to a doc pronto. If she has lost some weight rapidly over the last week or so, even more pronto. If she start to breath in a kind if deep, labored, gasping kind of way, go to the ER immediately and tell them you suspect DKA fro diagnosed diabetes.

bicker68 2010-09-12 21:26:35 -0500 Report

She gets nauseaed alot w/ some vomiting, she has also lost 80 ppounds in the last 6-7 months and sometimes has blurry vision. It scares me so much, I'm going to her house tomorrow and I think I'm going to call my Dr. office while I'm there and get her set up as a new patient and an appointment. She might bicker with me for a few minutes, but I have to make her realize how serious this is. Thanks so much. Take care and God Bless you.

GabbyPA 2010-09-13 18:35:30 -0500 Report

With that kind of thing happening, she needs to get to a doctor soon or she is going to end up in the ER and that is not good. Those are scary symptoms. Serious ones.

Kaiyle 2010-09-12 04:35:19 -0500 Report

I didn't want to hear about going to a doctor when my family impressed upon me to go. However, when I woke up one morning and my vision was blurred, they no longer had to convince me to go. I pray that your niece will listen to the wisdom of her aunt.

GabbyPA 2010-09-11 16:04:23 -0500 Report

This is a little unconventional, but it might be where she is coming from. Perhaps she is afraid of the "failure stigma" that is attached to it. I found out before I could afford to go to a doctor, but the confidence I had when I finally went came from doing things on my own to get the ball rolling. I had done some research, purged the pantry, got buys doing things I knew I needed to do. I had the support of my mom who is also diabetic and that helped a lot. Maybe you and she could buddy up and do some things together, help her feel better about it, and that may help her be more willing to go to the doctor. Maybe even if you went with her the first couple of times?

Unfortunately, with numbers like that, she really needs to take steps. You can guide her with your lifestyle changes. That will help her a lot. The first visit is the hardest because it becomes that finite statement "you have diabetes". Even if you suspect it, it can be hard to hear.

BUT uncontrolled diabetes can lead to more finite statements that are far more frightening.

Jeannie Holmes
Jeannie Holmes 2010-09-11 11:31:23 -0500 Report

I'm going thur this with a guy I work with. I know he's DM, but he won't go to the doctor. I think he's afraid he will have to change his life style!!!!!! All you can do is keep encouraging them and hope they will some day listen.

RAYT721 2010-09-11 10:48:09 -0500 Report

Definitely a doctor's fasting blood test will be able to diagnose a condition like diabetes more accurately than a random test and can also find other issues like kidney, cholesterol, etc. so it's in her best interest to get tested professionally. It's hard to talk someone else into something that even though they know is right, they may not really want the answers to. I kept putting off my physical exam, blood work, colonoscopy and other things that my new doctor recommended. The diabetes totally floored me. Of the classic risk factors, I had zero. Basically you can't force a person to go to the doctor and/or take care of themselves but you could offer to go with her, talk to her about the long-term effects of untreated diabetes, and just be supportive by recognizing her fears. Short of those things you can't really do much. There are some keys to controlling diabetes and you know many of them. You can offer education, motivation and inspiration but only SHE can take the action to do what has to be done.

kdroberts 2010-09-11 10:11:05 -0500 Report

If she has diabetes, which would seem likely, she will get diagnosed sooner or later. However, it's better to find out with no complications and on your own terms than with serious, permanent problems and in the ER. If she has type 1 and doesn't get tested soon, she will end up in the ER close to death.

speak up
speak up 2010-09-11 08:43:43 -0500 Report

I agree with James, she needs to get tested, if she checked after eating I have been told that can give a false reading, but she still needs to be tested and if she is scared then you could offer to go with her, yeah I was a little scared to be tested but not half as scared of not knoing and maybe lose my legs, my organs or worse my life, pray for the words to get her to go to the doctor, and who knows maybe she be told that she can control the problem with just diet and excerise and not pills or shots, not that they are bad, but maybe if she catches it early she will not need them! I wish you strength!

sc1boy 2010-09-11 07:56:58 -0500 Report

You can talk to her and tell her all the possiblitys of have diabetes, like eye problems, losing a leg, organ trouble, and anything that she may enjoy.

jason123 2010-09-11 07:07:01 -0500 Report

I second James' advice. Just like to add, while diabetes is bad, the DIAGNOSIS of diabetes is actually good news IMO. It forces one to change his/her unhealthy behavior (usually), and allow medical professional to offer the help one need. Remember, it is not diabetes that kills you, it is the complications that does.

jayabee52 2010-09-11 00:41:40 -0500 Report

Diane, please impress upon your niece the damage she is doing to herself every day she hesitates to get Dx'd and start the process of managing what (it seems) that she ALREADY has. Dx does not GIVE DM, it merely CONFIRMS what one already has. And much damage which may lead to serious complications may already been done.

Should you want me to tell of the complications I suffer from delaying the managing of my DMt2 please email me and I will tell of my experience so you can show it to your niece. I would like her to know that she can avoid ( or postpone ) taking the path I have taken because of my hard headedness.

Blessings to you and yours

James Baker.

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