Frustration hit

By thabrat30 Latest Reply 2011-02-13 07:49:32 -0600
Started 2010-08-05 12:53:45 -0500

Last night, when I got home from work, I was immediately asked what I wanted for dinner. Well, I was already upset. I had just spent my afternoon outside in the heat and humidity for our office picnic and my car wasn't running right. When I am upset/stressed I tend to not eat at all. So my response was "I don't care. I am not hungry." To which I got "You are the one that has the special dietary needs in this house, you are going to have to plan the dinners around what you can have." At this I just walked away. Normally, we work as a team so I wasn't sure how to take that. He looked at me and started to say "I know this is hard on you…" and that is where I lost it. I told him that he didn't know and he didn't understand because he CAN eat what ever he wants. I guess I have finally hit the point where I am tired of counting the carbs and the sugars but I am also tired of feeling the effects of eating the other way. I guess there really isn't a question to this whole thing other then please tell me I am not alone in these frustrations. I guess alot if it comes from the fact that I am struggling at work because there are a few diabetics that work here that don't really watch what they eat. One is on an insulin pump and drinks Mt. Dew, he just ups the insulin. It drives me nuts and I tell him about it all the time. I just changed the way I eat and no one understands.

Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend has been WONDERFUL through this change. I may have just been a little touchy yesterday? He took me to the store to look at what I CAN have in an effort to make me feel better. I just get so bored with eating the same things over and over again. I am a picky eater to begin with, so trying new things is hard for me.

13 replies

Anonymous 2011-02-13 07:49:32 -0600 Report

Yes, I too am envious of those that can eat whatever they want with no effect on their pancreas. I am frustrated that so many diabetics that do not control themselves. I hope your journey is easier, now. It is sooo hard at first…then, it becomes natural. You are saving your own life.

thabrat30 2010-08-11 12:49:35 -0500 Report

Just an update…
I am doing a little better about planning my meals for the week. I, however, forgot to take something out for dinner this evening. So I called my son (who is 13 today) and told him to discuss the food choices with the other 2 kids and take something out. I am a little nervous to see what they picked. The plus side is that I know what I am having the rest of the week and weekend! We are going camping and I put the menu together.

RAYT721 2010-08-07 02:57:45 -0500 Report

"What do you want for dinner?" I used to hear all of the time, usually first thing in the morning when dinner was the last thing on my mind. I didn't even have my socks on yet. My response, "I don't care… what do YOU want?" … Let the games begin!!! It was like when I was a kid, "Mom can I go (insert place)?" to hear "I don't care, ask your father." "Dad, can I go (insert place)?" … "Ask your Mother." I swear those two people never heard a word I said. "Can I go set fire to the dog's tail?" … "I don't care, go ask … "

It's hard to think about pork chops or chicken when you haven't had anything in your system for more than 8 hours. At this point you are feeling like Sally Struthers should be showing off your sad little face for some World Hunger Campaign.

If I don't care and she doesn't care and nobody cares, why don't we just have a package of Oreo cookies and a six pack of beer??? Ah, common sense comes into the picture because we have to eat and we should eat healthy. Sure it's easy to just head out for dinner because it's cheaper than a divorce and why not let someone else serve us so we don't try to poke each other in the ear with a dinner fork because while we didn't care all day, we are now starving!!!

Yup, that was one day in the life of my sweetheart and I in my pre-diabetic and her pre-gastric bypass surgery days. We both agree on lowering our carbs but we still have issues with the "I don't care" attitudes. So… here's our newest thing:

Our solutions? We now sit down when the store sale fliers come out. We look at the loss leader items, sort through the coupons, sort through recipes and while we still don't care what we have to eat, we at least have the options narrowed down to seven entrees for the week. Planning and communication are the keys. (Just FYI… planning also works with budgeting and achieving all kinds of goals… together!).

Instead of going out for pizza we use low carb tortillas and fresh ingredients to make our own (cheaper/healthier) pizza in about 20 minutes. We plan ahead for the fish that's on sale with a little blackened seasoning and maybe a veggie on the side … cost $5 for two people, time: 20-25 minutes. I pack my lunch for work and often use leftovers to use them up. We don't do the "same old, same old" routines any more. We try new things. If they work, we keep them. If they don't, we toss them.

In your case I am sure it was the heat that caused the tempers to flare higher than the oven. You're hot, you're tired, you're probably hungry (but you don't know it yet).

It's a very common situation and I am sure that many of us can side with you (or side with him) … Ya know what … Go ask my Mom or Dad. They won't care either!

Planning and communication … it's not just for breakfast anymore!

vgarrison 2010-08-06 20:55:16 -0500 Report

I have found that focusing on what I can eat helps me with knowing what I cant eat. See you had fast food, but still stuck to your carb "ration"!!! Great feeling isn't it when we can get a little dose of normalcy!!!!

Also realize that our sugar levels can and will affect how are moods are. Your snipping at your boyfriend is normal, but it can still be hard. For the first couple of months after i was diagnosed whenever I would bite my hubby's head off he would just look at me and say diabetic. It really made me realize how much I was snipping at him and didn't even know it. I started checking my levels as soon as he would say that…and come to find out I would almost always be high. Don't get me wrong now I snipe at him and I blame it on the D…it's just fun sometimes!!!!

Good Luck

Blessed Be

thabrat30 2010-08-06 11:02:57 -0500 Report

Thanks everyone. At least I know that I am not alone in the frustration. I am trying to deal with it all and not get as frustrated. It is a nice thing to know that I do have great support, both home and here.
Last night, we bought a car and I hadn't the time to eat dinner before we left to go get it. We stopped at Wendy's and I was starting to get a little upset. Paul took my hand and showed me the nutritional info that hangs on the wall. I had a kids meal of chicken nuggets and fries! I actually think that there was too much food there… but I wasn't going to let the fries go to waste if I was counting all those carbs (23g in a childs size)! I was so happy I could have danced right there in line.

Bubbles2526 2010-08-06 10:27:53 -0500 Report

I totally understand how you feel.. having been recently diagnoised I too get so frustrated with having to watch what I eat.. how much I eat.. when I eat.. I go to bed worrying that my sugar will drop to low during the night or go to bed with it to high! The ups and downs are driving me crazy! My doctor suggest the south beach diet to follow and I immediately lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks BUT! my sugar was too low and the craving for just a few sweets every now and then was driving me mad! So I cave in.. now I can't seem to get back on track. My weight is at a stand still.. I still don't know what is an ideal sugar level and I am so frustrated I could scream! I just don't know what to do now.

GabbyPA 2010-08-06 09:57:25 -0500 Report

Emotions often get the best of us. Diabetes is never ending and the stress that is there with trying to do what is right can be daunting. The fact that you see that is a great step though. Sometimes we just need to let it out how frustrated we are. I get that way a lot when I test and think my levels should be in a better range than they end up being.

You have a good support, don't let that slip away. People who don't have it are not going to understand it. Do you understand the cancer survivors' struggles and fears? To a point, but not really. It is the same with every disease. Unless you live it, you won't get it. But that doesn't mean that the people who love you don't want to help.

The picky eating thing does make it harder. Trying new things can open a door up to you like never before. I have always been an adventurer in the kitchen, so in that way, I cannot know how you feel. But diabetes took many things away from my pantry (not in a bad way, but I still had to adjust) So I started finding new things that I never knew I liked until I tried them. Some I found to be not so great, but at least I tried them. LOL Spice combinations are one of the things I have found great joy in. That can change up a same old meal in no time. So maybe you could start there?

Now go give your man an extra big hug for trying so hard. Let him know that you are trying to understand his emotions as well. He is struggling in a different way, but he is still struggling right along with you.

MAYS 2010-08-05 14:07:23 -0500 Report

First change your thinking, there is NOTHING that you cannot eat !

I can, and do understand your frustration, watching other diabetics eat outside of personal guidance and hearing them say things that make no sense at all such," I'll increase my insulin dosage", startles me.

As diabetics we are constantly under stress, try to control and limit the amount of unnecessary, outside stress, all it does is raise your blood glucose level.
You are responsible for your diabetes first and foremost !

Be creative meal wise, what we "can't have" is a myth.

Shatter it !


klfrcmom 2010-08-05 13:46:23 -0500 Report

I'm right in the same boat as you!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so tired of plain almonds, raw veggies and ice water for snacks…
people who love me don't understand… they offer me the goodies they are eating — when I accept, they scold me like I'm a bad dog and when I pass, they tell me I'm being too militaristic. ugh.

Over the past 2 or so years, I've made a ton of dietary changes — down to my goal weight — but guess what? there's no payoff! You just gotta keep doing it… you are not alone in being frustrated… not at all!

puddin2509 2010-08-06 21:21:06 -0500 Report

I stay frustrated, my temper sores, if someone makes me upset. My blood pressure sores, etc, naturally. I have never been one to lose my temper, until lately. I was diagnosed March 2008, was on Metformin with another pill. For 2 years, and the pills didn't help. Finally changed dr's and sent me to St. Johns, diabetic clinic, for insulin. At first was on Lantus, but now am on that plus meal time insulin ( novolog ). I feel it's the pits' from time to time, but I know that I need to do this. Exercise is very important, and diet. Eventually hope to control the disease with diet and exercise, and NOT EATING. :)

monkeymama 2010-08-05 13:23:47 -0500 Report

Hello there! I at one point in my life, earlier in my diagnoses began feeling and saying the same things to my husband and kids. I still do on occasion say it…BUT when I hit "my" big reality check of myself and the diabetes. I made a change in our house after seeing how they were eating. I allowed them each 2-3 things I would not take away from them; within reason. I made changes to what I was buying us, portion controlling, and how often we were eating/snacking. I made all of these changes slowly and gradually within my house. I am getting them to try healthier, fresher, and new meal ideas that are just as flavorfull as other unhealthy foods. There are plenty of magazines (from library or other store) and cookbooks you can look through. See what you like and go with the flow. Take a unhealthy recipe you may like and make it your own and healthier. If you have to, try making something healthier spontaniously and see what they think before telling them. I was surprised by the wonderful "this is yummy mommy/honey"…

I too am a insulin pumper for almost 3 years now. I watch what I eat and still eat a special snack 1-2 times a month but THAT has its limits. I have a 120g per day limit (20 each meal & snack combo) with my pump-with a SMALL flexibility in there. i limit my diet sodas to 1 per day and drink lots of water, propel, and Crystal Light Fitness. It sounds like that person is abusing the pump. Just because one has a pump. Does not allow us to go and eat WHATEVER we wish. We still have to watch what we eat and we have limits (at least my pump does) how much insulin per day I should/can use. If one goes beyond that, than that means they are not controlled. I hope I have been able to help you and give you some ideas.

puddin2509 2010-08-06 21:23:08 -0500 Report

Yes, I do understand what you are saying, here. I to am on insulin, Lantus and Novolog. I know what I am suppose to eat and how much, but it is so hard. I am trying, but failing at time.