Hi! my name is Amanda I am a 20 year old Type 1 diabetic. I have had Diabetes for 6 years. I was Diagnosed when I was a freshman in high school. Since then I have jumped through all the hoops. I took the highly regimented NPH therapy, moved to Lantus and humalog which gave me slightly more leeway and now I am happy to say that I am on pump therapy with a green one touch ping:)
This all sounds well and great except for i still struggle daily with myself to accept this damn disease. A friend of mine told me her mom blogs about her diabetes so i thought maybe it would help me too.
First, I feel like no one understands. No one knows how hard it is to cope with diabetes. I always seem to have it together and under control but the truth is that I still become anxious if I see a reading that is even relatively high or low, I get angry at those who think they know what juvenile diabetes is but don't! or when I feel like being normal or happy is out of the question because of my disease.
My Blood sugars throughout the years have been decent but never where I want them to be in order to feel like I will live a long healthy life. I was hoping that finally taking the plunge by getting the insulin pump (after years of fighting it) would help with this, but im starting to feel like pump therapy is no better than giving injections. I understand that Diabetes takes work but is it really supposed to be this hard. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for various reasons but having diabetes is like the icing on the cake.
Am I crazy does or has anyone with type diabetes feel like this? Does it feel like no matter what you do that having diabetes will bring you down?
My mom has always said that " soon it will become like second nature" im still waiting for this day. i mean I wont forget that I have diabetes I cant remember what life was like before it, but my pump, my meter these are just constant reminders of what a pain in the ass diabetes really is.
Finally I would like to know two things. First, what the hell is up with no one knowing anything about Type one Diabetes. I mean even physicians are clueless. Its frustrating and annoying im all for diabetes education not only to diabetics but everyone else! Second, does anyone who has diabetes also have graves or thyroid disease?
Thanks for anyone who reads or listens I would appreciate the reply.
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