Well I really need to get this out in the open as a part of my accountability. Sometimes, when I am experiencing weak moments I will plan on cheating. I go out and actively search for something especially bad for me be it a huge slice of Chocolate cake from my favorite bakery, or a nice juicy burger with a side of fries. These moments hit me when I am frustrated, lonely, worried or angry about something. I take no one with me, so they can't tell me "No, don't do that" or they can't tell on me. I had a moment yesterday, after a hard workout where I found myself in a drive thru ordering a cheeseburger. I bought it and it sat next to me in the car. The smell alone was delicious and as it sit there I argued with myself. "What's it going to hurt?" "It's just one small cheeseburger" " You've worked out" " you can't deny yourself everything" " No one will know" Luckily, the trip home was short but seemed much longer with that burger as company. I was able to give the burger to my son as soon as I got home. I demanded that he eat it, which he happily did. I have been very fortunate so far at not giving in to these cheat excursions, I buy the things I want to eat. I even smell them and might even take a small taste but so far I haven't indulged myself. I always have someone to give it to. Guilt about it get's to me so badly, it feels like premeditated murder sometimes. Does anyone else do this? What do you do to cope with it?
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