Confessions of a Diabetic

By bettymachete Latest Reply 2011-08-17 14:57:47 -0500
Started 2010-07-19 12:05:58 -0500

Well I really need to get this out in the open as a part of my accountability. Sometimes, when I am experiencing weak moments I will plan on cheating. I go out and actively search for something especially bad for me be it a huge slice of Chocolate cake from my favorite bakery, or a nice juicy burger with a side of fries. These moments hit me when I am frustrated, lonely, worried or angry about something. I take no one with me, so they can't tell me "No, don't do that" or they can't tell on me. I had a moment yesterday, after a hard workout where I found myself in a drive thru ordering a cheeseburger. I bought it and it sat next to me in the car. The smell alone was delicious and as it sit there I argued with myself. "What's it going to hurt?" "It's just one small cheeseburger" " You've worked out" " you can't deny yourself everything" " No one will know" Luckily, the trip home was short but seemed much longer with that burger as company. I was able to give the burger to my son as soon as I got home. I demanded that he eat it, which he happily did. I have been very fortunate so far at not giving in to these cheat excursions, I buy the things I want to eat. I even smell them and might even take a small taste but so far I haven't indulged myself. I always have someone to give it to. Guilt about it get's to me so badly, it feels like premeditated murder sometimes. Does anyone else do this? What do you do to cope with it?

42 replies

Ary Lopez
Ary Lopez 2010-11-03 01:24:54 -0500 Report

Hi betty, I have the same problem since im type I and on an insulin pump I think I can get away with it but in the long run Im the only one hurting myself and now its just me I am also hurting my son I wish I had ur mentality but what I would really like is someone to talk to I feel lonely and very depressed. Any suggestions?

kkisthardt 2010-09-06 07:50:46 -0500 Report

well i have done that too i have type one and think i can get away with eating what ever i want then feel bad i have to get my sugar down but am not trying hard enough i hate to go to dr and get the a1c result 13 usualy i hope its better this time.

YaYaSkidz 2010-08-03 10:24:47 -0500 Report

OF COURSE — we are human! Thank God I have four children! They've all gotten unexpected treats! I do it mostly when I grocery shop. I buy things and tell myself they are for my husband or kids but isn't it amazing I picked up my favorite flavor, not theirs. I actually do a pretty good job of backing down — what does it for me is I write EVERYTHING down. I am a strict journal girl. And that journal helps make me accountable. I show it to all three of my docs (family, endo, gastro) and I think about how embarrassed I would be for them to read "3 cookies" or "a big mama slice of pie". Its sort of my consequence or conscience. Its taking it from "just me" to "somebody else will know".
Good Luck everyone.

Artsbabygirl 2010-07-31 08:42:14 -0500 Report

I admit I cheat.I was doing well as long as I could exercise to keep the sugar down.But slipped a couple of disks in my lower back and can barely move so gonna have to make some serious changes now.

Smolfsine 2010-07-28 09:27:04 -0500 Report

I do fall though also. I like to cook so I have experimented with how to make different things with splenda. Also when I want to be naughty I many times take my dog for a walk in that way I will walk away some of the sugar I am building up in my blood. I am on metformin and insulin. I also take instant insulin. And with instant insulin it is sometimes "easy" to take a little more to eat. But I have found that it is salat if I am going to be lasy to day. I can eat bread potatoes if I am going to be more ative. I love potatos btw I love to eat them way to much. I no longer have the problems with eating cake or candy. You can get some real good sugar free chocolade. I buy them if I realy get the cravings. What I have a huge problem with is getting my portions small enough. I love food to much. I gues I live to eat and not eat to live. I know that can kill me. Also my husband do not have diabetis and he dont always understand that he may not give into my weeknes and say oaky if you really wants. Thats when I get really bad and eat like chips or frenshfrises that really will get my bs up.

giltx71 2010-07-28 07:06:07 -0500 Report

its hard trying to stay away from the foods you love but you have to find substitutes. I sometimes cheat too. i think it would be easier if you have someone that has diabetes so they can help when u have those cravings.

LKeplinger 2010-07-21 09:25:44 -0500 Report

The greatest part is that you have identified what triggers you…emotions. Now, you need to find a distraction.

maduks 2010-07-20 17:20:52 -0500 Report

When i get angry i feel like eating chocolate or other food also, but i just go for fruit or grab a small salad with light dressing.

Doryian 2011-08-17 14:57:47 -0500 Report

Since this post is about honesty… I must say, in my book, a small salad with light dressing is no substitute for chocolate! Good thing for me there are sugar-free alternatives! I applaud you on your self-control though!!! (:

ccritch 2010-07-20 12:52:10 -0500 Report

I just had a 1/2 bar of 3musketeer bar, you know when us girls have our moments you know what I mean. I have to have something that is chocolate or sweet. Well, today is my momment and I had my chocolate and ate it too! It was gooooooood!!! I confess I CHEATED!!!!!! but I calculated it into my carb count and I have to take a carb away from dinner and/or my snack meal. So it kind of works itself out.

God Bless

nanax2 2010-07-20 08:17:33 -0500 Report

I have just joined this group today. . . my confession is that I usually eat pretty much what I want! I know I count on my metformin to take care of me too much. I do have some self control but probably eat way too many carbs on a daily basis. My last A1C was 6.7 Just this morning at the gas station on the way to work I bought a pastry and iced tea. Tasted good but I regretted it later - too sweet! Doing the drive-through thing is just too easy.

Cheryl3660 2010-07-23 09:57:31 -0500 Report

This sounds so familiar. My diabetes was "controlled" by my diet for 11 years. My A1C consistently came back at 6.5, sometimes even 6.4. So I was never very vigilant about what I ate. I tried not to eat candy and cake that often, but I still ate pretty much whatever I wanted to when I wanted to. Last November my A1C came back at 8.4. In January I had managed to get it down to 7.2 but I now have to take Metformin and I am am still trying to get my sugars stable. I would still be medication free if I had just been more diligent. I am now dieting and exercising in order to avoid having to go on insulin. When I was young and thin exercise was enjoyable, now it's one of the hardest things I do every day. Doing the drive-through was way too easy for me, as well. Please learn from my lesson, it may go on for years and be fine, but one day as if seemingly overnight every one of those drive through meals and pastries will all catch up to you. They sure caught up to me with a vengange!

GabbyPA 2010-07-19 20:32:03 -0500 Report

I have done that. Mostly when I am so busy and on the road. I have been eating Micky 'D's breakfast for almost a week now, and I hate it. For me, once I get off the junk kick, I can stay away, it's just getting started on that. Thanks for sharing, because now, I am determined to kick my junk habit...smoothies anyone?

bettymachete 2010-07-19 20:59:47 -0500 Report

Would love a smoothie!!! I am totally off junk food and fast food. I do feel better for it. I do get those urges and sometimes it makes me crazy fighting with myself. In the end I am happy I had the will to stop myself.

Harlen 2010-07-19 18:40:47 -0500 Report

Good job
I know its hard.
You are always with you and you always know
I did and do get that feeling too but do I need it or do I just wont it ????
And yes some times I do need it but only 5% of the time lol
you did good,
Best wishes

bettymachete 2010-07-19 21:02:51 -0500 Report

You're right I am always with myself and I know. It was like the little devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other while I was in the car. thanks for the support Harlen, I have a long way to go but day by day I make a bit more progress.

MAYS 2010-07-19 18:29:44 -0500 Report

I misplaced my "diabetic halo" yesterday.
I took it off to have a slice of Devils Food cake (seriously).
What a mistake that was later, but at the time it tasted great !

Diane987 2010-07-19 16:13:29 -0500 Report

Girlfriend, we all go through this. Whenever I meet a new diabetic I tell them there are three things you need to remember always. First, don't forget how scared you felt when you found out what is wrong. I say that because the fear can help you when you face moments of great temptation. Second, learn how to "cheat" on your diet properly. That means when you are having one of those cravings that just won't go away, you need to satisfy it before it becomes a complete meltdown with loss of control. Learn what to eat as a substitute for your cravings, or how large a portion you can have of the actual item without it seriously effecting your blood sugar. Third, create your own "Diabetic Hail Mary". I'm not Catholic and don't mean to offend anyone, but anytime you see Catholics portrayed on television saying a particular number of Hail Mary's usually relieves them of whatever guilt they had, no matter how bad the crime. So a "Diabetic Hail Mary" is your penance for not following the other two rules, or for using the other two rules in excess.

I have a handful of DHMs. I put them on 3 x 5 cards and pick one blindly when I need to. That way I don't always pick the easiest one to do but have an equal chance to get a tough one. Some of mine are:
1) Walk 2 miles on my treadmill uphill in addition to my regular workout. Must be completed within 3 days.
2) Vacuum the entire house.
3) Wash the house windows.
4) Sweep the driveway.
5) Do 100 leg lifts in addition to regular workout. complete within 3 days.

You get the idea… when the task is complete you let it go and get back on track.

Good luck and God Bless,


YaYaSkidz 2010-08-03 10:12:47 -0500 Report

Hail cookie, full of sugar, unfortunately you're now in me,
Blessed am I among diabetics and
Blessed is the fruit I should have eaten
Holy Mary, mother of God pray for us sugar sinners
Now and at the hour of our cheating.

as a certified catechist, I couldn't resist. This is your Diabetic Hail Mary.
The 3x5 cards are called penance.

Roy531 2010-07-19 15:30:48 -0500 Report

They say confession is good for the soul. If all of us were to confess, there would not be any room on this web site for anything else. lol Believe me I get the temptations as well and sometimes I fall short. But for what it's worth I forgive you if you will forgive me as well.


Mama Dee
Mama Dee 2010-07-19 15:03:24 -0500 Report

I have help my husband w/this by letting him know that there is nothing that he cannot have he just need to do it in moderation.The way I cook for him is the same way I eat (I have high blood pressure) so I try to eat well. So what we do if he feels like he just have get something out of the ordinary then we both do it together. Now he knows that w/me I will limit him to a certain amount & that's that. We normally talk about it while we are eating also saver it @ the same time then move on. I will be praying for you concerning your guilt I hope know God got you.

Working 4 Jesus, & Loving it,
Mama Dee

bettymachete 2010-07-19 21:18:17 -0500 Report

It's always easier when you have someone going at it with you. My husband is my No guy. Always telling me

I appreciate the kind words and prayers thank you so much Mama Dee!

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2010-07-19 13:17:33 -0500 Report

Believe I would seriously question anyone who said they NEVER had these type cravings. Makes it worse because you know you shouldn't do it. I seem to go thru periods occasionally where they seem worse than they do most of the time, thank goodness. I too hate that guilty feeling when I give in to those cravings. You have to find out just what you can eat or do when those times pop up (something sweet, but that isn't full of white surgar and starch, etc., and going straight to a hobby or walk, etc.). I personally think we deal better if we can give in now and then to a small "treat", as long as it doesn't get you on a roll and make you give in more. It really is a matter of thinking of the outcome from indulging too much and too often. Is it worth it? Sounds as tho you're doing a great job, so keep up the good work.

soldierswife 2010-07-19 12:41:35 -0500 Report

I do this a lot! Especially since I faced surgery, and then had surgery. Which now i know is really not good since i cant get up and walk it off or exercise at all. But, I don't know what your numbers may be, but cheeseburgers dont really bother mine. Its only the cake, cookies and ice cream type things that bother mine. Now, my addiction is soda. I was drinking cherry coke zero and then my husband brought in cherry coke and i couldnt resist it. he was going to take them back but i was like, no its ok. its just a few soda's right? I had a massive headache after drinking one and realized, yea, my body is not used to this anymore. I don;t know how to over come it. Maybe we never will but you seem strong enough to fight it! I love cucumbers and ranch dressing. I find myself wanting to "snack" a lot lately. So, i keep cucumbers handy and they are satisfying for me. So, maybe find a veggie you like a lot and try that when you just need to eat something. i wish you the best with this!

bettymachete 2010-07-20 11:58:41 -0500 Report

You just keep taking care of yourself. Part of healing is good nutrition diabetic or not! I wish I had a small fridge in my car, it would make things a LOT easier. lol

MAYS 2010-07-19 12:37:45 -0500 Report

Guilt creates stress and stressful situations in one's life.
You have no reason to feel guilty, you had a moment of desire, one that does not translate into "premeditated suicide," unless it becomes continuously habitual.
There is no food that diabetics can't have, it's all about portion size and personal preference.
We all experience this feeling of guilt, sometimes we cheat, until we teach ourselves not to.
Please do not let it consume you or your diabetes management routine, it's working out for you, you're doing great and we benefit from it, as well as you do !


Mama Dee
Mama Dee 2010-07-19 14:52:00 -0500 Report

You are correct about diabetics can eat all foods just in moderation. We all come short of the glory of God I said that to say this. When you want something that may fall off the suppose menu & actually eat it. That's ok just remember not too over indulge on a regular. The thing about guilt you don't have to let it control you are your life. Don't get depress behind what you have eaten saver it & move on.

Mama Dee

Armourer 2010-07-19 22:05:42 -0500 Report

It has taken me thirteen years to realize that I can't have carbs period! I don't process the stuff well, and I love beard, chips and fries! Last month the diabetic educator doubled my insulin finding out that I've been under medicated. True, one can eat anything. I can now, and at family parties I do indulge where before I stayed away from the event. I still manage portions but at least I can now be a part and insulin adjustment is the saver. But…I find it is better if I stay away from the carb foods, and don't rely on insulin. The more insulin used, the more the cost. Yet every once in awhile it is soooo nice!

lasonyac 2010-07-19 22:36:36 -0500 Report

Well i am also one who just can't eat carbs. Im on insulin and metformin my sugar still seems to run high

bettymachete 2010-07-20 12:03:22 -0500 Report

Like the both of you I just really have to do what I can to stay as far away as possible from carbs, I am really sensitive to them and while I am not on insulin yet, the writing is on the wall if I let myself go.

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