So Depressed!!

By Sweetrthnhuny Latest Reply 2011-10-20 20:21:09 -0500
Started 2010-07-02 04:57:33 -0500

So I have had diabetes for about 4-5 yrs now. I feel like my life is spiraling out of control. Every since I began the medication for the diabetes I have gained about 80 pounds. The treatment of this disease is so crazy to me. Everytime i walk into the doctor's they tell me to loose weight then they put me on medication that makes it almost impossible. I'm so frustrated at this point I just want to stop taking all of these meds and just throw in the towel. At least I would look good. Truthfully there are three reasons I have not done that and they are my kids. Before I was diagnosed with diabetes I feel that my life was so much better. Even though I was tired and sick all the time I still looked good. I know that sounds horrible but it's so true. I feel like my life is slipping away and I have no control over it. I went from pills to insulin in about 4 years. Life sticking yourself with needles doesn't seem worth while to me. However I know I did this to myself. The worst part is that my kids see the effects it has on me and have asked if they will grow up to be the same way becasue of me. OMG how that hurt to no end. Well needless to say I'm so depressed I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. The sad thing is I have no support what so ever. My husband refuses to change his diet cause my disease isn't is problem and that he can eat whatever he wants. What a winner right… And now that I'm so overweight he doesn't look at me the same. I am so ashamed.

Ready to give up,

167 replies

Rapcom 2011-09-25 08:37:07 -0500 Report

I have been in your shoes minus the insensitive spouse. I developed sleep Apnea (which cause a weight gain, Diabetes, and other issues). I was told lose weight and friends and family all have their advice with no clue to my conditions. I told my doctor about my problem and he explained to me that stress is a diabetics worse enemy. When you stress trying to lose weight, you become counter productive by your own body. I was doing everything I could the doctor said to do with no success. I gained weight. My doctor suggested I do what is needed and right and ignore the weight. To my shock I went from 310 to 275. I have not been able to go below 275; but I feel better and do what I need to with the hope I will reach 230 (My ideal weight) I only get weighed by the doctor. I tossed my scale away. I eat what I know is healthy and cheat once in a blue moon. I walk when ever I can as far as I can. I have a damaged artery in my leg, so it is hard. I found this advice to be awesome. So stop stressing and do what you now you need to and it will happen for you. Good luck and god bless you and others struggling like wise.

MrsCDogg 2011-09-25 08:05:08 -0500 Report

The same thing has happened to me my friend. I did ok until I went on insulin. I've gained about 40 lbs since last October when I went on Lantus. It is very disheartening. All I can tell you is keep coming here to DC. There are a lot of caring people who are going through the same kinds of stuff you are. We are all in this together.
It really does not make any sense that the drugs that are used to treat diabetes cause weight gain, because as a diabetic the best thing we can do to help control it is to lose a few lbs. It's crazy!
Hang in there Sweet we are all on your side!!

Samsons Mom
Samsons Mom 2011-09-25 01:03:57 -0500 Report

I am so sorry you are feeling so depressed. You are obviously a beautiful woman going through some very deep waters. I'm grateful for your "three reasons" that you don't throw in the towel! It sounds like you need some help with your medication, diet, exercise and lots of counseling. There is no good reason that you should have gained 80 lbs just because of medication! There's something else going on. Has your thyroid been checked? Are you going to an endocrinologist? You definitely need to have someone follow you closely and not just tell you to lose weight! I bet that makes you feel like a million bucks, doesn't it! You have to have someone be your champion and big supporter! I'm new on this sight but I'm going to try to figure out how to be your friend. If you know how to do it, then you friend me. I'll support you, but if your doctor is just throwing medication at you and telling you to lose weight, then you need a new doctor! Are you on anything for depression? Bless you! Hang in there and lets get you going and getting on the road to health not on the road to despair!

twoww1976 2011-09-24 22:37:23 -0500 Report

i kinda have the same problem… my husband tries to be supportive but then he comes home with donuts and candy bars… or we go grocery shopping and he is throwing stuff in the cart he knows tempts me but we just have to do what we have to do for our selves…i have gained a lot of weight from being on actos..i have been off it for a week and have already lost 2 pounds. i am strickly on insulin now and i get so depressed because i feel like i failed at being a healthy human… but i just pray and hope for the best everyday. i will also pray for you now.. i hope u feel better hun.. God Bless You and your family

greatgrama 2011-09-24 20:02:35 -0500 Report

Oh those terrible drugs, they make you gain weight. My doctor gave me Metformin when I was first diagnosed 2 years ago. Well I'm terribly sensitive to drugs. So I always start by taking less of a dose to start to be safe. I quartered the pill which was not an easy task and took it. Oh my gosh I thought I was going to die. I wanted to call 911. I finally fell asleep sometime after midnight. Next morning I took that bottle of pills and through it in the trash. I looked up the side effects on the internet and Death was listed as one of them. Nooooooooooooo way was I going to stand for that. Then I discovered that coffee is a natural diabetes drug. It has nothing to do with caffeine it's something in the bean itself. So even though I'm not a coffee drinker I thought I'd try it. I figured that the Lord made the coffee bean and DEATH was not listed as a side effect. I drank a couple cups of de-caffeinated a day for the first month and ate a fresh foods diet and started walking. It worked and so far I'm still drug free. And I m not on the coffee anymore either. It may not work for everyone but I'm sure thankful that it worked for me.

onefunblonde57 2011-09-24 19:51:11 -0500 Report



Samsons Mom
Samsons Mom 2011-09-25 01:10:08 -0500 Report

She is so right! A mentor is perfect! Someone to really be supportive of you! Wonderful YOU!!! Don't let the diagnosis of diabetes rob you of life itself. Take your life back and look for a mentor. See about a Diabetes support group. Call a hospital and see if they have any there. You'd be surprised. Learn all you can and then once you get stronger you will be able to handle things better. We are here for you, too! Prayers for you!

mebetty 2011-09-24 16:56:15 -0500 Report

WOW!!! thank you for reaching out!!!! That is the first great thing you did. Huny one of the tricks I learned early on is to STOP EATING AFTER SIXpm. That evening meal will pack on weight so fast and unrelenting. if you are a working mom, that may be difficult because you probably don't have dinner prepared until almost seven. BUT YOU MUST FIND A WAY. Eat something light, like breakfast food and have another light snack before you go to bed. You can save what you cooked for dinner for lunch the next day — in smaller quantities. It is more important to eat SMALL quantities rather than to change your diet altogether. You will be more successful. It is not easy. I found myself drinking one or two glasses of water while I was cooking, so by the time the meal was done I wasn't as hungry and would just pick a little to satisfy my yearnings. I always make salad with dinner, so I will have a SMALL salad, and if there is steak, a SMALL piece. That late dinner will keep packing the pounds if that is part of your regime. My problem was also rice (being Puerto Rican). I had to change that to brown rice, which I don't like as much, so now I don't eat rice and beans as often. However, I will it white rice every now and then. I have lost 22 pounds in less than 4 months. YOU CAN DO IT.

valentine lady
valentine lady 2011-09-24 13:15:11 -0500 Report

Sweetrthnhuny: Depression is a disease all in it's own. You need a good therapist to help and get you on medication and help you think straight, before you do thrown in the towel and it's to late. I know 1st hand. This very thing happened to my best friend. I could not get her to a therapist and she got so low she over dosed on insulin and killed herself. I agree having diabetes is a drag, but for us it's a fact of life. Looking fantastic isn't everything, your mental health & your phyiscal health is what counts. The rest comes later. If you would like to talk more, contact me, or anyone in DC. Valentine Lady

Kim Parker
Kim Parker 2011-09-24 12:19:17 -0500 Report

Hey girl…I went through the same thing. The weight gain just SUCKS. I had one very *dumb* endocrinologist tell me that every time your sugar is over 200, you pee out half your calories. Really? So..guess what I did for several years. And girl, I looked good in those size 4 jeans. Of course I knew what I was doing to my body, but I didn't care…I felt ok at the time and got into size 4 jeans! But let me tell you what was going on in that size 4 body. Pure hell. My kidneys started to fail, I developed retinopathy in my eyes, I was developing panful neuropathy in my legs and was working on a bad, bad case of gastroparesis. These complicantions are real honey. I am only 42..have had type 1 for 35 years…and I can barely walk, have trouble seeing and had to have a kidney transplant last year. So…you can deal with the meds and the weight. You really can. I am now up to almost a size 12 becuase of the steroids i have to take, but you know what..I am ok with it now. I wouldn't have been back then, but now..I look at myself and think what a blessing God has given me because I still have my legs, I stilll have my eyes and I was blessed with my good friend giving me one of her kidneys last year. You want to live for your kids AND yourself. If you get to the point where I have been, you won't have a lot of time with your kids because you'll be in the hospital, at doctors weekly or even dialysis. It SUCKS. The depression is a common thing in diabetics. I had to get on Zoloft to help me out. You may want to talk to your doctor about that because it really does help. A lot. ANd it isn't a give up to say that you need help. It really isn't. DOn't give into the diabetes. Show IT who is boss. I know that is A LOT easier said than done, but you don't want to do it after the fact (like me). What about just walking around your home for a few minutes every day? If you have stairs, that is a good work out too. I hate exercise. But unfortunately, it is one of the necessary evils of diabetes. You can do it. If I can do it…anyone can do it. It takes time and a complete mind change. And I know how it is to watch your husband eat and do whatever he wants. Food and I go WAY back..but you can still enjoy eating good foods, but just in moderation. Or eat healthily during the week and have the weekends as your 'free' days. You have to ease yourself into the lifestyle. It doesn't happen overnight. Unfortunately. You'll get there. If you ever want to email me personally, my email is small.

It will be ok,

crosslady2010 2011-05-31 16:49:18 -0500 Report

Do not give up!!!!!! You have 156 replies!!!!!!! We love you!!!!! I take a med for my heart that has contributed to my weight gain. I know what you mean… I just want to say, " Are You serious !!!!!" Unfortunately, We have to have a long honest talk with ourselves and decide, " Am I gona live with this the best I can or am I gona give up!" I have a feeling, a strong feeling, You my friend ,are not a quitter!" The grave yards are full of people that gave up… My friend Melissa,34,sweet as could be died Feb.'09 and she suffered the last year of her life. Please, please ask God to help you deal with this! I hope you are a believer! As for family members, I just buy and cook my food separate! As for support, You just come to this site. I just joined here about a week ago… these are the most amazing people I have ever come across! You are a mom, I am sure you know kids say things with out thinking of the right way to say them. As for hubby, Do not expect him to change. Still love him…but… Let him continue the way he is… that is his choice… right? You concentrate on you ok :) Naomi

Samsons Mom
Samsons Mom 2011-09-25 01:20:47 -0500 Report

Amen! You concentrate on YOU and your kids. You love your husband and when he sees you love yourself enough to start to become more healthy inspite of your diabetes, he might just come along side you! He might just be feeling a little scared himself right now. Just concentrate on what you can for now! I'm a new member here, too. I cannot tell you how impressed I am with this site! I feel like it is going to be life-changing for me…and YOU!

Diabeticifumust 2010-10-01 09:40:42 -0500 Report

My sister you mimic my journey with Diabetes almost to the tee! Please do not give up on yourself - the depression kinda goes with the territory but the "battlefield is in the mind" you are what you say you are. My way of dealing with diabetes has been moments very similar to yours, wanting to give it all up (and I have - only to make matters worse) - This is our "thorn in the flesh" for lack of a better term, a day to day journey that requires diligence (what a way to develop some discipline, potentially what we lacked pre-type2) - Not to minimize what you are going through - just giving you some hope that managing your diabetes in possible! Peace!

Mama Dee
Mama Dee 2010-09-10 23:42:32 -0500 Report

Happy day Sweetrthnhuny,
I appreciate you sharing like you did. God said you have not because you asked not. Well you must have asked because you are here. God said knock & the door will be opened. Well God heard you knocking because you are here. I know you must have been seeking because you are here. God gives us what we need when we need it you are here. So now you have a family that will love you listen to you suggest things to & for you. Most of all we will stand on the wall in the name of Jesus for you & yours. He also turns over tables in our lives so that He can get our attention. One of the reasons is so we can check ourselves before we reck ourselves.

Grant it I wish your husband was more supportive, but for right now he is not. But this is not about him its about you. I also will be praying that you realize that God is in control it's not your fault that you have diabetes, but you are a diabetic. It is what it is so what are you going to do about it ? As far as your children just let them know that you don't know if they are going to be diabetics but what you do know is that you will do all that's in your power to make sure that they don't become diabetics. Then that's your time to get it started, w/the way you cook (they need to eat like you need to eat). I read that your husband will not change his eating habits. Ok he is grown, the children are not. If they say they don't want to eat it (which they should not have that choice). Then bring their question back to them do you want to be a diabetic ?

Pray for your family out loud let them hear you. Also pray to God out loud concerning taking control of your life w/His guidance. Watch how God use you concerning your husband your children w/& thru other family & friends. Remember God has a plan for you thus said the Lord for your welfare & not for evil & w/a hope. You are highly favored in the name of Jesus. Now it's time you get ready & start your journey.

Now you have to know this the devil will come in your face through food loved ones co-workers & many other ways. My pray for you is that when this start to happen (& it will) call out Jesus name & keep going. God has control of the devil where God will test His people to see how our faith really is. The devil will steady be tempting you. Be strong be safe stay blessed. Keep your face in the master face. I will be waiting patiently on your praise report about your better eating habits about your weight lost your bonding w/your family. Most of all your relationship w/& thru Christ Jesus, these things will not happen over night but they will happen if you take control of te diabetes & not let it take control of you. Wake up everyday saying you are going to live till you die not that you wish you would die today.

Working 4 Jesus, & Loving it.
Mama Dee

Kaiyle 2010-08-22 23:54:44 -0500 Report

My prayer is that your husband will become that support you so deserve and long to have from him. Meanwhile, God has open a door of genuine family support right here at DC. I don't know how you came to find this site, but I don't believe that it was just by chance. I believe God led you to this site so you could witness that you are not as alone as you may feel. You will fight!!! You will survive this for the sake of your children, for the sake of your future, and for the sake of countless people that will hear from your lips that there is hope. So lift up your beautiful head and keep the fight going against this disease, and don't ever submit to it!!!!

caroljo 2010-08-21 14:48:03 -0500 Report

Dear Sweeterthanhoney,
Though you may be and Lord knows i can relate, it has occured to me that indeed my diabetes is my problem and it is up to me alone to manage it. I would love it to be an easy road and as long as I stay focused it is but get off the road and damn if there isnt a bump or a hole or a darned critter in the way. Todayi will do better than yesterday and today my best is good enough.

susiemaeemily 2010-07-22 20:12:22 -0500 Report

Hi there
I have been away from this site for a long time. However, I do know exactly how you feel. My husband says he understands but makes large pictures of lemonade, brings in ice-cream and hates healthy meals. I am trying to hang in there, but the depression does not help. Now that I have vented, I will say to you that make an effort to lose the weight, the reward might be less medication. Most important do not beat yourself up. You will get better.

Sweetrthnhuny 2010-09-10 17:33:14 -0500 Report

Thanks. Since I have not been on here in a while I guess I can make an update. I'm not taking way more insulin. I have bursitis and arthrits in my shoulder. I also found out that I have heel spurs in both feet and some more stuff that I can't spell ot pronounce.LOL But I do believe that things are getting better for me despite the new findings. I'm going to try and concentrate more on my nutrition as I have alot of pain when walking.

ifnotforme 2010-07-22 10:55:44 -0500 Report

I have been diabetic since 1998 sweetie, so I can feel your pain. It is an ongoing struggle and without the support, it can be downright depressing! I am still on the pills and am fighting hard not to do the insulin (shots). Both my parents were diabetic as well as both sets of my it was fated that I would get it and was really angry when I did. However, I know I am not alone in this and that a lot of people are in the same situation I am in. As far as being ashamed of yourself, don't be. Whether you are skinny or not, you are still the daughter of the most High King and that is God and HE made no mistakes when HE created you. Lose the weight for your health and nothing else. It is going to be an ongoing battle, but NEVER give up! Look to HIM who can and will have you in his loving arms. Stay blessed and keep your head held high. I too can stand to lose 80 lbs, however I know I am still beautiful.

Sweetrthnhuny 2010-09-10 17:35:25 -0500 Report

Thanks. At this point I am not worried about the weight as much. I came to realize that skinny or not I'm me!! If I don't love myself who will??

daniel0365 2010-07-21 11:33:47 -0500 Report

Don't give up just yet. Honey, I, too have pounds and pounds to lose. I feel tired of trying at times but gotta get up and try again.

lasonyac 2010-07-19 22:43:20 -0500 Report

Hi well I have had diabeties for 12 years now, and in 2004 I got tired of taking my medicine so i stopped taking it. I got sick thirsty all the time i kept a yeast infection and had very severe cramps in my legs. Well I ended up losing about 100 llbs not a goodway to loose it but it came off. don't be depressed because someone else is losing a toe or a foot keep yur head up . I will be support for you

Auntie D
Auntie D 2010-07-19 17:54:34 -0500 Report

Hi Sweetrthnhuny,
Boy do I know how you're feeling!!!! I was originally diagnosed with diabetes in 1987 and I've been thru what you're going thru several times. I refuse to go on insulin! About a year ago my A1C came in at 9.2. I was scared & my doctor said "Straight to insulin for you young lady." (By the way, he's literally young enough to be my son — that's how you'll know when you're getting old.) But, I have other health problems that AT BEST make me forgetful. So I refuse to go on insulin, He's worked with me, but one of the "assistants" he put me on, Actos, is - I now know - famous or infumous, rather, for making you gain weight. I've never been a skinny girl in my life. But in May I tipped doc's scale at 273. After that visit I was severely depressed. Being a chronic depressive, this wasn't good. But I went home and — on my own, which I DO NOT recommend — went off all my meds. I stayed off for one week. AGAIN, I DO NOT RECOMMEND ANYONE DO THIS!!!!!!!!! Just letting you know what I did. I began to add back meds one or two at a time. Knowing my diabetic meds to be most important I started with them. All of them divided into two times a day so I don't have a hand full every time. Went back to the doctor in late June and I was down to 253!!!!. Now, after being back on all these meds for almost a month I'm back to 255. Nope, wrong way!!!! Yesterday an entry on one of the DC discussion pages let me know about Actos. Which, by the way the dr has never advised me could cause me to gain weight! Needing not to go up again, I immediately went to my med organizer and removed the Actos. I will not be taking that anymore. Doc will just have to come up with something else to replace it. Or, just maybe, the weight loss will do the job for us!!!!!!!??! Anyway, I'll tell him when I see him next month, but I'm going to continue seeking out meds that make my body retain weight and getting rid of them too. There are too many meds out there to do this to myself.
As for the kids, I've some experience in that direction. And, yes, it hurts like hell to think you may be responsivle for some sort of hurt/harm in their future. But, the truth is that they are at risk. But, we now know a lot more about diabetes than anyone did in previous generations. Learn all you can about helping them avoid diabetes and then make them aware. Not only will this help them now & in the future, it well may turn out to be one of the best bonding devices you will ever firnd.
Remember, diabetes is a disease & you didn't ask for it. You may have had something to do with getting it by eating wrong in the past, but you are not responsible for the foibles of the disease!!! Stop beating yourself up. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off & beat the dickens out of the problem. (I know, not that simple, but I also know that anyone with your will and motivation can do it.) It's not about "looking better" so much as about "being better." Your kids and all your family will see you working on the solution — rather than the problem — and will be proud & encouraged by you!!
Well, hope you will feel better about lots & SOON.
Life's good,
Auntie D

nurseauntnancy 2010-07-21 08:22:06 -0500 Report

that is great advise! About knowing more abouty the disease, my paternal grandmother died from a bed sore caused by this disease.My mother had cancer also. she stopped eating and came off all her medication, because it was not needed any more.

Mama Dee
Mama Dee 2010-07-19 15:39:57 -0500 Report

Happy day Sweeter than honey,
This is the day that the Lord has made let's rejoice & be glad in it. My husband is the diabetic in our home. I changed my diet to support him also to help myself I have high blood pressure. Now your husband may not want to change his way of eating but don't give up on him nor yourself. Change the way you cook your food for you & your children let them know that they will not have to be a diabetic if they start eating correctly now. As Woodyme said eat half of the amount you & your children would normally eat. Let them know that it's a mind over matter thing, & that God has given them the mind to choose rather are not to be a healthy are not.
God has a plan for you for your good & not for evil. Let Him have control of your life & whatever you do, do not stop praying for your husband don't give up don't let the devil in your home. Once he is there it will be hard to get him out. Let your family hear you pray for them & the desires of your heart concerning your diabetes. You don't have to cook your food bland if you do you nor your children will enjoy it. Check around on seasoning that excites your taste buds (w/less salt) then go for it. I will be standing on the wall for you & your family concerning these these things. DON'T GIVE UP REACH UP TO GOD.
Remember that God is not looking @ your situation you are in He is there w/you. He is looking 2 how you react to the situation. Count your blessings one by one then you will slowly come out of your depression. You want have time to thank about being depressed because you will be too busy smiling about how God is steady blessing you from the time you wake up till the time you go to bed.

Working 4 Jesus, & Loving it,
P.S. God don't make mistakes nor does He make junk, you are beautiful & wonderfully made in the name of Jesus.
Mama Dee

Woodyme 2010-07-18 00:07:08 -0500 Report

Hi Sweetrthhuny,

Being diabetic is always a challenge!!!! You are probably very well aware of that. When I was diagnosed as being diabetic I was so thirsty all the time that I always had a jug of water with me … my weight just melted off … it was 80 lbs. Now ten yrs later and now on insulin for the past 6 or 7 yrs … I have gained that eighty lbs back … yuck, but knowing how bad that weight is for me and struggling to get it off … and yes, it does seem impossible … I have gone back to the basics and drink tons of water again! The only change in my diet I have really done is instead of eating 2 pieces of chicken, I eat one and eat double the vegetables. So basically cut everything in half. I also started taking vitamin D … if you read information about it … it changes the way your body processes your food for some reason. Anyway, with those few changes am down 17 lbs in the past couples months.

High cholesterol and depression run hand and hand with being diabetic. So if you are feeling so depressed, it might be time to get on some kind of antidepressant. If your thinking more positive, your going to be feeling more positive and will to keep up with the work you need to do just because you are diabetic.

As far as your husband not being so supportive, it not easy for either of you, no doubt. He sees you like normal, you have no signs of a "disease". You don't look sick, you don't feel sick … so, you probably are not … you and I know that is not true. It would be nicer if he was a little more supportive, but that may not happen. You have a disease … period. What you do now is not blame yourself, you just work for yourself to make yourself as healthy as possible, that is what you show your kids!!!! Then even if it happens to them they have an understanding and know they will be alright they just need to take care of themselves.

Hang in there … your going to be ok and so am I. And as you can see there are a lot us out here fighting this battle … and also care about the others that have to deal with the same issues.

NO giving up … take care of yourself and hope you are feeling better soon!


lordwilliams 2010-07-17 20:19:31 -0500 Report

Hi Ms. Sweeter-than-honey! -Girl you have a lot of support here! -And what's so nice about it is, its real. -I understand the anniversary thang. I just completed a log book which contains a one year of info. -For about 5 hours or so I felt like, blah. -Then I got angry, threw the book in a draw, pulled out a new one. I cursed the one book out, and told the new one, "don't start no mess, because I can do you in." You might be a little depress at times, but you're a fighter, I can read that in your responses, and you're very pretty!

Diabetes affect everyone differently, so Manage It according to your body needs and responses. -Being active doesn't mean going to the gym for two hours. You can stay at home play your favorite tunes and shake your groove thang, and having more sex will get greater results than any gym. Do what's natural for you. We all have to watch what we eat, and the side effect medication makes life even harder, but again find out what works for you. -I fight with my doctor in terms of what I should take and don't want to take. Research all medication, and if there are other ways of getting around it, try it. If drinking 2 gallons of garlic water, and eating curry chicken everyday will keep your BP down, then you might smell a little, but you off of those meds and your heart is pumping with no stress.

I know I sound a little off beat, but I'm keeping it real with you. Diabetes is not easy to handle, we diabetics have to work, and manage this GIFT, everyday, and between each meter reading. It seems overwhelming, but God only gave diabetes to fighters. If you like you can reach me on Facebook: Author Lord'Williams. -Twitter: lordwilliams, and if you ever need to hear a voice call me, my number is on facebook.

Many blessings to you and yours, may Peace be with you.


laurieb0311 2010-07-17 13:30:23 -0500 Report

I just got diagnosed with type 2 in March. Yea right before my birthday and after I put a big girl scout cookie order in. I was almost excited at first because I knew it was coming and I new I needed to drop weight anyway. I did so good my first month then I got into sugar free jellow then low fat whipped cream then that wasnt enough so I went to cake mixes and frosting. I would bake a cake and eat a piece every night after dinner. I am a single woman living on 1 income and its just damn expensive to eat right ok thats an excuse, who am I fooling. I know what I need to do and I need to do it soon. I'm not on insulin, YET, but I see it coming if I dont make drastic changes and fast. So Sweetrtnhuny I feel your pain, its not the same exact pain but its pain.

wildaj 2010-07-15 18:33:39 -0500 Report

I have just joined this site and have been reading some of your comments about your depression and your diabetes. I am 48 years old and I have had diabetes for 40 years. I was 8 years old when I was diagnosed. Your sadness with this illness has brought back a lot of memories about my childhood and having to deal with it since I was practically a baby. In 1970 when I was diagnosed I did not know anyone my age who had it because at that time diabetes was not nearly as wide spread as it is now. I'm not sure why this is, but it is.

I had to watch other children eating sweets along with a lot of other stuff I wasn't suppose to eat to much of. Though I had relatives who had diabetes all of them were adults including my diabetic mother whose guilt I found out later in my life was tremendous because she felt it was inherited and it was her fault I had it. When I attended school I would wear clothing that would hide the sites where I gave my injections causing me to have lumpy looking arms and legs. Trying to keep an 8 year old child eating properly was, indeed, a daunting task for my mother. I wished so bad that I could just be normal like all of the other kids. The doctors would always say you can live a normal life just like everybody else which of course was a really big lie. How is it normal for anyone to have to stick themselves with a needle, sometimes up to 3 times a day, normal.

It bothered my mother so that when I got to a certain age and was able to address my feelings and express them the way that I really wanted to I finally told her. Yes, I have diabetes but I am so glad to be here. I am so that that I was born. Truthfully, I almost died when I was 8 years old. When I got older my mother told me on that evening when she had to carry me into the emergency room the doctor came and told her after they had tested my blood that I should be dead. That was when I was 8 years old. Today I am 48 years old and I have a beautiful 27 year old son who does not have diabetes.

Is it still tough? Heck Yeah! Do my medications for diabetes still get to me? For sure. But be encouraged, Sweetrthnhuny. Ask your children which would they rather have a mommy with diabetes, who is a little heavier than she used to be, but one that they can kiss all of the time and hug? or a mommy who has died of complications of her diabetes? Some of the diabetic medications can reek havoc on your system but just keep working with your doctor so that you will feel your getting it under some kind of control. Some meds can cause weight gain but not all of them. Talk to your doctor about the weight gain and if that doctor does not listen to your concerns it's time for another doctor. You've got to have a doctor who will listen to you because diabetes is not just physical it is also emotional, psychological, and something you have to live with everyday all day. A good support system is crucial with this complicated disruption in your body. Keep going until you've found a proper support system. That is the one thing that can make all the difference in the world and if anyone should know it is this diabetic who has made it through 40 years of having diabetes.

MAYS 2010-07-15 18:44:50 -0500 Report

Welcome to Diabetic Connect !
You are now a part of one of the greatest diabetes support groups there is, great members, information, videos, product reviews, discussions and most of all, support, support, support !


So Real
So Real 2010-07-14 00:03:16 -0500 Report

I just joined this site tonight because I was feeling some of the same things you are experiencing. I have had type 2 diabetes since 2003. Initially I was able to control it with diet and exercise. Within the year of my diagnosis, I was prescribed pills that drove my levels down so low that I thought I was going through menopause! My meds were changed to Metformin and all was well until last year when I lost my job. I have been so depressed that I haven't felt like exercising and I hardly eat for a couple of days and then I binge on all the wrong stuff. I love being home with my children but I am so bored during the day when I am home alone. I feel like such a hypocrite because my son is overweight and I am constantly on him about portion control and exercising. He is only 11 but he has lost 9 pounds since he has been out of school for the summer. My daughter is 9, very thin and has a very healthy appetite. She loves being active and she is very healthy. Reminds me of myself when I was her age. I have been off my meds since I lost my job in September last year. Just can't afford them. I have high cholesterol too and I am supposed to take Vytorin for that. I can't give up because my children and my husband need me and I want to be there for them and I want my life back for myself. I'm struggling to pull myself out of this rut but I guess I let myself sink too deep to get myself out this time. I still pray and I have faith that stumbling into this site tonight might be a turning point for me. A lot of things can be said about me but quitter won't be one of them.

So Real

Sweetrthnhuny 2010-07-14 01:07:50 -0500 Report

Wow it sounds like you have a lot of stress. Just like me. You might want to check walmart for your meds I think metformin is only 4.00 there depending on the dose. And I take simvistatin (zocor) for my cholesterol. When I didn't have insurance I took the list of 4.00 drugs to the dr with me. Target has something simular. I hope this will help in some way. You might also check the yellow pages for free clinics in your area for your rx. God bless.
Ps this a great place with people who care.

So Real
So Real 2010-07-14 10:04:43 -0500 Report

Thank you. I get my meds from Walmart and you are right about the $4 for Metformin, but my Vytorin is $30 because there is no generic. I can't afford the office visits and the periodic lab tests my doctor requires before she will continue writing my prescriptions. That's why I'm off my meds. I can't afford the costs of being treated for my medical issues so I have to do the best I can to get as healthy as I can without medication. Crazy isn't it? I'm having a better day today and I really appreciate your words of encouragement. May God continue to bless you and keep you too!

kdroberts 2010-07-14 10:27:29 -0500 Report

If you really need something for cholesterol you may be able to work a generic med from your Vytorin. Vytorin is a combo pill of Zetia and Zocor, Zetia is still under patent but Zocor isn't and has a generic version available called simvastatin. If you are able to get to any doctor you could ask them about trying just the generic part of the drug to get it cheaper.

MAYS 2010-07-14 01:34:22 -0500 Report

Welcome to Diabetic Connect !

We shall call you friend, family, lifesaver and motivator, but never a quitter, we do not allow it, and neither will you !
You have come across the most supportive group and family that you can ever imagine … serious, humorous, scholarly, loving and more, it's all here and then some !

You didn't join a site, you joined a family, a family of love and support !


So Real
So Real 2010-07-14 09:51:23 -0500 Report

Thank you. I have been reading some of the old posts and you are right! This is just like a family! I talk to my husband and my sister but sometimes I feel like I whine too much to them and it's great to have people who "really know" what it's like.

xc 2010-07-12 09:11:51 -0500 Report

I know how you feel. I feel like the odd girl out, I am actually overcoming diabetic bulimia. I got down to my lowest weight but I was still not satisfied and I almost died. I have been a competitive runner since high school and never had a weight issue but i was so depressed that i felt like i did. Not taking your insulin is not the way to go, because you will not be able to do the things you want to do. You will be in and out of hospitals and face major complications, I told myself how can be happy if i live such a negative life. I am also learning that i need to control mi diabetes and not let it control me. It sucks, i know because i got diabetes out of no where, Aad I always ask God, why me. STAY STRONG.

0tina0 2010-07-19 12:32:47 -0500 Report

O sweety… I really hope you don't mind an old lady replying to your post. I had the best life… 3 boys and 6 grandsons, an awesome husband and then wham…cancer. Many tears later and two surgeries…I still have the same good life just with a few added complications. Never ask God 'why me' he will not give you more than you can take…instead I always say 'why not me' I am no better or worse than any one else…Good luck to both of you and Lots of love…Tina

monnipooh 2010-07-12 08:45:50 -0500 Report

I was diagnosed as a Type 2 diabetic in 1997. I was in my early 20's. The Dr I had at the time had me controling it by diet and exercise which did not work for me. Two years later I was put on metformin and from there my sugar still was out of control. I was hanging with some friends one day and felt very weird almost like I was floating but knew my feet were on the ground and started sweating and felt like I was gonna pass out. I was taken to the hospital and my sugar was almost 600. The Dr there told me that I was a very lucky person to be sitting there right now. They brought my sugar down over several hours and had to follow up with my Dr. and then start seeing and Endocrinoligist. I was put on few diffrent meds through out the years and nothing is working so far. I still have very high sugar last week my sugar was 400's and high 300;s and Im not even eatting sweets or anything high in sugar. So I understand you fully when you say it is very frustrating and depressing. I have to give my self shots of insulin sometime up to 5 times a day and I hate it. Some times I get so depressed I start crying and ask why me? What did I do. Though I would NEVER wish this on anyone.
I also have the numbness and tingling in the feet and legs to go with it. And lately I have pain in my legs non stop. My last A1c was 10.4 so my dr is really playing with my dosages now. And as far as the gaining weigt with insulin it does stink. I already strugle with my weight and add this to it. But Im hoping that now that I have this website it will help cope a little easier with it. I have support but some of them dont understand it.

Sweetrthnhuny 2010-07-14 01:14:30 -0500 Report

That's so scary. I'm glad you are here. I have been having really bad tingling and burn in my legs right now. I was in the hospital today and they told me that my bs was 291 and sent me for an xray. Thank God I have no blood clots. Then today they ordered a nerve test. I'm so scared.

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2010-07-14 01:22:59 -0500 Report

Sorry you are having more to deal with. Glad to hear you don't have blood clots. Hope you can get the nerve test done soon. Waiting can be so hard.

Sweetrthnhuny 2010-07-14 01:29:33 -0500 Report

I know that is great news. I'm so scared to do the test I went with a friend when she did it and it was painful. Its just to find out if I have nueropathy which I'm already taking meds for. Crazy. I might not go and hope the meds start to work.

snowwhitekappa 2010-07-14 19:18:51 -0500 Report

I am on the same boat with you I was also diagnosed in 1995 at 21 and was put on one form of medication or diet until I was placed on insulin and was told to take 7 shots a day. 1 with each meal or snack about 4-5 a day and 2 long lasting insulin shots morning and night. (alot huh) lol. well I gave up and could not do it anymore. which brought on the numbness ans tingling in the legs blurry vision and a host of complications. In January 2010 I researched an insluin pump. My doctor did not want to give it to me because of my age (36) He said i was to young but i insisted. my A1c was 14.5 at that time average 3 month sugar of 500+. After being trained correctly my A1c was at 10.2 in March and in July 6.3 It is great and if you are taking alot of insulin shots a day you might want to check into it it has been a life saver for me contact me if you have any questions i just wish i would have done this years ago and maybe i would not have all the extra problems i have now

snowwhitekappa 2010-07-14 19:19:04 -0500 Report

I am on the same boat with you I was also diagnosed in 1995 at 21 and was put on one form of medication or diet until I was placed on insulin and was told to take 7 shots a day. 1 with each meal or snack about 4-5 a day and 2 long lasting insulin shots morning and night. (alot huh) lol. well I gave up and could not do it anymore. which brought on the numbness ans tingling in the legs blurry vision and a host of complications. In January 2010 I researched an insluin pump. My doctor did not want to give it to me because of my age (36) He said i was to young but i insisted. my A1c was 14.5 at that time average 3 month sugar of 500+. After being trained correctly my A1c was at 10.2 in March and in July 6.3 It is great and if you are taking alot of insulin shots a day you might want to check into it it has been a life saver for me contact me if you have any questions i just wish i would have done this years ago and maybe i would not have all the extra problems i have now

steveftw 2010-07-11 14:37:53 -0500 Report

Boy, I know exactly how you feel - and I'll take your sharing as an opportunity to express my history and feelings:

I'm 55 years old, and my 50th birthday present was to start injecting insulin (happy birthday, right?) after 7 years on oral meds.

Both my parents died this last year; both were insulin dependent, with other medical issues as well. My grand-daughter is 5 now; she was born on the same day my younger brother was buried from diabetes (he really just shot as much insulin as he "needed" for what he consumed; no real attempt at finding a resolution other than an early out).

I gained 60 lbs the first year I was injecting insulin; no one that was providing medical support for me really seemed to care or have any answers. Then over the last few years, I've gained another 20, so that 80 lb statement really hits me where I live.

I can literally feel my body failing, and I have come to (another) committment to do something about it.

I take the following:

1. Synthetic thyroid, 40 milligrams (not micrograms)/day
2. 10 mg Altace
3. 45 mg Actos
4. 20 mg Vytorin
5. 80 -90 units of lantus
6. 80-120 units of humalog.

And that's when my diet is under control. When I eat the way I "want" to eat; my lantus is up around 150 units, and it's not possible for me to take enough humalog to keep the sugars under 150.

The "realization" I've come to is that for me to continue living for another couple of decades, I have to change what I'm doing. For all my life, food has been "fun" (I've found myself saying that "this meal" was a lot of fun for $xxx); now that I've completely lost the "governor" of having a functioning pancreas, I must concentrate on the fuel aspect of food, not the fun.

What works - keeps the blood sugars and energy level constant - is to consume 300 calories every 3 hours. But for there to be enough VOLUME to fill me up, that 300 calories must be hi fiber sources. Typical meals are:

1. 300 calorie smoothies (egg or milk/banana/other fruit)
2. "Light" yoghurt (150 cal) and non-wheat cereal
3. Meat & veggies (100 cal protein; 100 cal fat; 100 cal veggies) (salad or stir fry)

It sucks - I miss eating for enjoyment. But I'm open to hearing other ways to continue breathing.

Hang in their, and I'm open to feedback

Sweetrthnhuny 2010-07-11 17:53:02 -0500 Report

Wow that's a lot of meds. I was taking Actos and in two months gained 20 lbs!! I refused to continue taking it. I am on Latus 100U at bedtime and novolog 26U 3 times a day plus sliding scale. And also metformin. Now that I have been taking the insulin faithfully I am under 200. Thanks for the tips on eating. It helps when there are examples. Thanks so much for your story. Have you considered the pump??

steveftw 2010-07-12 06:04:24 -0500 Report

It's all about the cash flow. Insurance won't cover the pump (but they'll cover the meds - so wrong). I'm a commercial GC, and needless to say, the last couple of years haven't been terribly "fun" on the work front.

As income becomes available, I'm really interested in the pump. I wish the FDA would allow the development of an artificial pancreas; there is nothing technically stopping it. I assume what's stopping it is that the drug industry would sell less; there is no advantage to the industry to "cure" this disease with an artificial organ.

Boy, that sounds like a whine; don't really mean to whine.

Kayodiabetes 2010-07-16 07:54:47 -0500 Report

I was just diagnosed. Just manage …shall we dwell. Make positive comments about how you feel and you will feel better. I am at peace today and have a reason to keep going. God will supply the strength and encouragement to keep going. Excercise is good. I am going to eat yogurt and continue staying with light excercise until I graduate to more excercise and get some energy. So many people have this disease and manage. So can you. Do not be depressed, think how beautiful you are and how lucky you are to be alive.

Benjamins_Wife 2010-07-10 20:08:50 -0500 Report

I have definitely not been diabetic as long as you, but I feel some of your pains. I only found out I was diabetic about 2 weeks or so ago. I have always known something was wrong with me, but the doctors never found it in the testing, or I was just shy of the 6.5% that I was told was the deciding factor.

I have not made it even a month yet and I cry at the grocery store, I cry at dinner, and I cry when I know I ate something that I should not have.

One thing I can say… Children are excited to help their parents most of the time, SO when you go grocery shopping… make it a game for them… finding the lowest sugars or carbs etc…

I am fortunate enough to have a husband who is sympathetic… and worried… I am not sure it will last… butI hope it does. I hide from the world right now because I know I am not strong enough to just CUT MYSELF OFF from all the things I should not have!

I hope things get better for you… !!

KBWade 2010-07-10 18:46:18 -0500 Report

Don't give up, don't quit. You gave four excellent reason to keep going. First, check with your Doctor and verify that extra eating is a side effect of your medicines. I would tend to think not. So I assume you are just like me. Love food and feel punished that you no longer can eat anything you want. That statement is not entirely true. Yes you must watch what you eat. Learn about Carb counting. Learn what your daily intake for carbs should be per day / per meal. Stick as close as you can to this it does help the numbers come down. As far as the weight gain, fight back via excercise. Include your children. Let them take mommie for a walk, or a short run if you jog. Start out short distances. The longer distances you go will build your motivation to continue. Results will show up in lower glucose numbers. This is a good bonding moment with your kids as well. If you have more energy do not hesitate to join a gym. As far as that husband is concern, he is most likely adding to that waistline as we speak. Ask him to walk with you sometimes. It certainly will not hurt. WILL Power. We live in a world of sweets, you can't eat them all. You can eat some if you make trade offs. That's the way that works. NO NO NO not sweets or trading off everyday, but after a week of 3 -4 solid walks, celebrate with a small treat, but just remember you are a diabetc and you are on a plan to live a long and healthy life. So do as I do, ignore the spouse when they get that big serving of sweet dessert. Hang in there and look at those beautiful children. That is why you are working so hard to prolong your life. Diabeties is a lot of work. I watched my father die from it. I am determined not to go that way. As far as the kids go, they should eat the same foods you eat and watch those portions. That is the key. There are no guarantees, but you can get them in to a good habit of watching the amount of sweets they do eat. Hope this helped. Sorry this was so long but, I don't know you, but I still do not want you to give up. It is not that hard, and you can do this by simply staying healthy. You probably cook to good!

Well I suppose I should read all the post before making a comment. I still say you have 3 excellent reasons to NOT Give up. As you can see, many of us out here who do not know you are encouraging you to move forward. As someone mentioned, when it rains it pours. Well it does, but you know what, the rain eventually stops. Until it does just get a bigger umbrella. And yes, you should maybe pray a little. It certainly can not make matters worst. You take care of you. Don't just throw the cliches to the side, if you say it, you will start to belive it. And that is the whole point. Confidence in yourself to get it done!

Sweetrthnhuny 2010-07-10 22:02:28 -0500 Report

Wow… First off I was never over weight until I began taking diabetes medication. When I got diagnosed with diabetes I weighed 135. It is insulting for you to say that you doubt it is from the meds. And I think everyone is told that when they start insulin to expect to gain weight. This was just hurtful I will leave it at that.

Jeannie Holmes
Jeannie Holmes 2010-07-11 11:45:52 -0500 Report

I gained weight from the meds too. In fact I am having a hard time losing any weight.

Sweetrthnhuny 2010-07-11 17:54:44 -0500 Report

Yeah it's easy to put on but so hard to take off. I think that I may start loosing weight soon cause my car has broken down and I don't have the money to fix it. So I'm walking more.

KBWade 2010-07-12 09:19:59 -0500 Report

I suppose I am just one of those rare persons who can not gain weight no matter what I eat. I've been that way all my life. I have been a Diabetic sine 1998. I am 5'5" and never have been much over 150 lbs. I've taken Actos and Metformin, both without weight gain, go figure. Excuse me for my very poor and unknowledgeable assumptions. This is why I am out here to gain more knowledge. Not to insult or hurt peoples feelings. I appologize again!

Oyorra 2010-07-11 18:39:58 -0500 Report

I feel ya, I was on Actos for awhile, and I gained 25 lbs on it. My doctor mentioned that Actos makes you tired, so of course, I was going to naturally gain weight. I take Lantus and that also had me up and down in weight. I understand how you feel. Is it possible for you doctor to take you off of Actos? Once I started exercising on a regular basis, my numbers starting getting better, so my doctor took me off it, and the weight came off even more. I know it's different for everyone, but I know that the only real way for me to lose the weight, was to exercise. Not easy, but once I got into a groove, it helped so much. Hope this helps! I gotta say, this site has been absolutely helpful, and if you need motivation, we are all here for ya!

busboy1200 2010-07-11 21:45:33 -0500 Report

I too gained weight when I started on diabetes meds especially metformin so it's not just you.Everyone also told me the meds don't make you gain weight but after doing some research i found out it is a common side effect. As for insulin I gained weight after starting on it in September. The thing that worked for me the best was to see a Diabetes Educator who is teamed up with a nutritionist. She put me on 60 carbs breakfast,lunch and dinner and 15-30 before bed. I lost a 1/2 pound a day without any exercise. And no counting calories. I know it seems hard to do but the nutritionist will explain everything to you and I guarantee you will not be hungry or even eat that different of foods you already eat. There are so many myths out there this is the only way to get to the truth. I also have been told some hurtful things like (Don't eat and you won't have to take any meds ) like it's a choice to eat or not. Hang in there and if there is anything I can do let me know. And yes i too get depressed and angry sometimes but trust me when you get all your nutrition and medical in order everything in your life will again fall into place.
Take care Scott

KBWade 2010-07-12 09:08:11 -0500 Report

Please accept my appologies. As you can see I have a lot to learn about interactions on this site. i did not mean to upset you. But this is a good response, you still have quite a bit of fight in you. Use that as motivation to move forward. I am sorry and stand corrected!