How do, or did you, handle depression ?

MAYS
By MAYS Latest Reply 2010-06-30 20:42:05 -0500
Started 2010-06-25 15:42:16 -0500

There are no guarantees in life, (death and taxes excluded), only promises coupled with hope.

Life is repetitious, and so are the many trials and tribulations associated with it.
Although your problem may seem unique, it isn't.

Someone, some where at some point in time has been through (or) is going through something similar.

Your words of how you deal or dealt with your issue(s) may help someone else in dealing with theirs.

So, how do, (or did) you handle it ?

~Mays~


28 replies

Katsarecool
Katsarecool 2010-06-30 11:44:57 -0500 Report

Like many here I have had issues with depression most of my life going back to early childhood. Growing up as the oldest of six kids, in a military family with alcoholic parents who pushed off parenting of the younger kids onto me. I think the depression was a result of not being allowed to be a child and not having any power over our dysfunctional home.

Went to therapy for a few years off and on which was very hepful. And learned ways to help myself by:

*Helping others
*Delving into my life long love of art
*Forging strong bonds with family and friends
*And last but not least; hanging around kids esp under the age of six. They are awesome and it is hard to feel depressed while doing this. I love to have "serious" discussions with them like who is smarter Bud Light Year or Shrek.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is what opened my mind to learning different ways to respond to life's all too often difficult situations. Learning how to act rather than re-act.

I am beginning to look at my recent diagnosis of type 2 as a second chance at life; the changes that I need to make are healthy choices and should have been doing it all along.

Hope everyone finds some happiness and peace in their lives.

MAYS
MAYS 2010-06-30 20:42:05 -0500 Report

True happiness comes from within first.
It's there, it just needs to be recognized for what it is, silent but powerful, present but hidden, an ever present comforter.

View diabetes as a chance to take control of your life and your health, the auto-pilot is off, but you are not flying solo, we (Diabetic Connect) are here with and for you, as you are and will be for us.

Never give up !

~Mays~

MsReddlocks
MsReddlocks 2010-06-26 16:37:11 -0500 Report

Hi I am type two I am depressed and in denile about my diabetes..I have three children20,18,and 14. I am going thru a divorce my 18 year old daughter is dating a 28 year old man…My 20 year old son wants to kill him.My 14 year old daughter just don't care…My husband is fighting this divorce when he left 2 years ago for his mistress. I am at the end of my rope feel like letting go..I know to pray but sometimes praying is not enough.. I am anger that diabetes chose me

MAYS
MAYS 2010-06-26 17:31:52 -0500 Report

Depression can destroy you if you allow it to.

Some things in life must be allowed to take their course, any interference will not prevent it, but rather force it to take another course of action which may be worse.
There are consequences, (good or bad), for every action or reaction in life.

We neither choose to be, or are chosen to be diabetics, it's out of our control deep within our genes, unwanted gifts courtesy of our parents and other ancestors, but YOU control both YOUR sanity and YOUR happiness.

Prayer, meditation and such can bring some sort of comfort but not make that which causes or feeds depression go away, professional and \ or legal help may be necessary to accomplish this.
Most importantly you must understand the effects of stress on your body, diabetic or not, as a diabetic your blood glucose levels will rise as your body initializes it's stress fighting measures which, (coupled with diabetes), will make matters worse, (healthwise) !

The link below may be of some interest to you:

http://www.diabeticconnect.com/news-articles/...

Depression destroys,
Let it go, and Let it be.

~Mays~

farmmom
farmmom 2010-06-26 18:07:01 -0500 Report

Hi MrReddlocks! I am so there with you. I have three children, 10, 11 and 15. I asked my husband to leave after he broke a few doors and tried to punch my son a few times. I called CPS and they said I made it up. He's in corrections and we live in a city, were women are second class citizens. (oh joy). His current girlfriend can't get married soon enough and we aren't divorced yet. They want unsuperivsed visitation and shes a convicted felon for child abuse.

Hubby refuses to talk to me anymore, and the girlfriend plays he like a concert violinist, she tells me they are buying things for the kids and at the last moment tell me they won't buy them because they say I offended them.

I'm a full time student in my senior year working on my BSHA, and hubby and his girlfriend try and upset me, so that I don't do my schoolwork because they want me to fail out and get a min. wage job.

When we split up, I lost all my firneds, (I hadn't told them of the abuse and now they accuse me of making it up), but this week is even worse for me, because the kids are all in camp for two weeks.

So I'm glad I found the site, and glad there is support out there, and MsReddlocks, please let me know how things turn out when the kids are older… I think we all have to do the same things in life, but, just at different times.

So, after you and your husband seperated, did you fine love again?

I find that sometimes helping someone else can be rewarding enough to help with the depression issue, its just right now, I don't feel I can help anyone.

God Bless,

Lynn

petals
petals 2010-06-26 22:01:28 -0500 Report

The same advice for you that I gave MsReddlocks, depression will destroy you if you let it. You can chose how your husband and his girlfriend act, but you can chose how you react to them. Don't let them win , don't let them keep you from reaching your goals.

MAYS
MAYS 2010-06-28 02:36:21 -0500 Report

By commenting, you are helping both yourself and others, although it may not seem like it, you are (thank you, very much).
~Mays~

petals
petals 2010-06-26 21:57:11 -0500 Report

Don't give up , the situation that you are in will get better in time. If you just quit then you are only hurting yourself and your children. Depression will destroy you if you let, don't let it. Get some help, pray and fight against this. I know that you didn't chose to be a diabetic, who does, but you can chose how you deal with it. Take care.

Harlen
Harlen 2010-06-25 22:38:49 -0500 Report

Hello
When I get depressed I got out and shoot some of my guns kill some paper Bary's lol and that makes me feel better lol
I have had a hard life left home at 14 and benn on my own ever sence I have lived under a brige and didnt know where any thing was going to come from.and at this time in my life when I get down all I realy need to do is look how fare I have come and how good I have it now.
What you can fix - fix it - what you can not fix - forget it .
this is how I look at it now
Best wishes
Harlen
PS
I was going to try to be funny but I think this just isnt funny

MAYS
MAYS 2010-06-25 22:54:11 -0500 Report

Harlen, I agree (don't worry about what you can't control) … just do your best.

~Mays~

RAYT721
RAYT721 2010-06-25 21:38:32 -0500 Report

I usually end up on the treadmill or on a walk around my development. I can't really say that I get depressed often because I keep myself and everyone around me laughing. Prayer doesn't help but it doesn't hurt either. I think one thing that helps me avoid depression is having a place like this because support is so important.

bettymachete
bettymachete 2010-06-25 19:26:04 -0500 Report

As a military wife I've faced serious bouts of depression away from family and friends including my spouse. In the military there are often support groups for family members during deployment but it often came with a catch ( that catch is it often affects a spouses career negatively), and those catches often deter family members from seeking help and leave them isolated. I was one of those people for much of my marriage. It had left me scarred and untrusting of reaching out in times of need to say the least. I hope and pray that the military is changing their practices.

Since I was isolated though I learned a bevvy of coping techniques. One was journalling, and blogging. Another was picking up a cause that was dear to me and running with it. Also support communities like this became very helpful.

MAYS
MAYS 2010-06-25 20:35:44 -0500 Report

You are a perfect fit for this support group.
With your experience in such matters, you can be a big help to others, based on what you have written about yourself above.
Maybe you can start a blog on coping with depression for the members here on Diabetic Connect.

Diabetes and Depression can be worthy causes to consider blogging about.

~Mays~

Pfc
Pfc 2010-06-25 20:55:31 -0500 Report

I can understand your feeling very well. I was born on an Army base and lived most of my growing up years on base except for 2years dad was in Korea and 1 year in germany during WWII. I can remember my mother having a "case of nerves" they called it back then when he was in Korea, but most of the time it was stiff upper lip for my brother and me because nothing could be a mark on my dads record. We had a good family life and dad and mother tryed to make it safe and secure for us kids. I was in 11 schools in 12 years, passed every year and grad and went to college , my brother too and I wonder at the crying and pitty parties that some have today when they have to move across town. We had our own little chic of Army kids that was our support system because some of the towns we had to go to school in did not treat us very nice. I guess we developed an attitude as a defense againt the small town school kids, because we knew we would be across the country next school year. So we did not have to be worried making waves at school .
Over the years the hard shell I developed helped my survive a really horrible marriage and a few mistakes I made along the way. I spent 6 months with a therapist after my
22year marriage blew up to get ride of the anger and the two things that have seen me thru many problems are my faith and the simple statement that " the only thing that can hurt you is reacting to something that happens in a negative way" If some one said something to you bad and you reply, all you are doing is causing your self pain and anger and fueling their anger. Just drop it and walk away. they can't have a fight with empty space.LOL
Depression seem to be one of the problems that diabetics have, and of course my NP wanted to scrip a RX, but I said no. With all the RX I am on at present , I did not want to add another one to the mix. I just try to do thing that please me, paint,sew, listen to music,read a good book, get some fresh air , deep breath, excercise!! dwell on the simple pleasures in life, pray. Best med in the world and its free.

MAYS
MAYS 2010-06-25 21:06:26 -0500 Report

Worthy of being placed on the wall for viewing every day, I appreciate and respect your reply on this subject.

" the only thing that can hurt you is reacting to something that happens in a negative way"

~Mays~

Diane987
Diane987 2010-06-25 19:15:27 -0500 Report

The only time I have depression issues is in the fall and winter months. It is called Seasonal Affective Disorder. I usually am more irritable, less energy, want to sleep more, and have a harder time controlling my diet. Honestly, it is like I just want to hibernate for the winter.

Now that I know what it is I have an easier time dealing with it. One of the main things you have to do when you have SAD is to get enough sunlight. During the fall and winter in New Jersey sunlight can be scarce so I get outside as much as possible and go for a walk around noon. If that is not enough there are lamps that simulate sunlight that are really helpful. Having SAD did give me a good excuse to get a vehicle with a sunroof: for medicinal purposes of course.

My old doctor wanted to put me on Prozac but I refused to take an antidepressant for something seasonal and so easily solved with free sunlight.

MAYS
MAYS 2010-06-25 19:53:20 -0500 Report

Being in control or understanding how much control that you actually have in any given situation, can sometimes make things a great deal easier to deal with.
Understanding SAD and utilizing it to your benefit shows your control of such.
Although I'm from New Jersey, I was never fond of summertime, maybe it's just the heat that bothered me, not the sunshine.

A sunroof for medical purposes, gotta love it !

~Mays~

monkeymama
monkeymama 2010-06-25 17:58:54 -0500 Report

Hello there MAYS, I am currently seeking help from a great counselor now. Even though I have a GREAT bunch or supportive friends here and my other support group, I knew I needed more to get to the root of it all. I needed to face the why and how inside of me. I knew I was hurting myself and my family with everything and I WANTED to make things right in my life. I deserve a better future as well as my family deserving a better, happier, and healthier mom & wife.

MAYS
MAYS 2010-06-25 19:28:24 -0500 Report

That was a very intelligent decision to make for both yourself and your family.
Your view of life (overall) was much greater than just getting rid of your depression, the need to know how and why would help you to understand.
The word " Why " allows us to learn, and most importantly, to grow.

The care of your family was based on your need to know the "Why" about yourself, and that is simply, beautiful !

~Mays~

petals
petals 2010-06-25 15:59:21 -0500 Report

When I was depressed ,I knew that I needed help. So I saw a therapist, It was great having someone to talk to who understood what I was feeling and a releif to know that I wasn't crazy or alone. I also took medication for a while. I think just by acknowlegding that I needed the help was the first step in getting well again. You don't have to live with depression , get help and start enjoying life again!! I am glad that I did!!

MAYS
MAYS 2010-06-25 16:26:28 -0500 Report

Awareness, acknowledgment and action are all key in starting the healing process, you made all of the right moves and I applaud you for such.
Your statement should prove to be a Godsend for many.
Thank you for responding.

~Mays~

daniel velazco
daniel velazco 2010-06-25 17:07:21 -0500 Report

I went through a depresstion and on the way to the Dr's
appointment I told my wife how I was feeling and we decided to talk to the Dr about it. We told him how I was feeling and we talk for a while and he gave me some medication for it.
I'm glad I told him everything I was going thru and as you I wouldn't wish this on anyone. The meds are working and I am also enjoying life.
Dan

MAYS
MAYS 2010-06-25 17:24:31 -0500 Report

It's nice to know that there was no shame or embarrassment on your behalf concerning your decision to discuss your state of depression with both your wife and your doctor.

Communication is essential for one's peace of mind.
Thanks for responding and possibly helping others.

~Mays~