paranoid

AuntieBear
By AuntieBear Latest Reply 2013-03-06 01:28:48 -0600
Started 2010-06-22 02:55:51 -0500

I am a type 2 diabetic since Sept. 12, 2008. Even though I was quick to get my diabetes under control and have kept it under control I still get terrified. Soemtimes my fear is to the point of paranoia. My fear is that the disease will get out of control and I will die a diabetes related death. I have had friends who have died from complications of diabetes and they suffered before they died. The rational side of my brain reminds me that those friends were not taking care of their diabetes. The emotional side of my brain is still scared. Everytime I start to get relaxed and think I will be ok, a diabetic I know dies. Then the paranoia comes back. My doctor says I am doing great and need to relax about it, but I still get afraid. Does anyone else go through this? How do you cope?


29 replies

AuntieBear
AuntieBear 2013-03-06 01:02:03 -0600 Report

Here is the latest. The doctor I found that was supposed to be working with me, wouldn't take my pleas for help seriously. After being with him for almost 18 months, I had to leave. He would not take my cellullitis break outs seriously and would not give me the level of care that every person deserves. When I went to the new guy in November he did a blood workup on me and I was very angry. My HA1c had risen to 9.7 under the care of the last doctor. So now I have to really fight to get everything back to where it should be. I am now taking 180 units of Lantus (split into 2 doses), 20 mgs of Byetta (split into 2 doses) and 2550 mgs of Metofrming split into 3 doses. In about 10 hours I have to go back to the new guy who is a PA for a new blood workup. I am so hoping it will be better than it was in November. So that is where I am now.

Mz Tara
Mz Tara 2013-02-19 09:54:50 -0600 Report

I get really scared when I hear people talk about someone they know that died from diabetes … I have only been diagnosed for 1 1/2 years, but like you said in your post, I always consider that I take care of myself, eat what I am supposed to, take my meds and stay prayed up!! I have wondered if I was the only person who had these bouts with paranoia…but I can only imagine that anyone with this disease would be paranoid and depressed at some points during their journey. I only convince myself that having diabetes have forced me into living a much more healthy lifestyle and that is something I can appreciate. You'll be fine, as we all will. God bless you!!

MrsCDogg
MrsCDogg 2013-02-18 19:26:23 -0600 Report

I think that anyone who has diabetes, or any chronic disease for that matter goes through periods where they are afraid. I know I certainly do. I think it's a part of being diabetic. We are told from day 1 that we are at risk for all kinds of complications like heart disease, stroke, cancer, blindness and the list goes on. I try not to dwell on it. I try to focus on the things that make me happy like my husband, my dog and my art. From time to time I have moments of sheer panic but for the most part I'm a very happy person.
Don't be too hard on yourself.

Gracie40
Gracie40 2011-10-31 12:20:58 -0500 Report

Hey there AuntieBear,
I know it is scary to have a disease like diabetes. We are all aware of that. But it solves nothing to worry and fret over what might happen. We all must take one day at time. Whether we have Diabetes or Cancer or heart disease or liver disease or whatever. One day at a time is just about all we can handle.

Are you aware that a clinical trial of Avandia involving 10,000 patients was stopped 18 months early due to the increased risk of patient's death by 25%?
That means that 2,500 people in that drug trial could have died with great blood sugars, super A1c's, real good control, but died because the medication they were taking for diabetes caused their death.

This is not some urban legend or some internet nonsense. This is legitimate. Both European Drug regulators and the FDA have announced a joint effort to restrict the sales of Avandia. Sales of this drug have been halted in Europe but patients in the U.S. will be allowed access to Avandia only if their physicians can attest that they have tried every other diabetes medicine and that patients have been made aware of the drugs substantial risks to the heart.

You are concerned, and that is good. Because you will work hard to keep in control. You will monitor what you eat, get your exercise, take your meds in a timely manner. You have a glass half full here. You are smart, you know right from wrong when it comes to diabetes and you are willing to be educated. Those are wonderful attributes to have.

All you have to do is control your blood glucose today. Just for today. And when today comes, you will be on top of everything.

Oh, Auntie Bear, may God Bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. Hugs Gracie

AuntieBear
AuntieBear 2011-10-31 02:50:59 -0500 Report

Here is an update that sucks! My doctor up and left in December with no warning at all. It took me 6 months to find another doctor who I felt safe with and was willing to work with me. In that six months I ran out of Avandia and my diabetes control went out the window. My HA1c went to 7.4 which is not where I want it to be. This new doctor refuses to even consider Avandia and has had to really change and increase my meds to get my diabetes under what he says is reasonable control. I say it is not reasonable. My daily readings are higher than they ever were with Avandia and I have a tendency to crash more often with the new set of meds compared to what my other doctor had me on. This sucks. I don't seehim again until December. When I do, I am going to have to find a way to convince him that Avandia did work for me.

MEGriff1950
MEGriff1950 2011-10-31 13:24:14 -0500 Report

Auntie Bear, Have you attended a diabetic education class? I did and shortly after got control of my diabetes. While at the class I was given a meal plan by a dietician and followed it as best as I could. Since July 7th this year I stopped taking 40 units of insulin, 4 glyburide and 1 of my metformin a day. My last A1C was 5.9 the previous being 8. something. A class may be very beneficial to you and help you lower your blood sugar readings back to where you want them.
I totally understand your fears and worry too about losing control. We both need to change that fear to concern so that we stay vigulant in our fight against the big D.
Good luck and God bless,
Mary

FLDawn
FLDawn 2011-10-31 14:45:19 -0500 Report

I disagree…with the new things being discovered and with your own control doing what you should and not what you want to do you do not have to DIE from it. Perhaps part of the body may give way and being diabetic we will be said to have died of it but in reality I think we know if we have done the right things or not. I am far from perfect and need to get back on track because I just remembered how I first felt about being diagnosed. Gabby you do sound a bit morbid…one thing we are sure of is that we will all die…how soon ???? I don't plan on rushing it by not taking care of myself as much as I can.

JoleneAL
JoleneAL 2011-10-31 10:03:19 -0500 Report

I think you need not wait until December to see the doctor.
BTW - what are you talking?
Avandia is black labeled and most doctor's won't prescribe it any longer.

Mickey/CCHT
Mickey/CCHT 2011-10-30 19:04:36 -0500 Report

I have only been taking care of my D for a few months. The first year was bad for me, denial, losing my mother and grandfather within a few months of each other, and just not doing what needed to be done. But not i'm fighting back and yes, there is some fear because i've lost a year. But i don't let it consume me, i can not. All my energy is going to doing what is good for me, my daughter and just life in general. Also i have a very strong faith in the Lord our Father and our Savior Christ Jesus. When things are too much or i'm feeling bad, i give it to the Lord. He loves us so much that he is always there for us. I don't mean to be "preachy" but this is what i know. If you have faith in our God, that is wonderful, lean on him. If not, I will pray that your heart is opened to his love and the faith he has in YOU! We are all here for you. Good luck and God Bless.

tabby9146
tabby9146 2010-09-20 10:52:21 -0500 Report

I know how you feel. I was scared the first few months after diagnosis, which for me was Nov. of 2008. I was on pills, it was caught early,I lost the weight and got off the pills after 3 months. But, I still worried some after that. It took a few months of doing fine, to relax. I think you will too. It is perfectly natural I think,

CaliKo
CaliKo 2010-09-20 10:03:11 -0500 Report

I was diagnosed in December of 2008, and also got it fairly quickly under control. And yes, I've known enough diabetics with complications to get really, really scared and know that it could happen to me too. I used to look at my plate of food, and it just looked like poison to me. Even though I was so hungry. I am mostly past that, and I know that my diagnosis keeps me from complications because I'm getting the medical care and education I need to control the glucose levels with diet and exercise, and will take the meds when necessary. Therefore the risk of complications goes way down. Just manage the disease, and try not to worry. Good luck, we're always here to listen.

jason123
jason123 2010-09-10 07:21:26 -0500 Report

I was in exactly your shoes some time ago. I think fear is good, fear is healthy, fear tell us to run away from danger. Having said that, you need to know (or remind yourself) that if your A1C level is that of a healthy, non-diabetic person, your chance of developing complication is very low, if any at all. I think every poster before me had offered some very good advice in terms of coping, I just like to add, there are many well controled diabetics lived 5,6 decades without complications, and so can we.

AuntieBear
AuntieBear 2010-09-11 03:28:21 -0500 Report

I hope so. My last A1C level was 6.7 which pleased my doctor. He keeps really close watch on my A1C and my daily readings so I know I am doing ok. So I think I just have to suck it up and get a grip on my fears and learn how to live with this stuff without losing my mind.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2010-09-11 14:42:22 -0500 Report

There's a saying I used to tell my bride: "Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you."

Jason reminds us that fear is part of us for a very good reason, self preservation! DM, I suspect gets to be a heavy burden for many of us and we can become fearful. This place is the ideal place to let it out and vent.

There used to be a discussion, called "Piss & Moan" where we did just that! If we had a gripe about anything we'd go there and vent. I haven't seen it for a while now. Perhaps I should look for it and bring it up again.

Guardianstone
Guardianstone 2010-09-20 08:39:18 -0500 Report

You have made a great point. The P&M material I fell into a few days ago was healthy venting and laughter. If tears went in, help came out. I wish I had found DC and that discussion before my breakdown. Then again I hadn't been DX'ed yet.
Has the P&M group started again? I would be interested in getting in on it. My luck they won't be here, or I have to cut my phone time.
Thank you and excuse my nattering.
Guardian stone

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-10-30 19:31:45 -0500 Report

There are some of the PnM group still around the site. Add something to one of the discussions and reactivate it again. that may draw some of the original group and perhaps some new posters too. I will have to look it up again, but not today. Too much to do.

Kaiyle
Kaiyle 2010-09-10 00:58:01 -0500 Report

I am very aware of how diabetes can deteriorate a body when it's neglected. My father died and other family members died from complications of this disease. When I was initially diagnosed, fear did grab hold to me, but it did not grip me long because I was aware of the disease, and that's my motivation to take good care of myself. So be aware AuntieBear, but don't allow fear to hold you back from living your life to the fullest. How do you cope? You cope by doing the things you enjoy, the things that bring you joy. The greatest thing that keeps me grounded in all of this, is my faith in God!!!

Mama Dee
Mama Dee 2010-09-08 23:59:36 -0500 Report

Happy day AuntieBear,
I am not a diabetic my husband Michael is. I will be standing on the wall in the name of Jesus concerning you being anxious about your disease. Remember only two people have control of your life God & you. It's normal for everyone to go through when have an illness but don't let the illness control you control the illness. You are highly favored in the name of Jesus because you are one of His daughters. So be blessed & know that God is in control.

Working 4 Jesus, & loving it.
Mama Dee

Katsarecool
Katsarecool 2010-06-28 08:06:26 -0500 Report

I was recently diagnosed so I can relate. Perhaps some counseling might help. I have other health issues and saw a cognitive behavior therapist who was able to put things into perspective for me and gave me some mental exercises to help as well. Good luck to you!

MAYS
MAYS 2010-06-27 10:10:25 -0500 Report

Paranoia is normal, it's just recognizing the possibility of something (real or imaginary), it's when the fear associated with it consumes us that it becomes a problem.

Reality is strange, in the mind it comes up short until it becomes real outside of the mind, so being paranoid of the complications associated with diabetes is normal, if anything it will help you to prevent or delay them by taking control of, and managing your diabetes.

The best way to deal with paranoia (or anything) is to confront it with fear tucked away in your back pocket.
Know the consequences associated with improper care and what you can do to prevent it and take it from there, you stand a better chance to fight a battle when armed proper and appropriately for the battle at hand, never take a knife to a gun fight !

~Mays~

petals
petals 2010-06-22 12:10:13 -0500 Report

I have felt that way along time ago. I just have to take care of myself and trust in God to show me the way. You have got to trust your self as well. The added stress that you are putting on yourself is not helping you in any way. You are in my prayers.

soldierswife
soldierswife 2010-06-22 10:23:30 -0500 Report

It is scary, and you never know when yours will spiral beyond control, but always do the right thing by your body. Know how important your life is to you. No diabetic ever laid in a hospital bed and wished they had eaten one more cake, or drank one more soda. However, im sure they say "man, i wish i had left those sodas, or cakes alone". Its basically up to God though honestly! If it is your time to go you will check out of this earthly life! If it is not your time, you are not going anywhere no matter what your body does! Honestly, if people can live through a heart attack, we can beat diabetes!!! Trust God, go with your instincts and know that you are only human and doing the best you can! My grandmother passed in january of this year from kidney failure because of diabetes, but she had it for 30+ years, so its fightable for a LONG time!!

Gabby
GabbyPA 2010-06-22 09:18:02 -0500 Report

I don't want to seem morbid, but we will most likely all die of diabetic complications. We live with a destructive disease. The thing is to keep it under control to limit these complications.

You are doing a great job of that. Feel confident that you are in a good place with your battle. We will all go eventually, so don't waste your energy in fear, spend it freely in life. You want to look back and say I did this or that because I wanted to live a full life. Fear will sap that away. Don't let it do that. I am not advocating foolishness and not taking care of yourself at all. All I am saying is that memories you make with happy times and family will live long past your physical body. Let the people that you love remember you as a person who lived a life of adventure, not one of fear.

bettymachete
bettymachete 2010-06-22 09:10:49 -0500 Report

I have noticed I am more ocd and paranoid in general about things and it's driving me nuts. I feel even more paranoid and anxious while my husband is away. I haven't spoken to my doctor about it yet but it is really bothering me. I try to keep myself on a schedule and go with the flow but it's tough that's for sure.