Do you blame yourself for your condition ?

By MAYS Latest Reply 2014-01-16 11:29:21 -0600
Started 2010-06-14 18:44:10 -0500

With all of the news that we read, hear and see concerning diabetes, do you ever blame yourself ?


Think positive, be positive !


56 replies

AttaGirl1969 2014-01-16 11:29:21 -0600 Report

Mostly, Yes. At age 30, I found out I have "adult onset" diabetes. My dad was the first person officially "diagnosed" with diabetes, so it is genetic. I've always been overweight, but if I hadn't let it get so out of control, I may not have gotten it at such a young age.

correctionsnurse1 2013-12-30 09:54:11 -0600 Report

Of course, I think most of us do at some point. I have my days just like anyone else, but at the end of the day, I believe it is 50/50 (part our own fault, part genetics) in T2, for T1, obviously it would be genetics. If I knew then what I know now, I would say if I took better care of myself and ate healthy, exercised, I would not be taking 4 injections a day plus oral meds. But do I think I would not have ended up with Diabetes? No, I just think it would not have progressed as quickly and produced the complications. But this is just MY opinion, and I try to accept responsibility for my actions.

Silicone eyes
Silicone eyes 2013-12-30 15:55:14 -0600 Report

That about sums it all up, type 1 or 2, it's how we deal with it. I've been T1 for almost 27 years, and wish I would've paid better attention and not snivelled about it earlier in life, I'd probably be running around with 2 working eyes now. I did that to myself, I didnt take things as seriously as I should have. I'm under control and doing just fine now, but if the 40 yo me could tell the 20 year old me…hell who am I kidding, I still wouldn't have listened. Just be prepared to pay the cost of what you decide to do.

correctionsnurse1 2013-12-30 15:58:27 -0600 Report

I believe T1 did not have a choice so to speak, since it is mostly genetics. But i do agree that the outcome is how you handle it.

Silicone eyes
Silicone eyes 2013-12-30 16:03:24 -0600 Report

well, don't buy into the idea that t2 is nothing more than the result of bad habits, 2 diseases with one name, I think the answer to both is in how we manage.

JoleneAL 2011-06-09 08:17:56 -0500 Report

Yes, well I did in the beginning. I had was being told for years my fasting labs were high and not having a thyroid (killed off in 2000) gave me a better chance of getting diabetes if I didn't stay on it. I didn't listen. So yes, I believe I'm partially to blame because if I had listened in the beginning, maybe I could have held it off for a few years.

roshy 2011-05-24 08:06:34 -0500 Report

i dont blame myself for my diabetes! im type one so its genitics unfortunitly. I was diagnosed when i was 16 and found it very hard to control and sometimes its hard not to blame yourself for not taking control and not following doctors orders but reflecting over that time i understand now that it wasnt that easy to accept so my mistakes were only human.

Im older now and have no choice but to accept the reponsablity that i have to take care of my diabetes. If my sugars are running high without me doing anything about it then yes, i do blame myself and nobody else.

All we can do is try our best and keep looking forward.

Sly Kitty
Sly Kitty 2011-05-24 07:20:12 -0500 Report

There is no one else to blame but me. I made the choice to stop exercising after surgery and when I was cut down on hours at work made the choice to change my eating habits and carb up. Yes, I knew there was a history of family diabetes, but never thought I would be the one to have it as I was tested yearly since a child for it. I have found once diagnosed it has been a struggle to eat right and lose weight. With arthritis exercising is very painful, but I do what I can to push through the pain. I am more than aware of all the negative that goes along with diabetes, but find that even though I am always busy now I am always hungary. I crave the foods I could afford to eat at one time, but no longer can so end up eating all the wrong things even though I don't want them. Does this make any sense to anyone because it sure doesn't to me.

Ms Julie
Ms Julie 2011-05-24 07:08:08 -0500 Report

I used to blame myself for my diabetes nd my other medical problems but thanks to my Drs. back in Oh nd my nurtientiest gettin me straight on everything i know know its not my fault . Like alot of pple say deal with it nd go on with life . Thank God for eachday im alive .

Hopieland 2011-05-24 01:47:49 -0500 Report

I never dreamed I'd become a PWD but here I am. I've come to know blaming myself is like blaming the weather, and the best thing I can do is get a grip and move on. I must confess, my eating habits are probably the culprit and they still aren't what they should be. I don't blame anymore, but I do regret my choices. I had a note on my computer that read: "Life is made up of choices. Don't choose to lose." So Now I'm choosing, one little tiny step at a time sometimes, but at least a step, to make better/wiser choices. This is a great question you started, Mays, thanks! GBY and Hopie hugs always.

pixsidust 2011-05-23 22:13:10 -0500 Report

I do blame myself. I ate tons of pasta, day in and out. Craved mac and cheese. If I ate nothing else it would not matter. So here I am, The weight put on and Diabetic. The good news is I am doing something about it. I have lost 16 lbs in the 9 weeks since my diagnoses and am eating right 95% of the time. 70 more to go but whose counting

Dixiemom 2011-05-23 21:10:14 -0500 Report

I don't play the blame game. I have always tried to eat the right foods especially now that I'm a Sr. citizen. It was a surprise to me when I was diagnosed and I know I try and deny the fact that I must watch what I eat. I do know that bread is my downfall so I must be careful. I do eat lots of veggies and beans rather then meat and potatoes. I am trying to eat better with less carbs.

f_red21 2011-05-23 17:34:59 -0500 Report

I did,I mean I didn't have to live the lifestyle I was for all those yrs. now that I reflect back on it but knowing my mom had it & several of my relatives it was only waiting to reach out 'n' touch someone & that someone was me.I don't blame myself anymore but do wish I didn't have it & like so many I've learned to cope with it & watch what I eat & try to keep it under control.That's all a person can do.

majikinfl 2011-05-23 15:16:55 -0500 Report

Blame no but dumb…knew the signs and symproms but denial gets the nod. I was in big time denial of even being "pre-diabetic". In my own defense my last MD never mentioned being borderline…BUT…since I lost my job and along with it went health insurance…hence 6 years passed with intermittent employment and no health insurance so walkin clinics became the place for a quickie physical for a job, no blood work. Took 5 months to be so ill I was taken to the hospial via EMS…week later I am being sent home with Dx of diabetic with high blood pressure. Scared and not knowing how or where to turn and being so overwhelmed I am just now 2 1/2 monts later getting my head around the Dx. Thanks to this website and the people here I am learning a lot [few other sites helped out also]. So thanks to eveyone for your suggestions, links and experiences :-)

pkwillhoite 2011-05-23 14:50:30 -0500 Report

I agree with LennyDenny… That is exactly how I feel… All my Aunts had diabetes and I still didnt watch what I ate unless I was pregnant (that is the only time I was careful) and I still have it…

Sweet Potatoe
Sweet Potatoe 2011-05-23 13:59:11 -0500 Report

I don't fault myself for the most part. I had brain surgery & because of the outcome, I was put on steriod(pednisone). I couldn't do much walking & absolutely no excersing for serveral months. I was eating the same amount of food, but I still gain weight because I couln't exercise. Most of my weight went to my mid section. I thought evenually I would be able to come off the pednisone, but that didn't happen. I am however only take 5mg each day. I was very upset with the situation because I had no stomach, in the Navy Reserves & excercising 5 days a week. Was medicailly discharged from the Navy Reserves. However, I started back excercising in January 2011 & I'm doing good with the weight lose, but it doesn't matter how much weight I loss, I'll always be a type 2 diabetic. I have learn to control my blood sugar, 89-95.

LennyDenny 2011-05-23 12:56:49 -0500 Report

I would say yes and no. I knew my mom was diabetic and it ran in her side of the family. But knowing what I knew, I still did not pay attention and ate and drank what I wanted knowing what it could do. We should all learn from out mistakes and try harder to take care of ourselves.

Te Ja
Te Ja 2011-05-23 12:41:25 -0500 Report

I blame myself 100% I knew my families history with diabetes. One day I was at the dr. with my mom for her diabetes and he looked at me and said your next. For almost 20 years I though I was doing good. Until month ago my vision became very blurry so I went to the drs. At first he though I had prediabetes but after the test results he looked at and we both knew this day was coming for a diabetic. I just sat there and cried.

dmax32 2011-05-23 12:37:06 -0500 Report

I do blame myself because I let my eating and weight get out of control. I am on my diabetic medications and eating right and trying to loose weight but I get discouraged… I don't own a scale and I have not been motivated to exercise…

I am hating this disease… bored with food after three weeks

I cut out fruit, bread, rice, pasta, and starchy veggies… I eat 30-45g of carbs a day. But, I have given myself 1 day a week to eat the carbs I cut in moderation..

I am angry and hate food right now!

Sly Kitty
Sly Kitty 2011-05-24 07:32:47 -0500 Report

I agree at times it is so discouraging. You don't need to cut out things you like. You can find a whole grain pasta or whole grain breads you like. Fresh fruit is good, but everything in moderation. It is how you eat along with what you eat and the portions you eat. You must read labels as that is key and as long as you eat no more than 15 to 20g of carbs every 3 or 4 hours you will not gain weight. You could eat a small apple or whatever you wanted as long as you don't go over that 20g every 3 or 4 hours. You get into trouble when you don't have enough carbs at the proper interveles. That is key. People who go many hours (ove the four) and do not consume carbs get in trouble. It is always best to eat healthy carbs like fruits and veggies, but you do need a good balance of protein and vitamins as well. Now if I could only pracctice what I preached we would both be healthier. I know how to do it, it is the doing it I am having difficulty with as well. Good Luck

correctionsnurse1 2013-12-30 10:00:48 -0600 Report

Sly Kitty…Keep in mind that some people are wheat intolerant, such as myself. In such case, I limit my pasta, but when I do indulge, I usually make my own, or I use Dreamfield.

Amy Tenderich
Amy Tenderich 2011-05-23 12:23:25 -0500 Report

This is really timely. We did a big post on Depression + Diabetes today:

Guilt and self-blame are of course a big part of this!

shortysmalls 2012-03-30 19:10:14 -0500 Report

I dont blame myself for getting diabetes just wish would havew t aken care of stuff sooner like losing weight before too late…but like anything else just dealing with it

nanaellen 2011-05-23 12:17:17 -0500 Report

Yes I do blame myself sometimes. I don't blame myself for GETTING diabetes I know it runs in the family but no one else got it till they were MUCH older! But if I had been more deligent when I first found out I wouldn't have half the problems I have now! And lord knows I'm sick and tired of BEING sick and tired!!

shorty31 2011-05-23 12:38:11 -0500 Report

so did i. it ran in my family also i didn't know i had it until i got married for the second time my doctor told me that stress can play a key factor also.because when i was in my 20's or 30's i didn't let no one or anything get to me. in my 40's and50' i am a wreck. so i totally agree. i am trying to bounce back and it is so hard.

estheratarah 2010-12-07 09:19:02 -0600 Report

Yes sometimes I do. I know it is genetic, so I could have taken better care of myself to help prevent it. I also realize even if I was a totally in shape person I could have still gotten it. I don't think of it as a punishment. I am thankful that I was well aware of the signs early on and now I can keep it under control and actually do what I am suppose to do so i can keep insulin at bay for as long as possible.

CaliKo 2010-12-07 10:37:17 -0600 Report

When I told a very wise friend of mine I had been diagnosed with two chronic diseases, he said that if we live long enough, we all develop chronic conditions of some sort, it's just part of being human. The key is as you said, do what you can to take care of yourself. It's not a fault or a punishment.

PRP 2010-06-18 09:33:35 -0500 Report

I do not blame myself but I do chalk it up to my genes. I am a product of my genes so if I cannot beat up myself in not being 6 and 1/2 foot tall, I have no right to beat up my self for diabetes. But I do have a right to beat up myself if I cannot follow thru the things that are necessary to control diabetes, basically diet and exercise. I have a right to beat up myself if I don't loose weight because that is what is responsible for my borderline hypertension. I feel responsible for the things I can control and don't worry about the things I can not.

Jackie375 2011-05-23 23:10:16 -0500 Report

So true and realistic! Kind of like the Serenity Prayer- God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. My husband says this is the Saint Francis Asis prayer. I believe this holds true in so much in life itself.

Anonymous 2010-06-18 09:31:43 -0500 Report

Yes definately. I don't know exactly what I've done wrong to be punished like this but somewhere, somehow I did something wrong. Its basic chemistry/physics-for every action there is a reaction. I did something wrong and I am now being punished. I did all the things "they" say-exercise, eat healthy, watch the weight and I've still been put under this life sentence. i've been over & over my life and I still haven't figured out what I ever did to deserve having my life destroyed-and destroyed it most certainly is,

correctionsnurse1 2013-12-30 10:04:55 -0600 Report

Sorry Anonymous, but I do not agree that you or any of us are being "punished". Diabetes may not be curable, but it is treatable if we CHOOSE to take care of ourselves. Everytime I want to have a pitty party, I think of how many children/adults have cancer. How fair is that? At least we choose what we put in our mouths. Sorry to be harsh, but diabetes is not a death sentence unless you make it one.

kdroberts 2010-06-18 09:44:37 -0500 Report

It genetic so your the major thing you did wrong is being born. Not that you can call that doing something wrong. I also don't really know why you think your life is destroyed, it's only destroyed if you let it be.

MAYS 2010-06-18 10:31:15 -0500 Report

(kdroberts) is correct, how is it your fault ?
To think and to act as though it is will create problems for you in other areas in your life beginning with your self esteem and self worth !

petals 2010-06-18 00:21:43 -0500 Report

I don't blame myself or my family genes in any way. It's just the luck of the draw. Now it's up to me to take care of myself and this disease, nobody else can do that for me.

Two painful feet
Two painful feet 2010-06-17 00:52:09 -0500 Report

I do not blame myself for having diabetis. It's something I have to learnto live with. I must take the best care of myself that I can.
Your Friend

MAYS 2010-06-17 01:11:18 -0500 Report

Continue to take very good care of yourself.
The time it takes to blame, is precious time and energy wasted.

Your Friend


Gimpalong 2011-05-23 11:27:18 -0500 Report

Mays, what you said is so true. When we put ourselves on a personal guilt trip, we have lost that time to use in a positive building way. Have a great week.

monkeymama 2010-06-16 23:00:38 -0500 Report

There are plenty of times where I have blamed myself. I will have asked myself all the "what if" questions. Than I have to remind myself, there could be countless what if's, do everything right and be physically fit and still BE a diabetic. I could sit around and blame bad genetics too but would it change what is? NO!!! I have had to learn to rise above, move forward, and live for TODAY. Live the here and now and not the past.

RAYT721 2010-06-15 18:58:27 -0500 Report

There ARE people who blame themselves, their parents, the environment, the economy and everyone / anyone / anything but the reality is that diabetes is a disease. It does not discriminate by age, height, weight or any factors. There are certain factors that cause risk but not cause. In some cases medication can help control the numbers and other cases, like mine, it's simply diet and exercise that's doing it for me. Through it all I believe that knowledge is power and I'm so thankful to have found this website. Thank you, Mays, for sharing the article with us.

monkeymama 2010-06-16 23:04:05 -0500 Report

You are completely right here in what you said. This is another good and strong point in this issue for some. It is also the stages for coping and coming to terms with things that occur in life.

Harlen 2010-06-15 09:54:33 -0500 Report

I hope there is no one that blames themself for this we may have helped it along a bit but if your going to get it you get it if not the you will not get it short of being damaged .
best wishes to all