How do you deal with temptation?

petals
By petals Latest Reply 2010-06-17 10:56:20 -0500
Started 2010-05-27 12:36:28 -0500

I have a very loving hubby and he is very supportive, but he tempts me alot, and not in a good way. After 8 years of being a diabetic there are still foods that I have no will power over, mostly chocolate, and when he tempts me I give in most of the time. I have talked to him about it and he says that he didn't mean to and that he will do better, than darn it he does it again, 3 times this week along!! Any suggestions?


70 replies

DonnaAnn
DonnaAnn 2010-06-17 06:20:39 -0500 Report

Wow !! You have it lucky, you are only being tempted ! I and my now X-husband had gone to diabetic classes together when we were still married, do you think he took the classes to heart? Nope. Everything they said not to eat and how not to cook, he did. If I complained, he would give me a guilt trip saying if I would get home from work at the right time, I could of cooked the supper. But, on the days that I did cook the meal, he and my son complained: theres no salt, there's no butter, theres no breadcrumbs, its too healthy.

RAYT721
RAYT721 2010-06-08 17:19:20 -0500 Report

Dear Petals … It's been 12 days since your post and I'm wondering (inquiring minds want to know) how many chocolates you've turned down and how many foot massages you've enjoyed??? My motto has always been, "lead me not into temptation … I can find it myself!!!" :)

petals
petals 2010-06-08 18:42:22 -0500 Report

Dear Ray and other inquiring minds, my hubby only was bad once!! And I got two foot rubs!! Once because he was bad, and the other one because he did such a great job the first time!!! So I only tunrned down chocolate once from him, about 8 times when I wanted something, I like your motto, I can find temptation all by myself!!! Since I have the sf jello pudding and the chocolate bars Gabby told me about I have been a good girl- and that don't happen often often folks!!!LOL!!

ccritch
ccritch 2010-06-08 08:52:13 -0500 Report

Hi Petals,

Join my life! :( Jon and Mia do this to me unconciously and conciously and then look at me and say you wants some and I just get up and scream and rant and yell at them both and throw them out on the porch and tell them not to come back inside until they are completely done! out of sight out of mind! I can't handle it. I know it is not fair to them that I am a diabetic and our whole family has to suffer with my changes but I refuse to make separate meals and different meals we all eat the same. If the shoe were on the other foot I am sure he would feel the same. My neighbor says he hears me yelling at them and I am a mean person, I told him I don't care why are you listening to my conversation. My husband told him was going on and now he is on my side and told my husband you should not be doing that to her. But he still does! and he still gets thrown out on the porch! LOL I don't care I need to make and take a Stand.

Hang in there try throwing him on the porch and tell him to finish it outside where you can't see it, smell it, or want it!

PS When I scream it startles them and they run! LOL I crack myself up!

Best regards

God Bless

Caroline

petals
petals 2010-06-08 11:25:40 -0500 Report

Some good ideas!! I dont cook differnet meals either. He never complains about the food . He just messes up every once in a while. But he hasn't done anything in about a month now. He did bring me some sf peanut butter cups. But if he messes up again I will throw him out on the porch and yell at him!!!!!

Diane987
Diane987 2010-06-04 23:43:05 -0500 Report

I'm a little surprised at how many people in this discussion say the people who love them the most are the ones who tempt them the most. It is hard enough to fight the temptation on our own without loved ones waving things they know we can't resist in our faces.

I don't have little kids to deal with so I don't have to worry about depriving them of anything but home is a no crap zone for me. If I shouldn't eat it, it doesn't enter my house! The outside world is filled with things that we should not eat. It is a constant battle, especially if you have to go to work everyday. Your home should be a sactuary, a place of safety where you know the enemy is not there. It is your only place where you can feel this way. Any nondiabetic in your house can eat whatever they want on the outside world but they should respect your disease enough to not bring it home.

How did I accomplish this sactuary you ask? Full color pictures of diabetic amputations, strategically placed on top of the candy, chocolates, ice cream and chips. It doesn't take long after that for family members to get the message.

At the same time you have to have healthy alternatives in your home at all times to help you fight the cravings. You also have to realise that it is up to you to just say no. Perhaps the pictures will help you too.

Good luck and God Bless,

Diane

petals
petals 2010-06-05 17:29:59 -0500 Report

Diane, I thank you for your advice. My home has now become a no crap zone as well. My hubby finally got the message. I don't buy any of the stuff that I know that I can't eat. And my hubby would eat stuff that he wants at work. We have been married for almost 23 years, even though I have been a diabetic for 8 years, it was a habit to bring me something home ,usally chocolate. He just forgot sometimes. But he is doing alot better now. He even bought me sugar free peanut butter cups!! So things are getting a lot better.

marienona
marienona 2010-06-04 15:24:27 -0500 Report

as with any diet, we should be able to have a treat now and again—for example, a small piece of cake. We just need to plan it into the menu for the day and not have 2nd's of bread or other carbs.

petals
petals 2010-06-04 15:41:56 -0500 Report

You are right as long as we plan everything should be alright. Just as long as it is not an everyday thing. I have been asking myself is it worth dying for, going blind for,losing a limb for ect. That has been working for me.

sandysimp
sandysimp 2010-06-03 23:29:08 -0500 Report

Ask him does he "Truly Love You", if he says yes, then tell him he is hurting you by these temptations that you can't refuse. You need him to Love you enough to stop the temptations so you can "live" a longer lifetime with him. You also may want to let him know what will happen when your sugar isn't under control. I know this is a bit harsh but sometimes it takes a direct approach to actually get a loved one to understand. There are also sugar free chocolates with few carbs that you can eat (responsibly) for a treat.

petals
petals 2010-06-04 09:37:50 -0500 Report

I am happy to report that yesterday my hubby came home with a treat for me, sugarfree chocolate peanut butter cups!! I do believe that he has FINALLY got it!! Thank you for your advice, Sandy! I will eat them responsibly, I promise!!

shyozz
shyozz 2010-06-06 13:27:53 -0500 Report

I have had to do this with My Hubby, but he did not tempt me he just let me do as i pleased instead of questioning me about what I was doing in the kitchen at all hours. I finally sat him down and asked him please to ask what I am doing and why and then tell me he loves me and wants me to be with him forever and not be sick. he now does this and I have stopped the cheating.

petals
petals 2010-06-06 14:59:18 -0500 Report

Good for you!!! Continue with this plan and no cheating allowed!! Good luck!! Did you clean out all the junk in your kitchen and make it a no crap zone?

2010-06-01 19:41:12 -0500 Report

I allow myself 1 meal (not 1 whole day) per week. This probably isn't for everyone but it seems i can get away with it so since i can… i do. During this meal i eat whatever i want (cure those cravings) as much as i want…(no doggie bags or to-go boxes allowed.. its one meal not 5 *wink)… it makes living diabetic and proper the rest of the week not so bad.. when i get down about it.. i just tell myself.. Saturday will be here before i know it!! :))

petals
petals 2010-06-02 10:39:33 -0500 Report

I use to do that, and I felt alot better. I will start that make this saturday. I found it was alot easier to get through the cravings and the week when I did that. Thank you for the reminder.

cupcake01
cupcake01 2010-06-01 16:37:07 -0500 Report

HI MY NAME IS MARIA AND I ALSO HAVE A LOVING HUSBAND TOO AND HE USE NOT TEASE ME BUT LET ME EAT WHAT I WANTED UNTIL I TOOK HIM TO THE DIABETIC DOCTOR THAT EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO HIM AND NOW HE TRY TO DO HIS BEST IN WHAT I WHAT TO EAT.HE WATCHES EVERYTHING I BUY AND WE GO TOGETHER FOOD SHOPPING AND I KNOW HE UNDERSTANDS THAT WHAT IS GOOD AND WHAT IS NOT GOOD TO EAT. ITS FOR MY OWN GOOD AND HEALTH TOO HE SAIDS AND I GET TO THOSE REALLY BAD FOOD BENDGES THAT I WANT TO EAT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. IT HARD BUT I REALLY TRY AND I CRY TOO CAUSE I CAN'T EAT IT. TRY TO DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND EAT VEGABLES AND HOPE FOR THE BEST.

petals
petals 2010-06-02 10:42:52 -0500 Report

Hey cupcake, my hubby understands, he went to the doctor with me, just sometimes he forgets. But you know he hasn't done would thing since I put this thread out. So maybe the last time when he tempted me and I cried, it got through to him. Thanks for the advice. I wish you all the best.

Getenitright
Getenitright 2010-06-01 11:55:36 -0500 Report

I would have healthy snacks in the house…that were safe for me to enjoy. The other people in our lives..who are not diabetic, just don't get it. It is not a diet. It is a way of life. You are responsible for taking care of yourself. So put your big girl panties on and just say "no thank you" and then reach for a healthy snack that is safe and smart. I know it's hard…but people only do what you allow them to do. Also, I would allow myself a special time…maybe once a month…when i would allow myself to enjoy half of his slice of cake.

petals
petals 2010-06-01 12:23:40 -0500 Report

I guess I will put on my girl panties and so no!! Once a month is not a bad idea. Is that what you do?

Getenitright
Getenitright 2010-06-02 11:27:30 -0500 Report

Yes…sometimes it's twice a month. I'm not a big sweet eater..but i love bread. So my downfall is restaurants with really good bread. I try to plan when i'm going to eat out so that i don't load up on carbs throughout the day. And I also do my best to go to the gym that day as well. Just because we are diabetic does not mean that we can't enjoy the foods we love. We just have to be smart about enjoying them. And we must also never forget that we are human…we will fail…we just can't fail everytime.

petals
petals 2010-06-02 12:14:48 -0500 Report

Thank you for ths advice. I sometimes beat myself up, when I mess up. Which just makes everything worse. But I am working on it. You are right we can't fail every time, or else we will end up very sick.

Sarri
Sarri 2010-06-06 04:12:27 -0500 Report

I'm not promoting becoming an alcoholic, but alcohol lowers blood sugar. If I am going out to eat at a restaurant, I have one glass of wine. I have tried this at Mexican restaurants, Italian restaurants, etc, and it really works. I am able to eat the high carb foods if I drink a glass of wine with it. Be sure not to order the fancy drinks with juice, etc, but stick to the basic wines/beers. And only drink a glass when you will eat a lot of carbs, otherwise your bs may get too low. I only do this once in a while - going out to eat, or at a party where there will be cake, etc (like my birthday!)

Diane987
Diane987 2010-06-07 22:03:22 -0500 Report

As much as we like alcohol, the body looks at it as a poison. The liver will stop processing everything else in order to get rid of the "poison". While you blood sugar may remain lower because of this process of cleansing, you liver is being saturated with the fat and carbs and other things it ould normally be doing. Eventually, this could cause a condition called fatty liver. To cut the anatomy and physiology lesson short a fatty liver is bad. In addition, a lot of diabetes medications say do not drink alcohol while taking this medication. That doesn't mean don't swallow it with alcolhol, that means no alcohol. If I'm not mistaken, drinking alcohol while on Actos can cause internal bleeding. I would be really careful if you choose to drink alcohol.

petals
petals 2010-06-08 00:14:17 -0500 Report

I totally agree with you Diane, you made some great points about not drinking when you are a diabetic.

petals
petals 2010-06-08 00:13:24 -0500 Report

Most diabetics should drink at all. My medication states not to drink alcohol at all. It could make me very sick. I would suggest for you not to drink any wine or other alcohol at all and to talk to your doctor.

ccritch
ccritch 2010-06-08 09:13:20 -0500 Report

That happens to me also and I am diabetic for 9 years now. My friend is diabetic and they can drink all day and night and their BG is perfect. Not to mention A1C below 7 how can that be?

Besides one glass of anything beer or wine i will be tipsy! LOL

davidvermont
davidvermont 2010-06-07 20:44:14 -0500 Report

Yep = bread kills me. I can OD on carbs even before the food comes. One thing you can do when you eat out, if everyone with you will agree, is to ask them to wait to bring the bread out with the food. As Oscar Wilde once said: "I can resist everything in life except temptation."

petals
petals 2010-06-08 00:10:05 -0500 Report

I love bread too, and that is a good idea to bring the bread out with the meal not before!!

rogovin
rogovin 2010-06-01 11:33:21 -0500 Report

my husband is just the opposite. he gives me arguments when i eat bad but - he does not stop me from buying the chiociolate in tghe store

bace
bace 2010-05-31 14:58:40 -0500 Report

OMG! My husband does the same thing! I know he means well, but think he forgets that it's truely bad for me! I'm having trouble losing weight, but my numbers have been good for the past two years…so I do allow a little cheat sometimes. When he does this to me, I just take a little. Only a little. I still look him in the eye and say " I shouldn't and you know it" and he agrees and promises to do better…I also encourage dark chocolates, or no added sugar treats. What are we gonna do with them??!!! good luck petals!

Lakeland
Lakeland 2010-05-30 22:46:10 -0500 Report

ask him to switch there are diabetic chocolates that aren't bad & I'm using the sugarless pudding mixes to get my chocolate, but I do need to watch for sugar alcohols in the sugarless chocolate.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2010-05-31 06:28:29 -0500 Report

The other alternative to get your chocolate fix is eating some 75% or 80% cocoa bars. They are not nearly as sweet and I find that a serving is too much because the flavor is so intense. I try to get my fix that way. It still has fat in it, but the carb count is very low.

ccritch
ccritch 2010-06-08 09:16:55 -0500 Report

What is the name brand of the cocoa bar? I would like to try it out. I usually need my chocolate fix especially when i am stressed out!

Thanks

Harlen
Harlen 2010-05-27 22:47:03 -0500 Report

LOl My wife does the same thing to me.
As with all the adds JUST SEY NO Lol
its so hard I know but we know we cant have it so just sey no
best wishes
Harlen

petals
petals 2010-05-28 06:25:11 -0500 Report

Glad that I am not alone in this, thanks Harlen! I will be saying no alot more forceful from now on!

Roy531
Roy531 2010-05-27 18:59:47 -0500 Report

I have learned over the past 8 years of being a diabetic to ignore the temptations and believe me there are a lot of temptations at work. Somebody is always bringing something and leaving it in the breakroom. Easiest way for me is to turn around and walk out, and at lunch time when I eat in the breakroom I move it to the counter to get it off the table.
Roy

petals
petals 2010-05-27 20:48:58 -0500 Report

I will try my best to ignore the temptations from now on. I only gave in once this week, so that is a start. Thanks.

Roy531
Roy531 2010-05-27 21:52:48 -0500 Report

We are always getting cookies, cakes, and candy from teachers or somethime from vendors that we buy from so there is always something in the break that I cannot eat or shouldn't eat, if I gave into the temptation on a aily basis I would dead by now. It is a daily thing to have some kind of sweet stuff in our breakroom

RAYT721
RAYT721 2010-05-27 17:49:12 -0500 Report

I am guilty of pushing snacks, larger portions, etc. onto my wife. It's love. (that trait is not just limited to Italian women) … my advice? Tell him that your tastes have changed.

Oh, ya know, "that chocolate looks really good, honey, but I'd really like to have a (piece of fruit, chocolate protein shake, sugar free cheesecake) instead." I am willing to bet that in an attempt to continue to please you and tempt you, he'll simply be tempting you with better options.

Let's face it… you have to eat so keep your snacking and craving to a low fat yogurt, handful of nuts, or whatever you do like.

After telling him a few times (countless it seems … men have short memories) to get, make, cook or bake you this or that, he'll stop offering. Or, whenever he tempts you with something, don't get mad… get even… force him to give you a back rub, foot massage or whatever. Again, he'll stop offering.

petals
petals 2010-05-27 20:51:35 -0500 Report

Ray , you crack me up! And you give great advice, so thank you. I can use a neck massage, so I will keep that in mind. You are sneaky, and I mean that in a good way!!

Gabby
GabbyPA 2010-05-27 17:19:15 -0500 Report

My hubby has his foods that I should not touch too. What I have started doing is ask him to keep it at his desk. Not in the pantry. That helps a lot, out of sight out of mind. He will give me if I ask, but since I am not supposed to be asking I find it helps a lot that way.

My problem with temptation is when there is something that I can have, but have to be careful with. If I am in front of the TV for any length of time, it calls my name. I have to be very careful if we watch a movie together or anything. That is when I get into trouble.

petals
petals 2010-05-27 20:54:22 -0500 Report

I try to keep things out of the house, and I do a pretty good job most of the time. He tempts me most when we shop together. So I will take your advice and use it. Thank you.

ccritch
ccritch 2010-06-08 09:20:07 -0500 Report

I have to say I purchased a Dove Dark Chocolate Bar and I never got to eat it cause I left in my car on purpose cause I knew I would eat it and it melted and seeped out of wrapper. So I had my husband clean it up!. I really did wanted to eat it!

FEVE NAOMI
FEVE NAOMI 2010-06-13 12:10:32 -0500 Report

You know critch, I do not know how to loose weight, I need to loose at least 50 lbs, and I don't know how. I lost 20 lbs, but then I had an accident and I gain them again. Now I am 180 lbs, and I don't know how to loose them, could you please give me a tip. That will be a good help. Thank you and I am sorry for bothering you. Have a nice day.

petals
petals 2010-06-14 16:32:12 -0500 Report

I think that the best way is what works for you. For me counting cals. and carbs. help. Good liuck.

mamacita8724
mamacita8724 2010-05-28 10:27:46 -0500 Report

There are many other options now for diabetics. Instead of a snickers try some sugarfree chocolate covered peanuts. There are mnay foods out there now for diabetics to help cure that sweet tooth but not hurt you at the same time. Search online and I know you can find something that will curve that sweet tooth.

petals
petals 2010-05-28 15:27:40 -0500 Report

Thank you very much for the advice. And I went looking today when I was shopping and I found sugar free chocolate pudding !! I will continue to look for things, that wil not hurt me.

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