I have some new material. Some I have borrowed from my dating site and some I have received as e-mails. Enjoy!
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight..
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels…
Helllloooo!!!…bottles won't fit in printer !!!
Got really excited…finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months… box said
Trapped on escalator for hours … power went out!!!
Tried to make Kool-Aid…wrong instructions…8 cups of water won't
fit into those little packets!!!
Tried to go water skiing…couldn't find a lake with a slope.
Lost breast stroke swimming competition…learned later, the other
swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
Got locked out of my car in rain storm… car swamped because soft-top
The capital of California is 'C'…isn't it???
Hate M & M's…they are so hard to peel.
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I
Couldn't call 911. 'duh'…there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid
ONE OF THE BEST BLONDE JOKES OF THE YEAR!
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde
female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and
again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again,
marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'
To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'
(Are you ready? This is a beauty…)
'My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'
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