Helping Others Only To Be Treated Badly !!!

By monkeymama Latest Reply 2010-05-11 11:02:31 -0500
Started 2010-05-09 21:42:48 -0500

My Mothers days started off okay till my kids got up and the day moved forward. STRESS!!! The kids just stressing me out with fighting, not listening, and trashing my clean house up. While I am laid up from a bad knee injury. I started stress eating. I am not proud of it but I thought I was starting to bounce back and trying to stop. NOT!!! I thought i was trying to help someone in one of my online support groups. I was VERY SADLY wrong on this one. I am now feeling hurt and depressed. I mean well and was not one bit rude to this person. I was guiding one in understanding how to carb count. When things like this happens to me in my life. It makes be push up the guard rails and shut down. My husband and my dad both agree I am too nice and way too helpful to others. I have trust issues within me. Every time I try to help someone, eventually I get hurt BADLY. I than go into shut down mode and close myself off. It has been my way of coping with things. I've tried talking to counselors about this and AGAIN trust has become my demon in me. I allowed myself to slip into a further eating binge. I am not proud of it and I know I will bounce back. I just got to find my mojo and get there again. For me writing sometimes helps me calm down but… we'll have to see. I am not sure I feel like opening up or helping right now. I am sorry! I just need to go and find that mojo and try to move forward. We'll see from there!

5 replies

monkeymama 2010-05-10 22:54:36 -0500 Report

Thank you all for your comforting words you left me here. It really warmed me up. I definitely agree with Harlen and Pat about giving advice and help to others. In my thinking of what you said and my time away. I realized that I should tell myself "okay I helped this person, they did (or said) something negative. Move on and not allow ones ignorance and cold persona to effect me. I have to love and like me for who I am. If one doesn't like what I have to say. They don't have to remark back. Sorry if that sounds bad not meant that way. Again thanks to all and best & warm wishes to all. Hugs!!! :)

GabbyPA 2010-05-11 11:02:31 -0500 Report

I have to ask, did that conflict happen here on the site? It is my hope that it is not the case, but often we can take things wrong and get lost in a dark place.

The heart of those who strive to help will always be subject to ridicule. But your heart is a good one, and it will help again. That is just who you are. We cannot function on this site without people who are willing to put their life out there and offer help. Don't shut down, we need you here as much as you need us.

Harlen 2010-05-10 15:06:31 -0500 Report

Well I know what you meen .
Never give up you are a frend to me and I care for you a lot
I did the same thing and still do from time to time ,The one thing that did help me was I got a nice rock and when I feel I need a snack I take it out and rub it till then need goes away and it dosent take long iether.
Kids can get to any ones lol they know how to do it very well
As helping others I look at it like this or try to take what I can give and use what you can and what you cant toss out !
It is working for me but it takes time I know I care to much.
Hugs and best wishes

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-05-09 23:27:53 -0500 Report

Hi, and thanks for all of your words of wisdom! They can be wise to some, but not appreciated by others, we are not all alike, but when ones' heart is sincere, like I am sure yours is, you can only share and hope others will benefit, but there are never any guarantees—that is just life. My words have not always been understood either, but I just take some time out, evaluate what I have said and meant, then dive in again when I feel ready. May you feel the same, take your time, as I am sure that some of us can really benfit from your words, and those of others, depending on our current frame of mind, I guess——Hang in there!! Hugs, and Warm Wishes, Pat R

spiritwalker 2010-05-09 22:15:00 -0500 Report

Take whatever time you need. We will be here. I think you have shared some good things in your posts. Sometimes healing has to be a private act. I will be thinking of you and keeping you in prayer. Come back when you are ready.

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