scared about loosing the fight?

By payasa Latest Reply 2010-05-15 22:46:23 -0500
Started 2010-05-06 20:14:54 -0500

Hi everyone! i jst need to talk to someone about how i feel. My husband says he understands but i really don't belive him. Don't get me wromg h try's but i feel worthless. Becuase of my diabetes i have kidney problems thank god i was on dialysis only for a few months but still my legs swell up alot and i get tired. Theres tme i perfer to just give up but i have two young boys tha they need me but i don'y know what else to do.

8 replies

KarenH 2010-05-15 22:46:23 -0500 Report

Welcome to Diabetic Connect! I hope you are having some better days. Please don't give up. We all care…

sunney224 2010-05-09 10:47:22 -0500 Report

I hope you have come back to read your replys. I don't post often but I come here and read alot. There are so many of us who have felt the same way at some point in our lifes. The people here are so supportive and have so much good advice. Please listien.

petals 2010-05-07 06:35:55 -0500 Report

I can understand where you are coming from. I was depressed when I was first diagnosed with diabeties. Please get some help with the depression. You are worth it and so are your two sons. Hang in there things will get better. I will be praying for you.

Harlen 2010-05-06 23:31:29 -0500 Report

I think we all feel that way from time to time.
Its a long fight so hang in there.
Best wishes

jayabee52 2010-05-06 22:52:20 -0500 Report

Howdy Payasa. and a big WELCOME to DC!

I am wondering why you have feelings of worthlessness. DM can be depressing. And CKD can be depressing, I've been there. Good to learn you were able to get off dialysis. so have my bride and I. We were each on it for a while but were able to get off. Me cause i no longer needed it and her because it wasn't doing what they were hoping it would do (draw off fluid).

Payasa, I don't want to sound like you NEED to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, but feelings of self worth comes FROM WITHIN. But that doesn't mean that you have to go it alone.

Please speak to your Doctor about your feelings ASAP. S/He can either refer you to a professional who may be able to help with talk therapy and/or medication. Or if you can't afford a therapist (some will work on a sliding scale according to income) check into a talking to a "semi pro" like a clergy person

There's NO SHAME in needing help or in getting help, professional or otherwise. From my perspective it is a shame to have help available, but not take advantage of it when you need it. You are needed by your sons, and they should have the best mommy that you can be.

And please give your husband the benefit of a doubt. If you are depressed, you may not be thinking clearly. I know, I've been where you seem to be, from the little you've said in your discussion starter. I have thought about just stopping dialysis, when I was having it, and just let my body poison itself on its own waste products. But I decided that I wouldn't give my sons a bad example by quitting on life when things got tough. Thank God I kept on doing dialysis until I (unexpectedly) no longer needed it.

I really thought at that time (of needing dialysis) that my life was OVER and it was all downhill from that point. I didn't know that God had a new bride waiting for me (- that's her in my profile picture - My ex divorced me about 5 years before that time I needed dialysis)

So PLEASE get some help ASAP!

You can also talk to many of us here. We understand because we're in the same boat and most of us have felt feelings of hopelessness or like giving up.

Mays, Gabby, & I are in your corner! Most everyone else will be too if/when they see your discussion.

Blessings to you and yours


GabbyPA 2010-05-06 20:35:02 -0500 Report

Hey Payasa,
I am glad you are here because it shows that you are not ready to give up yet. Here you will find the support that you may be lacking at home in a way that people without diabetes just don't really get. Becoming a part of our community will open up a whole world to you of understanding.
Look into those little boy eyes and promise them that you will do what you can to be a great mom for them. They love you.

MAYS 2010-05-06 20:27:44 -0500 Report


Do it for yourself and those that you love.
Most importantly remember this, you stand a chance if you fight, none at all if you give up or give in !

Give it a try, one hour at a time, one day at a time.

Welcome to Diabetic Connect, feel free to talk about what bothers you and do what your doctor recommends, it's not easy, but it isn't that hard either.
It takes patience and commitment, you can do it !

Just try !