For Mother's And Daughter's!

sisson
By sisson Latest Reply 2010-04-27 20:04:07 -0500
Started 2010-04-24 13:42:12 -0500

It was a week ago today when I got a very ugly and mean text from my middle child which is my daughter which is 29 1/2 and some of the thing she had said to me I would have expected her to say to me when she was 5 or 8 and the rest at maybe 16 but not now. It hurt me so much it tore me up inside sence I have gone though so much with this child her life style which I've known sence she was a baby but her sucide atimpes her cutting, and a couple other things that we went though. Then a few hours later she text me back tell me that she was sorry that she was mad at herself because of thing that she had heard about me and the way that I have change which I still don't know what she was refering to. And she said that she was mad at herself because she didn't want to end up like me. I'm have gave all my life to my kids valentered kidnegarden to high school over 600 hours in my preschool never work out of the home realy they realy never had a babysitter. What more did they want. Can I get some help? Plus my older daughter is so jalous of the other two and if I don't spend time with her and her four kids. What is a mother to do?


12 replies

susiemaeemily
susiemaeemily 2010-04-27 20:04:07 -0500 Report

Hey what is going on with these kids. I Have one daughter and I tried to do so much for her. I took on great vacations, pampered her, she had a skin condition and I knew she was shy, I supported very thing she did.

She recently had her first child at 35 and stated that I did not help her enough. Now, she does not call or come to see me. I know she must know that it affects my condition.

I have been in pray and the whole ordeal has grown me closer to God.

Pray seems to be the only hope for the future.
Praise God.

joni55
joni55 2010-04-27 14:39:38 -0500 Report

You know something. No matter how good you treat your kids and what you do for them, it can never prevent them from being suicidal. If you are depressed and feel there is no hope, there is very little you can do. I know, nothing that anyone said of did made a difference. Even if I was feeling better, if someone looked at me wrong, I was in the bathroom with the razors, and not to shave. It is a very bad place to be in. But, God can and does heal, so there is hope. Please don't get frustrated too much. One day, when she is ready, things will change for her.

ladydove
ladydove 2010-04-26 19:59:16 -0500 Report

I CAN TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM WITH YOUR KIDS. I HAD THE SAMEPROBLEM AND FINALLY HAD TO TELL THEM THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR FROM THEM UNTIL THEY STARTED ACTING LIKE ADULTS. THAT THEIR BEHAVIOR WAS NOT GOOD FOR MY HEALTH AND I HAD NO INTENTION OF LETTING THEIR WORDS AND ACTIONS HARM ME ANY FURTHER OR POSSIBLY KILL ME. IT WAS HARD TO DO BUT NOW I AM STARTING TO GET MY BLOOD SUGAR UNDER CONTROL AS WELL AS BY BP.
GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS. YOU WILL BE IN MY PRAYERS

sisson
sisson 2010-04-24 23:28:59 -0500 Report

I want to thank you Ladys so so much and you do know how much. There are so many day's and times when I just can't take my famliy and more and I want to run away or I pray that god would take me in my sleep but thank the lord he's not ready for me and I'm not ready to go just yet but I would still like to run away and never come home. Maybe they would apreaseate me more.

imsuzie2
imsuzie2 2010-04-25 04:59:45 -0500 Report

Sisson, I think running to a therapist would be of great help. You are important, and you need to realize that. Please seek help. It sounds like you might be depressed, and talking to a professional, and possibly medication would do wonders for your frame of mind. Your thoughts are disturbing to me. Good luck to you…

Gabby
GabbyPA 2010-04-25 12:51:42 -0500 Report

Maybe a weekend away with some friends would do everyone some good? Sometimes people don't appreciate all we do, because we just do what has to be done. I am that way, and there are days when I just want to say "Did you see all the things I did for you today?" I don't, but there are days.

Then is when you need to hook up with a girlfriend or two, go out to a movie. A real chick flick, and say no guys, no kids....just have fun. Laugh, cry, do whatever you want. Get papmered at a spa or go to an art gallery and a foo foo place for lunch. It helps me. I don't do it often, but it is so refreshing when I do.

imsuzie2
imsuzie2 2010-04-24 18:01:36 -0500 Report

Sisson, you are receiving some great advice. I hope you can use it to start making changes. I think this advice and some therapy to help you gain control of your life with be a big plus. It is hard to change the way you have been mothering for 29 1/2 years, but I think you will all be happier. Might be time for some tough love. You need to gain some confidence in yourself to break the habits formed over the years. Life is unpredictable. We never know what each day holds for us, and you want to have the relationship you want now and not regret not having it if something unforeseen should happen. Several months ago, a woman at work lost her son to a suicide. He lived in Alaska and had not seen him in years…

Good luck to you.

MAYS
MAYS 2010-04-24 17:38:17 -0500 Report

Although it's easier said than done, but in the end it's much more healthier for all involved to do, LET IT GO !

Whatever it is, release it, it requires a great deal of personal resources, time and energy to hold a grudge, the effects, both mental and physical, are not worth it.

No one can become, " Like someone," good or bad unless they choose to be that way.

Make your peace now, (every one) while there is still time for it to mean something !

It's not that life is too short, life is much too precious to waste on nonsense, if it robs you of your happiness, it's
nonsense !

~Mays~

Gabby
GabbyPA 2010-04-24 15:06:19 -0500 Report

Let go. You did the best you could. They will understand that one day. I hope it is before damage to the relationships is permanent.
The road goes both ways and if I would have been jealous of my brother because he had more attention from my mom than me, that would be my fault, not my mother's.
I am sad to hear that your children are so fitful for you. It is hard to see them grow up and loose that cute little girlness to them. I always tease my mom telling her that my brother gave her grief when he was young, and I give her grief now that I am older.
We have our days, but we still love each other. We have had days that I am sure both of us wish we could eat our words, but thank goodness for apologies and forgiveness.
The thing that binds my mom and me is that every once in a while, we have to have that really hard heart to heart that clears the air of resentment and anger. It is hard, but worth it.

Gramamtz
Gramamtz 2010-04-24 16:37:15 -0500 Report

Oh I can relate to that me and mom always get into it but, my sisters say that its her age and that is one thing I do not agree with. She is 77 but, she does not act 77 she is a very loving mom dont get me wrong but, when she gets angry she gets angry and to top it off I have been the one that has been taking care of her since my dad passed which has been about 17 years ago. I have 5 sisters and 3 brothers and never do they pick up to help I need to say something in order to get that help. I am not one to ask for help so I rarely do I struggle and just tell my sisters to duck and I will take everything from my mom has to say. I am a protector of my family in my heart but, oh well if I must do things this way then this is what God had in store for me because I gave my parents a hard time when I was growing up. Now I guess this is my way of paying back for what I did, like they say no one leaves this wold without paying what we owe.

Gramamtz
Gramamtz 2010-04-24 16:51:37 -0500 Report

I have a daughter she is 24 she is the most jealous person you can find. She does not want me around my other 30 year old daughter and let me tell you because of her I had neglected my other daughter and basically my world was revolving around her and one day I got tired of it and told her look you have kids she has 4 and I told her you are not an only child and yes it was my fault when you were growing up that I spoiled you rotten and payed too much attention to you and neglected the other one but, guess what you are 24 with 4 children instead of wanting me around why not spend time with your own children and get a life. You are grown I am here for you but not to raise your children nor my world revolves around you anymore this is my time and I get to do what I want now its your choice you are welcomed in my home day or night with your children but, dont expect me to drop what I am doing to take care of your needs its not working that way anymore now either you take it or leave it but, these are my rules now its up to you I love you and the kids but, get a life. Believe me when I said that it broke my heart but, she did not see my tears now we have the best relationship ever. I help her out she helps me and I leave with my other daughter and all she says ok have fun. So you need to put your foot down and get over her already the day you die what is she to do. I hope this helps you friend. A 29 year old young lady should get a life a job and let you live how you want to live you nor her can change the past there is nothing you can do about it stop worrying about it move on and live you life. She will get over it someday and if she doesnt oh well that is her not you. Be happy life is too short. God Bless you and your family

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