know it alls

By shorty31 Latest Reply 2010-04-21 23:46:45 -0500
Started 2010-04-20 07:17:57 -0500

what do you do with someone you talked to could be family or friend and they tell you that what the doctor is telling you is wrong and try to tell you whats wrong with you. my mom made me so angry with her yersterday. we went to the mall together and i started to cough first thing she said you need to lose wieght well i allready know that tell me something new.i was caughing because of the perfume she wore.the minute we got back to my place i had stopped. i tried to tell here that it was my breathing.then she went on and on about my being diabetic to the point that she check the frige to see what in it that make my blood boil. let me do what the doctor said and stop treating like i'm 10 years old again how do i deal with her HELP!!!!!!!

28 replies

Miminv 2010-04-21 07:48:24 -0500 Report

Your mother is mad because she can't control you and that is the very thing she wants to do. She wants complete control including being your doctor. Stop, drop and roll away from her. Counseling has helped me to understand just how much my mother had tried to control me. I have not had to go on any drugs to help me understand that I was surrounded by two controling and selfish people. My Ex tried to be so controling that he threatened me, that he would leave if I didn't stop the disability hearing and go to work instead. You would have thought after 12 years he could see how much pain I was in with my neuropathy. But he couldn't, it was all about him and what I would do for him. He left when I stopped doing for him because I had to do for myself, knowone else is going too.
I also would tell my mother that I couldn't breath with all the hair spray she used. The fact that our mothers have ignored our health in not right. I would not do that to a person who had said they could not breath. In fact it is very selfish of them. Our mothers are people and not gods. They deserve only a small amount of respect but not at the expense of our own well being.
Now if my mother starts up with me I leave, or I will tell her she needs to leave. It is getting better and we have been able to be around each other a little more each time we visit.

shorty31 2010-04-21 10:17:22 -0500 Report

we are going through the same type of problems. my mother has controled me every since i was young. all my life i was afraid of her, i have very low self exsteme but i am working on that sometimes i just look in the mirrow and i just see a little girl. my husband does it by teeling if i don't feel like cooking or haveing sex with him i won't get any money from him. he gets mad when he sees me on this computer and i'm laughing at one of you because you said something funny. tell why do people feel that they have to be that way. but not any more i'm finding myself geting the faith that i can do this on my own i shouldn't feel bad about myself because i am somebody. and if you don't like who iam leave me alone. life is to short to be unhappy all the time i'm going to start to enjoy myself.

MAYS 2010-04-21 11:16:27 -0500 Report

We can coexist in this world with others even if we walk different paths and are not on the same page as others all of the time.
You are and will always be a child of your mothers no matter how old you become, she (as all mothers are) is due the respect and love just for, if for no other reason, being your mother, without her you wouldn't exist.
Give her what is due her (respect) and ask that she does the same as far as you are concerned, a parent cannot turn off that parenting capability instilled in us no matter how hard we try, when you hurt, so does she, parents do not know how to not be parents !

When it comes to diabetes, many people including diabetics are ignorant and misinformed about it and voice their opinion based on what they hear or what they believe is correct, it's up to us as diabetics to educate ourselves first and then others about diabetes, continue to do what you know is correct for you.

One day you will reach for that love of a parent and touch nothing, the voice will become silent and two things are left for you to deal with, memories and your conscience, neither one is a suitable replacement, one fades with time and the other one questions you.

"Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee," Exodus 20:12.

Being a parent is never easy, it's misunderstood and undervalued until you become one, that's when we realize that it's a lifelong profession.


Miminv 2010-04-21 11:57:59 -0500 Report

Mays, I know you mean well but. Not all mothers are what they apear to be. Mothers are people with problems just like everyone else. There are mothers who are drunks and do drugs and some that have mental problems and several other things. Some Mothers don't give their children any respect no matter how much respect the child gives them. As far as diabetics being ignorant that must mean you know everything and that you don't need to be on this site. I thought this site was for people to connect and learn about all the differnt things that happen to diabetics. As for informing others about diabetes they have to be willing to listen and learn and most people do not want to hear it.

MAYS 2010-04-21 12:11:41 -0500 Report

Agreed !
Ignorant in the sense of not knowing, we are all ignorant about something.
I'm not stating ignorant as not willing to know or to learn, that type of ignorance is just down right self damaging, surprisingly it does exist.
I wasn't trying to degrade or belittle your comment to this discussion by any means, I was just pointing out how hard it is to stop being a parent at any age or stage in life.


Miminv 2010-04-21 23:46:45 -0500 Report

Thank you for expanding on your statement.
I think most people who are told they are diabetics are scared, lost and confused when they find out. If their life is busy like mine was with working full time, going to college almost full time and keeping a house with my ex. Trying to figure out what to eat, how to take care of your diabeties and all the rest that comes with it is way too much. So most of us try to do what is needed and then denial sets in and bang. Something happens, for me it was a doctor messing up a simple appendectomy and three more surgeries followed because of it. I wasn't even taking pills yet for my diabeties. I believe a lot of people here have stories like this. Where it took one thing that started the ball going and then anything else would make it worse.
I am sensitive to people saying parents don't stop being parents. Some parents are not parents in the first place.

Miminv 2010-04-21 11:30:25 -0500 Report

Wow, i thought I was the only one with two people trying to control me. I know that it takes one step at a time. And the first step is to see the control issue and remember that this is your life too. That you do have every right to be happy and to have your own opinion of what you like and dislike. And that "You" need to take care of yourself.

joni55 2010-04-20 16:27:42 -0500 Report

When I had to go on psych meds, my husband was so upset. His thinking was, "Just don't think about it!" As if wishing would make all the garbage in my head go away. It turned out the meds only kept me there. But, at the time, I needed them and they served a purpose.

joni55 2010-04-20 16:22:41 -0500 Report

I have a problem with being in my apartment sometimes. My allergies will be real bad but when I am out and about it goes away. I have no clue as to what the problem is. My place isn't the cleanest place in the world, but I am working on it.

I also have trouble with other people's help. I have been cutting back on meds because I don't need them anymore and food. I keep getting, "Well, you better eat something!" If I am not hungry I am not going to eat. And, if I do okay without my meds, I will not continue to take them. I went to my pulminary doctor and he agreed. I had stopped taking Advair about 2 months ago, mainly because I had no money to get it refilled. I had no symptoms, but when I told my primary doctor this, he just looked at me. My pulminary doctor said that if I was okay without it, don't use it. I am taking the same advice about my other meds. I am finding that the Metformin is causing me to have low readings, so I have cut back and then cut it out. I am still having good readings. People get all concerned. Well, I know God has healed me and I don't think taking meds that I don't need is healthy.

Good luck with your mom. My mom is the same way. It is annoying.

MAYS 2010-04-20 14:54:37 -0500 Report

“God could not be everywhere and therefore He made mothers.”
-Jewish Proverb

joni55 2010-04-20 16:23:27 -0500 Report

I like!

joni55 2010-04-20 16:24:21 -0500 Report

I wish my mom, though annoying at times, lived closer.

shorty31 2010-04-21 07:17:53 -0500 Report

i guess that true but that tough love and nothing wrong with it i just wish she lightin up a little iknow she worried and don't want me to know. and i really do love my mom. in some ways i admire her.

spiritwalker 2010-04-20 14:44:43 -0500 Report

Just do the best you can. I lost my mother some years ago.
She is trying to show her love and concern for you. Its her
way of saying she loves you. You could ask her not to wear
strong scents around you. The part about her acting like a
mom won't change. Be glad you still have her to "fuss" over

shorty31 2010-04-20 17:03:38 -0500 Report

i know some time it hard but i look back and hace to laugh i thinks she believes that i might leave her first. with the Lords help we 'll grow old together you know who we remind me of the golden girl with dorthy and sophia. that us.

Jeannie Holmes
Jeannie Holmes 2010-04-20 12:46:23 -0500 Report

You know my mom was the same way. We use to call her the dragon lady! She passed away 8 years ago and I would give anything to have her here. So even when your mom is driving you crazy, just love her while you can!

MAYS 2010-04-20 10:22:28 -0500 Report

Be yourself and do what is right for you.

Progression means moving forward, don't ever stop doing so in life, show no disrespect but let it be known and explained that you are doing what is necessary for you, your survival and your health.

In the end, whatever you do or do not do, affects you.
The responsibility of you and your happiness falls on, and belongs to YOU !

~ Mays ~

shorty31 2010-04-20 10:29:28 -0500 Report

i love you my friend .you know i just can't stop thinking on good i feel on the inside and happy i am just to be here alive on earth. and do what right to live longer just to be healthy. that all i want. being healthy and happy is left up to me that what that what effective way of living has taught me thank you. hugs and kisses

Harlen 2010-04-20 08:54:17 -0500 Report

LOL been there done that .
I tell frends and famly that I cant take perfumes or any strong smells and if they wish to be close please dont have them on or I can be near you.
Love is blined and she loves you so much
Best wishes

shorty31 2010-04-20 09:05:53 -0500 Report

you are so right i love my mom to no end s and i know she means well i guess she scared that she might lose me and i hope not. but i wil ask her to wear something not strong. i just love you in this picture and to see you smile do you know when you smile you are cute. you have the cutest lille boys smile . you look like you are very happy and i'm am happy for you. hugs and kisses.

Harlen 2010-04-20 10:09:11 -0500 Report

Thank you thats why I have the wiskers so as not to look so yung lol
best wishes and hugs

shorty31 2010-04-20 10:18:17 -0500 Report

you are so welcome i jsut get so tickled with you i just laugh wwhen we do talk. allways keep you dreams. hugs.

joni55 2010-04-20 16:29:28 -0500 Report

My neighbor likes to use straight bleach to clean things. The bleach smell bothers my nose and whenever she uses it I have problems. She is better about it though. She hates seeing me sick. She is a sweetie.

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