does anyone else just want to give up?

kimberly01
By kimberly01 Latest Reply 2010-06-03 07:52:15 -0500
Started 2010-04-20 00:51:32 -0500

a new endocrinologist told me I am in line for foot ulcers, having a leg amputated, I am no longer to wear high heels, sandles, or any shoe that does not look like a grandma sneaker. I have adjusted my heath care proxy to state no more surgeries, no more life saving measures, just if I go into the hosptial with an infection give me pain meds and let me go… Does anyone else feel like this is just too much of a pain in the neck and it is simply not worth it?


31 replies

gregsteele
gregsteele 2010-06-03 07:52:15 -0500 Report

i have type one have had a leg amputated and all the usual problems so yes sometimes i think of giving up but then i look at my children especially my 3 yr old and everything goes away except taking care of them as a single parent all they have is me so that is my inspiration so kimberly just remember there is always something that trumps all the problems we encouter with this disease love to all GREG

Diane987
Diane987 2010-06-03 00:34:57 -0500 Report

Hi Kimberly, I am new here but have been diabetic for over 20 years. I can tell you that giving up is not the answer to anything in life. Lets face it, diabetes is an irritating disease. Constantly controlling what you eat and drink, how much activity you have and checking glucose levels several times a day is a royal pain. But the reality is that as far as autoimmune diseases go, I would rather have diabetes than some other diseases out there. My point here is that you have to find things that make you feel better about what obstacles you face in life because there is always someone who faces something much worse.

The way I deal with it is to keep things in front of me that make me happy. I surround myself with people who keep my spirits up. Keeping control of my glucose level also keeps my mood under control. I don't know if you have family or friends that support you, but you have lots of support here. Sometimes just expressing your feelings helps you feel better. Stay strong and be happy because life is a gift!

Jerry_Abrams
Jerry_Abrams 2010-06-02 22:56:13 -0500 Report

Kimberly, I found an interesting site that may help you with the way that you are feeling. It has helped me. The website is http://www.changingdiabetes-us.com. They discuss Diabetes Burnout, which sounds like the issues that you are showing now. They offer ways to deal with the burnout. They also offer a lot of information, recipes, ideas, and support. Check it out, hope it helps. Take care and I wish you the best of luck.

Jerry

shawnalowe
shawnalowe 2010-06-02 11:00:57 -0500 Report

Hi Kimberly, I am new here. But I wanted to say. Giving up is not the answer. you have so much to live for. God put all of us here for a reason not just because he wanted to. I always live by the saying, " God only gives us what he knows we can handle, No more No less!" I have taught my children this saying and I keep drilling it into my youngest sons head every day. he was diagnosed with Type 2 in December of 2009 and at this point we are struggling to get the facts straight for it and understand what we are dealing with. He gets in the same mood and wants to give up. There has been times where he has told me he just wants to die. I take him and sit with him and talk to him bout what he has to live for. He wants to be a massage therapist or a photographer when he grows up. I told him he has to live to do that. I also told him that we are all here for him and will never let him give up. Just be strong and pray God does answer prayers and he will be there for you when no one else can be. BUT We are all here for you on here. And if you didn't care you would not be on this site.

Don't ever give up! We are rooting for you to get better Mind, Soul and heart.

Your friend,
Shawna

Edie
Edie 2010-06-02 06:38:24 -0500 Report

Kimberly;
Some days seem like it but remember you have family and friends out here that look to you for motivation and help even just a ear to listen to them. Kimberly I have read most of the replies on here this morning and they are all right. I also have other Medical problems 15 to be exact can't remember all of them but the 2 most serious are my heart and diabetes. I have found that by watching out for those two big ones I am doing better on the other 12 the Doctors tell me. I have had Diabetes for almost 38 years. During that time I have gotten the other 14 things wrong with me found out the latest one is recuring Hurina's and now I'm not to lift over 20 pounds at all but when the kids and Bill are not around and I want to clean the house I do it any way. I know they can come back but I will not just lie down and say have at me. No I AM A FIGHTER AND WILL NEVER GIVE UP. I LOVE TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST. When my kids were little all I thought about when lift made me think of killing my self was I am not letting drunks raise my babies. They are all grown up now and 4 or the 5 have kids so now I stay strong for the Grand kids. My 2 Sisters in Alabama also have Diabetes and both have had Foot Surgery in the past Month Sue just got out of the Hosp. this past week with part of her big toe cut away but she is still alive for me to turn to when I need to talk to someone. When she got home from the Hosp and our sister Toni brought her her meds she called me to walk her thru her first shot of insulin on her own. Her sugar was over 400 two years ago and she had no meds at the time, I know it was wrong to give her a shot of my Humalog but I did it any way following my scale which was only 2 units for every 20 over 120 but I only gave her 20 units so as not to shock her body and the next morning it was below 300 she went home and told her Doc. what we did and they gave her samples of pills for her to start to control her sugar better now she has gone to the shots too. She told her Doctor when I gave her the shot she never felt it and told me to let her know when I was going to give it. I told her it was done she was so surprised and when she took that shot on Wed. she did not feel it going in as she took a deep breath. She told me with the example I am giving her and Toni that, that is why she is fighting it now where before she wasn't. There is more wrong with me than I let my family and friends know as I am here for them always have been and always will be. All of you are what keeps me strong. I have been wearing tennis shoes and this past week I have noticed bumps on the bottom of my feet am keeping a close eye on them my next Doctor appt. is the 11th I moved it up from the 5th of July. I wanted to go over the road with Bill but he is talking of quiting driving and being home every night. He calls me almost every hour sometimes 2-4 times in an hour so I think all it is he misses me when were not together. See some one needs me and that makes me fight even more to stay as Healthy as I can. Hope this has helped you all some how.
Your Friend Always;
Edie Mitchell

2010-06-01 19:36:17 -0500 Report

Hi Kimberly, something that i tell myself everyday when i don't feel like doing it anymore.. "Every worthwhile journey begins with a single step." Some days i only take just one step but each day i take at least one. After awhile it seems to get better. I guess i have highs and lows though because sometimes I feel like i am back at square one.. but I also know if i just take that one step each day I will soon get out of my funkiness again. We're here to support ya and you're not alone!! Keep up the fight and never give up. Good Luck *hugs*

bace
bace 2010-05-31 14:54:21 -0500 Report

HI Kimberly, I'm new here, been diagnosed nearly 3 yrs ago with type 2. I've already had days where I feel like giving up.. I can sincerely understand those days. Don't give up. You are young, and they advance everyday in medicine and technology. You need to push yourself. I'm sure your friends and family want you to stay motivated and will help you in any way. I find myself on this site and dlife alot, just trying to keep myself going sometimes, with finding new recipes, new ways to beat any aches or pains, learning about meds, etc…
just don't give up. I watched my mother give up after years of what seemed like torture to me at the time…she died at 41yrs. old. Do you know how happy I was that I made to 42?? It seemed to give me some inspiration to go on…
good luck to you. I wish you a new happy inspiring thought for every new day…

Jerry_Abrams
Jerry_Abrams 2010-05-31 10:48:37 -0500 Report

Kimberly,

Yes, I know how you feel. I am sure that most people out there do. However, you have family and friends that love you and want you to be around them for a long time to come. I work a job that has me on my feet, walking on concrete and steel floors, for seven days before I get one day off, then another seven days on. I have blown out blood vessels in my legs, and every night, when the job is done and it's time to go home, I limp to the car. I can barely walk some nights. But I have 4 little kids and a fiance that depend on me and need me to be here for them and with them. To me, just to say "I give up" would be very selfish of me. That would mean that the feelings of my loved ones and friends doesn't mean anything to me. Yes I do have a living will, however, that is only so they don't put me on life support. Also, to give up because it is "too much of a pain in the neck" sounds like you are being lazy about taking care of yourself. I don't know, I'm not you. But it takes a stronger person to persevere than it does to give up. Be a winner and stick with what you have to do to take care of yourself. Yes, it can get old sometimes. But as you see on this very website, there are a LOT of other people that have to deal with the same things as you on a daily basis, yet we refuse to give up. You can do it, just keep your head up, and don't let things you can't control bring you down. I wish you the best.

rogovin
rogovin 2010-05-31 10:27:33 -0500 Report

Hi. My name is Pam and I just joined. I want to tell you that I have had foot problems for many years and also wear those ugly, heavy molded shoes. I used to get so depressed about them that soimetimes I would not leave the house - until one day at the doctors office I saw a girl about my age with no leg. So I stopped wearing dresses and only wear pants. It does not take away the shoes butm at mleast I havem 2 feet. Also I found a new poodiatrist.

Lakeland
Lakeland 2010-05-31 09:58:09 -0500 Report

Yes I do, there are many days, but then there is always seems to be a beautiful day or something special that appears & makes me think, it's got to get better, I'll give it more time.

One man explained to me about the mission to the moon was more like throwing a capsule into space in a general direction & as it progressed they had to continually do some type of course correction to hit the target. That's how I feel with diabetes. It's getting easier now, with time but I continually need a course correction and it's good to know they did reach their goal.

Diane

Lady Bug
Lady Bug 2010-05-30 11:50:20 -0500 Report

Kimberly, you have a lot to live for, don't give up, your are beautiful and smart and at least you have the means and doctors to care for you. Hang in there!

Carl Albert Cook
Carl Albert Cook 2010-05-29 23:06:26 -0500 Report

Can't say i Know how you feel thats a lot to have to deal with but I am a Christian and I believe he has a purpose for us all I really don't know what all you have went though but give god a chance Nothing is possible without him you sound like a really sweet person wished there was something i could do to make it better for you. signed Carl Albert Cook

thomas kosky
thomas kosky 2010-05-29 21:25:01 -0500 Report

KIMBERLY-i have a heart condition since 2005.in 2008 i was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.i take care of my self to the best of my ability.i don't like taking meds.i don't like dieting.i don't like to exercise.i try to do everything i'm supposed to do.i'm far from 100%.i put myself at 75%.and i try.i have decent health coverage.i go to a foot doctor every 10 weeks or so.i inspect and wash my feet everyday.i know it's frustrating but you have to try.do it.you know you can.if you didn't care you wouldn't be on this website.when i die i don't want everyone to say ''oh he gave up''.i want them to shed a few tears and say ''at least he didn't give up.he tried.''i wish you god luck and great health.lots of love and GOD bless you.TOM.

petals
petals 2010-05-29 20:30:48 -0500 Report

Hi kimberly, I think we all feel like giving up from time to time. But you can't give it, if you do you let diabetes win. Just take care of yourself. Any day above ground is a great day!

Emma2412
Emma2412 2010-05-29 17:13:03 -0500 Report

Hi, Kimberly
Yeah, I guess sometimes we all have felt like that, but you know what? I know you're going to take a deep breath, think of all the people who love you, and keep on keeping on. Don't ever, ever give up!
As far as the granny sneaker is concerned, I'm sure what with all the styles out there, you will find something that looks great on you and gives you that sexy feeling all of us girls want.
As for what the doctor said, how many times has a doctor said this or that and is ultimately proved wrong? Prove that doctor wrong!!! If I were you, I would look for another doctor simply because I don't like doctors who try to sabotage a person. Diabetes is hard enough to deal with without doctors being so negative.
Listen to this short story. My friend's daughter was born with some sort of condition — I forget the name of the thing. When the doctor told her about the condition of her daughter, he said her daughter would never be able to go through school and never do any number of things that ordinary children do. Imagine! But, you know what? Her daughter graduated from high school with pretty good marks. So, don't listen to anybody, let alone a doctor who should know better, when the message is negative.
I'm a firm believer that diabetes depletes our body of Vitamin A. The next blood test you get, ask your doctor to have that checked. In other words, make sure your body has the proper tools it needs to fight infections.

SandraD13
SandraD13 2010-05-29 11:37:17 -0500 Report

NO NO NO - Don't give up. I buy a new pair of sandals from footsmart.com every summer. I now have 3 pairs of Merrill sandals which are very very comfortable. I have black, red, and white, They will last for years.

In the wintertime I wear Merrill Jungle Mocs, which look like anything but grandma shoes, yet they are very supportive. They are black suede, and are now 3 winters old. They too will last forever. I may buy a beige pair this year. I have thrown away all other shoes and do not mind at all. I always look fashionable and trendy.

Finally stay on your diet, look at your feet every day. My endo gave me permission to get pedicures, if I had checked out the place and was comfortable with the salon. I bought all the implements they use and take my own sterilized tools. I am living with this disease and feeling good.

Rethink this and let me know if I can help you.

AllyOop
AllyOop 2010-04-28 17:53:10 -0500 Report

Just take care of your feet and you won't have any ulcers or anything bad happen. That isn't too hard. My grandfather had part of his foot removed because of diabetes, but it was because he took no notice at all of his feet or his diet and he still managed to live to 93.

Sandals can be sexy! Don't be so into your own pain, everyone has something, you just aren't aware of it. Maybe your doc wanted you to know what could happen if you didn't take care of yourself, are you? The best thing is to do the best that you can and then forget it and go have some fun.

donnamf
donnamf 2010-04-24 20:37:41 -0500 Report

I do want to give up many times, but I know that if I do than I won't be a part of this world for long.I too have many other conditions besides the diabetes giving up is not the answer.I just joined this site and I am so glad I have found it.I wanted to just give up myself.The past couple of days since I have joined I have got my BS down to a reasonable level.I had no idea that I could ever see better results.I just started watching my carbs and I have been disciplining myself.Things are going to get better.Just reading some of these discussions helps.I'm glad I 'm here and I do feel more encouraged to do better.Thanks everyone for all the support.I appreciate the help.I hope your able to find some encouragment to help you there is light at the end of the tunnel.

dietcherry
dietcherry 2010-04-23 13:50:12 -0500 Report

Hey Kimberly! Your words break my heart a little-a chronic illness is so draining on our psyche and can overwhelm us with depression and defeat. I encourage you to please take care of yourself the very best you can-we all get fed up with D and want to throw in the towel. Not keeping your blood sugar in a healthy range can also cause depression. I agree with Harlen-there are so many good things in life that I would hate to deprive myself of. Take care and check in with us often! Renee :)

ston3xc
ston3xc 2010-04-21 08:48:18 -0500 Report

One of my biggest concerns is keeping my feet healthy. I wear grandma sandals - found them on FootSmart.com. I still have pulses and feeling although sometimes I can't tell if my feet are cold or not. I can understand about giving up. When I think about dialysis looming in my future, I wonder if that's going to be my breaking point. But for now I keep plugging on. Everybody is going to tell you to keep the FAITH, and I am too,but don't feel bad about doing what feels right for you.
We're all here for you!
Lots of HUGS AND KISSES !!!!!!

spiritwalker
spiritwalker 2010-04-20 15:08:53 -0500 Report

Welcome to DC. I am a type2, I lost a leg, but not to diabetes, but to MRSA a deadly infection. The fact is I
should have died but didn't. Take care of your feet. There
are worse things that orthopedic shoes. We all have up
and down days, weeks or months. Mood swings seem a part
of this for some people. You have a choice to live controlling your diabetes or letting it control you! If you are ill enough
that you make a choice for DNR order that is a very personal
determination. It should be discussed with your Dr. and family. I can tell you that if you sign such an order and
wear a DNR medal, it will be honored in most medical
settings. My question for you is, is your life that bad?
Diabetes is a chronic disease, but you can have a good
life. Are you willing to do the work. I have had diabetes for 25 years. I control it with diet, exercise and insulin. My
A1C has been between6-7. Its hard work at times, but worth
it.

MAYS
MAYS 2010-04-20 15:31:44 -0500 Report

Very well stated !
Giving up, giving in and walking away are cop outs, don't do it, stand up and fight, manage your diabetes and your life, take control, be in control !

~Mays~

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2010-04-20 12:43:25 -0500 Report

Yep, living with diabetes is a big ole pain in the you-know-where! But so is a lot of other "stuff" we have to endure and deal with in life. When all of that becomes overwhelming and more than you can deal with for the moment, it stands to reason that we sometimes feel like giving up. Usually your outlook with improve in a few days and you'll be able to "pick yourselfup, dust yourself off and start all over again", as an old song says. If you don't or cannot do that, however, seek help from a professional immediately. It definitely helps to face up to your doubts, fears and feelings and get it out in the open. Fine to do that with a trusted friend or relative, but you probably also need some professional counseling. I try very hard during those "down" times to look at my life and see the things I have for which to be thankful. Life is just tough. I pray you have the Lord to rely on. That definitely is my source of great strength. Don't beat yourself up for having these feelings and period of depression. You're not alone. Just keep in mind that we all have those times, but things can and usually do get better. God bless you.

SJBHrrs2003
SJBHrrs2003 2010-04-29 16:24:15 -0500 Report

LadyDi, you are so right when you say to be thankful for the things you have that are right! For myself, I have a tablet that I write in on days I am down where I write at least 5 things I am thankful for and why I am thankful for them. This lifts my spirits enough that I am able to face another day. I do not always stick to writing just 5 things, (I can and sometimes do), write more. It depends on my mood, and what all has gone on in my life. I try to never repeat things in my "THANKFUL LIST". Sometimes it has been hard to think of something new to be thankful for, that is when I get down to the 'basic needs' in life.

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2010-04-29 17:22:59 -0500 Report

Sadly, I'm afraid some things to be thankful for we simply take for granted. You're doing a wonderful thing - and helping yourself - by writing things down each day. It's so easy to just become overwhelmed and consumed by the things in our lives that bring us down and give us pain. Good for you!

cc9
cc9 2010-04-20 08:54:55 -0500 Report

perhaps its your endocrinologist being frank with you bec he/she may think you are not trying sufficiently to take care of yourself and manage your diabetes. I have been there where i just dont give a toss about taking my insulin or meds properly and eat stuff thats unhealthy and sure to spike my sugars. This is part of the cycle of feeling depressed (and in my case feeling sorry for myself as well)It does not necessarily mean you will have foot ulcers or amputations. you have the choice and the means not to go down that path.
its difficult to stay motivated at times. i think we have all been there. its about self caring and loving yourself enough to care about life- your life and your quality of life.
Ultimately whether you want to fight on or self harm by being negligent is entirely up to you.Noone can do it for you. I do hope though that you will choose to affirm life and live it to your fullest.

Harlen
Harlen 2010-04-20 07:20:36 -0500 Report

I think we all get that way from time to time.
Lest see what we would give up??????
Never to see the kids again,never to make love , have a good meal, see a good show,a sun rise,to feel the waves crash over us,to holed a baby tiger,to have and love the pets we have to get more? look at all the fun we would miss if we where not here??????? yes there is pain and theres the pain in the but with diabetes but you know theres just to much to just give up as long as your here theres a shot at being happy and having fun I just cant give that up.
As I look I see others that have it a LOT harder then I do.
Give up never!
Best wishes
Harlen

Gabby
GabbyPA 2010-04-20 11:44:10 -0500 Report

There are days when I say I just don't care. I get so mad and just want to eat a half gallon of ice cream and a bag of cookies.

Harlen hits it right on the head. When I look at what I have been blessed with, I cannot do that. I would not be able to see my step-daughter get married or enjoy grand kids. I would not get to see my husband's dream come true to build a gym facility for handicapped people. I would miss out on the Grand Canyon and Vegas (two places I have not seen yet) There is far too much out there to say I give up.
If you want hard, live in a wheelchair. My husband is in a chair and has been for about 10 years and he inspires me daily to not give up. What he endures is far more difficult than me choosing salad over pasta for lunch.

Zimoss
Zimoss 2010-04-20 01:59:58 -0500 Report

I get that way sometimes too..especially with everything we deal with as diabetics. I would suggest finding a friend who will listen to your gripes…rather it be real or imagined … sometimes we just need to vent.

I would also suggest that maybe you look into seeing mental health professional or talking to your doctor, since there is a large portion of the diabetic population that deals with depression also.

I hope you get the help you need.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2010-04-20 01:50:42 -0500 Report

There's something about your post that leads me to believe that you're going to stop taking care of your diabetes? I pray that this is not so.

You seem like you feel like life is not worth living?

scottylarue
scottylarue 2010-06-02 17:34:51 -0500 Report

believe me I understand wanting to just give up… I struggle every day with staying with the testing the shots watching what I eat and trying to exercize… But I know it is the best I can do because I want to be around for my family… You hang in there and know that many of us are in your corner cheering for you…

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