By Tkm Latest Reply 2012-12-17 19:16:52 -0600
Started 2010-04-16 00:50:26 -0500

My dear friend was just diagnosed with type 2. I see her struggle and I want to help. I am part of a group that hopes to create new innovations in diabetes care which brings me to my questions:
what about diabetes frustrates you most?
and do you have any suggestions for me when it comes to offering support?
Thank you!

10 replies

cograndma 2012-12-17 19:08:26 -0600 Report

I have two things that bother me the most…#1 on the list is people who know nothing about diabetes telling me "Oh you shouldn't eat that" or " you have diabetes, so you shouldn't eat any sugar at all"…The don't know that any carbs you eat are turned into sugar by the body to be used as fuel…I know that I need to eat complex carbs, because they are broken down more slowly, therefore, for the most part, keeping your sugar level.
#2 is the fact that this will be something that I have to manage every day for the rest of my life. Sometimes this can be very frustrating. Also, I sometimes get the feeling that my family does not understand how complex it is to manage diabetes. When I am with one of my sisters, they will either tell me that they think I shouldn't be eating whatever it is I am eating OR I will get a condescending comment all the time…"are you OK". The way it is said makes me feel like I am a little child that is being watched by an overbearing mother!!
I think your family and friends should get educated and then ask if there is anything they can do to help instead of thinking that they know everything about managing my diabetes.

gogobob 2010-11-25 13:11:49 -0600 Report

Oh the frustrations of medical problems. I have diabeties, 3 bad disks in lower back, restless leg sydrome, and parkinsons,as well as some other smaller problems. but the restless leg and parkinsons tremors are like running a 10 mile run at night. So then my blood sugar drops to as low as 18. I do not anylonger feel the highs and lows so I must rely on other people to watch over me. But even that dose little due to I can be at 18-20 and still be full conscience. It drives my nurses crazy as well as the dr,s even had one nurse quit saying she could not handle being around me and not knowing what to expect when she opened my door. I have been a type 1 since 1978 and the parkinsons was told to me in 2000 have had to give up living on my own. now all meals are on a close time table. However my a1c is at 11.6 and my Dr is fine with this but I have issuses with it that high and I am loosing weight to the point I now am on hospice so I guess the nexet 6 months will tell.

cograndma 2012-12-17 19:14:17 -0600 Report

I agree with you that you should be concerned with A1C at 11.6. The flip side of that can sometime be that medications that you are taking for other things, for example parkinsons can be something that is keeping your sugars high… If you are taking levadopa/carvadopa for Parkinsons it can be contributing to high sugars. I was taking it for RLS and had that problem, then they changed me to Lyrica and my sugars came down…
I would personally discuss that with your doctor, or change doctors..Hope things get better

Lakeland 2010-05-01 15:39:17 -0500 Report

What frustrates me the most is . I believe my doctor is a cookie cutter doctor. treating everyone the same with diabetes. I've changed, my diet, exercise, lost 30 lbs & he still has me on the same dose meds, he says your numbers are going down and the meds "must be working". they worked when I was at 550 & a1c was 10.3 —

I don't want to go too low. so now I do my own thing. I've cut my meds in half my numbers are better all the way around my a1c is still getting better it's at 5.7

I know it's not recommended not to listen to doctors but I think I care more about me than he does


Pam from KCMO
Pam from KCMO 2010-04-17 06:31:50 -0500 Report

What frustrates me most is the fact that it never ends. It's day after day after day after day…and sometimes I get tired and seriously pissed at my condition.

All you can do is what others have suggested - listen a lot, don't judge their behavior (I liked the phrase below - diabetes police), and don't change your interaction with your friend. She/he is still the same person and doesn't need to be handled with kid gloves. (Unless, of course, she/he is in the middle of a crying jag…lol…then the gloves help, I guess!)

One more thing: Make sure you know what to do if your friend gets in trouble. I've told my staff, for example, that if they see me on the floor, shove a couple glucose tabs in my mouth (they know the tabs are in my desk) and call 911.

Luckily that's never happened! But they know what to do in the eventuality that it does.

You're a good friend, obviously, and right now your friend does need you. The diagnosis of diabetes is a scary one - but the disease can be managed. Good luck to you all.

cograndma 2012-12-17 19:16:52 -0600 Report

I agree about telling people that you have diabetes. I always do so at work. At my last job I zoned out and when someone came to see what was happening, I fell on the floor and had a seizure.. Wasn't caused by diabetes, but a small brain aneurism…But my coworkers knew to tell paramedics about my condition…

GabbyPA 2010-04-17 07:37:04 -0500 Report

Excellent point on knowing what to do if your friend is in trouble. That is true of the family members as well.

Zimoss 2010-04-17 02:14:46 -0500 Report

1) don't offer advice unless your friend wants it/ asks for it.
I think there is nothing worse that a person who thinks that nagging will do anything to change my attitude.

2) find a friend to talk to …even just talking sometimes helps. (in your case ..offer a sympathetic ear, sometimes we just need to vent and having a friend to listen and not judge is invaluable)

GabbyPA 2010-04-16 08:22:30 -0500 Report

Hi Tkm and welcome to our community. I think when you cruise our site you will see some great examples of support here. We have an incredible group of people here whom most have never met, but relationships are strong.

With your friend, just be who you are that made you friends in the first place. Don't change into a diabetes police officer or someone who encourages bad choices. Don't feel sorry for her either, pity is not part of any chronic disease. Just be the friend you have always been. She will need that most.

What frustrates me most? The constant roller coaster ride of diabetes. Just when I think I have found something that will work to keep my control better...I get another hair raising curve. I know I have to keep my sense of adventure and experimentation always alive to keep a handle on things.

MAYS 2010-04-16 02:46:14 -0500 Report

Welcome to Diabetic Connect !

What frustrates me the most ?

Myths, misconceptions and ignorance are setbacks because even diabetics fall prey to this at times, scientific and medical advances as well as natural remedies that are proven, should be factored in a and brought to the forefront and the myths and ignorance exposed, advertised and eventually cast aside.

And of course the elimination of excuses by diabetics themselves, motivation on all fronts and levels is needed, diabetics need to know that the research both begins and ends with them.
Motivation, (awareness, action, research and documentation) all go a long way into helping researchers to find a way to possibly cure diabetes one day in the future.

It all starts with self and the greatest motivator, life !

~ Mays ~

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